65. I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away
Thanks for the reviews guys! I hope that you like the chapter. Don't quote me on this, because anything is possible, but I think this story only has about 5 chapters left. But we'll see. Ya'll could talk me into more or less.
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"Sean" Kim said as she stood in shock at the man in front of her.
"Hi Kim" Roman said his eyes casting down to the ground in the shame he felt as he looked at her.
"Oh Hell no" A voice from behind Kim yelled as the footsteps it came from made their way into view.
"You better get the hell out of here, Sean. I swear to God, I'll kill you with my bare hands if you don't leave my line of vision" Venom spat from Adam's voice as he walked towards Sean. He couldn't see anything, he could only see red.
"ADAM!" Kim yelled shoving him back as he tried to walk past her in a fit of rage towards Roman.
"What?!" Adam asked stepping back as he finally focused on his wife.
"Just calm down!" Kim said as she pleaded with Adam. "Go in the other room before you do something stupid"
"Get him out of here, Kim. I'm not joking" Adam narrowed his eyes at his wife. He gave one final look to Roman before shaking his head and walking out of the room to go and check on Jackson.
Kim looked at Adam to make sure he left and then looked back at Roman. "What do you want, Sean?"
Roman looked down at his feet and then at Kim "I um...I didn't know that you were here. I thought that Erin and Jay would be, I mean this is their home, right?"
Kim nodded and looked over her shoulder, "It is. We're staying here a few days until the AC at our apartment complex is fixed. Erin and Jay are in Wisconsin"
Roman nodded and sighed. "I came here because I thought that I could talk Erin and Jay into convincing you to meet up with me, but since they're not here. I was hoping we could talk"
Kim shook her head and looked at Sean "There's nothing to talk about Sean. What's done is done"
Roman took a step towards Kim and she quickly stepped back from him in reaction. Roman's face fell and he took a step back to where he was before.
"I know that I don't deserve you to talk to me, or even listen to what I have to say. I just wanted to apologize to you. I know that doesn't say much. But it's all I can do. I am so very, very sorry Kim. When the stuff happened with you, I was in such a dark place, I'd started drinking a lot. A whole lot. Especially after everything with Andrew dying and the mess with Callie and the gun...I didn't think having a drink here or there to get through all that would do what it did to my life, but I was wrong. I became someone I didn't like. But I drank to forget about not liking who I was becoming, My drinking got out of hand and in turn, I hurt a lot of people..." Roman's voice trailed off.
Kim was silent as she waited for him to continue.
"...I'm sober now, I have been for a year" Roman said holding out a chip in his hand. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I just want you to know that I am sorry, Kim. I'm sorry for all the pain and the hurt that I put you and everyone else through. I wish that I could take all of that back and us go back to being partners, I'd do anything to make that possible. All I can ask is that you'll one day fogive me. Maybe even come to one of my AA meetings" Roman said as he looked at Kim.
Kim still stood in silence. She had always thought about what she'd say if she'd ever see Sean Roman again. She was sure she'd tell him how he never succeeded in the pain that he tried to cause her and the man she loved. And how she'd never forgive him for the things that he'd done to try to destroy her and everything she loved. But somehow she felt pity for the man standing in front of her. It was clear to her that Sean Roman was a man who had been the one to lose everything and somehow, someway she felt sympathy for him.
"Anyway, I just wanted you to know that. I won't bother you anymore. I promise" Sean said as he turned and stepped off of the porch.
Kim watched as Sean stepped off of the porch and started to walk through the grass to his car. She gave a quick glance over her shoulder for her husband before she quickly took off down the porch and through the grass.
"Sean!" Kim quietly called as she caught up with him.
Roman turned around and looked at Kim.
Kim stopped and slowly walked to rest of the way over to Roman. She took a chance to take a breath and she looked up at him. "What nights are your AA meetings?"
Sean smiled and looked at Kim "They're at the The Lincoln Park Alano Club on Saturday nights at 8pm. I'd really love if you could make it"
Kim nodded and took a step away from Sean "I'll think about it"
Roman gave a nod and turned on his foot and walked to his car. Kim stood in the yard and watched him drive off, she turned to head back towards the house and she stopped when she saw Adam standing on the porch holding Jackson.
Kim walked the distance to the house and up onto the porch as she felt her husband's gaze on her.
"What the hell was that about?" Adam asked as he bounced Jackson in his arms.
"It was nothing" Kim assured.
"What did he want?" Adam asked.
"To apologize" Kim explained.
"I hope you told him to go fuck himself" Adam said as Burgess took Jackson from him.
"Adam" Kim said softly.
"You can't be serious? You're actually going to buy this shit? Burgess, I love you but seriously sometimes you're too daft for your own good" Adam explained as followed Kim into the house.
Kim placed a kiss on Jackson's head as the baby boy chewed on his fist and looked around at the lights in the living room. "I just think it's best that the past stays the past. We've moved on. And he has too"
Adam nodded and shut the front door behind him as he walked over to his wife. "Darlin, just promise me that you're going to keep this guy cut out of your life. Whatever line he's trying to feed you isn't going to work, right?"
Kim looked up at Adam and forced a smile. "Of course not. I'm not going to see him again"
"That's my girl" Adam said tilting Kim's head up to kiss her lips and he moved past her to walk into the kitchen.
Kim's smile slowly fell when Adam was out of sight and she bounced Jackson softly before following Adam into the kitchen.
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Jay yawned as he put the Chevy Equinox in park and looked over at Erin. Who had covered her own mouth as she too yawned.
They'd gotten back into the city earlier that morning and had unpacked just in time to come down to the YMCA for a ceremony honoring Antonio and the work he'd done helping at risk youth in the community with boxing classes.
"I think he would've understood if we hadn't come babe" Jay said looking over at his wife.
"Antonio would do it for us. It's only fair that we are here for him. He's done so much for a lot of the kids around here and he deserves the support and the recognition that he's getting and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else tonight" Erin explained as she undid her seatbelt and got out of the car.
Jay followed and stepped around to the backseat and opened the door. He looked at Evie who'd fallen asleep between the fifteen minute drive from the house to the YMCA. Jay unbuckled Evie and pulled her arms through the straps of the car seat as her little eyes fluttered open.
"Hi pumpkin" Jay smiled at Everly as he lifted her from her seat and into his arms. Everly's head fell into Jay's neck as he shut the door.
Jay turned and waited for Erin as she grabbed Evie's diaper bag from the trunk and the two walked into the YMCA.
"Hey Jay, what's up?" Matthew Casey greeted as he tried his best to wrangle Matty Jr. who was running around the lobby of the YMCA, on a clear sugar high from the candy that Cruz somehow didn't remember giving the toddler.
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Matty called as he pulled on Casey's hand pulling him towards the play area outside.
"It's good, man. What's up with you?" Jay asked as he laughed at Matty who was straining with all his small weight to pull his father away.
"Just keeping this one occupied while Gaby helps inside. Probably going to add kill Joe Cruz to the list of things to do tonight" Casey sighed as he pulled Matty into his arms.
"You know it's premeditated now that you've told me" Jay joked as he ran his hand down Everly's back.
"Keep it off the books" Casey joked as Matty squirmed in his arms to get down.
"I'll catch you inside, man" Jay shook his head and walked into the rec room that was hosting the ceremony for Antonio and he found Erin who had found two empty seats at the end of the row.
Jay sat down next to Erin as she pushed Evie's diaper bag under the seat and he adjusted his still half asleep daughter. Everly whined as Jay moved her, her eyes opening to the harsh light of the rec room.
"I know bug" Jay said as Everly raised her head up off of Jay's shoulder. Erin reached for Everly and pulled her on her lap so she could fix the pink bow that was coming loose from Evie's dark hair.
It didn't take Evie long to spot him, she squealed with delight when she turned her head and saw him walking in.
"Papaw!" Everly called as she watched Hank wave at her and take a seat on the other end of the row with Olivia and Noah.
"Papaw!" Everly called again as she struggled to get out of Erin's lap.
"Hold on a minute" Erin said as she adjusted Everly in her lap and quickly clipped the bow back into Evie's hair and let the baby slide off her lap.
"Papaw" Everly said as she started to make her way down the row of people to her grandpa.
Hank smiled as Everly walked over to him, holding her arms up to him.
"Papaw" Everly greeted as she finally made her way over to Hank.
"Hi pumpkin" Hank smiled and lifted Everly up and onto his lap.
"Hi" Everly smiled and turned to sit on Hank's lap.
"Papaw missed you" Hank said against Everly's head as he kissed it.
"Miss Oooo" Everly sighed as she leaned back against Hank.
Hank smiled and rocked in his seat as he looked over at Erin who stood up and walked around the back of the Rec room to bring him Everly's blanket.
Hank took the blanket from Erin and draped it over Everly. "Did you have a good time, kid?"
Erin nodded and looked over at Jay who was talking to Olinsky. "Yeah, it was good. I'm glad to be home though, I'm ready to get back to work tomorrow"
Hank nodded and looked down at Evie who was starting to nod off in his arms. "I take it she had a good time as well?"
Erin sighed and shook her head "If you don't count the teething, then yeah, she had a good time. You never know, after the twins come Jay and I just might pack up and move there"
"What?" Hank asked his gaze shooting over to Erin as if she'd just said the dumbest thing a person could possibly say.
Erin shrugged her shoulders, "You never know what will happen with three kids under three. Maybe a change of location would be good"
"For who exactly?" Hank asked as he tried to control his temper.
"For everyone" Erin explained.
"So you're just going to take my grandkids away from me?" Hank asked "Don't you think that's pretty selfish?"
Erin's head tilted to the side and she raised an eyebrow as she looked at Hank. "It was a joke. We're not going anywhere, Hank."
Hank shook his head and sighed at the relief that washed over him. "Funny. Why don't you go sit back down with that guy you like to call your husband"
Erin rolled her eyes and moved back to her seat as the ceremony for Antonio started.
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One Week Later
Kim stood in front of The Lincoln Park Alano Club and she bit her lip as she debated on going in the building or not. She had already lied to Adam about where she wa s going. Telling him she was going to help Trudy with some last minute wedding stuff, leaving Adam home at the apartment with Jackson.
"Hi Burgess" a voice from behind her said and she turned and came face to face with Roman.
"Hey Sean..." Kim's voice trailed off as she looked at him.
"Thanks for coming. I'm really glad that you could be here. It means a lot to me" Roman explained.
"I'm here, but I don't know if I'm staying" Kim looked away from Roman and over to the building.
"Well, I mean you're already here. What's the worst that could happen if you come in?" Roman asked.
Kim thought about what Roman said. Hell, she'd already lied to Adam about where she was. So she may as well go in and hear what Sean had to say.
"I don't know how long I'm going to stay" Kim said following Roman into the meeting.
"You can stay as long as you want. I just appreciate you coming. Feels like my life is finally going back in the right direction. I've been working really hard on getting my badge back" Roman explained as he and Kim walked down the hall of the building.
Kim stopped mid step as she looked at Roman. "You're coming back to 21?"
Roman shook his head "I doubt they'd let me come back to the 21st considering everything that happened...but as long as I can get my life back together, than I'll be thankful where ever they decide to put me"
Kim looked around the hallway and then back at Roman before she spoke. "Do you really think you deserve to have your badge back?"
Roman sighed as he looked at Kim "I don't see why I wouldn't. You seem to be forgetting that the judge dismissed the case against me and your husband has his badge back, so I think it's only fair that I have the chance. I mean, don't you?"
Kim didn't understand this power that Roman had over her. Somehow he always had the power to make her feel guilty. "I guess you're right. I'm sorry"
Roman nodded and looked at Kim "I'm not lying to you when I say that things are different for me Kim. I really do mean it. Going to rehab was the best thing that could've happened to me. It's given me a new life and I'm going to prove to you that I'm the man you used to work with"
Kim watched as Roman walked passed her and into the meeting room.
"We'll see" She said to herself as she took a breath and followed Roman into the room.
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Jay walked into Hank's house as he followed Erin who slowly walked over to the couch and sat down.
"I really think you need to go and get checked out Erin" Jay said.
"I'm fine" Erin assured. "I'm just sore. I called Dr. Backus and she said if I had any problems to call her and she'd meet me at the hospital"
"But Erin..." Jay started.
"Jay!" Erin interrupted "I'm fine"
Jay sighed as he walked out of the living room and into the kitchen where Hank was with Everly and Noah. "Can you talk some sense into her when I go back to the district?"
Hank looked out at the living room at Erin who laid back against the couch.
A bust had gone wrong earlier in the day and Erin had taken a hard fall when a perp had charged into her knocking her onto the concrete floor of the warehouse. She'd assured Jay and everyone else that she was fine, That it had only knocked the wind out of her. And insisted that she didn't need to be seen by a doctor. Jay however was adament that his wife needed to be looked at and was hoping that he'd get his pseudo father in law to agree with him.
"I'll keep an eye on her, Jay" Hank assured. "If she doesn't want to go, we can't make her go. She knows how she feels and you know Erin, if she thought something was wrong with the twins she'd go get looked at"
Jay sighed as he looked back in the living room at his wife before looking back at his watch. "I gotta get back to the district. If anything happens...You. Call. Me"
Hank looked up from his beer and over at Jay "I hear you, Halstead. Go get your paperwork done. If you come by here to stay after work, don't wake me up"
Jay shook his head and leaned down to kiss Everly bye before he walked into the living room.
Erin winced as she reached for the blanket on the back of the couch and she groaned in defeat when Jay took it from her and draped it over her legs.
"Promise me you're ok" Jay said as he took a seat on the edge of the couch and looked at his wife.
"I'm ok" Erin assured.
"Maybe we should talk about you going on desk..." Jay started.
"Don't even THINK about finishing that sentence. I'm fine Jay" Erin assured "I don't need to be on desk duty. It was a fall. I'm fine. I'm just sore"
Jay nodded in defeat and he stood up from the couch and grabbed his keys from his jean pocket. "I'll be home late. Get some rest"
Erin nodded as Jay leaned down to kiss her "I will. Be careful, I love you"
"I love you too" Jay said before he gave her one last look and walked out the door.
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Jay walked into Chicago Med and looked around the room for his target. He looked down at the silver band on his ring finger and reminded himself that he was doing this for the woman he loved. And as much as he hated to admit it, she was right. Things needed to be fixed and Jay was going to have to be the one to fix them.
"Hey" Jay said as he walked over to the desk "Is Will around anywhere?"
"He's with a patient. He'll be out soon" Maggie explained not looking up from her computer.
"Well, could you let him know that his brother is looking for him?" Jay asked as he looked at the charge nurse.
"I'll make sure I tell him. If you want to have a seat detective" Maggie gestured towards the group of chairs against the wall and Jay sighed as he walked over to them and sat down.
He'd been waiting for about ten minutes when he saw Will walk up and over to the desk. He watched as Maggie and Will exchanged a few words and Maggie gestured over to him.
Will nodded his head and walked over to Jay and Jay stood as Will walked over to him.
"Hey" Will said.
"Hey" Jay replied.
"Everything ok?" Will asked.
"Yeah...No...Actually, I was wondering if you'd want to meet up and talk" Jay asked.
Will's look of surprise must've matched Jay's look of hesitance. "When?"
Jay shrugged his shoulders "Anytime that's good for you. No pressure"
Will looked down at his watch and then at Jay "I'm about to head to lunch if you want to go talk now"
Jay sighed and looked at his brother "I've got to get back to work. But we can meet up at Molly's for a beer. What day are you off?"
"Tuesday" Will said "If you'd want to meet up then"
Jay nodded "Tuesday works for me"
Will watched as Jay started to walk away "Hey Jay!"
Jay turned around and looked at his brother "Yeah?"
"Thank you" Will said a genuine smile on his face. "For what it's worth, I miss my brother"
Jay looked at Will and nodded "It's worth something. We'll see what that is" Jay said before he turned around and walked out the doors.
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Erin watched as Evie followed Noah around the living room as they played. She looked towards the kitchen at Olivia and Hank who were sitting at the table having a drink and Hank was telling Olivia about the case he handled today.
"Ev Ev. You hold dis" Noah said as he handed Everly a Handy Manny tool.
"Tank ooo" Everly said as Noah handed her the tool.
The sound of a dog barking caused Noah and Evie to stop what they were doing.
"Dat?" Everly asked as she looked towards the window. An uneasy look on her face.
"It's a woof" Noah said as he walked to the window. "Come Ev Ev"
Everly shook her head and walked back towards the couch where Erin was. Searching for the comfort of her mother.
"Mommy" Evie whined as she walked over to Erin and held her arms up.
"It's OK, bug" Erin soothed "It's just a doggy"
"Kaney?" Evie asked as she looked towards the window.
"No" Erin said "Kane's at home. But it's probably one of his friends"
Everly laid her head on Erin's shoulder and sighed. Erin smiled and placed a kiss on Evie's head "Mommy's sleepy girl. You ready for bed?"
Everly shook her head "No...No"
Erin laughed and stood from the couch lifting Everly up as she went. She winced at the pain in her abdomen and ribs and took a breath as she told Hank and Olivia goodnight and carried Everly up the stairs.
Once Erin got Everly settled in bed she grabbed her pajamas and headed towards the bathroom hoping that the hot water would soothe her aching muscles.
Erin stripped down and turned the water on and waited for it to heat up as she checked her small frame in the mirror and she sighed at the bruises that were starting to form on her arms and side where she'd hit the ground so hard.
She tested the water and slipped in the shower and started to rinse off. She stood with her eyes closed under the hot stream of water and she opened her eyes when she felt a slight flutter in her abdomen. Erin smiled as she placed her hand on the tiny swell of her abdomen.
Her smile slowly fell as she ran the loofah in her hands over her body to soap herself up. She pulled the loofah she'd been using up to rinse the suds off and she felt her heart drop when saw a few drops of red on the sponge. Erin dropped the loofah from her hands and she looked down at the ceramic floor of the tub at the red drops that slid down her thighs before mixing with the hot water and circling down the drain.
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