Ch.91

The mines of Moria were soon back in business as it were and under dwarf management at that. The last of the Balrog mess was cleaned up with ease by the dwarves once all the dragons were fed. From there they sort of just moved in and repaired everything. They had a knack for working with stone so I left them to it, bored.

I was in Rivendell when Frodo and the lot had their council meeting. Gandalf insisted they ask me to join the council so there I was at Elrond's request, pulled away from meditation after a couple decades of inaction. When I saw Gimli, I asked. "How's that kid Thorin doing boy?"

He scowled. "I'm no child."

I shrugged. "You're all children to me kid, don't take offense. I'm nearly four billion years old, older than most of the stars in the sky and the earth beneath your feet."

He was a bit shocked before I sat down, bored. Elrond began the council meeting and they asked my opinion on the ring. I held up a hand and the ring floated to me, hovering over my hand. It glowed as I applied magic and frowned. "It's tied to the soul of Sauron. A piece of his soul is held within it and as such he cannot be killed entirely until it is destroyed. It is the darkest magics I've seen in a very long time."

It landed in my hand and I heard the whispers, snorting. "Clever. His soul can whisper to the one who holds it, tempting them to wear it so that he and his followers can find it. In exchange it must be a rush of euphoria to wear it. Still, just a trinket and useless to me."

I flipped it and it landed back on the podium, spinning before landing while I watched Frodo. He seemed greatly effected by it and nearly passed out. Legolas asked. "Can you not destroy it yourself?"

I tilted my head and looked to the ring. "I could, in theory. But the power required to do so would set off earthquakes, mountains would erupt and it'd get messy this close to the misty mountains."

They grimaced and one of the humans wanted to use it against Sauron. I gave him a droll stare. "Kid, let me put it this way, there's no way you can use it without it touching your soul. Wear it too long and Sauron could possess your body, using you as a meat puppet or driving you utterly insane. In no way does that end the way you want it to."

He grimaced looking like Ned Stark which was a surprise to Sansa who told him as much before they could leave. I decided a road trip was in order so I joined the fellowship. It was rather boring until super orcs attacked. Yeah, they were definitely eating their wheaties.

When they were dead, Frodo and Sam the two hobbits had run off while I saved Boromir from death. Pippin and Merry ended up being taken so we gave chase after Boromir was on his feet. I pulled the arrows the Uruks shot into me out and put them away while I healed. Gimli asked about it saying he saw me get shot and I shrugged. "I heal extremely fast to the point where I no longer physically age. I've been burned to ashes in dragon fire and within a few minutes I've regenerated, albeit naked. I can't be killed, at least not permanently or in a way that matters."

We gave chase and caught up to riders of Rohan before Gandalf spoke with the ents and we headed to Rohan. Gandalf freed Rohan's king from Saruman and Wormtongue's magics. Aragorn showed up with grim news of an army of Uruks headed our way. We ended up heading for Helms Deep while Gandalf took off to get backup.

While the men and women of Rohan coward behind the walls of their fortress after a short but exciting trip to it, I smoked a joint and laughed when Legolas said their was no hope in elvish. The people looked to me and I shrugged. "What? He's a funny elf. Really."

Legolas scowled and I told him in elvish that I'd bring the dragons if the armies are so unbeatable that we can't hold the fortress. I grunted, telling him five hundred dragons would tear apart any army. He couldn't argue with that so even Gimli chuckled before poking fun at Legolas. The elves sent an envoy and I took a bow of theirs.

It was good quality, but I much preferred their swords. I mounted repeater ballistas to the walls and dropped a few hundred iron spikes in piles. Aragorn had the warriors load the ballistas and set the rest next to them to be reloaded fast. When the armies came, I stood beside Gimli and Legolas as the orcs roared.

Gimli complained that he couldn't see until he started levitating. He looked around and no one was lifting him so I grunted. "I guess Dwarves can fly huh? Must be when they want it bad enough."

Gimli returned my grunt. "Aye, unlike you tall folk, we aren't as limited."

I nodded sagely. "Best save your thoughts for wanting to float lest you fall off the wall before the battle even begins."

Legolas smiled. "The only Dwarf in history to fly and he falls to his death before the start of a battle."

Gi Li's face went red and an old man shot and killed an Uruk, starting the war. Gimli dropped to his feet and I fired the elvish long bow, fast with a never ending quiver of arrows thanks to my ring being full of orc arrows. The ballistas fired, taking out large swathes of Uruks. When they tried to use ladders having finally reached the walls, I threw an iron spike down the nearest one and tossed the ladder back over, killing a great many Uruks.

I stood on the ledge of the wall and waved a hand, sending all the ladders crashing back down on the Uruks. I left the walls and headed to the pass, jumping over and clearing it alone, holding that section outside the walls and cutting a swathe downwards. The Uruks just kept coming so when Aragorn and Gimli joined me, Gimli said. "Now would be a great time for dragons."

I chuckled. "What's wrong? Getting tired kid?"

He swung his axe and killed to Uruk. "Not today old man. I've just never seen dragons."

I stopped and sent out a blast of magic that knocked the Uruks on their asses. "You've never seen dragons?"

Aragorn smiled. "Truth be told I've never had the pleasure myself either. Dragons are somewhat elusive."

I huffed. "You're both missing out. Poor children need lessons."

I raised a hand and a massive portal open as sound on the battlefield was sucked away with a spell. My whistle preceded a massive roar as hundreds of dragons came through followed by a mountainous black Drogon. The dragons circled the battlefield as sound returned and the portal remained open. "Well if you two have never seen dragons, then you've clearly never ridden one have you?"

I grabbed them ass a smaller portal opened beneath us. We ended up on Drogon's back with Doreah and Sansa to my surprise. They said they'd been riding Drogon because he was lonely when I called. I gave a shout after the other two were strapped in and Drogon dived, barely fitting over the valley as he let loose a wave of fire that rolled over the Uruks, burning them alive in his wake.

Hundreds of thousands died in minutes while a feeding frenzy began. I'd given Gimli the reigns so he had near tears in his eyes as he claimed all the kills, saying let the elf beat that. Drogon landed, squashing a few dead Uruks by Helms Deep before letting us off. He wandered off to eat his share and take the rest back to the baby dragons nesting.

Gimli told Legolas that he'd won their challenge because he used Drogon to burn the Uruks alive. Legolas didn't argue, seeing the massive dragon barely fit in the valley and eating the Uruks in massive bites. By dawn's first light, over half the valley was empty and Drogon was all that was left, taking a massive mouth full of dead Uruks before flying through the portal that closed.

I took a knee as a massive wave of exhaustion ran through me. Aragorn and the others looked concerned while Sansa told them. "It happens when he overuses his power to open doorways between places. He held it open too long and this is the cost. It gets worse the longer they stay open and he's made himself comatose for a year before practicing. Longest year of my life."

Doreah snickered. "Longest year without sex since I met him."

Sansa agreed to that as well while the others just stared dumbfounded. I stood up shakily and asked Gimli. "So how was your first time seeing and riding a dragon kid?"

He grumbled before smiling. "Better than most Dwarves I reckon."

I nodded slowly. "Balin quite liked them when they ate the orcs of Moria and those following the white orc when I first met them. Still, he's never ridden one so do feel free to rub it in his white beard."

Gimli chuckled agreeing and I put away all the burnt and roasted Uruks before greeting Gandalf and the others. The battlefield was clean now because I took everything that wasn't natural. I had to give the elves and humans back their arrows, but besides a few unfortunate souls, no one died.