Trans...err, something-or-rather!

Before Fook Yu can ask any more questions about his fate, the golden glowing old deity sticks out his splendidly sandalled foot-- thus promptly ejaculating him off the cloud.

And so down and down he falls, screaming all the way--

Yet, there was no land in sight!

No matter how far he falls, it seems like it would go on forever!

"Daaaaaamn!" he screams, as he is falling so hard he can feel the wind stretching out his lips, and pulling like a swarm of angry wind spirits at his crusty mane of unwashed hair.

Gradually, the gold skies of his surroundings give way to clear blue, with white clouds.

A familiar view of the Earth opens up beneath him: of the vast jungles teeming with spirit animals he had called his home, the nearby villages, as well as the sacred bridge crossing between the land of ordinary mortals and that of the cultivators and ancient beasts.

'Am I just going to end up in the same shitty place I was before?' He wondered furiously.

However, his trajectory abruptly shifts.

His path now veers heavily from those jungles he knew as well as the back of his hand, toward what marvellous sights surely awaited him on the other side of the bridge--that is fortified with a magical barrier of the heavens, to allow only highly spiritual beings to pass.

Yet, as the world beyond its passage expanded outward before him--

'Ehhhh?! This isn't what I was expecting at all!'

Rather than the vibrant, paradisial landscape  he'd imagined, what was revealed to Fook Yu were fire-scorched, black remnants of forests and human dwellings, in a trail of unparalleled destruction paved through a valley that was carved between two imposing silver mountains: rising above the mess like a  brotherly pair of stern-faced, disapproving giants, their pristine peaks swirling with a thick, snowy mist.

'But where are the gardens of eternal splendor?' Fook Yu questions. 'The heavenly spirit masters on flying swords? The jade tigers? The great palaces of various Gods and Goddesses?'

Instead, it was all much of the same: the stark, terrible aftermath of some unknown calamity; as he continues, soaring like a comet over this brutal landscape of scorched earth, until it gives way to sprawling, abundant paddy fields, where finally he begins to see signs of life...and people!

It is early dawn, but people are already starting at their work for the day: toiling the fields, driving oxcarts along the dirt roads; or taking a break to rest, under the shaded eaves of their humble straw and wood farmhouses; some, are even ganging together to stave off a wild leopard that had trespassed unto the paddies--wielding their farming sickles and hoes as weapons!

So far, it was nothing close to the grandeur Fook Yu expected to find, in the land of cultivators!

'It must be some bizarre mistake!'

'That old sage really was smoking a pipe!'

Nonetheless, his astral journey culminates here: with drifting gradually closer to the ground, until he is barrelling straight toward just one out of the many humble, unassuming residences in the region--

'Ah! Wait! No, stop! I'm going to crash!'

...

...

I wake up with a startle, lying in a bed.

A bed? When was the last time I slept in something other than a pile of leaves?

I look around, and instead of seeing the rocky walls of some cave that a spirit bear was friendly enough to let me sleep in, I discover that I am in a small bedroom with cheap curtains drawn over the windows, barely letting any light come through.

'Where the Hell am I?'

'For that matter--WHO the Hell am I?!'

I lift up my hand, seeing that it's soft and manicured. Not rough and covered in hairs, as my own. I touch my face, and it feels strangely...chiseled, as well as also distinctly lacking in hair; while the hair on my head feels considerably less matted and stiff, more silky and smooth to the touch--flowing out in long, exquisite dark strands, sticking tightly to the nape of my sweaty neck.

'What can I say? I used to be a hairy guy.'

'But now, I'm all smooth?'

'I need to find a mirror, right away!'

So I get up from the bed, only to realize I'm completely naked!

'Woah! I'm smooth "down there" as well!'

I notice a nice robe hung over the back of a chair in the room: it's made of a glossy, felted fabric dyed a light purple color, and as I take it up and unravel it across my arms, I see it's embroidered...in gold! How fancy!

'Well! I'm assuming these are mine, as I seem to have stepped into another person's life!'

Eh...what was that term I heard, once?

Back when I was still a proud ogre, I remembered seeing a group of monks were passing by on the road, and I was about to jump them; but, I stopped to listen to their conversation instead, and it was something to do with the reincarnation cycle...

They had used a word that I think described the situation I'm in now, but my dumb halfwit brain can't recall.

"Trans...for...no! It was trans...morph...hmm..."

Eh, whatever! I shrug off the thought and drape myself in the nice robe; along with a  pair of soft, deep purple cotton slacks and clean, like-new sandals that are folded and neatly set up on the chair as well.

Haha! I've really hit the jackpot, when it comes to nice, clean clothes!

Not only that, but there's a saber! One that puts even my trusty old blade to shame: with !a perfectly curved, mirror-polished edge, an ornately designed wide hilt with a red tassle.

So many nice gifts!

I--technically--didn't even have to steal to get!

Now, as I'm fully dressed, I go looking through the crappy house for a mirror...

However, there's none in the small bedroom, or the kitchen: with wood counters and a firewood stove that looks like it's recently been lit, a weak scent of smoke and fried fatted meat still hanging in the air.

Oho! Someone was just recently here cooking a good breakfast!

I wonder if this poor guy whose life I took over, or reincarnated into, or--whatever--has a  beautiful girlfriend, or wife? Heh! Some divinely cute babe, with huge gourds: taking good, sweet care of him--and now me!

I swear, I could almost die again with excitement, as I burst out the front doors of the house to find--

'Blah! Who is this pitiful, plainfaced old hag!'

'Her chest is completely flat, too!'

She's squinting at me--maybe because I'm so hqndsome that it blinds her--but then again, the way she's placed her hands on her hips leads me to suspect she might be angry.

"Finally, you're awake!" She shrieks at me. "You lazy, good-for-nothing son!"

'Eh! This is some guy's--err, MY mother?!'

The old bat yanks me by the ear, pulling me along like a child!

"Grr! You're just as useless as your father!"

I yank myself free of her grasp.

"Ouch! I'll seriously cut you for that, lady!"

"Ho! You're a murderer now?" She walks up to me, lifting up the edge of my saber so that its pressed directly at the center of her lackluster chest. "Go ahead, Han Some. Murder your own mother!"

I try to pull the saber away, but her grip is surprisingly strong.

"Hey, crazy lady! Cut it the Hell ou-"

"Do it! You'll only screw up your karma as much as you've already screwn up your life!"

'Well, aren't I in a shitty spot right away!'

I even feel pretty bad for the guy who was in this body before me...

'This one's for you--random handsome guy!'

I KICK the old hag, and with a surprised cry she falls on her back into a puddle of mud, where sits glaring up at me--wearing a look as though I'd just made a personal affront to the Divine Emperor.

"Lady!" I yell at her, tucking the saber away at my side-hilt--no doubt looking like a total badass.

"I'm not your son anymore!"

"My name--is Fook Yu! I was a highway bandit who lived a long life of XX years, before I met my end--and I've been trans-inmigrated into your son's body!"

I watch her gasp, as her lip starts to tremble.

"Trans...migrated?"

Aha! Now I remember, that's what it was called. "Transmigration" was what those monks were talking about, before I made off with their purses!

The lady is shaking her head.

"No...no, no, no..."

She's looking away, as if just told her someone died, tears forming in her eyes.

"It means...that my dear Han Some has died!"

Oh.

Well, fuck.

I let out a sigh, feeling kinda bad for her.

Just seeing her sitting there, in the mud...all crying, and stuff; I bet this was how my own mom felt, when she first found out her only boy was a no-good bandit.

Would she even cry if she learned I was dead?

So, in a supremely rare gesture of kindness, on my part...

I stoop to help the old hag back to her feet.

"You've got a husband? Other kids?"

She shakes her head.

"Han Some was all...I had left."

"Han Some's father left on an adventure to cultivate, and never returned."

'Eugh! So, she's out her all alone, then...'

I'm scratching my head, in disbelief of the words I am seriously about to utter.

"Listen, lady: I have no intention of wasting this precious new life I've been given by sticking around on some dumb farm; but, I guess if I come across some coin, I'll be sure to spare a few for you."

At this, Granny Some's face lightens up--and it's enough to make a cruel ogre like me sick!

"Oh...that's so thoughtful of you, stranger."

"Yeah? Well, in exchange: I ask for two things of you."

She nods. "Of course. I am in your debt."

I tell her: I wanted a mirror, but also--

I wanted the whereabouts of a certain young, high spirit rank cultivator...

Named Mei Rei Mei.