Year Three - Chapter Three

The first lesson with Hagrid involved Hippogriffs. I had my wand in hand, just in case. It wasn't that I didn't trust Hagrid, or the Hippogriffs. It was that I didn't trust myself from running the hell away from them without a surefire way of protecting my fragile body. Hence, I stayed religiously away from the claws and the beak and the everything of the Hippogriffs.

My eyes were on Malfoy, of all things, because I knew he'd soon cause trouble. Amanda saddled up by my side, and grinned. I was afraid of her grin. "So, I heard you're going to go through a really grim event? And you said divination was all bollocks?"

"It is," I acquiesced, "Only those who give value to hogwash empower it. Deny it, and it will hold no sway over you, or your actions," I remarked.

"Now, firs' thing yeh gotta know abou' hippogriffs is, they're proud. Easily offended, hippogriffs are. Don't never insult one, 'cause it might be the last thing yeh do. Yeh always wait fer the hippogriff ter make the firs' move. It's polite, see? Yeh walk towards him, and yeh bow, an' yeh wait. If he bows back, yeh're allowed to touch him. If he doesn' bow, then get away from him sharpish, 'cause those talons hurt," Hagrid had barely finished speaking, that he was already looking around for a volunteer to do the first round of Keep Eye Contact-Bow-Death by Hippogriff.

"Harry!" he said cheerfully, "Yeh gonna try first, ain't ya?"

Harry actually did near, nervous as a wrecking ball, and did his very best. The Hippogriff actually took him for a small flight around the paddock, and then brought him back down with little trouble. I, meanwhile, tensed. I had the Accio charm ready on Malfoy's clothes. No matter what, I'd get the Malfoy to live through another day. Perhaps I'd drag his face in the mud, but at the very least, I'd get him to survive-

"Now ye all try," Hagrid continued, gesturing to the half dozen of Hippogriffs strolling around the paddock. I began to inwardly whine.

"Let's do this," Amanda said, eagerly nearing a hippogriff while keeping eye contact, and then bowing to it. The hippogriff looked quite curiously at her, just as slightly off the side, Draco was doing the same with Buckbeak. It was the hippogriff's name, if I wasn't wrong. I needed to keep my eye on the Malfoy heir. I needed to, because otherwise-

"Hey Shade, look!" I turned, cold chills running down my spine as I realized Amanda had broken eye contact with the hippogriff in order to look in my direction and beckon at me. The Hippogriff, immediately, ruffled its neck feathers and squawked angrily.

Pride goes before the fall.

The hippogriff bent its neck, lifting its talons. Amanda barely had the chance to turn and scream, that the hippogriff exploded in a mess of feathers. The banishing charm I had thrown his way literally sent the half-bird half-horse to fly back a good dozen meters, my other hand meanwhile absentmindedly pulling Malfoy away from Buckbeak with magic, throwing him a good ten meters back and on his ass. His indignation was second only to the dim realization I had avoided him a nasty scar when Buckbeak's talon hit the empty air.

"No breaking eye contact!" I snarled, "No offending the hippogriff!" I continued angrily, "Two key rules!" the hippogriff I had backhanded away with a Depulso literally squawked angrily, before turning its fierce eyes in my direction, my own wand poised in front of me. "Professor Hagrid-" I continued, "would you mind calming them down?"

"Ah," Hagrid said, "I'll take Buckbeak first, ye' keep Fleetwing busy but don't ya hurt him too much ya hear?"

"Yeah, yeah," I answered as I swished my wand at the incoming hippogriff, a tendril of fire spreading from the tip of my wand like a whip and snapping in the air, much to the creature's consternation. "I have fire and I am not afraid to use it, gentle and proud creature of the forest. Please keep your distances, and no harm will befall you," I added. Perhaps if I kept it to a polite tone, it might work in calming the beast.

It did the opposite, and the hippogriff flew up in the air, angrily squawking at me as it circled with its powerful wings, increasing in speed and diving in my direction. At least the name Fleetwing was warranted. The thing was awfully fast. Did someone secretly make me drink a bad luck potion? Was there an Unfelix Unfelicis version that I had been injected without my knowledge, or was the third year notoriously horrendous for the students of Hogwarts?

"Oppugno!" Amanda's voice carried through clearly, and a nearby rock slammed into the sides of Fleetwing as it came cruising for my flesh and blood. It didn't stop the hippogriff. It was a mass of muscles and feathers, and the rock was barely as big as a fist when compared to the massive horse-sized creature. The rock, though, kept pummeling the sides of the creature as its talon went inches away from ripping my head off.

My own head was secured by a side-roll, the kind only a true player of Dark Souls would ever execute, but also the desperate and the nearly dying. I spun, raised my wand, and in that instant heard a set of new squawks pour all around me.

The rest of the hippogriff herd had decided it had enough of playing spectator. "Get away from here!" Hagrid yelled, waving his large arms, "They're gonna swarm ye!"

I stared at the six hippogriffs, and the one standing on the opposite side of me.

I stared at them all, and then opted for the most valiant solution.

Fleetwing got himself treated to a Petrificus Totalus, standing frozen with its wings spread as it thudded to the side, falling due to the strength of gravity. The rest of the students meanwhile ran away, some even screaming. I ran too, but not before ensuring Amanda, and that ponce of Malfoy, were both reasonably running in turn. The remaining hippogriffs were on me. They twirled around in the air, seeking me out from all other students, and I had no intention of bringing the flock on them either.

They flew awfully fast, all things considered. Seeing how they were meant for transportation, and how they were similar to horses, they also flew as fast as a horse could run, and I didn't like that, because it meant only one thing.

It meant they would catch up to me no matter what I did. I could strike one down, but it would mean nothing to the others. I could banish one, but there were five more. I could transfigure one in a rabbit, maybe, but that was all. The castle was too far for me to reach on foot. No, there was only one viable choice for me.

I didn't bother turning around to look at how close their squawkings had come as I dived for the lake's shores. "SQUIDDIE!" I screamed to the top of my lungs, "HELP!" the lake's water began to ripple, "Squiddie!" I yelled some more, gasping for air, "Hel-"

I had a hippogriff rake its talons on my robes, pushing my body down with the strength of a freight train as it hit me. Pain laced across my back, and the talons dug deep in the flesh. It was just a wound that the infirmary could heal. The next second, I heard the snap of bones crushed by a massive trunk. Twin tentacles, large enough to twirl around the Hogwarts' castle if they so wished, thundered like massive logs against the flock of angry looking hippogriffs.

The thumping of the tentacles did the trick, the ferocious birds of hell flying off into the depths of the Forbidden Forest as I groaned from my spot on the cold, wet sand. I liked it there. It was a nice place to stay still, because if I moved, the pain just spread across my back.

"Squiddie," I mumbled, "I love you."

There was a frothing of water as one of the squid's smaller tentacles actually neared me, as if to check if I was still alive. "Don't turn me around," I mumbled, "Or you'll get sand in my-" it turned me around, and I literally cried out from the pain.

"Squiddie," I hissed, tears in my eyes. "I love you, but don't move me. Leave me here. Like this. Don't move me." I pleaded with the tentacle, who didn't seem keen on letting me go and instead lifted me up, high in the air. "Squiddie?" I muttered. "Squiddie..." I whimpered. I was awfully high in the air, all things considered. "Squiddie!"

The tentacle stopped in front of a window. There was a brief instant of absolute silence in the chaos that was my mind as it popped open, and the figure of Madam Pomfrey appeared through. "Mister Umbrus?" she muttered in disbelief, "did you nearly drown?"

They had trained the Giant Squid to bring drowning students to Madam Pomfrey.

These absolute madmen.

These genius wizards.

I love you, wizards.

I utterly adore you and everything you stand for.