Chapter 45: The Point of No Hope
Chapter 45
The Point of No Hope
Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see. - Helen Keller
Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order. - David Gerrold
IRISH VAMPIRES WITH THEIR POTATOES. - My sister on Twilight.
Reviewer Quotes :)
she should definitely have a lame Box Weapon/Animal of badassness... then when everyone gapes at its "No-good" looks, she can defend herself by attacking them with a badass attack phrase like, "BITCHES! It's powerful as fuck! Go -insert a whole bunch of adjectives that are badass- -insert whatever its name is but it has to sound badass-!" or something like that and then she'd beat the shit out of everyone with it. - NAO-chan33
i have composed a nickname for the white rapist they call Byakuran...he shall be dubbed Sir Pedoran from now on. - chaos kai x
Yuni- WHOPACHA! *knocks out Byakuran* Gamma- Princess! You're back! Yuni- Of course I am, I just needed to fool Marshmallow boy for a couple weeks. LET'S GET ICE CREAM! Gamma- Still the same, old Yuni *shakes his head* - Rebi-chan
Cloud- A weapon that helps in anyway every time she opens it, dispensible. EX-
Situation 1- Lost in a forest surrounded by wolves. Yuni: *Opens box weapon* Box weapon: *Ejects a extremely large and warm beef steak with barbecue sauce on a silver platter* Yuni: ... Oh. *Throws beef steak far away LIKE A BOSS* Situation 2- Bored and on a plane with a snoring Squ-chan. Yuni: *opens box weapon* Box weapon: *Ejects a taser and invisibility cloak* Yuni- *Tasers Squ-chan, throws it at a random place, covers herself with the invisibility cloak, pulls out DS* Squ-chan- VVVVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOIIII IIIIIIII! WHO THE FUCK TASERED ME! THEY WILL DIE! *Goes ranpaging around the plane* Yuni- *Hums while covered in her cloak and playing Pokemon Black 2* - Rebi-chan
My days at the Millefiore for the next month was on a strict schedule:
8:00 AM - Wake up (as per Byakuran's order)
8:30 AM - Meet Byakuran downstairs for breakfast (as per Byakuran's order)
8:35 AM - Eat breakfast (as per Byakuran's order)
9:00 AM - Go to my room and sit there (as per Byakuran's order)
11:30 AM - Meet Byakuran downstairs for lunch (as per Byakuran's order)
11:35 AM - Eat lunch (as per Byakuran's order)
12:00 PM - Go to my room and sit there (as per Byakuran's order)
8:00 PM - Go to sleep (as per Byakuran's order)
I thought I was going to freaking die, it was so boring. I had like ten-eleven hours of nothing to myself.
Byakuran had told me that he would take care of all the war business and literally said to just 'sit there and look adorable'. Let's just say that I tried not to run out of the room at the end of the meeting.
Thankfully, I had a project to work on.
Mind blocks.
I managed to make it into my mindscape with Mao's help.
'Just picture your resolve.'she had told me. 'What are you trying to do or protect?'
Images of my friends, the Vongola Guardians, Hibari-sama, Tsunayoshi-chan, Mukuro-dearest and the others, the Varia, Xanxan, Squ-chan, Fran and the others, the Giglio Nero, Gamma, Nosaru, Spanner (who I had only met in the future...) and the Arcobaleno, Fon-sama, Lal, Verde (albeit reluctantly) flashed through my thoughts, sweeping through the loneliness quickly, leaving a flutter of happiness and faint memories rushing through me.
I smiled, just as I felt myself go unconscious.
My mind, I laughed, bitterly, was a bright place.
It was bright, but not necessarily terrible - unless you're a carnivore. I was, strangely enough, in what looked like a greenhouse. Light poured in from all sides, shining brightly upon the green leaves of all sorts of plants.
I could only name a few, the basic ones, like roses, lilies, camellia, hydrangeas, forget-me-nots (it's kind of hard to forget those plants) and sunflowers, but Mao was automatically naming them all off.
Her voice felt a lot closer than it was usually was, less distance and faded.
Ivy, gardenia, is that monkshood?, that looks like a nerine, oh a Queen Anne's Lace! Sweet pea, star of Bethlehem, boronia, cosmos and a dahlia.
I couldn't help but chuckle. "You really like this kind of thing, don't you, Mao?"
I suppose I do.
Wait...her voice only appeared in my mind, so maybe...she was in my mind?
"Are you here?" I wondered, glancing around. "In this house-y place?"
Mao didn't answer for a moment.
Yes, I am... but I'd prefer not to be seen.
"And what if I care more about seeing you than your personal insecurities?" I asked, now walking up and down the aisles, searching for any sign of movement; the only thing I could see was leaves, petals and stems, the light flashing off the still damp plants.
I won't appear anyways. And you don't have time to waste on me.
Mao's voice was surprisingly sharp, reminding me of a pissed off teacher.
If you aren't ready with your mind blocks against Mukuro-san or anyone else, if they know, then Byakuran will know and then the world will end. Would you like to be the murderer of seven billion people? Because that won't be on my head, Yuni. It will be on yours.
I swallowed, the weight of her words hanging over me. I'd done a lot in my plan to save the world, but a lot might not be enough. I'd have to go to infinity and beyond in order to defeat Byakuran, save the world and the Vongola.
I set up my mind blocks (more flames, Yuni! "I'm trying, dammit!"), with some...encouragement from a persistent Mao.
The next day, at breakfast, I think Byakuran gave me a heart attack. "Yuni-chan~"
"Yes, Byakuran?" I said, my expression empty and emotionless.
He grinned at me, dumping a bag of marshmallows onto his pancakes, clearly giddy. "We've killed all the Arcobaleno!"
My heart pretty much stopped.
Verde... the glasses character, as I had called him, occasionally, the man with the plan, the Second DaVinci.
Mammon... the mysterious Varia Guardian, who I had paid, to show me little illusion tricks.
Fon... the kind, quiet Storm Arcobaleno with the gentle smiles and bright encouragement.
Reborn... oh, Reborn, my uncle Reborn, with his expresso, and his guns, Leon, and his fedora, his 'Dame-Tsuna's, his manipulativeness, his Reborn-ness. Gone. Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. Dead.
Colonello... kora.
"All of the Arcobaleno." I repeated, unable to keep the blank facade up.
Thankfully, Byakuran was so...cheerful, that he completely skipped over my facial expression. "So the Vongola are going to be coming for negotations tomorrow~"
I swear, time froze.
There was Byakuran, in front of me, with his marshmallow pancakes, all excited over the fact that he had killed all of the Arcobaleno and was preparing to kill Sawada Tsunayoshi. There was my pancakes, the syrup sinking into them, becoming disgustingly soggy as time went on.
I wanted to leap from the table, and just die, to bring the Arcobaleno back, right that second, to save them all, return them back to the Earth, bring them back.
Suicidal, quite literally, but I hadn't wanted anything else in the world - not even Fran's forgiveness, not even Hibari-sama, not even the newest Pokemon Rangers that hadn't even been released yet - more than Reborn, Fon, Verde, Mammon, Colonello (I'm sorry, Lal. I didn't mean to.) and even Skull, who I had never met in my life.
Riza, don't even think about it.
Why not? I-I can bring them all back now, and they can all take down Byakuran, right now, right?
You are not yet ready-
I can do it, really.
Even the real Yuni had died in the process of charging six pacifiers with Sky Flames, reviving the Arcobaleno-
I have to-
You cannot. You will end up failing. Your heart is not ready.
"And when the Vongola Decimo comes, I have an important duty for you." Byakuran re-attracted my attention, and pushed a wooden box into my hands. "I think it speaks for itself."
I swallowed, taking the box, and peeking into it. I almost dropped it, horrified by what I had seen, but managed to get a grip on it. "Yes...Byakuran."
He smirked and dismissed me.
I walked away from the room, but the second the door slid closed behind me, I ran up to the room where I had been holed up. I threw myself into a chair, and buried my face in my hands.
I blame teenage angst.
The next day, at exactly eight o'clock, I dragged myself from bed, changed into my official uniform (get it? Uni-form? No? Okay, I'll go away now.), hat and all, and walked, as elegantly as I could manage at eight in the freaking morning, down to the Entrance Hall, to wait for Byakuran. I had pocketed the wooden box's contents, hiding it under my cape, thoroughly ashamed to be carrying such an object.
Surprisingly enough, he was already there, wearing a suit and tie. "Yuni-chan, are you ready?"
Well, refusing him was never a good idea, so I answered "Yes."
He nodded, at me. "Shoichi-kun said that he wanted to take a look at what was inside the box before the meeting started...go find him, would you? Decimo will be here in fifteen minutes and I'd rather that you were here, waiting with me."
I bowed my head, praying that Shoichi, who I had only spoken to in passing, would have some sort of plan. "Yes, Byakuran."
I walked down the halls, searching for the ginger. I whipped around a corner, only to crash into the very man I was searching for.
"S-Sorry, Yuni-sama!" he bowed, his back a perfectly right-angle. I was somewhat impressed. "I apologize greatly for my actions!"
I kicked him. That's right folks. I kicked him. "Get it together, Irie."
He winced, rubbing his stomach. "I-I'm sorry. A-Are you feeling...alright?"
I smacked him over the head. "I'm feeling a hell of a lot better than I had before." I shoved the box's contents in his hands. "Hurry up, Tsunayoshi-chan is coming."
I think Shoichi was really, really confused as to what was going on, like 'why the hell is Yuni normal?' or 'Can this even be considered normal?', but he adjusted the object, fixing it.
"Here." he handed it back. "S-Should I tell Byakuran-san about w-what just happened?"
I literally snarled, perfectly annoyed. I was taking out a month's worth of frustration onto the poor boy, but I didn't really care. "If you want to destroy the Vongola and, oh I don't know, THE WORLD, go right ahead! Otherwise, get your ass down to the Entrance Hall and reassure Tsunayoshi-chan!"
Shoichi nodded, swallowing. "Y-Yes, ma'am!"
I took a step closer, leaning in Shoichi's face (even though he was looking down on me). "If anything goes wrong here, Irie, I'm blaming you and only you. If anything more than what was supposed to happens to Tsunayoshi, or hell, anyone!, I'll kill you myself. Either that, or I'll purposely assign you to a place where Hibari-sama or Gokudera-kun can get you, punk."
He gulped. "Y-Yes, ma'am!"
I swept into the Entrance Hall, my cape fluttering behind me (but concealing the item from the box). "I apologize, Byakuran, for my tardiness."
The Vongola was already there. I had to force myself not to look at them - accusing eyes, disappointed, betrayed expression, and just pure pain - instead focusing on Byakuran.
He laughed, amused by their expressions. "No problemo, Yuni-chan! I was just greeting Tsunayoshi-kun, here. You two were friends, once, right?" he emphasized the 'were' part of the sentence. "Say hello!"
I turned to a fully-grown Sawada Tsunayoshi - I have missed you, oh, my little Tunafish, I'm sorry, I didn't want to have this happen - the most carefully-constructed blank look I could manage on my face. This piece of meat had his Hyper Intuition of Badass (HIB, like HIBari. Sorry, shutting up now), and could probably figure out that I was faking.
Hell, he might even know exactly what I was doing.
I held out a hand, reaching out to take his. "Sawada Tsunayoshi." I said, coolly - Tsuna, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, don't blame yourself - as we shook hands. "It has been a while."
His hand was warm and calloused, so he was doing well, but had been swarmed with paperwork. On the other hand (quite literally), my own hands were freezing cold and soft, meaning that I hadn't done much.
His fingers squeezed mine, and his kind, brown eyes seemed to become a little sad, but more wistful if anything. "Oh, it's hardly been two months, Yuni-chan. And remember? You can call me Tsuna or Tuna or something."
I pried my hand away from his, stepping backwards. "No, thank you, Sawada Tsunayoshi."
After I had become slightly more distanced from the Vongola representative group, I got a good look at who was there. Tunafish - don't be sad, I don't want you to die, even if its only for a little while, Tuna, please, please -Hibari-sama - I'm sorry about Fon, Hibari-sama, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, don't be angry, please - Gokudera - his eyes were the most accusing of all of them - Xanxus - his fingers were just itching to pull out his guns, I knew it - Squ-chan dearest - don't feel betrayed, I miss you, don't be sad, I miss you - and Fran.
Out of the entire group, Fran's expression struck me the hardest. He just looked so bored, like 'none of this matters to me, I was forced to be here'. He was watching some Millefiore White Spell members, and forming little explosions (not enough to be noticed or get him in trouble) around them, spooking the men. But his eyes would flicker to Byakuran - to me - every now and then, like 'you're the one she left us for, right?'. He seemed bored on the surface, but I knew he was just as angry, betrayed and sad as the rest of them. He was just too stubborn to show it.
Focus, Yuni, Riza, whoever you think you are.
I thought I wasn't Riza anymore.
You have always been Riza, but you've been less and less like her everyday.
How?
You seem sadder, more serious nowadays, reminding me of the burden that I had only seen on the original Yuni.
So I'm going from Riza to Yuni, kind of?
You will never be Yuni, but you will never be Riza again.
Then who am I now?
That's a question you should be asking yourself.
Ever wonder about what he's doing
How it all turned to lies
Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why
Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Eh, eh, eh
Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it's not right
Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Ever worried that it might be ruined
And does it make you wanna cry?
When you're out there doing what you're doing
Are you just getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by by by
Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
-Try, by P!nk, suggested by Maso-chan
We all took seats in the Business Room, Byakuran on one side of the epicly long table, me on his right, and Tsuna on the other side of the epicly long table, Gokudera on his right.
"So, negotiations." Gokudera said, gruffly, clearly unhappy with the fact that he was there.
Byakuran clapped his hands together. "Oh, yes! But first, Yuni-chan, would you please...?"
No. I don't want to.
I closed my eyes, slowly standing up.
Why me?
Tsuna glanced around, confused as to what was happening (why was his Hyper Intuition going off?). "Ah, Yuni-chan, what are you...?"
I don't want to, Tsuna, save me, please.
I put a shaky hand - stop shaking, its only becoming worse - into my pocket, brushing against the item that had been in the wooden box.
Tsuna, run.
Tsuna blinked. "Do you have a present for me, or something?
No, leave, get out, run, save yourselves.
I almost laughed. "Always the innocent, naive one, I suppose." I drawled, my vision becoming slightly blurry with unshed tears. "That was something that Reborn-ojii-san hadn't managed to train out of you, I see."
But Reborn would never manage to train that out of you, now would he? Not anymore, I guess.
Gokudera and Tsuna flinched at the sound of Reborn's name.
Leave, now. You have the chance.
I sighed."I've missed you, Sawada Tsunayoshi-chan."
So much. I've missed you just too much, all of you.
Tsuna actually smiled. "I've missed you too, Yuni-chan."
I love you all, you're all my friends, family, my hopes, my dreams.
I whipped out the item from the box, a gun, pointing it at Tsuna's chest. "And I'm sure we'll all miss you, especially after this."
I'm sorry.
I pulled the trigger. "Farewell, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Arrivederci."
Goodbye for now.
Everything happened at once. Tsuna fell backwards, his expression surprise, horror, pain, and...hope? I dropped the gun, as if it had burned me, looking at my hands in something that can only be described as disgust. Byakuran let out a cruel laugh, as if he had seen a magnificent comedy. Gokudera lunged forward, catching Tsuna. Hibari drew his tonfas, an expression of absolute loathing and hatred on his face - directed at me, no doubt. Xanxus had killed three men, whipping around his X-Guns like nobody's business. Fran just stared at me.
Someone screamed.
Hours later, as I nursed a sore throat, I would recognize it as my voice.
.
.
.
.
.
The stage has set itself for what very well may be something that my heart can't take.
I cried while writing this. And then punched myself in the face when I realized how stupid I am. But I was listening to 'See You Tomorrow' by freaking Ryohei! I was like 'I WON'T SEE YOU TOMORROW, TSUNA, BECAUSE YOU'LL BE SIX FEET UNDER, MY LOVE' and cried my eyes out.
Reviews~
Rebi-chan - Lately the chapters have been depressing. But as Riza/Yuni says... 'I blame teenage angst'. I love the idea with the tool. BAM. Instant steak. BAM. Instant taser. BAM. Instant DS.
akuma-chan25300 - I can't wait until Byakuran's reaction until Yuni becomes...normal again. It's going to be awesome, and he's going to be all WTF and Yuni will be all MWAAHAHAHAHAHA, DIS WORLD IS MINE, BITCHES.
Lanaught - anime physics = the secret to the universe. Propagation Magikarp + Flames = Cambio Forma Gyarados.
Vanessa Celestine Blanchette - I think it might go to Youtube...I don't know.
anyandeveryanime - Your email didn't show up on the review. You'll have to do it like this: leoinuyuka I'maboss dot com (that's not real, just saying)
Raviena Si Absole - I love Gamma ~ his hair rocks. I just love his hair. I dunno, but when I think Gamma, I think 'KAKASHI-SENSEI' and 'HAIR'. *shrug*
Maso-chan - OMG, IT'S PERFECT, HOW DID I MISS THAT?! THANK YOU, SO MUCH, THAT IS NOW YUNI'S LIKE THEME SONG. THANKS. YEAHHHHH. I'm using that for the song of the chapter. *hands down*
NAO-chan33 - When I get off my lazy bum, I'll adjust the names in the reviewer quote. Yuni bullied poor Shoichi this chapter D: but that's because she's been all 0_0 'Yes, Byakuran' all freaking month and she's already pissed. Propagation Magikarp with a lot of flames changes into a cambio forma Gyarados, lol.
NinjaGirl9797 - OROCHIMARU IS THE SNAKE (wao, wrote 'Snape' for a moment there) PEDO.
CuteDork - Faygo rocks. THATS ALL THERE IS TO SAY. It speaks for itself.
Paigecat - I think that there should be a Sky Pegasus (but isn't that Dino's?! Scuderia or something) and definitely a Propagation Magikarp that goes Cambio Forma Gyarados.
icecream flies - A falcon would be okay, but then I'd get it screwed up with Colonello-kun's Falco boss of a partner.
catrinebatrine - I WANT THE PROPAGATION MAGIKARP SO BADLY.
Michiyo - It's a good thing your arm didn't break. If my arm broke...that would mean six weeks of no chapters. D:
Ingmina - I was thinking squirrel too, but then I think Luce had a squirrel for a partner named Cosmo or something.
MeWubFranxx - Thanks for the Cloud Magikarp (lol, I can't deal with the hilariousness of it) and ALPHONSE-SAMA :D I LOVE YOU, PHONSE-SAMA.
MeLikesROFL - Cute N Deadly, lol. She needs Tsuna to become strong, regardless of the Arcobaleno Curse Arc. He can't become Vongola Decimo if he is not strong (but Tsuna can do it, he's a boss, literally)
ResyaAfhirsa - I'm a terrible person *doesn't even try to look embarassed* It's English (me? In Japanese? I think not, my friends). RETURN THE MAGIKARP, DAMMIT. And I want to add in romance (Fran is so awesome, whenever I read a Varia story, I'm just waiting for Frannie to show up), but now feels like it would NOT belong, unfortunately. *sobs*
Pailrose - Yuni's probably bored. -_- You see in this chapter how Tsuna-kun and the others are.
CrimsonSkyTamer - I feel like Rayquaza (the motherfucker of all Pokemon, dammit) would be awesome. But isn't he too awesome to deal with her? I was thinking something like Jerachi (he's so cute, dammit.) and then I just need a Propagation Magikarp. I need it. It could cambio forma into Gyarados or something. I wear braces (I hate them...)
The Ice Sorceress - Should Yuni call Byakuran a pervert in the Final Battle? I think she should...
Rd - THINK PROPAGATION MAGIKARP THAT CAN CAMBIO FORMA INTO GYARADOS. I think YES.
chaos kai x - Sir Pedoran? lol, perfect.
Try by P!nk is Yuni's theme song, thanks to Maso-chan.
QUESTION:
Should I go through the manga or stop at the end of the anime?
I think I will be making this a poll, so go vote on my profile.
Leave a review~
I'm also accepting song requests for those songs that randomly appear in my story... -_- I'm running out of songs, lol.
EXPECT AN UPDATE TOMORROW OR TOMORROW'S TOMORROW.
LeoInuyuka
If I told you that I don't have a beta, what would your respond be?