Ch 1

I'm Camden Rosair right now I'm a junior in high school taking AP chemistry talking to myself because I have no idea what the teacher is talking about and can't ask questions. I hear the bell ring and scramble for my bag as I feel the pressure of my mask start falling I quickly grab onto it to make sure it doesn't fall so nobody sees my abomination of a face. I quickly grab it as it falls and put it on my face. I sign to my friends that I'm ok because they look at me worriedly knowing I never take my mask off. I get to the orphanage soon because I started a panic attack after I left the school wondering what my friends would think of me if they saw my face. Emily one of the volunteer workers saw me come in and helped me to my bed since that was the area I was calmest. After I felt better I started self-studying trying to think of better thoughts but all I could think about was Yuko. Even thorough I know she would never like girls I still held onto a string of hope. I leave the room going to the kitchen to help prepare dinner even though I'm not much of a help because I'm mute and couldn't converse about what I was doing. I just prepped everything and left notes, leaving the kitchen to put plates and silverware on the table I come back only to find one of the volunteers trying to pry a kind off of the food. I don't know why he was doing that because we are well-fed and eat in 10 minutes. I gesture to him that the food is not ready yet and that we have to wait for everyone else to come to the dining hall. He angrily glares at me while he walks off, making sure everything is for the others I check the time. As the other orphans start trickling in, I see Emily at the back of the room, talking to someone on her phone. I wonder what it could be about, but I don't want to intrude.

As we start eating, I notice some of the other orphans whispering and pointing in my direction. I feel a pang of anxiety in my chest, wondering if they are talking about me. I try to focus on my food, but I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. After dinner, Emily calls me over to her. She tells me that she has received a call from my social worker, who wants to come and visit me tomorrow. I feel a mixture of excitement and fear. I haven't seen my social worker in months, and I miss her, but I'm also afraid of what she might think of me. I nod my head, trying to communicate that I understand. The next morning I wake up early to prepare lunches for the other kids as I won't be able to help with dinner tonight. After I leave I head to school. Since it was Friday we had quizzes in almost all the subjects. Making sure my grades are high enough I leave school worried about meeting my social worker. When I arrive "home" I get called over to the office as that's where I meet the social worker. As our conversations continue I can't help but get nervous as she is making eye contact with me and I don't know if she can see the scars or not. I hurriedly write down a reply to her questions so she looks at the paper, not me. The social worker seems to understand my discomfort and switches the topic to something more positive. She asks me about my plans for the future and what I want to do after high school. I write down that I want to study chemical engineering, but I'm not sure if I can afford it. She reassures me that there are scholarships available and encourages me to apply for them. When I start to research more into it I found out how hard it is to get a scholarship without a sport. All I do over the weekend is study so I can improve my chances of scholarships my main region of focus was on chemistry because that's what's the most confusing right now. I go back to school on Monday and start to understand everything a little bit better, especially the composition of metals and gasses. I look over at Yuko and see her talking to her boyfriend then she turns around and caught me staring at her so I quickly change where I was looking back to my desk.