Chapter Hundred and Seven

I stare at the burnt meat on the table, it was burnt, I wished I had more money on me then I would have bought another one "you don't have to bother about that". Andrew said from the other end staring at me. " I just want to treat you to a nice dinner" "This is okay for me, more than okay, he reached out to touch my palm on the table, it felt so warm, so right and it reminds me of all my feelings of the past which I don't want to deal or have anything to do with again, I slipped my hand away and kept it under the table.

Part of me had struggled to keep it still and enjoy the warmth band feelings that I have missed and would also miss but the pain was much the pain has reminded me of how it can never be the way I've wanted it to be, the pain had reminded me that it was now a life that I've been denied of my daughter custody and love. "If it not okay, I can take you out to have a nice dinner". Andrew just looked at me with a sad smile on his face. " I don't care about food, I don't mind eating burnt meat if is that would allow me to spend another unforgetful night with you, I don't mind at all I'm just happy that I get to spend time with you before I leave" 

I nodded and filled my fork with rice before scooping it in my mouth. "So what's your plan now, I know I d have the right to ask you can decide not to answer if you don't feel like it" he nodded at me and focus on filling his mouth with carrot. "It's okay, I smiled trying to play whatever I'm going to tell him in my mind. "I've found a work" I announced waiting for tor his reaction, does he know that I've already quit my job at Mandy's, it was going to hurt him, I know but...that was what I wanted to do  "Wow! it such great news! He raised his glass. " why don't we cheer to it". "Okay, I raised my glass and click. " Wish you all the best in your new job". "You too...probably" he nodded and took a sip of his drink.

We just look like two strangers eating at the dining table, it wasn't the same and everything just broke my heart how can I survive from all this pain, I just want to find a way but no matter how hard I tried the pain was still there and the only thing that would take the pain away was revenge. I escorted him out a few hours later, I made sure to stay the far distance to keep me from brushing shoulders with him but even still the feeling was still there.  "I wish you the best in your new place of work". 

" I appreciate it, thanks so much" I nodded and slipped my hand into my pocket, this way it would heat it and make my finger stop feeling numb, I stopped when I reached his car. "Drive well, I smiled, but my heart was breaking, it feels as if it has been torn apart, this wasn't what I want, I just want to hide away from the world and cry because I was breaking out every single moment I get reminded of all the love and people I'm no more attach with just because of how that monster broke me, he broke my soul, I turned to go, it was the better thing to do no, just leave. 

" Becca, Andrew called, making me stop on the track but without turning, I was going to break out when I see his sad face, I just want to run and hide now, that was the only thing in my mind now but I stopped, I stopped because part of me can't bear to move an afoot was wailing in sorrow. "Are you happy with your new job? Why wash asking, I took a deep breath? "Yes, of course". " I'm happy to know that" I heard the joy in his voice. I waited for him to ask what job it was but nothing came, I guess he thinks it was better off not asking me.

I made a move to leave again "Becca, He called again I stopped this time I turned to face him, his eye was sad, so sad that I feel like reaching out to him and taking out some of the pain but... I laughed at myself, I was equally filled with one. " Can I hug you? My heart stopped for a while. No, I wanted to scream and run away from him but I find myself turning to him "Yes, I nodded, I watched him rush to snd wrapped me in his arms. " I...I couldn't bear it if you refuse me this one thing" his voice broke.

"I'm going to miss you" I just wanted to stay this way with him but the old pain keep coming back, it kept pulling me apart. Tears rolled down from my eyes. "I never want to hurt you, I never wanted that". He tightens his hold around me. " I love you," He said kissing my hair before withdrawing. "I know you never wanted to" I nodded and watched him pull away from me "Bye Becca, I watched him drive away and also watched my heartbreak to pieces, I stood there till I felt raindrops on me but I didn't move I was feeling numb, I was feeling lost and at the same time dead. I let the rain from me maybe it could watch some of my pain away, I let the tears flow down my ears because it seems noticeable in the rain. , I let him leave another part of my happiness I'm not sure I can ever get used to this failure being to bear, I need the unexpected and tell out loud in the rain Inlet my voice yell out in pain " I just want it all to end maybe I'll take and it all me a bad dream. and heartbreak it was too much for any human