The Goddess Vision

I calmed myself by the time I reached the hutch-cave. Many thoughts of being Havenbound ran through my mind and I let them play. Perhaps if I welcomed my Goddess within, I could communicate with my Draconai, silently telling him to remember himself?

There are four of us. Darkness-named-Draconai was the first, I was the second, Life-named-Brigid was third, and the fourth was Phoenix-named-Brakkon. I have not thought about my Goddess within for so long, I almost forgot who I was. It felt like eons since our lesser Gods and Goddesses worked their magic together and exiled us to the Realms, forcing us Realmbound. They were jealous of the tight bond between the four of us, and how we oversaw the Fifth Pillar we named Ishanar.

According to the eldest member of the Dratianos line, Arturo, the Goddess of Chaos, Sai'brenn'a, visited him. He thwarted her many attempts to gain his affections, so she cursed him and his entire lineage. All who bore the Dratianos name, whether they were born or mated into it, were cursed to never ascend to the Havens upon their death. They would be lulled into "Sleeping Death," a type of death that froze them in space and time.

Being once-Havenbound Gods, Draconis, Brakkon and I were unaffected by the curse. Upon our Realmbound deaths, we would immediately reincarnate with memories of the previous incarnation intact.

With thoughts of my Draconai, the Darkness to my Light, I headed to the garden on a mission. I would search for him in my mind, no matter how far he was in his Chaos, and remind him of his God status. I hoped the mind-link between us was still strong enough to reach him.

I found the best place for meditation and shifted to my Ai'sha-as-Light form: silver hair that danced in the breeze surrounding my body and changing my appearance, glinting silver eyes, glowing silvery-white skin and sheer white gown with a soft silk scarf that could serve as angelic wings. I closed my eyes to breathe in the cool mountain air and listen to Earth Mother's joyful song. I knelt in front of the nearby waterfall, mind searching for his.

I was unable to find him; it was as if he blocked me out. The fact saddened me, for it indicated he was no longer himself; rather, the Realmbound version of the God of Chaos we humorously named Kaos.

In an act of desperation and invoking my Goddess power, I sent to him a memory from before jealousy took over our fellow Gods.

Draconai. Ki'ash'ka te're'eina. I sent to him, using the Ancient Draconian tongue. Remember yourself. Again, I was welcomed with an uncomfortable, eerie silence that buzzed in my ears.

I took a deep breath and sent a vision of love and kindness through the link.

We held each other close, looking deep into each another's eyes. Draconai's Immortal wings were black as the very shadows and darkness that gave him his name. They wrapped around my pure white Immortal form. I could see my own long lengths of silver hair reflected in his dark eyes; sliver eyes full of love for him. His locks of midnight hair danced in the wind of magic that surrounded us.

"Ai'sha," he whispered lovingly, bending down to kiss my lips. "I love thee more than I love myself. You are my Light, my beacon, my shining star – you are everything to me."

"Draconai, my beloved," My silver gaze never wavered from his. "You are the Darkness and the Shadows, my safety in the night. Yours are the arms and wings in which my soul belongs. As I am yours, you are my All. I never want to part from your embrace."

"You know it is inevitable my love." Draconai told me, eyes closing. His wings tightened around me as he whispered in my ear. "We cannot remain here in the Havens as long as our people need us below. They need to know our story, so that they may one day learn of their true Creators. They will worship us as their Gods."

"I wish no worship. That is not what Light is about." I told him, pushing away and folding my arms. "I want to stay here, with you, for eternity. You promised me this when we created the Havens and The Lower Realms."

"I promised no such thing." Draconai said softly, shaking his head.

"Surely, we cannot leave Brigid and Brakkon in charge of the Havens?" I admonished. "Life and Phoenix have their places below, not above!"

"They will join us, of course."

"Join us? Where?" I was curious. "The Four Pillars of Existence -- us, may I remind you – within the Lower Realms?"

He refused to speak, telling me he had a Vision.

I was curious, for his eyes closed and face smiling. "What have you Seen?"

Draconai nodded out of his daze. "There will be a Fifth Pillar, and we must journey below to create it."

"A Fifth?" I was confused as I stepped closer to him and tried to read his black eyes. "We have Pillar of Light in me, Darkness in you, Life in Brigid and finally Phoenix in Brakkon. What more do we need for existence?"

Draconai smiled, taking my hands and kissing them. "Spirit."

"Spirit." I echoed, watching him.

"Oh, aye." Draconai pulled me to his chest, wrapping his wings around me. His embrace belied his true nature, voice soft as silk. "The very soul, magic and love that connects every being and thing Created, from plants to animals, stone to fire, winds to waters. All that we Create will remain Connected through the Fifth Pillar, that of Spirit, and we to it."

"Does this Pillar of Spirit have a name, or a location?" I teased him, knowing full well the answer to my own question would come in time.

Draconai merely smiled, bending down once again to kiss me.

∞∞∞

That was before we were exiled to the Lower Realms by our brethren. Brakkon and Brigid were waiting for us when we first arrived. That was the day we created the Fifth Pillar named Ishanar, the very birth of the Dragon Nations.

Hundreds of years later, and our first incarnation to the Lower Realms, we were connected to Ishanar for the first time. I met Draconis in Jeweler Sebastian's shop, we were mated the next full moon and inducted as Lord Emperor and Lady Empress in his Dratyr's place. For years, we were at peace, and the Dragon Throne was secured when we had our first youngling, Kronin.

This is the hardest part of all to remember. A tear dared escape from my eye as I ran through the memories of my Kano and twin Kanas.

During my reign, I suffered from what my Wolfkin Matéré called "Vision-Sickness," but soon it went deeper than that. What started as Visions of Chaos and destruction in the future soon became Goddess Visions, of three Realmbound Pillars fighting against each other, Draconis-named-Draconai against his Dratyr Brakkon-named-Death.

Those Visions awoke something within me, for I was Ai'sha-named-Light, and at a loss. I tried reasoning with them, but it was too late. Brakkon turned into his own Chaos form he named Thorn and Draconis was forced into his Kaos form to battle him. The last I knew of Draconai's sanity was the exiling of Thorn from Brakkon's physical body.

Lord of the Demon Realm, Archimonde used this distraction to attack the Nations. Mal'estar's atmosphere turned from peaceful to malevolent and evil within weeks. Our armies led by my Dratyr Sir Airemus and Draconis' younger brother Dranus were on the front lines. Dranus' twin Alexia fought with them beside her mate, my younger brother Anton, as did my sister Adarra and her mate Drakkar, Draconis' twin.

Women were needed at Mal'estar's Castle as most of the men were fighting in the battle. I was faced with many a responsibility while my Lord and his Dratyr were in battle. My meager battles with mind-numbing visions were the least of my worries as Lady Empress. Matéré was needed with Lady Locarra, who was quickly fading from this life, the unknown illness coursing through her body. As the illness took her health away, it also took her sanity. The Mystic spells she was teaching me turned from light to dark. I feared not only for her but also for the entire Dragon Nations. I also feared for my own loss of sanity; though it was next to impossible for Light to turn Chaotic.

One quiet night, I found myself looking to the stars above for answers. I felt helpless, as those I loved were either dying or losing themselves in chaos. I woke up in blood-soaked bed sheets and a heavy heart more than once during the Demon Wars. As I searched for answers, my attention focused on keeping the Nations in once piece, searching for a cure to Lady Locarra's sickness, being a Matéré to my own children, and Empress of Mal'estar.

∞∞∞

I let the memories fade to the farthest reaches of my mind, returning only when all was at peace and I could do so without the feelings of anguish and pain. Now I had to be stronger than ever. I had to be a Goddess and mend what my mate broke.

I was concerned for the Male Pillars and thought of my Sister-Pillar, Goddess Brigid. Brigid was the Pillar of Life and the only one of us not Realmbound. She was thankfully still in the Havens, watching over us from above.

Brigid, my Sister, come to me. I pleaded in my mind, sending a wave of desperation down the empathic tie. Tears fought to escape, but I had to remain calm. My heart breaks and my soul aches for my Draconai, yet I cannot return to his side. He has turned against his own Dratyr-Brother God Brakkon, who has also turned against our people. Please. Take me away from this cruel twist of fate in which our Brethren Gods have seen fit to weave as our lives. I can take the loneliness and despair no longer.

I laid in the soft ground of my flower garden, next to the rose in bloom. I curled into a ball, the scents of spring surrounding me like a comforting blanket. I wrapped gossamer wings around me and hid my face from the world as tears burst from silver eyes.

I tried connecting with Ishanar, our physical Pillar of Spirit. Sure enough, the protective shield that hid it from the rest of the Realms was cracking. The fate of balance was unknown, teetering on Darkness and Death. Without balance, all was on the edge of extinction.

Links from Ishanar to the other three Pillars were weakening. I followed the one that led to Draconai. It was breaking, turning from his Darkness and Kaos. I followed the one that led to Brakkon. His branched in twain. One branch was dark and red, fully chaotic. That had to have been his chaotic conscience we named Thorn. The other was Brakkon himself, confusion radiating down the line. It saddened me he detached from us.

I then followed the link to my Sister-Pillar, Brigid-named-Life. It was warm and comforting. Within moments of my tracing her link, Brigid herself came to my side.

I answer your call, dear Sister Ai'sha, and can feel your pain. The airy female voice of Brigid whispered in my mind and I could feel her gentle hands touch my head. The warmth soothed my tears. Let it all out, Sister. The pain will end soon, and another life shall be waiting for you on the other side of Summerland.

We cannot go to Summerland, I reminded her. We are Gods, not Mortals.

Dry your tears then, Ai. Brigid used my Goddess nickname as she took me into her arms for a hug. If our Brethren will not find a better place for you, I will. Am I not Life? Am I not your sister-Pillar, who helped Create the Worlds and the Fifth Pillar Ishanar?

I looked into her silver eyes. Aye, Sister, but where shall I go?

Brigid smiled, placing a finger on my lips. A Realm far from here has seen neither Brothers' destruction. I have seen it in my stones that this Realm, the Illunae, is in dire need of a Priestess.

Just a Priestess? I bit my lip, curious yet unsure I wanted to know. That is it?

When has anything I have ever seen been so simple? Brigid asked me with a teasing grin. She pulled away from the hug. Now then, your time here has ended, for there is naught more you can do for either of them. When you sleep tonight, your soul and body shall disappear from this place.

Will I have my memories when I reawaken?

Brigid thought for a moment. That would be up to you. Do you wish to retain them?

I looked down. Nay, but by any chance he should come to me there, I want to remember everything.

Take care of what you wish, Sister. Brigid supplied in my mind. Only reveal what needs to be, should the occasion call for it. You are Light, gentle and kind.

I was hoping that kindness would lead him back to me someday. I thought back, standing and searching the sky for the moon we named Luna. She was full in the sky, for the sun had disappeared from the horizon hours ago. I hope that would be enough.

Brigid stood and placed a hand on my shoulder. In time, it shall be enough. I can promise you that.

I felt the gentle wind play with my hair, signaling Brigid's departure. Tucking my hair behind my ear, I met Luna's bright glow from above and closed my eyes.

With a happy sigh and anticipation of what was to come, I opened my eyes and shifted back to my DragonWolf form as I headed back inside the hutch-cave. I was on automatic as I moved to my bed, welcoming sleep there for the last time.

Just as my head met the pillow, Brigid whispered in my ear. So to rest go your weary soul.

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