Arc 1. Chapter 11. Forgetfulness.

The world had remained the same since he had left it a while ago.

The gray valley was covered in light from one side and a strange darkness on the other.

Despite it having been close to nighttime when he had left, it was no morning, mainly for the reason that he had studied the alphabet they used in this strange world.

All of it had been a bunch of lines and bendings, like runes.

As he walked out into the light of what he would guess was a sun of some kind, he felt anxious.

He hadn't had time to ask Cloudia about the children or their reaction to his death if they had even seen it or his remains. Speaking of which, would he be able to see his own corpse?

He hadn't thought through this fully and he was afraid that the children would be intimidated by him.

As he made his way over the gray grass plain, he felt the memories of the previous supposed day flash in the back of his mind.

The thought of getting eaten alive was scary enough, but having it happen to him was even scarier.

He couldn't remember being eaten alive, but he remembered the pain after it.

He hadn't been swallowed no, he had been chewed like chewing gum and his remains had not been beautiful.

He remembered the dreamlike state he had been in and how terrifying it had been to look down at himself only to realize that the body he knew he had existed no more.

He shuddered.

He didn't have to think about it, but while walking over the monotone grass, that was the only thing that came to mind, so instead, he tried to go over what they had continued to discuss when he was still in the library of Clouds.

Cloud had given him a bunch of useful information, then he had told her that he didn't get any of it, then he had said some stupid things about his self-harm with the dagger he had found, and then Cloud had told Cloudia to help Han with the alphabet in that world.

But more topics had come after that because Cloudia had become sleepy after helping Han for hours.

When she told Cloud this, Cloudia had seemingly disappeared into a cloud that quickly disintegrated.

That sight had reminded him of Claude and how she had appeared and disappeared.

Cloud had explained her ability further, telling him that when they disappear, they reunite inside her mind as a part of her personality as a whole.

Han was still really fascinated by her ability and was glad that he had someone to rely on in that world.

The fact that Cloud could literally duplicate herself using only a part of herself was something that made Han really jealous.

Since his only ability was to Eternally Return to a previous and unharmed version of himself.

It seemed cool to have someone like Meno, a talking cat, have precisely the same ability as himself but with the choice of living or dying whenever he was killed.

This made Han wonder what Meno lived for, what it was that made the cat continue to strive after that was so important that not even death could get between him and his goals.

Han felt like their relationship had greatly improved since his first appearance in Cloud's library when they had been much more unserious about stuff that they now took more seriously than ever, even though they were able to goof around a little in between those moments.

Han smiled a little thinking about them.

To him, who was basically stranded in a world he knew nothing of, their roles played a great part in his new life and he would go so far as to say he cared about them.

Han continued walking over the nice plain when he suddenly felt something bouncing against his side, a leather bundle holding a strange black dagger.

The dagger in question looked like a fine knife, suited for battle, and had been used by Han when he stabbed his own shoulder so suddenly before.

He just then realized that it was the knife that he had initially thought about, only that Cloud, Meno, and Cloudia had gotten in the way of those thoughts.

He thought back once again to what Cloud had said about the dagger.

"What you have is a special and unique weapon, Han."

"It is? Then how come there are two of them?"

"That is because there were originally five. All of them represent a certain emotion but all of them can be used, using those emotions."

"What do you mean?"

"Each dagger is specifically made to fit that emotion and using it."

"Continue..?"

"There are five main emotions, fear, anger, happiness, disgust, and sadness."

"Wow! And which one does this dagger represent?!"

"Hard to tell..."

"It isn't happiness, that much I can say ya gray boy!" Meno had laughed.

"And how do you know that?!"

"Because that's what mah dagger represents! Hah!"

So happiness was out of the game.

The only emotions his dagger could represent now were fear, anger, disgust, and sadness, none of which sounded particularly good.

If Han had to choose it would be happiness but since Meno's dagger represented it, he would take none.

"Hard to choose, huh?"

Han looked up.

It was nothing he could do anything about it, so he would just let time flow and see if he would eventually get to know which emotion his dagger represented.

He gazed over the plains.

He was slowly approaching the lonely gray be-leafed tree where the gray children Phil, Finn, Ava, Hank, and Sayora had been playing around.

To his surprise though, the gray children were nowhere to be found, it seemed like they were somewhere else today, maybe staying inside for the time being.

He didn't know the sleep periods for gray children, mainly because the only time he had slept, was when he had been eaten by that dog, Morris.

He stopped, staring at the castle while under the lonely tree.

Looking up, he thought about it.

What if Morris was awake?

The thought scared him so much that he had to lean against the tree.

If that dog ever found him again, what would it do?

How come the dog attacked him in the first place?

Why had it attacked him to begin with, especially while he was asleep?

Had somebody ordered it too?

Or maybe it had gone rogue?

He did not know the answer to a single one of these questions, and as he stared toward the castle, one single question remained.

What would happen if he returned?

Would he be accepted? Maybe not?

Would they trust him?

This was a single question multiplied into more.

How would they react when they saw the supposed dead man arrive at their front door, demanding to be let in so that he could search through their library to find any kind of way to escape the world?

Would they think of him as crazy to want to escape the world?

Would Phil?

Phil who had complained about how depressing the world was, would he turn against Han's actions, possibly trying to stop him?

No, he was overthinking it.

He grabbed his previously hurt shoulder as a way to remember what he was doing, that he was determined to do it.

He wanted them no bad if he knew that it would be useless, right? But if they knew that, maybe they would help him.

What more could you do in a gray world like this one?

He started to wonder if they were ever going to go outside.

He was too scared to go up to the castle and enter, mainly because of what had previously happened to him there.

And even though he bore no scar from that time, he knew, he remembered, he saw it happen, he felt it happen.

He was now sitting against the lonely tree on the empty gray plain.

The tree had but a single branch sticking out of it which he had seen the children use as an obstacle that would determine if the ball had been passed over it or not.

Somehow he could relate to the tree. A lonely tree on a plain of grass, not knowing where its family or friends were, where the forest was, and how to get there when its route was stuck in the ground, making it unable to move.

That tree feared being cut down and that same tree would just regrow if it was, right?

He got up, brushing dirt from his pants as he straightened his back and gazed toward the castle once more.

He would move that tree somehow, one day.

"But for now…"

He stepped forward, walking toward The Castle of Motions once more, a place he feared because he had once died there.

But…

"The tree won't move itself. And if it will, it will be because it wants to."

A wind blew through the tree's be-leafed crown, casting a long shadow over where Han now walked, a shadow stretching toward the castle like its resolve lay in going there.

"..."

Han walked over the gray, grassy plain once more, making his way to his destiny.

"sigh, I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Huh..?"

"What do you mean, 'who am I?'?"

The two were standing opposite of each other on the stone stairs leading up to the castle.

It was Phil who had opened, probably the first one awake which answered the question of why Phil always sounded so tired.

"Don't you, remember me?"

"sigh, unfortunately, I do not remember you, what is your name? sigh."

"H-Han! Don't you remember me, Phil?! Why-?"

But all he got in response was a weirded-out grimace.

Not only did Phil not remember him, but Phil also did not remember giving Han his own name.

"Why don't you… remember me?"