Chapter Hundred and ninteen

I heard John's footsteps walking toward me, Just then I felt his palm pat and soothe my pain away. The pain was burning deep down in my heart, the flame keep getting bigger as I remembered how happy Sunny has become with them. I felt like an outsider where my daughter was and if continue seeing them like this, I don't think would survive. Because the burning pain is now much, I tried to breathe but it was now difficult. I tried my best to force myself to breathe but the more I do, the more pain drives through my heart. 

"Becca, I heard my chest tightly fighting my way to breath " Listen to me, just take a deep, breath try it John told me. I looked up to him with my red face and forced muse to take a sharp painful breath. "Then breath out! He ordered and now I held uni him as I exhale sharply. "Follow the process, Becca, take a deep breath and then out". I followed his instruction and found my throbbing heart now slowing down " Thanks, I said trying to catch my breath. He nodded and escorted me back to the living room to lay on the couch "You should rest" "Is not rest John, I can't take the pain again"  "And you have only one option now, you need to heal first before taking the daughter back, you have to win but not like this" He bent down and kissed my forehead "Take your time and don't keep thinking about it" I nodded and watched him leave. 

I allowed tears to slide down from my eyes, I wanted to cry out all the pain I was feeling. I was even too tired to cry, I let my mind think about the good time I have spent with my daughter, I remember how Andrew and I would toss her up and make her laugh, she was everything I wanted and hope for but Sam has fought to take that away and I won't spare him for that. My eyes traveled to the dining table, I couldn't help but remember all the happy memories spend there making more tears roll down my eyes.

 The old times would never come back no matter how much we try to bring it back, I remember the laughter, the fun it all seem endless them would I ever forget the past because everything here reminded me of the peaceful future I had wanted and all I wanted was to forget because I was no more the Becca of the past the only thing I seem now is revenge. 

I stir feeling very uncomfortable as I groan and open my eyes, what time was it. I had fallen asleep on the couch, I yawned and sat up. It was already morning, I had forgotten to shut the cotton last night. I couldn't believe I had fallen asleep on the couch, I had planned to take only a little rest before going upstairs. I stood up and walked toward the kitchen where the bottle of wine I had smashed was still on the floor. I wouldn't have ever tried this if Sunny was still here with me, I wouldn't ever want her to get hurt. I bent down and stare at the broken glass, it reminded me of the sharp pain I had felt yesterday and am still feeling now. I sigh and move my hand to start picking it but the picture flashed through my eyes again.

How Sunny had smiled up to those monsters, how she had cried for Sam and remembering how she told me that Sam said that I stole his money. She has believed that I hadn't done it but how long would she keep believing me if they continue poisoning her mind this way. I was definitely losing my daughter to them but I couldn't just drag her out, she was really happy staying with them. But I can't help the anger I feel anytime I see her with them. No matter how they tried to corrupt her mind against I know the bond I shared with my daughter and that bond would never break. I'll always be there for my daughter whenever she wants me even if I don't stay or be with her every day.

I looked up at the kitchen and the writing in front of three fridges. "I love you mum" Tears slipped down from my eyes and I dried it away and directed my gaze to the rest of the colorful paper on the wall and table "My love for you would never die even if you're away and love the enemy, all I have to do was to show you their true and guard to the right path. I stood up and moved toward the writing and painting, it reminded me of the family I had wanted to build. I lean my head against the wall and tried to figure out what I wanted before running upstairs the change. I had made my decision now and it was for the best.

I changed into a loose shirt and trousers and headed out, I didn't want to think it over afraid that I would change mine. I entered my car and drove off straight to Emily's house, she was the only person I have to know. This was the best, the best thing to do and I hope it was going to work out well. I parked in front of the house not giving myself to think or move back, I got off and hasten my step toward the house, this was it.

 I took a few breaths before pressing the doorbell and waited for her to open, the door pulled open and I breathe again to calm myself " Hi Becca, I looked I find Emily's husband at the door "Hi, I greeted and allowed him to pull me in for a hug "it nice seeing you" "You too" I willed myself to smile "Emily would be happy to see you again, come in he's in the junior room",  "Thanks, I nodded at him going upstairs to break the news to her.

Becca! Emily stood up and jumped on me when I walked in into the room "I'm happy to see you, it looks as if It been ages since you visited". " That's not true you know" I hug her back. "You look tired," I said withdrawing from her arms. "Oh, that my baby has been a real disturbance, he doesn't sleep at night and in the morning you see him sleeping soundly and Innocent as if he did nothing last night", I smiled and look at the sleeping baby. "He looks like you but has his father's hair". " Yeah, that's true and every minute of the day is like I'm falling more In love with him" Emily smiled happily and gazed over his son.

I walked over to the sleeping baby, he was so cute, I watched him stir from his sleep and soak his lips as he sleep. "How will you feel if you someone take away your baby" I turned to see her shocked and pale face  "I feel more than the expression on your face" Tears slipped down from her eyes and she moved toward me and held my hand "Becca, Emily called. " It's okay, you don't have to say anything, let's go down" She nodded linking her hand in mine as we went downstairs "Hey babe", She moved toward her husband to give him a quick peck " We'll be in the kitchen". 

"So what would you drink," she asked me when we got to the kitchen and brought out two bottles of wine "The red or white? " I think the white this time," I said trying my best not to show how heavy my heart was, it feels as if it was going to collapse any minutes, Emily brought out two glasses and poured out the wine, and handed me mine, I drink hoping it would calm what I was feeling inside but it still couldn't. "You look pale Emily said over her drink. " Just tired," I said taking a deep breath to calm myself. "Are you sure? She asked raising her eyebrow at me " You look sleep deprived... Still, I didn't talk "You know you can talk to me about anything, I'm always going to be here for you" "Thanks, I smiled looking at my cousin who was acting more mature. 

"And by the way, Becca, I want you to come to my son baptism"  "Sure" I watched my wine glass and tried to hide my fear, anger, and pain". "I have decided to leave," I said not giving myself a chance to think about it. "Is that what you what? Emily gazed at me in surprise "Yeah, I think that is what I want, I want a fresh start, staying here would only remind me of the things I want to forget, I just need that space and time" I swallowed and sip more of my drink "If that's what you want I would support you in every decision".  "Thanks, now that I have said it, it must feel as if a heavyweight has been lifted from me, this was what I wanted and I'm not going to lose the chance.

"What about Sunny? Emily asked walking over to me. " I think she's going to be happy all I wanted us to be happy and by the time I come back I'm going to take my daughter and maybe by then she would be old enough to choose me her real mother, even though I wanted her to be happy, I can't bear the thought that her source of happiness is from my enemy and after that, I'm going to make this two animal have a taste of bitterness and pain. "Just be careful, are you going to tell Sunny" I nodded, "I'm going to tell her but I would be here to celebrate her birthday with her" tears slipped down from my eyes at the thought that I'll be leaving my daughter.

"I know it is hard for you to leave your daughter here but it is for the best, it just for the time being, you need to go, you need this" Emily hugged me, it was for the best I continued to tell myself, I have to leave to survive, to live for my daughter. "You guys left me out" Emily's husband came to stand by the door "It's just a girl's hug dummy" Emily smiled at her husband. " Oh, I'm hurt" I tried my best to smile but it just felt awkward, I was just dying slowly as John has said every word, Interaction reminded me of the life I had wanted to leave. The pain came back the unbearable pain I can't endure, I clenched my just tightly and tried my best to breathe just the way John bad thought me. 

I can't seem to break down here, I don't want them to pity me, it would just make me rage more. "Becca, are you okay" Emily moved to my side I nodded still feeling the burn in my chest "Yeah, I'm okay"  "Are you sure, you don't look alright". "Here" Emily's husband offered me a glass of juice "Drink it, it will help calm you". " Thanks, I took it from him and drank "I would be leaving now". " Leaving? Emily glared at me. "Why you should stay for lunch and look... I'm not telling you I'm ordering you as your closest cousin". " Always bossy" he smiled and turned to me for approval, I couldn't say anything but smile.

"Now you don't have that much time here... "What did you mean," her husband asked looking at her and then me with a shocked expression. "Umm, I mean" Emily turned to me before looking back at her husband  "Becca, is living this country"  "What! Why? " I think she needs this break and I'm supporting my sister".