Chapter Hundred and Twenty one

Scott handed me a soda, I stare at it for some moment before collecting it. "How did you know that I was in there," I said gulping down the now open soda in my hand. "I have to look out for you, you know that right?  " No, I don't," I said looking at him to tell me the truth. "Did John send you over to look after me? I asked. " Not in terms of stalking but yes, he sent me to. lookout for you since he knows that Sam would dare come after you again and look he was right"  "Yeah, I replied gulping down the soda again to call my nerves. 

" I think I would drop you home" he suggests. Looking over to me. "I think you should go, I can do that by myself". " I know that but since the danger is out there, you should allow me to" He insisted. "And my car?  " That shouldn't worry you, I'll take care of that Madam" I chuckled and climbed into his car and waited dir him to do the same. "What's that? He looked at the bag beside me. " Umm, that's my daughter's birthday gift" I smiled and looked at the gift. "I just want her to be happy when she sees all this," I said looking out the window. Sunny Mummy is going away from her but that doesn't mean I won't miss you so much". 

"Can you stop me at the grocery store to buy something?  "Sure, "I looked I bought a few things, I was going to spend quality time with her before I leave, just thinking about leaving again brought tears down in my eyes, I took a calming breath and walked back to the car and let Scott drives me home. I spent the evening listening to music and stuffing myself with cheese till I heard a knock on my door. Who could be there may be nobody important, I tried to ignore the knock and continue with my cheese but it persisted making me drag myself up from the couch and walk to the door, and pull It open without bothering to ask who it was.

I stare in shock at the person standing there, she was always looking to get her very best. " I think it was time for me to visit," she says to still standing by the door, she just reminded me Of the old times, the first day I walked into her office the good times we spent. I missed the but I just want to forget, I kept staring at her. Half part of me wanted to rush into her arms and hug her while the other half wanted nothing but to walk away. "Becca, she called still standing at the door. " If I ask you to turn back and walk away what would become a reaction. "Did you want to know what my reaction would be? She asked looking at me. 

I don't even think I want to know because maybe it will hurt a lot worse, with it even expecting it she pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly. " This is what I would do, nothing in this world would make me leave you" I stood in her arms stunned without knowing what to say. "I missed you so much Becca, even if you try to lock yourself away from the world" "I locked myself away because that was the best way to forget". " I heard myself speak, "I think it should be the opposite Becca" I shook my head and withdrew myself from her. "You remind me of the pass of the good times I have but doesn't have now". 

" You can still be that happy". I shook my head again with a sad smile "They something that you can never be replaced or amend" I said and watched her stare at me with the same hurt expression she have when I quit my job. "Come in, I gestured holding the door open for her, this was the last time in years I would see her again. I think it was also best to let her know she had once been close to me "what did you say, we stroll as we always do before you'll ask me to leave. " You know I can never ask that" she smiled walking up to me and hugging me again.

"Swear, you didn't miss me," she said choking back in her tears. "I won't because I missed you more". " But why? Why can't you give everything a chance again". I smiled sadly without responding, a big piece of me has been broken which can never be mended. "I'll go get dressed," I said looking for an excuse to be alone for the moment, everything seems strange to me. I have distanced myself away from a lot of people and places but it just feels as if they are coming back slowly into my life and making the pain worse I sat down on my bed and tried to calm my nerves before grabbing a coat from my wardrobe.

We headed down Anaheim lake, it just reminded me of the old times when I had the thought that I would achieve a lot in a few years with my daughter and the man I love by my side. I looked up to the sky and shut my eyes for a brief second and try to find peace somewhere in the center of the universe. "Remember when we use to come here and drink to our fill?  " Yeah, the wonderful days with a little bit of worry". "Yeah, Mandy agreed, I looked down and kicked out a pebble that was on my way into the river.

" You could be happy, did you know that?  "Even if I am, it wouldn't be the same if Sunny was by myself". " She'll be there when you need her". "I need her every day with me but the sad news is she Isn't here, you see... I dragged my finger and looked around the environment, I was going to miss here. " Mandy, I called "Yeah, he looked at me. " I'm leaving..."Leaving? Mandy stop and glare at me. "Yeah, I'm leaving from the country, I think it would be the best thing to do"." How will you cope on your own without your friends or parent, you need us, Becca, you bee is to be there for you" I shook my head and looked up at the sky "I need time alone, everything here reminds me of the perfect life couldn't have and very moment that pass by, it feels like soul l piercing pain". "What about Sunny?  I didn't want the pain to come back, I just wanted to feel okay leaving my daughter here but it makes me feel guilty like I have committed the biggest crime ever.

" I think she will be fine till I come back for her... I'm inviting you to her birthday party in a weekend, I want to celebrate it with her before I leave". "Her big aunt will be there to shake up the table" "Thanks, I smiled and focused back on watching the sky, just a way to escape from all this, just for a brief time to find peace". " Always call me if you need anything" I nodded and held back my tears, I allowed my gaze to travel at the calm wave of the peaceful night and found out that this was my best moment.

I walked home, playing all the memories that had led me here in the past. How good and fulfilled I was in watching the sky, how I've been happy to know that whenever I went back home that my daughter and Andrew would be there waiting for me now that I was hungry, I couldn't even prepare a meal. Because it feels so empty and lonely doing all that alone there were times I didn't care about loneliness when none of this bothers me but now I couldn't escape from the problem and pain that stares me in the face.

I wonder if Sam was somewhere waiting for me, I sigh hoping it wasn't true. I dragged my finger to the gun on the side of my jeans. I wonder if Scott was looking for it, I had taken the gun away from him when he wasn't paying attention and wouldn't think twice about using it. If that monster ever comes in my way again, I wouldn't be sorry for what would happen to him and that would only count for self-defense. I made my way to the opposite direction from my house, I think I needed this. I kept In walking in the dark until my feet began to ache, if it was a human it would have cursed and gotten angry at me but my heart wouldn't because it was only it that understand the type of pain that I was passing through.

I kept walking with the house on my mind, I heard idiots whistling as I pass, If they ever dare come close I wouldn't think twice about using it in them also, I just want to be left alone, it was peaceful and better than way. I finally came to a stop in front of the mansion, my gaze traveled up to my daughter's room. Her light was already off meaning she was already asleep, I just hope that I was there with her. I want to sit beside her and sing her favorite song to her stroking her hair just to be there for her, that's the only thing I want for my daughter to be close to me. I would never want anything else if I gave my daughter close to me.

I didn't know how long I was standing there, didn't know how long I had gazed at my daughter's bedroom window, and wished that I was there by her side till a car pulled to a stop behind me. I didn't bother to turn, didn't want to be distracted thinking about my daughter, I just want the time to pass with me standing here. I just hope that it will heal the pain. I kept my gaze at the window until I heard footsteps approaching me. Just stay away, just stay away from me! I screamed the thought within me. When I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I turned Immediately, taking the gin from my side and pointing it to the stranger. "You look like a deadly assassin standing this way with your gun" I stare for a while in silence trying to process the face and voice. "John". " I think you could put it down now" shaky I brought the gun down. "Come on, he said gesturing to the car, I gaze at the car then back at the mansion and without a word, I turned away and headed toward the car. My head felt light suddenly and my body felt weightless as if floating in the air, I just wish that this was peace...

My eyes snapped open after what looked like a second or hour and now I was confused about where I was, the last thing I remembered was... John, gun and the car, He had appeared and asked me to enter the car and... Didn't know what happened next. I shut my eyes for some seconds before opening it back. This time, I tried to seat up and looked around the room, this was a...hospital. Did I blackout, that was it, that was why I couldn't remember anything. I rubbed my head with my finger to reduce the pounding ache.

" The medicine would reduce the headache in no time, you just have to rest" I looked up and found John and Scott being him. "Such a terrible place to wake up" I smiled feeling the ache again. "You need some rest to get better," he said ignoring me and walking toward the bed. "Sorry for pointing the gun at you". " It's alright, just happy that I'm still alive". I looked at Scott "You have a smart way to make things yours". "I think so...