Won't Let Her Go Forever
"Just tell me. Are you even the slightest bit impressed by my presence in your life?" asked Spider with a sad and hurt look.
Honestly, Luci wanted to say no. The only person who could impress her in her life was Daniel, but he was gone forever.
"So you're not at all pleased to meet me?" Spider hissed back. His eyes were still filled with sadness.
Luci looked down. She was at a loss as to how to respond. She was confused whether her honesty would later save this complicated situation, or even make Spider feel a growing wound in his heart.
What did Spider want? Trust? Was it easy for this man to gain trust? Did Spider think this world was that simple? If trust could be earned easily then Luci would be able to live happily now, with the love and care from Daniel's family and Daniel's friends. If those people believed Luci then they wouldn't have concluded that Luci was the one who killed Daniel.
Remembering about Daniel, or remembering memories with Daniel had made Luci feel like a thousand knives were stuck in the pit of her heart. Especially now in front of her eyes as if she saw Daniel lying down with a bloody sickle that came from her hand. Then Luci saw Daniel die in a hospital bed because he couldn't be helped.
Was this world an easy place to find trust? If so then Luci would be able to believe more in herself that she never actually killed Daniel.
"You are pushing me too much by talking like that. Do you care about me? That's what I wanted to ask," answered Luci with empty eyes, looking at a place. In those eyes, she saw Daniel smiling and waving at her.
Spider was stunned for quite a long time. His square face seemed to contemplate what Luci had said. His stout and tall body were clad in a plain white shirt with folded sleeves.
"Fine, I won't force you. I understand you still think of me as a foreigner. I know, even though we used to be close. In the end, I understood that all I felt was a one-sided joy. You have the right to do anything. I won't stop you." Spider walked away but did not leave the room.
Right now Spider was standing right in front of the VIP room window. What he did was not much different from Luci's. Spider looked far away, and in the image of his brain, he was seeing little Luci who always asked him to hold her.
He saw little Luci always asking him for sweets. Until he saw that little Luci was making a promise to him. Luci promised to never leave him alone.
'All my life I breathed only to find Bee,' he thought. 'All my life, I've walked in the hope of meeting Bee. Even in every pain and torment, I got when I was a slave in a family (because the Dusky family left him in the forest) I would always endure it just to find Bee. Whatever I do, it will always bear the name Bee in every decision I make.'
Then when those hopes and desires came true, the girl that Spider had longed for had now turned into a different figure, even as if he didn't want to know her. He didn't think this was fair.
A few seconds later a doctor came to examine Hans. The doctor asked the visitors to come out. Luci shot out of the room. The girl even walked first without asking Spider to go out with her. When Luci came out, the doctor bowed and greeted Spider.
Spider nodded his head lightly and almost seemed unconcerned.
"Take good care of him here!" Spider ordered coldly. Then he came out to follow Luci who was already sitting in a waiting chair not far from Hans' room being treated.
Luci was silent and didn't say anything. She folded her arms and pondered. Spider also approached, even though he didn't want to get closer to Luci because he still felt a little hurt. But Luci's body seemed to have a magnet that Spider couldn't resist.
"What are you worried about?" Spider scolds Luci. He was now sitting in the waiting chair with his back leaning on the chair. He had taken off his fedora at the hospital.
"Why are you still here?" Instead of answering Spider, Luci asked. Right now Luci's and her state of mind were not good. Maybe because she was currently too tired.
"I have to look after you," Spider replied in a very low voice. That's the kind of sound that Spider only made when he talked to Luci.
Luci was silent. She didn't want to respond to anything. Instead of Luci getting emotional, it's better if she was silent. Her body was crushed, Luci was also sleepy, but hungry at the same time.
"You're not hungry? Want me to order some food?" said Spider with his soft and very caring voice. If the other person that Spider was talking to wasn't Luci, but another girl or someone else, that person would surely melt on the spot when he heard Spider's voice. Their knees would be so weak just from getting hit by Spider's charms.
"I'm just tired. And I need to take a shower," Luci said honestly. Her hands occasionally massaged her cramped and stiff neck. The backpack was still on her back, pressed against the chair, and squeezed by her own body.
"If you want, you can. If you don't want to, I won't force you." Spider sighed. His eyes were now on the employees passing by around him. Several employees nodded gently at him. But the nod was soft enough that Luci didn't notice.
"I need clothes," Luci flattened with glancing eyes at Spider. There was a feeling of awkwardness and guilt in her heart. Luci felt that she had been rude to Spider, even though all this time – or last night – Spider had been kind and had always helped him. If it weren't for Spider Hans probably wouldn't be in the treatment room right now.
That was why Luci wanted to atone for his mistake. Luci wanted to grow trust in Spider. After all, the two of them had been family once, though now it felt very strange.
"I need clothes. Can you provide it for me?" Luci asked again as if to emphasize what he wanted.
Spider didn't respond, because Spider thought it was just Luci's meaningless words. Or you could say Spider doesn't understand if Luci asks for his help in finding clothes. Therefore Spider was silent.
But when he heard Luci asking for his help, Spider looked up with a bright face. His face was a bit downy now like a hairy apple. The apple was ripe and fresh that had just fallen into the hair.
Spider might be too early to conclude the reason for the actions of Luci who was willing to ask for his help. Spider might be too early to dismiss Luci's actions as liking. But there's one thing that Spider held on to tightly, Luci he would never let go of her, ever.
***