04

Aisling

   She stared out the window of the carriage. Trying to ignore her sisters. Their staring and whispers. They were excited for this, Aisling understood that. But, did they need to whisper about her when she was sitting right there across from them? A pang of sadness and jealousy ripped through her and her hands fisted in her lap, nails digging into her plans. The sting managing to center her.

"I get that you two do not like me for some damn reason, but do you need to whisper about me like that while I am directly across from you?" Aisling nearly snarled at her sisters. She hated this. She didn't understand what she'd done wrong. She had kept them alive for years and this was how they treated her.

"Sorry, Aisling. We were just discussing how we would fix any sort of situation you may cause since this is your first ball." Beth murmured and gave Aisling a dazzling grin. Aisling glowered back at her sister and snarled. This was hard and she needed their support, yet they sat there and tried to tear her down.

    The carriage came to a stop and Aisling bounded out of it. She needed air. She needed away from them. From the judgment in their eyes. Her sisters had always looked at her like that. Her earliest memories of them were the two women tearing her self esteem apart. She knew they had been jealous of her, their father had doted on Aisling. She was his little flower. Aisling barely got attention from their mother, which her father made up for.

    She jumped from the carriage, her feet landing on the ground with a thud and made her way to Lady Kenna and Lord Devon. A quick curtsy and Lady Kenna took Aislimgs hand, giving it a small squeeze.

"You alright, Aisling? Was the carriage ride hard on you in any way?" Lady Kenna murmured, concern filling her voice as her eyes scanned Aislings face. Aisling nodded and walked towards the manor they were staying in.

"Aisling. What happened in the carriage with your sisters? You sure you're okay?" Kenna asks again, grasping Aislings arm to keep her from rushing away.

"It's just... my sisters... they're right. I'm going to mess up and you all will have to do damage control. What if I'm not able to... what if I don't find my mate? I've never felt anything to even let me know there's a bond. Absolutely nothing." Aislings breathing came in shallow gasps and she trembled with her emotions. Saying it out loud seemed to make the possibility even more real for her. She may be doomed to live a life of struggle and hunger. Fate was cruel, often. She knew this.

"Oh... Aisling..." Kenna murmured, her eyes shining with tears as she took in the distraught girl before her. Her fears valid and consuming.

"It's possible. I know enough of how the bonds work. I know that most get glimpses of images and feelings sent through their bonds to at least let them know they have a mate. But... I've never gotten anything... and I don't understand. Beth... she thinks... it's because I don't have a mate." Aislings voice was raw and rough with her emotions, her voice shook as the feelings consumed her entire being. Tears fell freely now and she began sobbing softly. It was a very valid fear to have. One that no one could help her with.

"I suggest you dry your tears and gather yourself, Aisling. We have two hours until we need to be at the ball. Go get ready." Lord Devon interjected impatiently. His eyes shining with irritation and rage. Aisling knew he wanted nothing more than to throw punches at her. She knew clothing her and feeding her made him angry. She could see the anger bubble to the surface.

"Of course, my Lord." Aisling whispered and whirled around. She walked to the house and found her way to her room. This one was much like the one back at the other manor. At least she had that going for her. Comfort in the way things here were the same.

    She undid the laces on her gown, hands shaking. Her eyes stung heavily and her tears continued. She was alone now. She could break without their judgement. Her sisters and Lord Devon. Somehow the three beings were very much the same in the way they treated her. The gown pooled on the floor and she stepped from it with a quiet sob. Aisling sank into the tub.

    The water was warm and instead of smelling like roses, it smelled of lavender, honeysuckle and the sea. The scent calmed her, filling her senses as she inhaled deeply. Those would cling to her body all night. She would smell just like this. Her mate would only be more enticed by the heady mix of her scent with these smells. She knew that much.

   Aisling sat in the tub for a while, closing her eyes for some time. She hoped her sisters at least found their mates. If they found theirs and she didn't, she could return home without them. She wouldn't have to put up with their verbal abuse anymore. She could have a simple and easy life with them gone. It would be fine. She would continue to work for Lord Devon and Lady Kenna, making enough to keep herself fed and clothed.

    Eventually, Aisling clambered out of the huge iron tub and wrapped herself in a towel. She padded to her room and plopped on to the bed in a very unlady like fashion. One that she would get a lecture from her sisters for if they had seen. She was to act like the perfect lady at all times now. Aisling rolled her eyes and threw herself backwards. Her head hit the mattress and stared at the white ceiling above her, relaxing her body further. She could do this. It would be fine. She would be okay. She repeated to herself over and over again.

   After sometime staying still she convinced herself to get up and begin getting ready for the ball. The one where she may learn she did indeed not have a mate. That her fate was to be alone for her entire life. Numbly, she walked to the vanity and began running a brush through her hair. Did she braid it or let it tumble down? She loved her hair down. She could hide behind it when need be. Down it would be. Tonight was overwhelming enough.

     She finished her hair quick enough and moved to the make up. It had taken her several tries to understand this stuff. She had never used it until now and didn't understand why she needed it. Lady Kenna told her in all honesty Aisling could go without, she had such a natural beauty. But most used it to make themselves prettier. Aisling kept the make up light, natural. She hated having it thickly caked on. It made her feel fake and she didn't like it. Her door opened and Lady Kenna walked in with a broad smile.

"Shall I help you get into the gown?" Kenna murmured. It had surprised her that Aisling was pretty much ready and had done most of it on her own. She had learned quickly.

"Please. The laces are still hard for me to manage when they're on the back.." Aisling stood and walked to the gown she had put on the bed. A deep green color, made from silk. Kenna picked the gown up and grinned.

"Perfect choice." She whispered and Aisling stood. She took the gown from Lady Kenna and slid it over her head. The gown settled about her and she turned, pulling her hair out of the way. Kenna got to work on the laces of the corset, tugging the lace tight and tying them. Lady Kenna walked to the vanity and grabbed some flowers and began weaving through Aislings hair.

"Perfect. Let's go." She whispered and they walked from the room. Aisling paid extra attention so she would not trip over the skirts of the gown. Her sisters were already down stairs waiting with Lord Devon. Their eyes fell on Aisling and widened slightly. Blush spread across her face and she chewed her lip. The look on Lord Devons face unnerved Aisling immensely. His eyes raked down her body and glimmered with something she only saw once. She tensed and her grip tightened on Lady Kennas hand. She could not be left alone with Lord Devon.

"Come. We're late. Let's go." With a flurry of skirts, her sisters left the manor and walked to the carriage outside. Aisling climbed in and sat down, next to Lady Kenna and across from Lord Devon who was still watching her.