Chapter 2

Derek watched the bartender fill half the shot glass with the pink alcohol;it winked in the glass like liquid bubble gum.Then the bottle disappeared back beneath the bar and another took its place—Blue Curacao.As the bartender filled the rest of the shot glass,the two colors blurred together to form a deep indigo so dark,it reminded Derek of stormy seas.He stared into the inky depths and a sense of déjàvuwashed over him;in his mind’s eye,he saw waves strike the side of a shuddering sailing sloop,he felt the spray on his cheeks like tears,he heard his voice torn from his throat,Tad’s name shrieked into the howling wind.

The bartender’s voice came from far away,as if he were the dream and the horror of losing his lover was Derek’s burden to relive over and over again.

With a shake of his head,Derek realized he’d missed a question;since Tad’s disappearance,since his death,Derek had found himself dropping out of the world from time to time,and he had to force himself to return to the land of the living.“I’m sorry?”

“I asked your friend’s name,”the barkeep replied.At the confusion on Derek’s face,he prompted,“The person you’re meeting here tonight?”

“Oh,right.”For a moment Derek looked around the bar as if he had never seen the place before in his life.Fear rose in him,an overwhelming sensation of being in the wrong place at the wrong time,as if he had somewhere else he needed to be.Someone he needed to find.

Tad.

Steadying himself,Derek raised the shot glass and threw it back.The alcoholtasted like NyQuil—it rushed down his throat,stealing his breath.“God,”he gasped.When he set the glass back down,the bartender refilled it despite the shake of Derek’s head.“That shit’s lethal.”

“That’s an Undertow.”The bartender’s grin widened,if that were possible.“It grabs you when you least expect it and pulls you under.”

Derek grimaced at the full glass and couldn’t imagine drinking from it again.“I don’t want more.”

The bartender simply told him,“Courtesy of your friend.”

Then he looked across the room and nodded at someone Derek couldn’t see.He turned to follow the glance;in the last booth,along the far wall,a man sat draped in shadow.His face was hidden by the wide brim of a black cowboy hat,and a single red feather bobbed from its band.When the man saw Derek,he raised a shot glass as if proposing a toast.

****

The brief message had been left on Derek’s voicemail three weeks in a row.There was something about the raspy male voice that sounded oddly familiar,like a forgotten song heard years ago.Derek found himself playing the message over and over again in the hopes of jogging his memory,but try as he might,he couldn’t recall where he’d heard that voice before.

“I’ve found what you lost,”the caller said.No greeting,no identification.“Meet me at the Den of Thieves on Saturday,midnight.You’ll get it back.”

Derek ignored the first call.It had to be someone playing games,he told himself,dialing numbers at random and leaving odd messages to fuck with strangers’minds.He stayed in that Saturday,spending the weekend in the same way he spent all others—asleep,dreaming of Tad in an effort to drown the pain of losing him.

The next call came three days later.Same message,same voice.“I’ve found what you lost.”

Derek tried to shrug it off.But the voice haunted him,its message worrisome.What had he lost?He didn’t know—he had his keys,his cell phone,his driver’s license.He spent the next weekend rummaging through theapartment,taking inventory,looking for what might be missing.But how did one look for something that might not be there?All Derek found were Tad’s belongings,boxed away in the bedroom closet,and he spent a heart-wrenching night wrapped in one of Tad’s faded flannel shirts,crying into soft material that still held traces of his lover’s scent.

When the call came a third time,Derek almost caught it.He’d just turned offthe shower when he heard the phone ring.He scrambled from the tub,one hand snagging a towel as he raced from the bathroom,but the moment his hand touched the receiver,the phone’s jangling ring stopped.He waited a full five minutes,toweling himself off right there in the hallway,then picked upthe receiver.The interrupted dial tone told him he had a message,and damned if it wasn’t the same one.“I’ve found what you lost.”

“What.The.Fuck.”

In his frustration,Derek slammed the receiver down three times,punctuating each word.It’d be worth meeting the man if only to stop the calls.

****

Drink in hand,Derek navigated through the crowd to the shadowy far corner.As he approached,he studied the stranger waiting for him,who threw back shot after shot of the horrid blue-black drink the bartender had called an Undertow.The black cowboy hat was pulled low over the stranger’s eyes,but stringy blond hair curled around the brim of the hat,gray-green in this bad light,as if the man had spent too much time in chlorinated water.His skin was sallow,unhealthy looking;what Derek could make of his face looked thin and pinched—a pointed chin,a heavy lower jaw,a wide mouth that split into an easy grin when Derek stopped in front of his table.

The stranger looked up at him,giving Derek a glimpse beneath the hat and,to his surprise,he recognized those red-rimmed eyes.He remembered where he’d heard the caller’s voice before—it had been yearssince he heard it last,when he had been much younger and Tad not yet in his life.The air seemed to rush out of him as he dropped into the seat opposite the man who had been his first friend,his first love,all those years ago.Lingering affection and a hint of nostalgia filled his voice.“Kellen.”

Across from him,Kellen tipped back his hat,allowing Derek to get a good lookat the man who had grown from the boy Derek once knew.The same lines that rimmed Derek’s eyes spidered around Kellen’s;his skin was taut,tight oversharp cheekbones,and pale as if he’d stayed underwater for too long.But his smile warmed his features,and his sea-green eyes sparkled with mirth when he murmured,“Da,Dere.Ichta san chia.”

Without thinking,Derek’s mind translated the ancient language into English.It has been too long.With a sip of his drink,he grimaced,then replied,“I’m known as Derek now.By Mananan,you’re the last person I expected to find waiting for me here.So you’re the one who was calling me?Why didn’t you just say so?”