Chapter 87

Liliana's pov

"Sweetheart, don't cry." Jackson says sitting beside me on the bed

"I'm not crying" I sniffled wiping away the tears that continued to fall contradicting what I just said.

"Yes, you are." He sighs. "I thought you were happy that Derek decided to take the job." He says. Last night after work Derek made the decision to take the job in D.C. He needed to leave immediately so he packed his bags and went to the airport to catch a flight out right after he made his decision. I was shocked when he called me and told me he was on his way to the airport last night, I mean I knew there was a possibility that he would take the job this time but I thought that if he did make the decision to move to D.C. it would take more then one night. I didn't expect for him to just pick up and leave. I really didn't expect for him to leave at all. I thought he would ultimately decide to stay in Seattle, but obviously I was wrong. Of course last night, when he called me saying that he decided to take the job, I couldn't be selfish and tell him that I really wanted him to stay in Seattle, so I sucked it up, and pretended that I was happy even though I'm not at all.

"It's called pretending, Jackson. I mean what kind of best friend would I be if I tried to get Derek to stay in Seattle when the freaking president of the United States offered him a second opportunity to take a job in D.C.?" I huffed in frustration.

"Lily, it's not like you're never going to see Derek again. I'm sure he's going to come back to visit all of the time, since Mer and the kids are still here, and you two can still facetime and call each other everyday." He says attempting to cheer me up.

"It's not the same. I'm used to seeing him in person everyday. He's my best friend. I always see him at work and when one of us has the day off we always stop by the other ones house before the day ends, and what about when I have a personal emergency at work? Who am I going to page 912 now." I sniffled beginning to cry again. Normally I could keep it together, but pregnancy hormones made my emotions ridiculous and I was so sensitive now.

"You're not going to be alone. You still have me and I'm not going anywhere." He reminds me.

"I know and I appreciate it and I'm so thankful for you, but it's just...I'm really going to miss having Derek around all the time. He's been in my life since I moved to Seattle and I don't know what to do without him around." I sighed sadly.

"I know." He sighs wrapping an arm around me allowing me to lay on his chest.

"I'm sorry for being so emotional. It's just I've never honestly thought about how it would feel for Derek to up and leave. To live somewhere else. I mean everytime either one of us had plans to move in the past, something always happened to stop them, but this time Derek is actually gone. He's in D.C." I said letting those words sink in.

"You don't need to apologize. Your best friend just made the decision to move across country overnight. You're allowed to be sad."

"Thanks for being so understanding"

"I'm your husband. It's my job to be understanding." He smiles

"I guess it's time for me to stop sitting here feeling bad for myself and get ready for work, if we don't want to be late" I sigh looking over at the clock as I stand up.

"Okay, I'll go cook us some breakfast" he says

"You're the best" I smile before going to get ready for work. After I finish getting dressed, I go to the kitchen to eat breakfast, before Jackson and I leave for work.

"So have you figured out the approach you're going to use to operate on Herman's tumor" I ask Amelia as we walk through the hallway.

"No, I'm still working on my approach. I'm actually going to run some more scans today so I can get to know this tumor better" she says

"If you really want a better look at this thing you need to make sure to get 3-D renderings. Then you need to draw up measurements and trajectories. And have you already spoken to her previous doctors and gotten them to send over all of her previous scans and test" I ask

"Liliana, I'm going to handle all of that. I've got this under control" she says

"Of course you do, but I'm here to give you advice if you need it" I say

"I know" she smiles

"Well, I have to go because I have a surgery to do, but once you finish Herman's scans leave a copy of them at the front desk for me so I can look over them" I say before walking away. Even though this isn't my tumor, I have to keep track of every step being taken to remove this thing. This is my department and I'm the one who gave Amelia permission to go near this thing, so if anything goes wrong it reflects badly on me which is why I have to make sure that everything runs smoothly with this surgery. I go get my patient prepped for surgery before taking her to the OR to operate. Even though the surgery I'm doing is tricky it doesn't take an extremely long time to finish. After closing the patient up, I take her to recovery before going to the front desk to grab the scans that Amelia left for me and I take them with me to the attendings lounge so I can look over them as I eat my lunch.

"You got the scans" Amelia says walking into the lounge

"Yes, I did. The tumors progressed" I say as I look over scans.

"Slightly, but not much. I can still remove this thing, but I've run into a problem" she says

"What is it" I ask

"Nicole. She wants to wait until the tumor progresses and starts threatening the optic nerve and heading to the hypothalamus to operate" she says

"What? That plan is not only dangerous, but also really stupid" I frown

"That is exactly what I said, but she is not going to let anyone operate on this tumor right now. She wants to pass on all of surgical knowledge to Arizona before the surgery just in case something goes wrong, so she's stalling the surgery" Amelia explains

"Did you run this idea by Owen" I ask

"Yes. He was apprehensive, of course, but he says if this is what Nicole wants, we can follow her plan" she says

"Well, he's the Chief of Surgery, if he's on board with this so am I, even though I think this is extremely risky" I say

"Believe me I know this is going to be a challenge, but I can still do this" she says

"Okay, well just make sure to keep me updated every step of the way" I say

"I will" she agrees, before leaving. I continue to eat my lunch before leaving to go work on the surgery schedule. Between Derek making the decision to move overnight and Amelia having to focus most of her time on this tumor, the whole surgery and lecture schedule has to be redone. I go to an office to begin working on the schedule and also to review all of the recent outcomes for the department. I actually don't mind dealing mostly with paperwork and scheduling today, I find it kind of relaxing. I always thought I would hate doing all of the paperwork that came with being Chief of Neuro, but I actually really like it. I like being in control over how everything in the department is ran and making sure that everything is going smoothly. As I sit in the office working on everything, I can't help but to think about Derek. I mean I'm so proud of him for this advancement in his career. Working for the white house is big, it's pretty much as high in your career as you can go and I definitely feel like Derek needed this change, so that he could be happy, which he couldn't be as long as he remained in Seattle with his mind full of what ifs. But it's definitely already different not having him around the hospital and knowing that this is the new normal, but I guess I'm just going to have to get used to it. I stay in the office working on scheduling and paperwork for most of the day and once I finish I have a surgery to do. I go get my patient prepped for surgery before taking him to the O.R. to operate. The surgery only takes a couple of hours and once I finish I take the patient to recovery then I go to the locker room to change out of my scrubs, since that was my last surgery of the day. Jackson was also finished with his surgeries, so we leave to go home.

"So how's D.C." I ask Derek as we facetime that night.

"It's nice so far, I mean I haven't really gotten to do to much since I've been here. I've spent most of my time unpacking, but I have a meeting with the president tomorrow" he says

"That's exciting" I say

"It is, you know I still have to make good on that promise I made to introduce you to him" he says

"That you definitely do" I smile "So have you spoken with Meredith, since you made it to D.C." I ask. Derek made the decision to move to D.C. while him and Meredith were in the middle of a heated argument, so I'm really not sure how it's going to effect their relationship, but I hope that they can make it through this

"Yeah, actually I did and I think everything's going to be okay. I'm not sure how exactly we're going to make it through this, but we're willing to work for our marriage and figure it out" he says

"Well I believe in you two. Team merder" I smile

"We have a nickname now" he laughs

"Yeah, I love couple nicknames. They're cute" I laugh

"Well I'll keep that noted" he smiles. "You know I appreciate you supporting me with everything from my marriage to this job in D.C." he says

"You don't have to thank me, we're best friends this is what we do. Even though I'm going to miss having you around all the time, I know that you needed to make this decision for yourself" I say

"You know that we're still going to keep in contact and facetime all of the time, you're not even going to get to miss me" he says

"I'm going to hold you to that" I smile. Even though this was an unexpected change, I know that I'll get used to it and that everything is going to work out for the best.