Ch IV: Stupid Mobs, I Just Want A Book

Longest chapter yet, and I've gotta say, I feel like the way I ended this was quite unsatisfactory. Let me know how I could improve it, my editor is also a drama king like me but even more so, and he wrote this, so uhh yeah.

'Sunrise already huh? I'm really not looking forward to this, but, if I am to get strong, enchantments are a must! And I need obsidian, and to get obsidian I need two more diamonds. *sigh* I guess it's time to mine…'

I get up and starts to get ready to start my day.

'Mgh, even though I don't need to, not taking a bath so long makes me feel all kinds of wrong.'

*After Taking A Long Bath.*

"Y'know what, fuck it, no! I refuse to mine for obsidian, that will take way too longlet's see if Kameron has any."

*Theo goes to Kameron's house

"Yo, kam, do you have like… Four obsidian? I really need it."

"Yeah I do."

"Alright, thanks, how much do I-" I try to say only to be cut off

"Don't worry about payment, you're the hero of the village, I can't make you pay on our first transaction." 

"Thank you, you're a lifesaver, now I just need a book to craft the enchanting table. Let's go and look around, I should find a cow eventually."

Unfortunately for me, the village was surrounded in the Dark Forest Oak Biome(I'll give a like to whoever understood that reference), so I had to steel my nerves and try to make it out to the other side. 

*Literal Moments After entering The Dark Oak Forest

*Hhhraaaaahhh*

"What the hell?!" I yelled, I almost jumped out of his body, that jumpscare damn near let me experience being a ghost prematurely. 

I was so frightened that I brought out my enchanted diamond sword. Fearing the worse, I decided to go towards the source of the sound, and saw what could've only been described as a nightmare. A gigantic hoard of zombies of like seventy that came out of nowhere. Thinking fast I immediately hightailed it out of there, sure, I might have been confident in my fighting skills, but I knew he couldn't face seventy seventy plus zombies alone. 

'Ok, I have to think strategically, if I try to fight them all, I'm dead, trying to pick them off one by one would take the whole night and I'd be out of stamina by then. Why am I su on lucky anyways? Am I actually Peter Parker or something?' I monologue while running away

*Sigh* 

'he only way I'll be able to fight them is in a closed off area, I gotta find a place to hide.'

Looking behind myself, I saw the zombies seemingly climbing over each other, refusing to get folded by mobs I ran for what seemed like a thousand blocks, and It probably was considering I ate a lot of food, almost a half a stack of bread to keep my stamina and saturation up.

"Holy Notch this hoard is relentless, do they have a grudge against me or something."

Looking ahead again I saw a dead end quickly coming up, but… there's no such thing as a dead end in minecraft. Well… unless it's bedrock… but it wasn't. Ahem, anyways, I did the most obvious thing and broke the blocks of grass below myself and quickly placed dirt in the hole so the zombie couldn't follow me down and kill him. 

Catching my breath I say to myself "Notch Almighty, if I ever run into a hoard like that again, I'm gonna waste all of my TNT on them, because I hate running. Especially after all of that running to look for the desert temple." 

I quickly placed some torches to see where I was at and after some mining I fell into a huge cave, out of nowhere. Or… it would be huge if this wasn't the caves and cliffs update. And as I was marveling in the beauty of the cave a black leg almost struck me

*Whoosh*

It just barely hit my face. Forcing me to jump backwards. And in the pitch dark area of the cave, I saw two red, piercing eyes glaring down at me from the ceiling in an almost condescending way.

"You smug little bug, do you think you can just attack me and get away with it? Don't you dare look down on me, I've survived a raid and completely destroyed a pillager outpost. YOU think you can look down on me?! Hah, you're just one little spider, what can you do? Watch as I effortlessly sla-" (I don't know what I was on two years ago man, but it must have been a huge dose of Chinese novels, I'm not changing this, you must suffer with me)

*Scritch Scritch Scritch Scuttle Scuttle Scuttle* 

From the darkness multiple red eyes came from the same area the other spider was at. I counted at least twenty pairs of eyes, or is it even pairs when there are six extra eyes on top of the the two large eyes

"Me and my big mouth..." I says exasperatedly.

"Fuck it. I'm not running away from you, I'll just kill you all."

In an instant, my sharp two sword put the spiders to rest. With every swipe of my sword, a spider despawned. Lost in a trance, I didn't notice anything odd until I killed three more spiders after I killed what I thought to be the last spider.

"What the hell? Are there spawners nearby? How are there even more spiders?" I said annoyed "And how am I even meant to find it? This cave is small still quite big even if it's nothing compared to the true monstrous caves in size."

'Maybe if I find another spider and follow it, maybe it'll go back to the spawner?'

While thinking to myself I heard a rattling sound. 

"Well speak of the devil." I said gleefully 

There it was a spider just roaming around, I started to follow the spider with the utmost caution, in other words, shifting, and around around ten minutes later, the spider finally made it back to a room with mossy cobblestone. Ready to break the spider spawners I gripped his pickaxe in anticipation, but what I saw was completely different than what I expected.

There was a giant spider laying eggs, and when I looked all around the room I realized something crazy.

"I'm in a spider's nest from that one game I used to play!" I said with excitement. "Hmm if that's the case then it wouldn't be the best idea to run in blindly… Ugh Why does everything have to be so complicated! This wasn't in minecraft java edition, it wasn't a feature in minecraft at all! This is from an entirely different game! ...But if this was easy I wouldn't enjoy minecraft like I do. Okay, time to go into overtime, let's plan!"

After that I thought long and hard about how I could destroy the spider's nest in one fell swoop until finally I came up with an idea, "Hmm, yeah, now that could work but the question is how to put the plan into motion. Just one wouldn't be enough…"

"Ah, I've got it. A TSTC(Triple Shot TNT Cannon), Although, this is pretty risky since I'm not good at making them, and this caves terrain doesnt exactly support the exact build, it can't be that bad. What's the worst that can happen?

*Fwip Fwip*

*FWIP FWIP FWIP*(Sound Of Many Metaphorical Flags)

Crafting all the necessary materials I swiftly set up the redstone after building the frame. The contraption was quite big, but the cave had enough size to support a modified version of it. To finish it all off, I put a sign on it that had the word TNT in big bold red.

"Ok, first I need to gather all the spiders in one spot so I can save as much TNT as possible."

So, I in misplaced confidence, went right in the middle of the queen's spawning room and yelled.

"Come and get if you can, spider... cunt!" I yelled awkwardly, not exactly prepared to insult a spider, but in an instant, all of the spiders gathered like a moth to a flame. "That worked well… bit too well.''

I immediately sprinted back to the canon, and fired off the triple shot TNT cannon. The TNT blast was amazing, it was the biggest explosion I'd ever created! It blasted the entire room into smithereens. But I accidentally somehow made a quintuple shot cannon. And the frames' design did not allow for the fourth and fifth TNT shot to flow correctly, causing backlash inside of the contraption, blasting him into the ceiling, said ceiling was then exploded by the fifth shot of the tnt cannon, and made me fly through the air, and take massive amounts of damage. His health was down to a meager half a heart. 

"Ugh *Cough Cough*Not my best idea, but it worked in the end somehow. Forget those mobs, I need to get a book. Asap!"

Chapter End