Uniho, the Unholy Hero and his Tiring Adventures

It was a day like any other, birds were flying, singing, trees were full of lives and it was a good scenery...except when you had seen for 999 times.

A man in brown hair, with silver chest plate and a sword, had been standing in the entrance to a village for hours now. From the sunrise to noon. He kept standing. He sigh at the blue steel sky and sat on the ground. "Damn it Gods...I have been doing this for 3 years or more already. I don't want anything I can do in my life is to just sit and watch this same Goddamn trees, Goddamn birds, Goddamn sky and the Goddamn hills..." He thought to himself.

"I really, really want something else to happen, mate. If my life is going to change from some random woman, then it will be wonderful..." He had this idea with weirdly specific details. He closed his eyes and wanting to sleep.

"Uniho! Uniho!" A woman screamed his name. Uniho woke up and took a look from the approaching woman. He recognized her, she was Iliana, his chilhood friend. "What is matter, Iliana? Your house needs plumbing? I have done that like days ago already. You can safely take a dump with that toilet." Uniho said unenthusiastically, as if this had happened for countless times in a month.

"Damn it Uniho!" Iliana said, "It is not about my toilet! Another village is under attacked! They need your help!" Uniho looked at her with suspicion. "Don't tell me it is a prank, because I am not in a good mood." Uniho said.

"It is no prank! I assure you! Now come with me!" Iliana began to lead Uniho to through the forest. It was dark and the leaves had covered most of the sunlight, but it was still somewhat visible. A bright light shined at end of the forest. Iliana and Uniho approached its shiny end. They had gone across the forest.

The sunlight is no longer blocked by the leaves. It was an open area up ahead. A village of sorts could be seen and smokes came out of it. "Don't tell me you burnt down others' houses just for this prank..." Uniho said to Iliana, looking at her with even more suspicion. "Am I such a prankster?" Iliana asked him.

"Well, yesterday, you put frogs in my personal toilet. Last week, you put weird white magic powder in my milk, making it look creamy and slimey. A month ago, you put dog shits on my lunch..." Uniho kept saying examples of Iliana prevous pranks, before Iliana stopping him. "Alright, alright! I am so sorry! But there is a village in need of your help! Please save them!" Iliana said.

Uniho felt weird about Iliana's sincerity, but he ran towards the smoking village anyway. Just like what she said, the villagers are being attack by monsters. Taking a closer look, they are undeads. "Well, ain't this a job for me." Uniho said, unholstering his sword. He charged at the undeads with the sword. Closer and closer, just Uniho was about to make contact with the undeads, the undeads swung their axes, spears and swords at him. Uniho disappeared, to their surprise.

"I am right here, you retarded undeads!" Uniho's voice appeared behind the undeads and slashed all of them to dozens of pieces with a single swing. The broken undead bodies crawled for a while, until they stopped moving. The priest looked at the sword. He screamed, "It's the sword that can purge the undeads, the Sariloka!"

Just seconds later, an undead brute kicked down one of the building doors, holding a kid in its arm. It was threating to kill the kid. Uniho dashed faster and faster towards the brute. At the same time, the brute's blade was moving closer and closer to the hostage.

With just a flash, something dropped on the ground...It was Uniho's sword. Next to the sword was Uniho, who was kneeling on the floor, facing down. "Oh please spare the kid's life! Oh I beg you!" Uniho said, facing down the ground. The brute looked confused. "I beg your ass!" Uniho suddenly shouted and looked at the brute with an evilly smile. He and his sword disappeared. The brute started to sweat with the kid in its arm. He looked and looked, but still could not see Uniho.

Something cold poked out of the brute's stomach, it was a sword. "You are already dead." Uniho said, while laughing behind the brute. He quickly slashed the sword upwards, cutting the brute's upper body and its head in half. It was a clean cut. The kid immediately jumped out of the brute's arms and returned to its parents. Uniho then flicked his sword and the sword spit the undead blood out of the blade.

"Uniho! You saved them!" Iliana entered the village just after Uniho defeated the undeads. "Yeah...and you just watched in the distance doing nothing." Uniho jokingly said, but Iliana did not laugh. "I did not know that you can teleport, Uniho. How did you do that?" Iliana asked curiously.

Uniho looked at Iliana again with suspicion. "What? Didn't you knew it already? I just teleported to your house to fix your toilet's problems days ago and you asked how. I have explained that to you already." Uniho said unpleasantly. "Ah...ah...I thought it was just a joke or some sorts...so I kinda forgot about it..." Iliana laughed nervously. "I want to hear it again."

"This is getting pointless, but here we go again..." Uniho said, complaining about Iliana's sgort memories. "I was born with this ability. My adadotive father said that I should not use this ability that often they will think that I am some kind of weird monster thing. However, now that almost everyone in my village knows this, I just use this ability to my full advantage, ok?"

"So, you can just teleport to any places?" She asked him. "No, I can only teleport to places within 10 metres radius. If I teleport more than that, I will have a bad day for my stomach." Uniho implied.

"Mr. Warrior! Please listen to me!" Uniho heard a voice calling him and turned around. He saw the priest calling him. "What is the matter?" Uniho said as he walked towards the priest. "You have to listen to me young one, I can foresee the upcoming invasion of the undead army! Only you, the person with the Sariloka, can stop it!"

"Wait, undead army?" Uniho paused for seconds. "Yes, the undead army, who is now in the Necromancer Lord's hands." the old priest said, "You can save the world using that sword, young one! Please! For humans and our people!" Uniho looked at the sky, looking like he was considering the priest's words.

"Oh yeah!! Finally! I can say goodbye to my normal guarding job! After defeating the Necromancer Lord, I will be famous and rich!" These were Uniho's inner thoughts. He was laughing internally.

"What is he doing?" The priest asked Iliana. Uniho was chuckling stupidly with a greedily-looking face. Iliana shrug her shoulders to the priest. Uniho look down from the sky, to the old priest. He pretended to look determined and handsome to the priest. "I will do it. Don't worry. I will come back with the Necromancer Lord's head and bring peace to this land!"

The priest looked happy and he called two other men to come to him. "These two men are my sons. They are brave warriors. They will accompany you in your journey to assist you." The two men looked worried and began to look at each other. "The left one is Lashe and the other one is Klamo. I am sure you will be good friends."

"My name is Uniho. Let us go and defeat the Necromancer Lord!" Uniho said joyfully. The two men had fake smiles on their faces, worrying what was going to come next.

Unknown to Uniho, this journey wouldn't be a smooth sailing and it might be worse than he could ever imagine. Oh, such idiotic adventurer.