Food X Tastes X Good

The mist begins to clear as we press on, the soft glow of sunlight filtering through the thinning canopy overhead. The group is quieter now, the tension of the Swindler's Swamp still fresh in everyone's minds. My wheels creak slightly against the damp ground, and I try to keep my distance from the noisier candidates, who murmur among themselves about the dangers lurking ahead.

I stay near the middle of the group, following Satotz's steady pace. The air grows heavier with moisture as the terrain shifts beneath us, the earth becoming softer, muddier.

Then, without warning, Satotz leaps into the air.

The abruptness of his movement startles everyone, myself included. I slam my hands against my wheelchair's wheels, skidding to a halt just as the ground erupts in front of us. A massive, grotesque frog bursts out of the earth, its slimy green body easily the size of a small car.

"What the hell is that?!" someone shouts, stumbling backward.

The frog lets out a guttural croak before lunging forward, its enormous mouth swallowing three unlucky candidates at the front of the group in one horrifying gulp. Screams echo through the swamp as chaos erupts.

"Stay back!" Satotz commands, his voice cutting through the panic.

The frog, seemingly content with its meal, burrows back into the ground, leaving only a wide, muddy crater in its wake. The remaining candidates shuffle nervously, their eyes darting to the ground, wary of more attacks.

Satotz lands gracefully, brushing off his coat as if nothing had happened. "That," he says calmly, "was a frog-in-waiting. They burrow underground and wait for prey to pass overhead before striking. Be mindful of your surroundings as we proceed."

I grip the wheels of my chair tightly, my pulse still racing. "Mindful," I mutter under my breath. "Right."

After a bit of fortunately encounter-free running. The group eventually exits the swamp, emerging onto a narrow path that winds through a dense forest. Tall trees tower overhead. The air smells fresh here, earthy and alive, a stark contrast to the swamp's damp, rotting stench.

Satotz stops at the edge of a clearing, where two figures wait for us. One is a towering, obese man with a wide grin, Buhara. Beside him stands a slim woman with sharp eyes and weird blue hair, Menchi.

"These are your examiners for the third phase," Satotz announces before stepping aside.

Buhara grins and gestures grandly toward the forest. "Welcome to the Visca Forest Reserve! We are you examiners Menchi and me, Buhara! We are gourmet hunters."

The group chuckles, one participant going. "Gourmet Hunters? Just let me cook something and pass already." Rudely.

Menchi gets pissed off and decides to downplay what's about to go down. "Your task is simple: hunt and prepare a pig from this area. Show us your cooking skills!"

The group chuckles, clearly relieved by what seems to be an easier task than the swamp.

Menchi, however, steps forward, her expression cold and no-nonsense. "Don't take this lightly," she warns. "This is a cooking test, and we'll be judging you harshly. Only those who impress us will pass."

The candidates exchange confident glances, the tension decreasing again.

I take a moment to scan the forest. It's obvious to me what's going on, the only pig in the forest is the great stamp. A massive, ferocious beast with a hide tough enough to deflect bullets and a snout evolved to protect its soft head. Taking one down is gonna be a piece of cake though, as i do know its weakness.

While most of the group rushes toward the main path into the forest, eager to find their prey, I turn my wheelchair toward a nearby hill. From here, I'll have a better vantage point to spot a Great Stamp without having to wander aimlessly.

Reaching the top of the hill, I peer down into the forest, scanning the underbrush for any signs of movement. It doesn't take long to spot a trio of Great Stamps grazing near a cluster of trees.

"Gotcha," I mutter, summoning Tusk.

The pink, spectral form of Tusk Act 1 appears beside me, chittering softly. Its presence steadies my nerves as I take aim, channeling Spin energy into my nails. The Great Stamps are massive, their thick snouts making their heads nearly impenetrable, but I aim at their weak spots.

Tusk chitters again with a "Chiyuuuu", and I fire my first nail. It whistles through the air, striking one of the Great Stamps square on the head. The beast lets out a guttural roar before collapsing.

I fire two more nails in quick succession, taking down the other two. The creatures fall one by one, their massive bodies crashing to the ground.

With the area clear, I wheel myself down the hill, stopping beside the nearest Great Stamp. The beast is even larger up close, its body dwarfing me.

Using Tusk to assist by spinning some wood together welding it together and making it into a sled shape by putting spin into the end of the wooden board for a bit before stopping, causing it to curl up. The wood in this forest is suprisingly soft. I doubt i would be able to do this with oak wood.

I drag one of the creatures onto a makeshift sled I find nearby and begin the arduous task of hauling it back to the exam area.

As I make my way back, the sled creaking under the weight of the Great Stamp, I pass Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio. The three of them are calling out searching for a pig. I remember in the anime it took them a bit before finding the group of Great Stamps.

"What the…" Leorio starts, his eyes widening at the sight of the massive pig im dragging.

"You already got one?" Gon exclaims, his voice filled with awe.

Kurapika narrows his eyes, studying me intently. "You must have found it quickly. Did you encounter any difficulties?"

I shrug, trying to downplay the effort. "Not really. Just use the top of its head." I say, offering a hint.

Leorio frowns. "The top of its head? That doesn't make sense."

Kurapika crosses his arms, clearly skeptical. "What's so special about the top of its head? Do you mean the top of your head? Like think outside the box or something?"

I don't bother explaining further. "Meh, it's funner if you figure it out yourself." I say, continuing on my way.

Back at the exam area, I waste no time preparing the Great Stamp. Using Tusk, I channel Spin energy into my nails but hold it back, keeping the energy concentrated without launching it. The result is a razor-sharp edge that makes skinning the pig a surprisingly smooth process.

I work methodically, cutting away the thick hide and removing the layers of fat underneath. The Great Stamp's body is massive, and cleaning it properly takes time, but I'm determined to get it right.

Once the skin and fat are removed, I move on to cleaning the inside, carefully extracting the stomach and other organs to prevent any leakage while it cooks. The process is messy, but I stay focused, wiping sweat from my brow as I work.

Next, I season the meat, rubbing salt and pepper into every crevice. I find some lemons and other fruits among the ingredients provided, grating their zest over the meat for added flavor.

Finally, I turn on the fire, keeping the flames low and steady to ensure the meat cooks evenly. As the Great Stamp roasts, the smell of sizzling meat fills the air, making my stomach growl. And I use the spin to make the pig literally be cooked with the spin of the golden rotation. So it's gonna be extra evenly cooked.

An hour later, Gon, Kurapika, Killua, and Leorio arrive at the cooking area, each of them dragging their own Great Stamps behind them. Gon's face lights up when he sees me.

"JoJo! You're already cooking?"

I nod, glancing at their catches. "Looks like you figured it out."

Leorio collapses onto the ground, wiping sweat from his face. "Yeah, after nearly getting trampled by those things."

Kurapika, ever composed, examines my fire. "You've been at this for a while. Slow cooking, I see."

"It's the best way to get the meat tender," I reply, turning the spit slowly.

Killua sniffs the air, his eyes widening. "Man, that smells amazing."

Gon crouches beside me, his gaze curious. "How'd you learn to cook like this?"

I shrug, trying not to sound too proud. "Just picked it up along the way."

By the time the rest of the candidates arrive, I'm nearly finished with my dish. I apply a final layer of spices, letting the meat rest over the heat for a few more minutes before plating it.

One by one, the other candidates present their dishes to Menchi and Buhara. Most are met with scorn from Menchi, while Buhara devours everything like the fatass he is.

When it's my turn, I wheel myself forward, presenting the roasted Great Stamp with as much confidence as I can muster. Menchi examines the dish closely, taking a small bite. Her expression softens, and for a moment, I think she might actually smile.

"This…" she begins, her voice thoughtful. "This is acceptable."

Buhara nods enthusiastically, his mouth full. "Delicious!"

Menchi turns to the rest of the group, her expression stern once more. "The rest of you failed. Cooking isn't just about flavor; it's about skill, preparation, and respect for the ingredients. None of you demonstrated that, except for him. I dont even need to taste the rest."

The group groans in disappointment, Kurapika, Leorio, Killua and Gon even more so because they decided to slow cook it like me but didn't even get the chance to present it. And the blonde hair wrestler dude uhhh ...

Forgot his name ... but the blonde hair wrestler dude smashes his own cooking station.

"T-this is Bullshit! I came here to be a blacklist Hunter not cook some pig!" The wrestler exclaims

"Hes got a point to be honest, no matter what you do with it pork is always still going to be pork." Hanzo says before menchi lunges at him and puts a knife to his neck.

"Just pork? I'll have you know-" Menchis interrupted by a booming voice.

"Doesn't it seem a bit harsh to fail everyone except one?" A voice says from a blimp, obviously via a loudspeaker.

Everyone looks up as a blimp descends gracefully, its imposing silhouette casting a long shadow over the forest.

"What now?" Leorio mutters, shielding his eyes from the sun.

The blimp comes to a halt above us, and from its side, a single figure leaps out. The air seems to ripple around him as he lands with effortless grace, his hands clasped behind his back. It's none other than Chairman Isaac Netero, the legendary leader of the Hunter Association.

The crowd erupts in murmurs.

"The Chairman himself? Exciting." Hisoka says, his voice curious.

Netero's expression is calm, almost jovial, as he surveys the candidates and the examiners. Menchi immediately stiffens, bowing her head in deference.

"Chairman Netero," she begins, her voice uncharacteristically apologetic. "I may have acted rashly. My standards were too high, and I'll take responsibility by resigning as an examiner—"

Netero raises a hand, silencing her mid-sentence. "No need for that, Menchi," he says with a smile. "We all make mistakes, and yours was merely a matter of passion. Plus I can't think of another way we can get another examiner on such short notice."

Netero thinks for a moment before he lights up with an idea. "Instead of resigning, let's make this more interesting."

Menchi blinks, her surprise evident. "What do you mean?"

Netero clasps his hands together, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "We'll give them another chance. A true Hunter must adapt to challenges. Why not set a new test and join them in completing it? That should satisfy everyone's sense of fairness, don't you think?"

Menchi hesitates, then nods. "If that's what you want, Chairman, I'll agree. Then I say we go to split mountain."

Netero turns to the examinees. "Gather your belongings and get on the blimp. We're moving to Split Mountain for the next phase of the exam."

---

The blimp lands on Split Mountain, a natural marvel that leaves everyone in awe. The mountain's name is no exaggeration, it's cleaved cleanly down the middle, creating a massive gorge that stretches into the horizon. The sheer walls of the gorge are covered in enormous spider webs, each one dotted with large, pale eggs.

Netero steps forward, gesturing grandly to the scene below. "Behold! Your next challenge awaits!"

Menchi takes over, her tone all business. "Your task is to retrieve an egg from the spider webs below. These are rare delicacies known as Spider Eagle Eggs, prized for their flavor and nutritional value. Once you retrieve an egg, you'll boil it, and dont worry. This time me and buhara wont judge it. Just as long as you retrieve an egg your fine."

The examinees exchange uneasy glances. The gorge is daunting, the spider webs swaying slightly in the breeze, their strength uncertain.

Menchi steps to the edge of the gorge. "Watch closely," she says. Without hesitation, she leaps into the void, her body twisting gracefully as she lands on one of the webs. The strands bounce and sway under her weight, but she waits.

Before anyone else can act, I wheel myself forward, stopping just at the edge of the gorge.

"Don't tell me you're going to—" Killua starts, but I cut him off by leaping out of my wheelchair

The wind rushes past me as I plummet toward the web below, but unlike Menchi, I don't bother grabbing the web. My eyes are locked on the eggs themselves, and I stretch out my hand.

The group watches in stunned silence as she hangs on the web and i fall. Suddenly, an updraft of wind rushes through the gorge, propelling her and the web skyward. She lands lightly back on the plateau, holding up the egg for everyone to see.

My fingers close around an egg just as the updraft almost ends. The force sends me hurtling upward, and I twist my body to control my trajectory. Menchi, who had just stepped back from the edge, looks up in surprise as I land next to her, cradling the egg in my hands.

"Well, that was... bold," she says, raising an eyebrow.

I shrug, wiping sweat from my brow. "The aerodynamics of the mountain made it obvious. At this elevation, with these wind patterns, an updraft was inevitable. I just calculated the timing."

It's a complete lie, of course. I had knew about the updraft from the anime, and i didn't know if the updraft would catch me in time, but there's no need for anyone to know that.

The examinees behind me exchange impressed murmurs.

"He's like a genius or something," Gon whispers to Killua.

Killua smirks. "Or just insane."

Back on solid ground, I waste no time setting up the provided portable gas stove. I fill a small pot with water and place the Spider Eagle Egg inside, bringing it to a gentle boil. As the water heats up, the egg's white shell begins to turn translucent, the aroma of its rich yolk filling the air.

I add a pinch of salt to the water for good measure, watching as the egg cooks to perfection. When it's ready, I crack it open carefully, revealing a golden yolk that glistens in the sunlight.

Taking a bite, I can't help but savor the taste. It's rich and creamy, with a hint of sweetness that lingers on the tongue.

"This," I say to no one in particular, "is worth the trouble."

I lean back in my wheelchair, snacking on the egg leisurely as I watch the other examinees make their attempts. Some succeed, landing on the webs and retrieving eggs with varying degrees of grace. Others are less fortunate, either missing the webs entirely or getting tangled in the sticky strands.

But most of the people that dropped succeded thankfully. Or not thankfully? I don't know if I should want more or less competition.

Menchi makes an announcment to the group. "This challenge was about more than just retrieving an egg. It was a test of courage, resourcefulness, and skill. Many of you impressed me today, and I'm pleased to say that most of you have passed."

The group erupts in relieved cheers. But I'm kinda pissed.

I'm the one who jumped down first other then Menchi and I'm the only one who passed why is no one talking to me?

...

I think it's because I turned Tonpa into meat spaghetti. Let me test that theory.

I roll towards Hanzo and tap him on the shoulder. "Wow that felt exhilarating. That updraft really fel-"

...

Hanzo took two steps back from me ... and he's obviously contemplating whether to speak to me or not. I mean his hands literally on his chin. Like that one statue "the thinker".

He finally decides to speak up. "Please do not touch me, you scare me. Thank you and goodbye. As a ninja i am being honest and fair, in accordance with my code."

He then proceeded to jump away from me and continue snacking on his egg.

Damn, that's cold. Rude and cold. Although I did kill someone brutally, so maybe i shouldn't be critical of others for being rude to me.

Huh, Fun day. Fun day indeed. The suns setting. Can't wait for us to get back on the blimp so I can sleep, I'm reaaaally tired.