I Can't

Shen's P.O.V

I have groomed myself, bathing and brushing my teeth. I grab the sword that I had pulled out from the hall and let it hang on my belt. It did not have a sheath, much to my dismay. I take a deep breath before opening the cell with pure strength.

After all, me and Lady Chen kissed. Her face was surely cold yet it was burnt red. That was the very first I had seen that kind of expression. And I needed more. The moment I had stepped outside the underground basement, everyone looks at me.

This is it! The criticism.

"It's the hero!"

"Oh, my!"

"Such a powerful young lad!"

"Martial Sister Shen!" the juniors we had with us suddenly runs towards me all at once, bowing down.

"Ah, ah, ah! What happened? What?"

I did not deserve such respect from these innocent people.

"Thank you for saving us all!"

"A-ah,"

Suddenly, something came down from the sky, locking me to the ground. A sudden lick made me open my eyes. After I had locked myself up, they had Sylviath taken care of. Not the gruesome kind o taken care of, they fed him and gave him love kind of take care of.

"Shen is hungry for she starved herself for three days." our heads turn the right side and the sudden race of my heart started.

The events of last night had shaken me up so much that I couldn't hold back my smile. She did not push me or did anything to punish me. She must've liked the kiss, did she not?

"Whe have prepared a feast for you, Martial Sister Shen! Come!"

Before I could say anything, they have dragged me to Yingxiong Hall, where a very long table was filled with food. The instant my nose picked up on the scent, my mouth watered. When was the last time I ate?

I could not say anything. I was so hungry that I started eating it all by myself. You prepared this feast for me, huh? So I will eat this until there is no more left.

"You should have not eaten that much."

*BLURRGHHHH*

"Lady Chen does not know the feeling of hunger."

*BLURGHHHHH*

"Then perhaps not starve yourself."

Despite her cold remarks, she made it her duty to pat my back until I was done. I gargle water to vanish the bitter taste and ate some candy.

"Yum,"

"Everyone now knows how powerful you are, is that okay?"

"Mhm, it can't be helped. That was not yet my full power, Lady Chen."

"I have thought about that."

I look around and saw that no one was near us. But to be sure, I had my power search the vicinity and had the same result.

"Lady Chen,"

"Mhm?"

"I like you, but that must've been obvious."

I stand firm before the one that I love. I shall not waver for I am strong. But goodness! Lady Chen can make my legs tremble! I subtly try to stop my hands from shaking but it was of no use. My hearts beats faster as I can run a mile.

Heavens.

"I-I'm still not familiar with two women i-in a relationship." she blushes as she turns away.

Ah, this woman is much nervous than I am. That somehow relieved me of my anxiousness.

"Lady Chen need not worry. I am not telling you to be my lover."

Ah, my world shook.

"I am merely telling you that I have harbored feelings for you. I know that I shouldn't for you are to be wedded this winter but I just can't help but fall for your cold charms."

"...."

"I do not ask for you to reciprocate my feelings. I only ask of you to not refuse."

I grin, hiding my pain. I do not know how I will live if I were to witness Lady Chen's marriage. My world would crumble if I did.

It has been three days since I had came back from the prison. All activities including the reports from what was seen was being help from the public. The priority of the mass is to get the Island of Grounds to its original state. They had buried the heavenly bird somewhere and thus informed me just now.

"I shall pay a visit, Master Zhao."

"You have not yet recovered fully, Master Shen."

"Nonsense! I can handle myself. I will think of this as one of those hellish days."

Ah, my bone was broken. My right arm, it was broken and I need a maximum of 5 days for it to heal on its own.

"Then I will accompany Shen,"

I flinched when Lady Chen came from behind me. It has been two days since I saw her. I was not avoiding her, I just had a different set of things to do. Who am I fooling.

"N-no, it's okay. I can go by myself."

"I insist."

"That would be great, Disciple Chen."

"I'm fine, Master Zhao."

"I insist, Shen." I shivered as I felt a sharp dagger on my side, a cold dagger to be exact. I gulped.

Goodness. This lady is ready to kill me anytime!

"C-c-cool. L-let's go."

Master Zhao sees us to the gate and went back inside as soon as we were outside. I did not want to look at her so I try to walk a little faster but an ice dagger was suddenly formed in front of me. I slowed down my pace until Lady Chen was right beside me. People greeted us on the way which I gladly greeted back. When we were outside the civilized part of the Island of the Grounds, we came across trees so big that we looked like ants.

This is a perfect site to bury such an enormous bird.

"Are you avoiding me, Shen?"

"Whaaat? Pfft, noooo,"

"Really?"

"Yessss,"

I'm totally being obvious right now.

"If you keep lying, then I will skin you to death."

"I am sooo not lying, Lady Chen-"

She pushes me on to the tree, closing our gaps. She puts a hand beside my face to prevent me from escaping. I look down, avoiding her eyes but she lifts my chin with her fingers.

"Uhh,"

I had missed her shining silver hair and her beautiful face. Her lips when we kissed were so soft- goodness. She is about to devour my soul and I am here, remembering such a moment.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I-"

"I will skin you to death."

HEAVENS!

"I could not face the truth!"

"The truth? That I did not accept your feelings?"

Huh?

"What? Am I that childish?"

"If not, then what?"

"I merely am saddened by the fact that you are to be wedded this winter. I am establishing distance so that if you get married, I will not have a hard time being away from you."

Me? Childish?

"Your way of thinking is.."

"I know, childish. Hmph."

I pouted, crossing my arms.

"When I saw you on the verge of dying, I had thought that it was my fault."

My arms fell slowly to the side as I see another side of Lady Chen. She was such a composed woman with no flaws. She had hidden her emotions well but right now, she was breaking down. Her tearful eyes had me worry and swore that I will not let her cry again.

"It would never be Lady Chen's fault. I'm sorry I made you worry."

"Idiot. I am worrying because I don't want to see you go."

"I thought because you didn't want to lose such a loving junior."

Tears streaming down her face, she smashes our lips together. She tasted a little salty but I did not push her away. Her lips were still so soft. I grab her hands and placed them on my neck. It was a passionate kiss and no one was moving but on some point, I was not satisfied as I had moved. I tilt my head to the side a bit more and bit her lower lip. She had taken my lead until we had gasped for air.

"So you do love me."

"I have no intentions in hiding that fact."

"You said you weren't familiar with two women," I tuck a strand behind her ear and hugged her slender waist.

"I was going to tell you to make me."

I kiss her again but this time, it was short and chaste.

"Come on, let's pay our respects."

"Aye!"

She walks in front as she says that she knows where the tomb is. Does this mean that we're lovers now? Does it mean that I can do erotic things with her? Ah, I can feel my face heat up as I imagine her naked body under my touch.

"Are you feeling alright?"

Ah, how could Lady Chen be so composed even though what we did was beyond imagination?

Huh?

Lady Chen's hands were shaking so much that I thought her hands were ill. I smile to myself. Lady Chen is as nervous as I am. I walk up to her and grab one of her hands. She looks at me but I just gave her a smile.

"Lady Chen is so cute."

"I am not."

"Yes you are."

"Why are you blushing?"

"Blushing?"

"Your face is red, Lady Chen."

"Just shut up."

I continue to tease her until we arrived. When I was in front of the tomb, I knelt down and rested my head on the ground. This heavenly bird did not need to ascend to heaven. It did nothing wrong.

"I swear that I will capture those scoundrels and avenge your death."

Lady Chen kneels down beside me and bows her head a little, paying respects to the bird.

"I shall journey with you."

"It will be a dangerous path, Lady Chen."

"It is better than to leave you alone. Also, I have seen the man's face."

I sat upright, looking at Lady Chen with disbelief.

"What?"

"When I went to scout, I saw men guarding the deceased heavenly bird. It had a chain around it and a it was in some sort of trance."

"You saw the man's face?"

"Yes. I was about to retreat and report, but then that happened."

"Oh,"

We can track that bastard easily now.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Lady Chen's hands on top of mine.

"I don't want to see you in that state again."

"Lady Chen need not worry."

"But I do worry."

As much as I am touched, Lady Chen's expression was cold but subtly warm. My heart fluttered at her words, as if I was touched by heaven itself.

"If I ever disappea-"

She kisses me, interrupting my sentence.

"You will not disappear, you hear me? I will kill you if you disappear."

I smile feeling bliss course through my body.

"As you wish, Lady Chen."

After we paid respects to the heavenly bird, we went back to the manor hand in hand. Everyone was looking at us but Lady Chen did not let go of my hand. I had told her that everyone will know and she said, "do I look like I care?" Such sass.

"I see that you're both in good terms now."

Master Zhao looks at our hands intertwined. Lady Chen firmly grips my hand. She did not have any intentions of letting go. I am honored and happy but you know, I do not want Lady Chen to be seen as something else than magnificent.

"You are to spend your nights with me starting now."

"Huh?"

"That was fast."

"What?" me and Master Zhao exchanges looks.

"Come,"

She pulls me towards her chamber, directly locking the door once we were inside. My heart pounded out of my chest. Did she want to do things? Did she want to push things forward? Is it okay like this?

"Hold me,"

"Uhm,"

"Hurry," her eyes started to well up tears again.

I slowly went to Lady Chen's side, embracing her. I wrap my arms around her as if I was protecting her from something invisible. I kiss her forehead.

"Is something wrong?"

"I know that you're at greater risk than me for you are the heroes daughter."

She must've read through what I said earlier.

".."

"I know that like the hero, you are sent here to finish something that lingered from years ago."

I remained silent. How could I reply? She was in this state because of me and I did not say anything yet she had thought it all by herself.

"This is your fault. You made me harbor such romantic feelings for you."

"Now, I don't want to let you go."

"I'm not leaving you until you are to leave me."

"I will never let you leave me. You are bound to be my knight."

I smile.

"Of course. Now, stop crying. It is almost supper."

"Promise me."

"What?"

"Promise me that you won't leave."

"That's.."

"Promise me!" she bursts.

"I... promise."

And I'm sorry.