14. I found you

"Noo! I must be dreaming now." I rubbed my eyes to wake up.

"Listen till the end, I can convince you."

"Arrogant and untouchable Gideon, the hard-line leader with no mercy, fell in love with the most calm and patient girl. She did not erupt volcanoes but was extinguishing fires within itself. Her gaze was like an arrow, she had a childish smile with dimples on her cheeks, just like now. Her voice was sweet and gentle. She was understanding and did not prejudice. She forgave a lot, gave a lot of love. She touched me and changed me, she shook my soul. When you sleep, you rub the palm of your other hand with your thumb because that is how you fall asleep quickly, because that is how I rubbed the palm of your hand before we went to sleep. When you go to the market you always choose from the second row onwards because in the first row others have touched or knocked down the items. You remove the leaves and stems of fruits and vegetables so that they do not weigh when you buy them. You continue to do it , I've been watching you these days. That night when you screamed, my eyes were darkened, your voice calmed me and when I approached you, I saw your eyes, do not tell me that you do not feel that stream of heat that is exchanged between our bodies? You have the same scent. You were obsessed with my scent, when you wanted to calm down you always rested your head on my neck. But one day it happened that I was badly shot, we were not immortal, all I felt was her, it was you. How much I wanted to and I did not say it because I thought I was too manly to say such words. I wish I had more time, I was getting homesick without running away. 'I love you' I whispered and then everything was dark. But I was relieved, I felt no pain, I felt good, very well until I opened my eyes again. You had performed a forbidden ritual to resurrect me. From that ritual you lose your skills. And I became cursed to live forever. I promised you that I would find you in every other life, that I would wait for you. And when I was scared how I would convince you, you said to me: 'Kiss me, do not have mercy on me. Bring me closer to smell you, make me remember my feelings. I will remember you through the feelings you give me f not through the mind.' "

He was crying, the strong man was crying like a child. And I, as a fool, I was sorry and embraced him, the devil was right, that scent of his.

Every night from that day for six months he visited me in my room and told me about his past, ours. I fell in love with him like a fool , even though I did not remember him, I wanted him close, I wanted him for myself, I loved him.

Until I ended up to a psychiatric hospital. He had a week that did not come. I waited with my head leaning against the window glass, every night, worried. He did not come. I began to doubt whether it was my imagination or he really existed. I had talked to my family about it, with my friends. I did not tell them how, where and when, I did not tell them the truth, only that I had someone in my life.

I waited all night with my eyes out the window. I had even fallen asleep leaning against the window sill near breakfast. He did not come because if he had come I would have found myself sleeping in bed. I was worried if domething had happened to him. I waited for him again, at about 11pm he came. He entered the room through the window as usual. This time he looked more nervous and in the black clothes appeared a new tattoo on the arms.

"What happened? Why haven't you come?"

"I came to break up with you, to say goodbye."