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Unfortunately, Reincarnated.

A martial artist with a foul mouth and wild attitude has been reincarnated...buck naked in a cave that is. Why has he been reincarnated, why isn't he human, and why is his dick out? Find out as he explores this new world! See if he finds pants! Seriously, why doesn't he have pants? [Disclaimer!!!] As many of you may know, this novel is on hardcore hiatus and waiting on a reboot. Which I'm starting to do, I promise! It's gonna be in third person, it's gonna be better written and all that shit. It's gonna take me a lot of time though. I'm just one dude and I'm both really lazy and depressed. That said though, I really hope you enjoy the book. And check out the spin off!

Femboy_Novelist · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
32 Chs

The City

After a very short negotiation, I've gotten Yorlund to properly cook the leg he gave me. He should have just cooked it from the start!

Anywho, the deer tastes...fine I guess. Just like regular venison but with a very distinct metallic taste. Aside from that, I'm more interested in why they didn't really fully skin the deer, only the parts we're eating.

"The deer has valuable resources all over it's body, but we have to eat so were doing our best to keep it mostly intact."

Were...were my thoughts that obvious? I know I was staring at it and all but..

"So I'm sorry, but we can't cook the whole thing for you."

I'm gonna fucking kill this guy...

....

.....

..

AWAKE TIME! I say that but I never fell asleep in the first place, I don't feel sleepy in the slightest for some reason...not like I could've gottem comfy in that shitty lean-to anyway though.

Watching everyone else wake up though is kind of suprising, like all of them seem to he morning people. They aren't even slightly groggy! Well...maybe this is normal and I'm the weird one since I wasn't ever a morning person.

After the camp is all packed you know what that means? That's right! Another 12 hours in that fucking carriage! Hurray for me...

.....

"Hey! Big guy, are you there?"

Yes, I am. I've just been staring into space for god knows how long so excuuuuuse me.

I peeked out of the carriage, and holy shit...

Before my eyes was a wall the size of the hoover dam, and a whole camps and caravans bunched up outside the huge metal and wooden gates.

Alot of merchants and shit mostly...couple of hunters and such mixed in, handful of shady guys. I mean...its about what one would expect right? Medival towns weren't like modern ones, they needed walls and shit to protect from invaders. People had to go through inspections and such but in the modern world thats reserved to borders and such.

Anywho, looks like it's our turn! I wonder how this is gonna go...

....

.....

Apparently pretty well, I didn't even have to get out of the carriage! Yorlund just poked his head out, nodded at the gate gaurd and we were let into the city. I shouldn't be super suprised though, it makes sense that gaurds would recognize the people that go in and out alot more than others.

But now that we're in the city its time to finally get out of this carriage! Or not.

The moment I tried to step out of the carriage, Yorlund and Kieran flipped their shit trying to stop me. I don't particularly blame them...after all, if I scared the shit out of these guys, imagine how I would look to ordinary townsfolk?

"I know you wanma get out and look around, but its better if we stop by the guild first. We can go sight seeing after, okay?"

Ah...I guess Yorlunds right. You know that was a problem for me back on earth too, I always hated sitting in the car when there was only 1 destination, liked to look around. Hated having to just sit and wait till we got to where we 'had' to go, couldn't explore because of it.

I nodded my head at Yorlund and sat back down, waiting even longer as we had to go extra slow in the town because of the pedestrians. And man, it fucking sucked. I can literally hear people having fun! And yet, I can't have any fun myself because I'm a walking nightmare and I have to go do this guild shit.

Fuck...those comics and novels made reincarnation seem like fun but this sucks, it's basically all buisness and no play. In a list: I've woken up in a cave naked, wandered around in a forest for hours, killed literal infants, almost got killed by a massive bear, scared the shit out of a bunch of people, gotten treated like an idiot and rode in a carriage.

Does that sound like fucking fun!?

Well whatever! Misfortune has been my mistress for awhile so it's not like I cant adapt. I've been dealt alot of misfortune my whole life, mostly socially and financially though to be honest..

"Big man! Time to get out, we're behind the guild building."

Behind the..oh! Good thinker, this guy. I'd stand out like a sore thumb if I went in through the front.

I stepped out of the carriage, and to my suprise, the building was huge. Like huge huge, it's not even a building. It's a full on Colosseum.

"Yeah, impressive isn't it? We'll have to come in through the back unfortunately....but we'll get you evaluated for an I.D. card."

I think I was a little harsh on Yorlund, he's going above and beyond here to help me! It looks like I'm gonna end up owing him..

Yorlund led me through the tall ceilinged halls of the hunters guild, and to my suprise I wasn't getting many odd looks, more so Yorlund was. Is he unpopular or something?

Or is he getting odd looks because he brought me?

Eventually after traversing the halls for a few minutes, Yorlund brought me to a very scary looking bald gentleman with tattoos ON HIS FUCKING FACE. What psycho besides Mike Tyson tatts their face? Mike is different though, he earned that shit hands down. As for this guy though, how did they even tattoo his face, this is medieval level society, they didn't have fucking tattoo pens. What was happening again? I kind of spaced put while thinking about the tattoos thing.

"Good riddens fucker!" said Yorlund as he walked away with a hefty bag of coins, the tattooed man patting him on the back.

Handcuffs locked around my wrists, clicking loudly, a big metal door sliding closed, sealing me in a massive room with demi humans monsters wearing similar cuffs, some even being chained up.

What?

Thank you for 14k views, I get writers block very easily. I'm going to try and go back through chapters and fix type-o's, and please bear with me on upload times. My mother had a anxiety induced asthma attack, which we thought was a heart attack. So the family is a bit shaken up at the moment, aswell as my financial situation has mad focusing difficult, expect a spotty upload schedule.

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