Hate and Tolerate

"I told you never to come back" growls Alpha Adam. His voice sounds distant and far away. I'm drawn to someone here. The smell of fresh cut grass and musk is even stronger, almost over powering. I search the crowd, catching the eyes of many I remember including Rowan. Finally slightly behind the right of Alpha Adam I catch his eye and instantly step towards him as my wolf howls 'MATE!' in my head. Several wolves growl and suddenly I feel him push me back and stand over me protectively. "What is this Skylar?" Alpha Adam questions his beta. "She's my mate" Skylar, the beta of my old pack says possessively "and I won't stand for their behavior towards her".

We're back at the pack house. I can hear yelling from down the hall. I can also hear distant sobbing from my mother. Word must have reached her and my father that I'm here, she's probably begging to see me and terrified they'll kill me. Honestly I'm terrified too, that's the punishment for my return… death. 'Can you shut up already?? I'm trying to hear our mates voice!' The annoyance in my wolves voice is prevalent. I try to keep my thoughts quiet and listen to the yelling. "SHE'S BEEN EXILED" "I DONT CARE! YOU KNOW IVE BEEN WAITING TO FIND MY MATE AND HERE SHE IS!" Suddenly the door swings open and two guards step in. "The alpha has requested to see you immediately" Rowan says without any emotion in his voice or expression. They both step aside allowing me through the door before following me down the hallway.

I stop outside the Alphas office and take a deep breath. Rowan steps around me and knocks before opening the door. I can hear the yelling inside immediately stop as I step into the room. Before I have a chance to even look around Skylar is at my side. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, I hear his heart rate slow down and realize he's using my scent and presence to calm himself. I meekly glance towards Alpha Adam and see the fire blazing in his eyes. "I never meant for anything to happen to Lucy that night…. I loved her like a little sister. I still mourn for her every night" I bow my head respectively. Alpha Adam stares at me silently for what seems like an eternity before speaking, "Since I care about and respect my beta, you are permitted to stay under certain circumstances. First, you are not allowed to leave the pack house unsupervised, that includes going into the woods. Second, you will not speak to my wife or my child unless I or my wife approach you first. Third, if you do anything, and I mean anything that even remotely jeopardizes a member of this pack you will face your punishment for returning." I can't help but bow my head lower under his stare and the dominance of his alpha voice. "Yes Alpha" I manage to whisper. "Good, now Skylar will show you to your quarters." And with that he dismisses us from his presence.

Skylar leads me back down the hall silently. The guards are long gone, since I'm currently no longer deemed a threat. We do pass a few other pack members as we make our way down familiar hallways. All of them give my looks of disappointment and shock. No one smiles or offers any welcoming to me. I decide to stare at the ground until we get to my room. I think of sweet Lucy, she would be 6 now. I think of my parents, how excited I am to finally see them. I wonder if they live in the pack house or if they have their own house in the village. I wish I could live with them. At least they would treat me well. Finally Skylar stops outside a door "This will be your room for now" he swings the door open and steps aside to allow me to enter.

After letting me look around the room, Skylar finally clears his throat. I turn to look at him. Actually look at him. He's tall, probably around 6'3" if I had to guess. He's muscular, which is no shocker as he is a werewolf. His hair is a dark copper brown, which compliments his deep green eyes and tanned skin. He's handsome to say the least. "So, obviously I know why no one here likes you, but what the heck Sophia! Why did you let that happen to Lucy? I want to hear your side of the story." He stares at me awaiting an answer. "I won training that day…" I begin and a tell him my side of the story. My side which does not make me anymore innocent. My side which may just make my mate reject me. 'Don't think like that' snaps my wolf, 'we couldn't handle anymore heartbreak'.

"So it really is true. I always wondered if how I was told the story was true, or if it was distorted by the hate the alpha had for you." I sigh, "yeah it's true". "I couldn't believe it when alpha called me back from my trip early, I wonder what would've happened had I never gone. I would've seen you when you turned 16 and we would've know we were mates then. But instead I left a month before your birthday and wasn't due to get back until a month later." I sat there letting what he said sink in. Reading between the lines, I had the same question. If we found out we were mates before the incident would I have been exiled? Better yet, would it have ever happened in the first place. Suddenly he said something that snapped me out of my deep thoughts. "I won't reject you, not yet any way, but it doesn't mean I'm ready to love you. You need to prove to me that you're worth that. You need to prove it to everyone." And with that he closed the door and left me alone. And I finally realized where I stood with everyone.

I was not loved, i was not accepted. I was tolerated.