webnovel

51. These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes

Sorry for the delay. Good news is I'm done teaching for the summer which should make updates closer together now. Bad news...that Chicago PD finale. Ugh, my heart...My broken Linstead heart. Hope you guys like this chapter.

000000000000000

Jay walked into the bar after going through their yearly Sexual Harassment course. He took his jacket off and walked towards the woman at the end of the bar.

"Can I help you?" Bunny asked turning to come face to face with her son in law.

"Yeah" Jay said looking down at the floor and then narrowing his eyes as he looked at Bunny. "Yeah, we need to have a chat"

"About?" Bunny asked looking at her son in law.

Jay shook his head and laughed to himself. "I think you know damn well what I'm talking about"

Bunny leaned forward on the counter and shook her head. "Nope...Can't say I do"

Jay slammed his hand down on the counter and pulled his hand back revealing the empty pill bag from under his hand.

"This" Jay said looking down at the small bag that had once held cocaine. "Is what I'm talking about"

Bunny looked down at the bag and at Jay. "I think that's between me and my daughter"

"The hell it is" Jay spat.

"Really? I think that I know what's best for Er..." Bunny started.

"You don't know what's best for Erin. Don't you dare stand there and give me that shit. You don't know ANYTHING about my wife" Jay shot.

"I know a lot more about her than what you think. My baby girl is grieving. She needs me. She needs someone who understands. She came to me on her own" Bunny said.

"So your first reaction when your own daughter comes to you crying and seeking help is to not stand up and be a fucking mother for once in your life, it's to fill her full of alcohol and drugs?" Jay shook his head in disbelief.

"I just poured her a drink. I didn't give her the drugs" Bunny explained. "She needed to relax. She's so tense"

"So instead of listening to her, you just pour alcohol down her throat? Why can't you just be a mother for once in your pathetic life?"

Bunny narrowed her eyes at Jay. "I am a mother. And I'm a damn good one"

In spite of everything Jay found himself laughing as he looked at Bunny. "A good mother? This is the last time I'm ever going to tell you. Stay away from my wife. And just so I don't have to say it again, stay away from my daughter"

Jay started towards the door when he heard Bunny from behind him.

"You can't keep me away from Everly. I have grandparents rights" Bunny explained. "Yeah, didn't think I knew about those did you? My attorney friend says I have rights to see Everly"

Jay turned on his foot and said "To have grandparents rights, you'd actually have to be a grandmother, Bunny. What do you even know about my daughter?"

"I know enough" Bunny said as Jay walked towards her.

"Is that so?" Jay asked as he walked towards his mother in law. "What color is the blanket Everly can't sleep without? What's her nursery theme? What color are her eyes? Do you know that she has dimples like her mother? Do you know that she has a single tooth and loves puppies? No. Because to know those things you'd have to know my daughter. And you don't know my daughter and you never will if I can help it"

Bunny shook her head "Hank Voight isn't her blood. He's not her grandfather"

Before Jay even knew what he was doing the small rolling wine cart next to him was knocked over and the sound of bottles and glass shattering filled the almost empty bar.

"Not her grandfather? So you're going to stand there and tell me that Hank Voight wasn't the one who visited YOUR daughter when she was in labor? He wasn't the one who went and got her ice chips because she wasn't allowed to have anything to eat? Hank wasn't the one who took us in when our lease was up? He wasn't the one who sat up and rocked Everly all night in the hospital so that Erin and I could get some sleep when she had RSV? I guess he's also not the one that Everly cries after when he goes home after Sunday dinners. You're right Bunny, Hank's not Everly's blood. Because if he was Everly's blood, that would make him you. I'm warning you, stay away from my wife, and if I EVER find out you gave her drugs again, not even Cadaver Dogs will be able to find you"

Jay gave Bunny one last look and stepped away from her before walking out the door and into the night.

000000000000000

Kim laid on the examination table waiting for the doctor to enter. Her hand was resting possessively across her stomach as she studied the ceiling, noting that it needed to be painted. She was counting the spots that needed painting. It was kind of like counting stars in the sky, only different. She was trying desperately to think of anything except the possibility that she might be pregnant.

She was so conflicted. She was terrified of being pregnant. It was so unexpected. She and Ruzek hadn't planned this. They had decided to wait until they were married a few years and Kim became a established in her career before they had children. Voight had already approached her about a full time position upstairs and Kim was seriously considering taking it. But now, with a baby, what was she going to do? If she calculated correctly by starting from the first day of her last period, Kim figured she was almost six weeks pregnant. That would make the baby due sometime at the beginning of next year. She closed her eyes and listened to the soft music that floated out of the speaker hanging in the corner of the room.

She smiled softly. Aside from being terrified of being pregnant,for all that it meant for she and Ruzek, she was more excited than anything else. She and Ruzek had created a child.

Kim knew it. The doctor hadn't even examined her but she knew in her heart it was true.

The terror gripped her heart again as she heard the door open and the doctor walk in. This was the moment of truth. This was the moment the doctor would tell her if her body was actually going to let her have this baby.

The doctor stepped into the room and smiled as he approached her.

"Hello Kim, I'm Dr. Anderson."

He held his hand out to Kim and she shook it. "Hi."

He was an older man and reminded her of Chief Webber from Grey's Anatomy.

"So, you think you're pregnant. Why don't you tell me why you think that?" He sat across from Kim on a stool as he wrote on a clipboard.

"Well," Kim began. "I haven't been feeling well, vomiting, fatigue, breast tenderness and I took a home pregnancy test last night and it was positive."

The doctor nodded as he read over the paperwork in her chart. "How far along do you think you are?"

"Well going by the date of my last period, I should be almost six weeks."

The doctor nodded again and looked up at Kim and smiled. She liked him. He was very professional and to the point but he also seemed very warm and caring.

He placed the chart on the counter and turned back to Kim.

"So, let's start by drawing some blood and the nurse can run the tests while I'm examining you. I'm going to test your HCG levels as well as run the pregnancy test. Although, we don't usually see a need to perform an ultrasound until at least eight weeks, I'm going to do one today even if your HCG levels are within normal range. There won't be much to see as yet, but I can at least confirm that the egg has dropped into the uterus and is not still sitting in your tube."

"Okay," Kim said over the lump in her throat. She wished for a minute that she had asked Erin to come in with her because she wasn't sure if she would be able to handle it alone if it came back that her pregnancy was ectopic.

Dr. Anderson saw the fear in her eyes and reached out to squeeze her hand. "Don't start to worry just yet. I'll send in the nurse to draw your blood and I'll be back in a few minutes. Once the nurse is finished, please lay back on the table."

Kim nodded as the doctor grabbed her chart and walked out. She breathed deeply, trying to calm her nerves. "There's nothing to worry about." She murmured softly to herself.

Dr. Anderson walked into the examination room again. Kim was laying flat on her back beneath the thin sheet.

"Hello again Kim. It should only take a few minutes for the test results. In the meantime, I'm going to examine you and I have a few more questions, okay?"

Kim nodded her head as the doctor lowered the sheet and began examining her breasts.

"Please raise your right arm over your head."

Kim complied as he continued speaking. "I noticed on your chart that there was a history of breast cancer in the family?"

Kim nodded affirmatively. "Yes. My mother had breast cancer when I was thirteen."

Dr. Anderson completed his exam of her right breast and moved to her left. "Okay, you can lower your arm. Please raise your left hand above your head. Do you examine your breasts regularly?"

"Yes, I do it once a month religiously."

"Have you ever found any lumps?" The doctor asked as he completed his exam of her left breast and then lowered the sheet so he could press lightly on her stomach.

"No, never." Kim replied as she watched the doctor's movements across her abdomen.

"Well that's good. Your breasts are swollen but seem very healthy. Swelling is one sign of pregnancy but not a guarantee. Does anything I'm doing hurt you?"

"No," Kim shook her head as he smiled at her, completing his external exam and raising the sheet back over her.

There was a soft knock at the door and Dr. Anderson walked over and opened it. A nurse handed him Kim's chart and he closed the door, intently reading her test results.

Kim felt her mouth go dry and she felt panic rise in her chest. Why was he being so quiet? What was taking him so long to read? Finally after what seemed like hours, he looked up at Kim and smiled.

"Well Kim, congratulations. You're pregnant. And by the look of these numbers, your HCG levels are well within normal range."

A soft cry escaped Kim's lips and her eyes welled with tears as relief flooded her entire body. She brought her hands up to her face and sobbed softly, the words "thank you" slipped faintly from her lips over and over again.

Dr. Anderson reached for a tissue and handed it to Kim as he remained silent, letting her adjust to the news. After a few minutes Kim smiled tremulously.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I guess I was more scared than I thought."

"It's quite all right Kim. It's completely normal to have extreme reactions when you're pregnant. Your hormones are all out of whack, but in a good way. And especially considering your history, it's even more understandable that you are feeling extreme relief right now."

He moved to the end of the table and lifted the sheet again as he helped her to rest her feel gently in the stirrups.

"Now, I'm going to finish your exam and then we'll do the ultrasound. Even though your HCG levels are normal, I still want to see for myself that the embryo had implanted itself it your uterus. I'll check today for confirmation and then I want you to come back in two weeks for another ultrasound. The next two weeks are rapid growth weeks for the fetus and we should be able to hear the heartbeat at that time."

Kim smiled softly at him, letting the knowledge that she and Ruzek created a child sink in and surround her.

"Now, Kim, you seem to be very healthy and there should be no reason for you to not have a completely healthy pregnancy but keep in mind, you are still in the early stages."

The doctor completed his internal exam and lowered the sheet as he moved to the sink to remove his gloves and wash his hands. "It's imperative that you get lots of rest. I'm going to start you on some prenatal vitamins and I want you to come back next week again for another blood test."

"Why? If everything looks fine and I'm healthy why do I need to come back for more tests?" Kim asked, the panic rising in her voice as she sat up.

"Kim, please don't be alarmed. It is just a precaution because of your history. Once I confirm that the embryo is implanted in the uterus, there is no chance of an ectopic pregnancy, but again as a precaution I want to watch your levels closely for any signs of stress."

Kim tried to calm her frazzled nerves as Dr. Anderson started writing in her chart.

"All right let me get the ultra sound and we'll make sure this baby is safely tucked into your uterus."

The doctor exited the room and Kim closed her eyes again as she gently placed her hands over her stomach.

000000000000000

Later That Night

"Give me my present, Darlin." Ruzek mumbled as his tongue snuck between his lips and circled the delicate rim of Kim's ear.

Kim pulled away from him, her eyes twinkling and she turned and leaned over the side of the bed. Ruzek watched her admiringly and he reached out a hand and ran it softly down her back..

His need to touch her was like an addiction to him. Kim shivered slightly from his gentle touch as she leaned back up, rolling over to face him again, a one foot by one foot box wrapped only in ribbon in her hands.

She smiled as she handed it to him and Ruzek thought he had never seen her more excited than she was at that moment.

"Open it," She whispered as her eyes began to tear but she blinked them back, not wanting Adam to see them just yet.

Ruzek looked at her and he saw something in her eyes that took his breath away. He reached up and caressed her cheek gently as he excitedly pulled the ribbon.

Kim watched him intently as he lifted off the top of the box.

Nestled in a bed of tissue paper was a framed charcoal drawing. Ruzek lifted the picture and placed the box on the floor beside the bed.

He smiled softly as he looked up at her, seeing her eyes welling. He looked back at the drawing again and studied it.

It was a drawing of him, laying on a couch bare-chested with an infant resting gently against his heart. His gaze was on the baby and his fingers were smoothing the soft tendrils of hair on the baby's head.

The baby's face was blurry but his face was clear as day and the smile that graced his face was one of pure bliss.

He looked up at her again and saw that tears were streaming down her cheeks and he panicked for a minute thinking that she thought his silence meant that he didn't like it.

Suddenly as if lighting had struck him, his eyes widened. He looked back at the picture and then back at her face. She was smiling tremulously at him and he felt the loss of his ability to speak.

Was she telling him what he thought she was telling him?

He swallowed hard and looked down at her tank top covered stomach, his hand instinctively reaching out to touch it softly.

Kim's hand covered his as she waited for him to speak. She was terrified beyond belief at that moment. She was trying to read his face but the myriad of emotions crossing it were changing so rapidly that she couldn't tell if he was happy or not.

Ruzek continued to look at her stomach, his fingers gently caressing her skin then his eyes swept back and forth between the picture and her body.

He felt tears welling in his eyes as he struggled to form the words he wanted to say to her.

Her soft voice brought him out of his daze.

"I know we didn't plan this Adam, but please tell me you're happy." Her voice cracked with emotion and fear as he looked up at her again, horrified at what he heard in her voice.

Her eyes implored him to tell her what he was feeling and he did the only thing he could do at that moment.

He removed their entwined hands from her belly and leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her soft skin.

A soft cry escaped her lips and he leaned up, tears in his eyes, and pressed his lips against her gently. Kim opened her mouth under his, her breath shallow as he murmured against her lips.

"You have made me the happiest man alive Darlin."

Kim threw her arms around his neck as she sobbed softly. Ruzek gently placed the framed drawing on the bed beside her and gathered her into his arms as he deepened the kiss.

Ruzek held her against him, his body trembling with the emotions he was feeling. They were going to have a baby. He and Kim had made a baby and it was growing inside her body.

He felt like his brain was on overload. And so was his body. Feeling her pressed against him, knowing that inside her body their baby was growing. It was all too much.

The tears slipped unashamedly down his cheeks and mingled with hers. They continued to kiss softly as Kim murmured, "I love you", over and over into his mouth.

000000000000000

September

Erin yawned and rolled over in bed. She opened her eyes when she came in contact with a warm body beside her. She smiled as Jay grumbled something in his sleep and unknowingly brought his hand to her breast. Erin raised an eyebrow and grinned to herself as she slid slowly down his relaxed body. She rarely ever woke to her husband still in their bed, she was damn well going to take advantage of it. Especially on today of all days. Their one year anniversary.

Erin's skilled hands deftly slid Jay's boxers down and off his legs and she eyed his morning erection hungrily before licking his length. He let out a gentle sigh and began to stir and she stopped quickly, stifling her giggles as he settled down, still in a deep sleep. She wrapped her lips around the tip of his cock and slid her mouth down, her fist grasping the base as she massaged him with her tongue. Jay stirred again and Erin fought to remain silent as she waited for him to settle again. Reaching into her nightstand she removed a foil package and tore it open with her teeth, sliding the condom over her husbands rigid cock. Her own need driving her on she gently raised herself over his body and eased herself down on his erection, trying not to wake him. She grinned wickedly and unbuttoned the shirt of Jay's she had worn to bed, exposing her pert breasts to the air. Leaving the shirt dangling open on her body, she began to move, gently, ignoring the urge to make the fire in her belly cease.

Her orgasm neared and she moaned as she quickened her pace. Jay moaned as they came together, blinking his eyes open in confusion. Erin brushed the hair from her eyes and grinned down at her astounded husband. "Good morning," she said in a sing song voice, leaning down to kiss him.

"No shit it's a good morning," he returned, still in awe of her actions. "I've never woken up to that before."

"Are you complaining?" she toyed with him as he fiddled with the open flaps of the shirt hanging from her body.

"Hell no," he stated emphatically as she slid off of him and lay down on her side. He rolled to face her and they smiled at one another lovingly. "In fact, I've had a dream similar to this before"

"Oh?" Erin asked raising an eyebrow to her husband.

"Yeah. Wasn't you though. So...I guess this is awkward" Jay sighed and ran his hands up Erin's bare sides.

"Funny. Do you know what today is?" Erin asked placing her hands on the pillow on either side of Jay's head.

"Sunday?" Jay asked looking up at his wife.

"And?" Erin asked leaning down to nuzzle her nose against Jay's.

"Spaghetti night" Jay teased as he heard Erin sigh and pull away from him.

Jay qickly grabbed Erin's hips to keep her from moving. "Could it also be our anniversary?"

Erin looked down at Jah and bit her lip "Nice save"

"I do what I can" Jay said with a smile as he pulled his wife down to him.

"I miss this," she sighed, reaching out to caress his morning stubble.

"Miss what?" he smiled, already knowing the answer.

"I miss waking up beside you, I miss laying here waiting for you to wake up, I miss watching you sleep, I miss making love in the morning, I miss everything we used to take for granted."

He smiled softly and leaned over to kiss her. "I miss it too. If there was any way in the world I could rearrange work and Everly's schedule I would do it. Unfortunately, this is what happens when we hit the real world."

Erin sighed and snuggled closer to Jay's body. "I know, I wouldn't change anything about our lives now. I just wish we had a little more time together."

"Me too," he caressed her back tenderly. "The good thing about our lack of time together is that we really appreciate the time we do have. Which is exactly what we are going to do today." Erin looked at him curiously.

"You and I are going to go downstairs, pack a lunch, get the baby dressed and after church we're going to go to the park for a picnic." Erin grinned at him and rested her head on his chest. "We'll spend the whole day doing whatever you want to do."

"Just the three of us?" she asked softly.

"Just the three of us," he agreed, placing a gentle kiss in her tousled hair as she sighed happily in his arms.

000000000000000

Erin lay contentedly on her side, her head resting lazily on her arm as she watched Jay and Evie play. Everly, now seven months old was crawling madly, she was racing across the grass on her hands and knees, occasionally stopping to pick at a flower or a bug. Jay called her name in a sing song voice and the baby squealed and took off like a shot. Erin grinned widely at her family and rolled onto her back, closing her eyes for a moment. She heard Jay growl and Everly laugh and a minute later Everly was pounding her stomach.

"Don't hurt your Mama," Jay grinned, flicking the baby's nose gently. Everly laughed and moved up Erin's body.

"Hey Sweet Pea," Erin lifted her head up. "Are you having fun with Daddy?"

"Dadadadadada," Everly muttered happily as she picked at Erin's tanktop.

"Really?" Erin played along, sitting up, the baby in her lap. Everly looked at her with wide eyes and made a grand gesture with her hands before continuing to babble to her mother.

"That's unbelievable," Erin continued, seriously, taking her daughter's hands in her own.

Jay eyed the girls, grinning, as he leaned down and kissed Erin's head tenderly. "I hate to break up the girly moment but I smell something funky," he made a disgusted noise for Everly's benefit and scooped her up off Erin.

"What did you put in your diaper, huh little girl?" Everly squeaked and wriggled, trying to get out of her father's grasp.

"No you don't, kiddo," he adjusted his hold on her. "We've got to clean you up. Stop wiggling and let Daddy change your pants."

Erin moved to her knees and removed the changing supplies from the diaper bag, handing them to Jay. She laughed at the faces he made, trying to keep the baby from wriggling and disposed of the dirty diaper when Everly was cleaned. Sighing happily she returned to the blanket and plopped herself down beside her husband and fussing daughter.

"You want juice?" Jay asked softly, pulling Everly's bottle from the bag as she buried her face in the blanket, whining unhappily.

"Come on Evie," Erin sighed, rubbing the baby's back comfortingly. "Daddy's got your juice. Roll over for Mommy." Everly sighed and rolled onto her side, holding a pudgy fist out for her bottle. Taking it from Jay she plopped it into her mouth and closed her eyes.

"Poor tired baby," Jay whispered, running his fingers through her dark hair.

Erin smiled at their interactions, something she had made a habit of, and leaned over the baby's dozing form to kiss his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too," he grinned, returning her kiss. Pulling away he gazed at Erin lovingly. "I am the luckiest man alive."

Erin raised an eyebrow and lay down gently beside Everly.

"Why is that?" she asked, curiously, pulling a light blanket over the baby's bare legs.

"I have the most beautiful, incredible wife in the whole world, and my daughter is brilliant and perfect in every way."

"Well, Everly and I are pretty lucky ourselves," she smiled, reaching out a hand to caress his cheek. Jay smiled lightly and lay down on the other side of their daughter.

"Why don't we all have a little nap?" he yawned, placing an arm protectively over the baby's middle. She sighed and snuggled into Jay's stomach.

"As wonderful as that sounds, I need to keep my eyes on her," she gestured down to the baby. "Why don't you close your eyes for a while, let me finish my book?" Jay yawned again and nodded his head silently. Rolling onto his back, he gently lifted Everly and placed her on his stomach, rubbing gentle circles on her back.

Erin chuckled to herself as she heard Jay's soft snoring and picked up her tattered copy of "Winter's Bone", the book Camille had given her when she was younger. Telling Erin how much the strength of the character character of Ree reminded her of Erin.

"Excuse me" an young woman stood at the bottom of their blanket smiling down at Erin."You wouldn't happen to know where I could find apartment listings would you? I'm new to the area and I need to find a place quickly."

Erin placed her book down on the blanket and stood up, looking down at the slightly shorter woman. "Did you just move here?" Erin asked, trying to recall any information that would help the girl.

"No. I mean, I've been here for awhile. I work at the hospital. I'm just from the other side of the city"

"I see" Erin smiled politely.

Suddenly an idea came into her head and she turned and dug around in Evie's diaper bag, pulling out a pen and a piece of paper. "I know someone who has an empty room just waiting to be filled. His name is Kevin Atwater, he is a police officer, I'll give you his number if you're interested. I know he's dying to have some company other than us all the time and his house is right on the waterfront."

April smiled sweetly and took Erin's hand. "Thank you, that sounds great. My name is April, by the way."

"Erin," she replied, shaking the woman's hand gently. "It was no trouble at all."

April sighed and looked down at Erin's blanket. "Looks like they've tired each other out."

"They do it all the time, you think they'd learn not to play each other so hard."

April laughed and patted Erin's hand. "Your daughter is beautiful."

"Think you," Erin beamed, looking down at the baby, sucking her thumb contentedly.

"Your boyfriend's pretty hot too." Erin looked, stunned at April who began to chuckle softly. "Sorry if that's over the line."

"He's my husband actually, and I think he's hot too," she whispered, leaning closer to April.

April smiled and looked down to Erin's hand where she was fiddling with the wedding band on her finger. "It's a wonderful thing to see two people getting it right."

Erin nodded her head and looked back as Everly lifted her head from Jay's chest and called out for Erin.

"It's okay Everly, Mommy's right here," she dropped the April's hand and bent over to pick up her daughter. Everly yawned and rubbed her eyes before focussing on the woman in front of her.

"Aren't you a darling thing?" April cooed, stroking the baby's chin delightedly. Everly smiled and babbled softly, enjoying the stranger's attention.

"Er," Jay bolted up from the blanket. "Where's the baby?"

"It's okay Jay," Erin smiled, helping him up. "I didn't want her to wake you up."

Jay smiled shyly as April held out her hand. "Sorry to frighten you like that, my name's April Sexton, I was just admiring your little girl here."

"Jay," he shook her hand. Turning back to Erin he began tickling the baby's sides. "You monster, you scared me." Everly squealed and twisted in her mother's arms reaching for her father.

Erin grunted and Jay lifted Everly from her grasp.

Holding her tight, he wiggled her around, making her laugh.

"Your family is beautiful, Erin," April grinned.

Erin smiled shyly and looked over at Jay and Everly.

"Thank you so much," she grinned back. "Now you be sure to give Atwater a call. He's a wonderful man, treats us like his family. I know you'll like him."

April shifted her bag on her shoulder and Jay looked at Erin curiously as Everly pinched his nose. "I will definitely do that, Erin, thank you again."

"It was really nice talking to you April. I hope I see you again."

"I hope so too." She held out a hand for Jay. "It was nice meeting you Jay, and you too Everly," she shook the baby's tiny fist gently before stepping back. "Have a good day."

"You too," Erin smiled, turning back and collecting their belongings from off the ground.

"What are you up to Mrs. Halstead ?" Jay asked her, setting the baby down in her stroller.

"What are you talking about Jay?" she returned, not looking at him.

"I know you, and you are definitely up to something."

"What would I be up to Jay?" she asked, dropping Everly's toys in the basket underneath the stroller.

"You're playing matchmaker again. Trying to set Atwater up with that woman."

Erin looked at him innocently. "I am not. I'm merely introducing two people who seem to have something the other needs."

Jay raised his eyebrow, a habit he had picked up quite quickly from her. "You are so full of shit. You are setting them up."

She grinned and took his hand as they began to walk home. "So what if I am. Kevin is so wonderful, he deserves to be happy and April seems like such a sweet girl."

Jay looked at her incredulously. "You are insane, you know that?"

"Why?" she grinned back at him. "Because I want my friend Kevin to be happy."

"How do you know she's sweet. You've been talking to her for what, ten minutes. She could be some psycho black widow killer for all you know."

Erin shook her head and laughed. "You're the one who's insane Jay. April is not some black widow killer. She's just a girl looking for a place to live."

"And how do you know this, miss smarty pants?"

"You're forgetting Jay, I'm the one who has recently been fitted with some high tech character judging instruments. It comes with the kid," she pointed down at the baby.

"What are you talking about?" he looked at her shaking his head. "And you are most definitely the insane half of this marriage."

"It's called maternal instinct Jay. I have to be able to judge someone's character in a second. It's meant to protect the offspring, but what can I say," she shrugged her shoulders kissing him on the cheek. "I have a multifaceted gift."

Jay laughed, pulling her close to him. "What am I going to do with you, Er?" he grinned, kissing her head.

She leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear. "I can think of a few things." Grinning to herself she sucked gently on his earlobe, causing him to shudder softly.

"Not funny, Er," he whispered back. "You're not playing fair."

She shrugged her shoulders and took the stroller from his hands. "Life's a bitch, Jay." Slowly she walked ahead, swaying her hips suggestively.

"Well played," he muttered to himself, watching her ass as he walked behind her.

000000000000000

"Dinner," Erin called from her place in the kitchen.

"Smells great Er," Adam stated as he walked into the kitchen, setting himself down at the table.

"Where is everyone?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, setting a plate of pasta on the table. "But if they don't get their asses down here in the next thirty seconds they won't get any."

"Hey Er," Kim greeted, plopping down in the chair beside Adam and gave him a long kiss. "Hi Adam."

"You look tired," Adam noted, munching quietly on a carrot stick. "Hard day at work."

Kim shrugged noncommitally and picked up a piece of carrot. "Just a long day, I guess. Dinner smells great by the way."

"Erin did it," Adam shrugged. "I just got here too."

"Hello everyone," Olivia smiled happily as she sat in her chair across from Kim. "How are you guys tonight?"

Erin looked over at Olivia and raised an eyebrow. "Where's Hank?"

"He's upstairs with Noah." Olivia grinned, helping herself to the pasta.

"Sure"Erin smirked, tossing the dishtowel over her shoulder. "What's going on between you two?."

"We're...taking it slow" Olivia explained. She wasn't exactly one for girl talk so talking about anything personal with Erin was a bit strange for her.

"What's going on?" Voight sauntered into the kitchen, holding Noah's hand noting the amused grins on everyone's faces.

"Nothing," Olivia shrugged. "Nothing much." The look on Hank's face caused the four to laugh hysterically.

"Do you want to enlighten me?" Hank asked as he lifted Noah up into his high chair.

A squeal from the door turned their attention away from Hank.

"Hey Evie, you ready for spaghetti?" Erin asked, taking the baby from Jay and setting her in her high chair.

"Mommy made it just for you and Daddy." Everly grabbed Erin's hair in her fists and pulled her close for a sloppy kiss.

"Thank you Baby," Erin cooed, wiping the drool from her face with a dishtowel. "Mommy likes kisses."

"Hey sweetpea," Kim smiled, snapping the bib around Everly's neck.

"How was your day?" Kim smiled and nodded along with the endless babble that was Everly's language.

"Wow," she smiled, when the baby stopped. "You've been a busy girl today, haven't you?"

Everyone watched, grinning as the baby talked and Erin and Jay took their seats on either side of their daughter.

"So, what's up for next weekend?" Adam asked, taking a bite of his dinner. "I mean no offense, but this is kind of a corny anniversary celebration so we need to celebrate next weekend"

"What do you mean?" Erin asked, cutting up Everly's bowl of pasta.

"What's next weekend?" She suctioned the bowl onto the high chair tray and handed the baby a small plastic spoon before turning back to her friend.

"Next weekend, Erin, is the kickoff of the holiday season. Also known as the start of October which means Halloween. Which means candy" Adam sighed, rubbing his head.

"The last weekend of nice weather for Chicago" Jay added.

"Right," Erin nodded, eating her own dinner. "Do we have something to do?"

"Why don't we all do something fun? Like camping or something?" Kim grinned. "That could be fun."

"Yeah, hot dogs and beans over a fire, peeing in a bush, using leaves for toilet paper, sounds like fun to me," Erin said, sarcastically. "No offense, but I think I'll pass."

"Yeah, I don't think Everly's entirely up for a weekend in a tent. The last thing we need is a cranky girl." Everly looked up at the sound of her name and held a noodle out to her father. Jay grinned and ate the piece of food from his daughter's tiny hand.

"Thanks baby, why don't you try using your spoon?" He held the spoon out for her and she opened her mouth expectantly.

"You, my love, are your mother's daughter," he grinned, feeding her a small spoonful of pasta.

"Dada," she responded, holding out another fistful of dinner for him.

"Dada has his own dinner," Erin responded, attempting to manipulate the spoon into the baby's grip. "This is for Everly, you eat this."

"She's getting so big," Olivia sighed, gazing over at Noah who was quietly eating before looking at Everly. "Soon she'll be talking like there's no tomorrow."

"She's already talking," Adam noted, helping himself to another serving. "This is really good Er."

"Thanks," Erin sighed, plucking food from Everly's hair. She tickled the baby's feet and picked up her spoon. "This is your supper," Erin played with her. "And this is your mouth," she tapped Everly's mouth gently. "The food goes in your mouth just like this," she made a face and plopped the spoon into the baby's mouth, as she erupted into a fit of giggles, spitting pasta across the table.

"God," Adam jumped from his chair, caught up in the baby's infectious giggles.

Kim laughed hysterically and removed the food from her nose, fueling Everly's laughter even more.

"Okay girly," Jay grinned. "No more feeding yourself." He took the spoon from Erin and signalled for her to eat her own dinner.

"Thanks Jay," she sighed, watching her husband shovel food into the baby's mouth. "I don't think we'll ever get the tomato sauce out of her skin. She'll be stained forever."

"Good luck getting the mush out of her hair," Voight laughed. "Her hair is too thick, you won't find it until next weekend."

"Speaking of next weekend," Adam sighed, attempting to jumpstart the forgotten conversation. "Are we doing anything or are we just staying in?"

"You guys should do something," Jay motioned to Adam and Kim. "I think I'd rather spend the weekend alone with my wife and daughter."

Erin nodded her head in agreement. "You guys should definitely go out and have fun though. Don't stay in on our account."

"That's Erin speak for, I'm gonna get some," Kim laughed, at her friend. Kim continued laughing until she saw Hank staring at her and her laughter suddenly came to a stop.

"You're just jealous because I am gonna get some," Erin countered, returning the childish gesture with an eye roll.

"Can we derail this train please," Voight groaned, dropping his head to the table.

"We'll figure something out, right?" Kim grinned looking at Adam.

"Camping sounds fun. We could ask Kev to come" Adam agreed, grinning as Kim bounced in her chair.

Everly caught Kim's enthusiasm an squealed loudly slamming her fists down on the tray, catching one tiny hand on the edge of her bowl. She looked up at Erin, surprise filling her face as she burst into tears.

"Oh Evie," Erin sighed, pulling her daughter from her chair and cradling her to her chest as she rocked her gently. "It's okay sweet girl, Mommy's here, Mommy's got you." The baby continued to wail, burying her head further into Erin's chest.

Erin whispered, soothingly, rocking her daughter until her sobs subsided to whimpers. "You okay now sweetie?" Erin lifted the panting baby's face to her own. Lifting her hand to her lips she kissed it gently, looking into the baby's eyes. "Mommy kissed it all better."

Everly sighed, never breaking eye contact with her mother. Erin sighed and leaned down to kiss the baby's forehead. "I love you so very much Evie girl."

"Come see Daddy," Jay sighed, reaching out for the baby.

"Mommy's gotta go put her t-shirt in the laundry before it gets all stained." Erin looked down at the filthy front of her shirt and sighed as she stood up.

Jay handed Erin Everly's sunsuit and rocked Everly gently in his arms.

"Jay," Erin smiled softly. "Strip."

"I'll give it to you later," he shook his head.

Voight cleared his throat as he eyed Jay who stood from his chair.

Jay followed Erin out of the kitchen and down the hall.

"Jay you are filthy, give me your clothes so they don't get ruined," she argued with him as they walked into the bedroom.

"What about you?" he gestured towards her. "You're dirty too."

Without breaking eye contact, she reached down and slid the cotton garment over her head, leaving her standing in jean shorts and a lacy white bra. "Turn about's fair play, Jay," she grinned, holding her hands out for the baby.

"Fine," he muttered, pulling his Henley tee over his head and handing it to her. "There, happy?"

"Pants too," she grinned, pointing to the lumps of spaghetti on the denim.

Jay muttered to himself as he slid the denim down his legs and handed the pants to his wife. "You're evil you know that?" Erin smiled and looked him over. He stood in nothing but blue boxers, his arms out for Everly.

"Cute Jay," Erin giggled.

Jay shot her a glare and took the baby from Erin's arms.

"If you're finished laughing at me, I'm going to take my baby upstairs for a shower." He trudged slowly up the stairs, Erin snickering behind him.

Erin slipped a robe on and walked into the kitchen with the laundry basket on her hip.

"Where did Adam and Kim go?" Erin asked.

"They left. Said to thank you for dinner" Hank said walking from the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream.

Erin nodded and looked at the table and sighed. She was exhausted and she knew she had a long night left cleaning up this mess.

"Do you want me to toss anything in the laundry?" Erin asked looking at Olivia.

Olivia had taken a few days off and come in to visit with Noah. So she'd taken Jay and Erin up on their offer to stay with them instead of going to a hotel.

"I think we're okay, Erin" Olivia said using a wet wipe to wipe off Noah's face and hands.

"Just toss them in the laundry and then go to bed. We'll take care of the kitchen" Olivia grinned looking over at Hank who was giving Noah a bite of ice cream.

Olivia looked back at Erin and gave a soft smile. "Everly's exhausted, so are you from the looks of it."

"Thanks Olivia," Erin sighed, moving towards the basement. "I'll see you guys in the morning."

Erin tossed the clothes in the washer and made her way into the bathroom where Jay showered. She stripped off her pants and underwear and slipped into the shower, wrapping her arms around his back.

"You okay?" she asked softly, placing a gentle kiss on his slick back.

"Yeah," he whispered, turning to face her. Everly's bare bottom was rested in the crook of his arm, her head settled on his shoulder, away from the spray of water. "I'm just tired, I guess, and not looking forward to work Monday."

Erin lathered up her hands with Johnson's Baby Soap and massaged her daughter's back tenderly. "Why not?" Everly sighed and Jay picked up a cloth, cleaning the tomato sauce from her cheeks.

"I'm gonna miss you two. I'll be at work every day, and with this new case every weekend. I'm never going to see you."

"You work too hard, Jay," she sighed, kissing his shoulder as she washed Everly's hair gently.

"I don't have much choice Er," he sighed back.

"This case takes up a lot of time, and we need the money"

Erin sighed and poured shampoo in her hands, washing her own hair and then Jay's. "I think it might be time for me to go back to work, Jay. It's not fair that you're the only one who's pulling their weight in this marriage."

"What are you talking about Er," he said quietly, closing his eyes as she rinsed his hair. "You do just as much as I do. Everly needs you here."

"I know that Jay, but I don't want you to kill yourself taking care of us." Erin turned around and turned off the water, stepping out of the shower.

Placing a towel on the counter, she took the slippery baby from Jay's arms and placed her gently on the towel. "She's so exhausted," Erin sighed, brushing a wet curl from her sleeping daughter's forehead.

"I think we're all exhausted," Jay sighed, handing her a towel as he picked up the baby. "Let's forget this conversation for a while. We'll talk about it again when she's older, okay?"

Erin nodded and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. "Let's go to bed, Jay."

000000000000000

Erin woke up extra early on Monday morning, checked quickly on the sleeping baby and moved into the kitchen. Yawning she scooped coffee into the pot and set it to brew, pulling out a pan to make breakfast. She hummed quietly to herself as she listened to the crackling of the bacon in the frying pan in front of her. "What are you doing up so early?" Hank yawned, stumbling into the dimly lit kitchen. "I don't see the kid anywhere, it's not like you to get up of your own free will."

Erin gave him a half smile and poured Hank a cup of coffee. "I thought I'd do something nice for you guys, seeing as you have to go to work today."

"Thanks," Hank yawned again, and he took the coffee from her hand. "You're definitely too good for us."

Erin smiled and poured herself a cup of coffee. "I am aren't I?"

"Modest too," Hank smirked "You really shouldn't have though. You should sleep as long as Everly lets you. You work too hard."

"I don't do anything," Erin sighed, taking a sip of her hot drink. "All I do is housework. It's not that hard."

"It's still work, Erin. You don't even notice it but I haven't seen you sit since the baby was born. You're constantly cooking or doing laundry or picking up after Halstead."

Erin shrugged and rested her head in her hands. "I really don't mind it, Hank. It keeps me busy."

"I just worry about you kid. I know you can handle it, but Ev's getting bigger and ." Hank started

"Maybe," Erin nodded, gently. "I'm still going to do mine and Jay's share though. I don't want him worrying about chores too. I'm really worried about him. He works himself too hard, he's going to break one of these days."

"What do you mean?" Hank sat up, attentively. "Is he okay?"

Erin shrugged and looked down into her coffee. "He's exhausted, and frustrated. Plus he misses Everly when he can't be around her all the time. He's upset because he's missing her life."

"Have you talked to him about it?" Hank asked, frowning. "What does he say?"

"He doesn't say much," Erin sighed. "He doesn't want me to feel guilty about it. I was thinking maybe I'll just come back to work. Jay didn't want to hear about it."

"I think Jay's the only one who appreciates how hard you work yourself Erin. He knows if you break, Everly suffers."

"I wish this didn't have to be so hard," Erin whispered, trying hard not to cry.

"I know, kid," Hank comforted her. "But you guys have a life so many people envy. You love each other so much and we all know that your struggles are going to pay off in the long run. It's just going to make you appreciate the finer things in life."

Erin nodded, and smiled gently. "I know. I've actually been thinking about how I can fix this." Hank looked at her curiously, as she continued.

"Platt has been talking about taking more time off, she's not as young as she used to be and she'd like some semblance of retirement. I thought maybe I could work at the precinct. Doing books, answering phones, that sort of thing"

"What does Jay think?" Hank asked, stirring his cooling coffee.

"I haven't talked to him yet. I don't see why it would be a problem, I mean, I could bring Everly with me. It would mean more time with Jay too." Erin explained.

"What smells so good?" Olivia mumbled, asked as she walked into the kitchen, plopping herself down in her chair. "Who made breakfast?"

"I did," Erin yawned. "Happy first day of investigation."

Olivia groaned and dropped her head down on the table. Erin's eyes widened and she looked at Hank as he stood up and walked over to get another cup of coffee.

"I think the end of the world is coming. Olivia Benson doesn't want to go to work."

Olivia sighed and buried her face in her arms. "I'm just tired," she mumbled.

Teddy entered the kitchen wordlessly, moving to the coffee pot.

"Aren't we all just a big ball of sunshine this morning," Erin sighed.

Teddy gave her an apologetic smile and ruffled his sister's hair

affectionately. Hank yawned and took a seat beside Olivia as she sat upright.

"Morning," he sighed, leaning over to place a light kiss on her lips.

Erin and Teddy looked at each other stunned at the display before them.

"Did I miss something?"Erin asked. "What the hell was that?"

Hank grinned at Olivia's stunned look.

"NOBODY wants to see that" Teddy groaned, dropping his head to the table.

"What's going on?" Jay asked, sauntering into the kitchen, Everly sucking her thumb in his arms. "Morning baby," he kissed Erin's lips gently as she took the baby from his arms.

"Morning Jay, Hank and Olivia were just about to tell us what's going on. You sleep okay?" she ran her fingers through Everly's tangled curls and dropped a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

He nodded silently, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand as he poured coffee with his free hand.

Olivia groaned again and dropped her head into her hands. "Come on Olivia, spill it," Teddy prompted, setting his coffee roughly on the table.

Hank and Olivia looked at each other sheepishly before looking at their everyone. "We were going to tell you eventually. We just wanted to make sure we both felt the same way first."

Hank nodded in agreement. "I like to keep secrets. You know me.."

"That's great you guys," Erin grinned, taking Hank's hand. "I always thought you two were perfect for each other."

"Tell me that wasn't you last night. Was it?" Teddy looked horrifed as he looked up from his coffee cup..

Olivia's cheeks turned pink and she turned away. And Erin nudged her brother from under the table.

"What?" Hank asked, looking between the two siblings. "Am I missing something?"

Teddy groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "I thought it was Erin and Jay trying something new." Erin looked at Jay and chuckled.

"We're not that loud are we?"

Teddy burst out laughing. "Not anymore, I thought it was weird that you were last night. I guess we have our culprits."

"This is so embarrassing," Olivia moaned. "Can we please drop it?"

"Consider it dropped," Jay said, quickly. Shaking his head completely mortified by what he was listening to.

"Did you do this?" he asked Erin pointed to the food cooking on the stove. She nodded as Everly moaned and rubbed her face into Erin's shirt. Erin rocked her gently, and turned to Jay.

"Can you get me a bottle, Jay? She's still tired."

"You shouldn't have done this, Er. You could have slept in." He poured a bottle of milk and popped it in the microwave. "Not that I don't appreciate it."

"I wanted to Jay," she smiled, reaching out her hand to him. "I made your lunch too. I don't want you starving yourself."

"You're amazing," he whispered, leaning down for a longer kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too baby," she whispered back as he pulled away to remove the bottle from the microwave. Handing it to her, she smiled and stuck the nipple in her daughter's mouth as she rocked her gently in her arms.

"Let me do it," Jay smiled, lifting Everly from Erin's arms. "You eat. I don't have to be in work for a while." Erin smiled and stood, dishing out breakfast to her friends.

"I'm really happy for you guys," she smiled to Hank and Olivia. "You both deserve to be happy."

"Thanks Er," Hank grinned, taking Olivia's hand. "We are pretty happy aren't we?"

"Maybe just don't be so happy in my house...you know...sexually" Jay said looking up from where he was feeding Everly.

"And on that note, I'm going to go wake up my son" Olivia said standing from the table and walking out of the kitchen.

"You really want to have that conversation, Halstead?" Hank asked. "Cause I'm pretty sure you and Erin didn't respect my house. You still want to have that talk?"

"Not with you" Jay sighed "Never with you"

0000000000000000000

"So what do you think?" Erin asked, fiddling with her wedding band.

"I think you are absolutely brilliant," Jay grinned, pulling her into his arms and swinging her around as she laughed. "I can't believe I didn't come up with it myself."

"You're not as smart as me, baby," she grinned, kissing him.

"Way to rub it in, Erin." He kissed her again. "It's the best surprise." He grinned and squeezed her tighter. "Have I told you you're brilliant."

"Once or twice."

"Hey Baby?" Jay whispered, nibbling on her earlobe.

"Yeah Jay," she whispered breathlessly.

"Wanna fool around?"

"Jay," she laughed, slapping his shoulder. "You have a work in twenty minutes. We don't have time."

He grinned, and licked the side of her neck seductively. "Twenty minutes is forever. Give me seven minutes and I guarantee you will be worn out."

Erin chuckled and ran her hands up her husband's back, turning her head to give him better access. "Seven minutes, huh? I'm starting the clock, let's see how you do?"

"Baby?" he asked, licking the sensitive spot behind her ear.

"Hank's feeding her," she whispered, as Jay's hand slid up the front of her shirt, gently running his hand over the cup of her bra.

Jay pulled away causing Erin to moan at the loss of contact. Grabbing the hem of her shirt, he pulled up and removed the garment from her body. He kissed his way down her body, undoing the clasp on his jeans as she moaned quietly.

He reached up her skirt and tore her panties down, lifting her leg over his shoulder. He felt her fingers in his hair and he hiked up her skirt, his tongue sliding between her thighs. Erin moaned softly and arched her back, giving him better access. "Jay," she whispered, stroking his head. "No fooling around."

He stood quickly, kicking his jeans down his legs and lifted her off the floor, wrapping her legs around his waist. She gasped as he slid into her and eased her onto the dresser in their bedroom. With little finesse he pounded into her, and she dug her nails into the soft skin on his back. "Harder Jay," she moaned. "Please, harder." Jay complied with her demands, pulling her closer. "Jay.. I'm.. gonna...God," she buried her face in the crook of his neck, stifling the sounds of her orgasm.

"Er," Jay sighed as he emptied inside her, dropping his head to her hair.

They sat quietly, regaining their composure for a moment before Jay slid himself from her body and pulled up his jeans. "What'd I tell you," he grinned. "With time to spare."

"You're amazing," she smirked. "Now kiss me and go to work."

"'Kay," he grinned. "Love you." He leaned forward and kissed her hungrily. "I'll see you tonight"

"You certainly will," she smiled. "Now go." She slapped his ass when he turned around. "Don't forget to say goodbye to your daughter."

"Never," he reached down and lifted her shirt from the floor as she slid off the dresser. She caught the garment he threw at her and blew him a kiss as he left.

"Bye Baby."

000000000000000

Sorry that it's taken awhile between updates. To be honest, it's been hard to find motivation to want to update. And the recent drama between Jesse and Sophia didn't help. If they "broke up" that really is a bummer. Not because of the future of Linstead, but because they were such good friends before they ever allegedly became more. So I hope they work it out and get back to being good friends again.

Anyways...

Hank and Olivia...Is it weird?

Burzek baby on board...Yay or Nay?

Also, the April I'm referring to is April from Chicago Med. I kind of think she'd be really great for Atwater. If that's just me then let me know and I can take her out. But

Everly cuteness and Linstead? IF the answer to this is no...then I'm not sure we can be friends anymore.

Next Chapter is going to be a time jump through the holidays.

Halloween

Thanksgiving

And

Nothing like Noah and Everly both being completely terrified of Ruzek dressed as Santa to spread a little Christmas cheer.

Please review.