Chapter One

FIVE YEARS AGO....

She couldn't believe it.

Habiba looked down at the phone she was holding, his phone. She had no idea he even owned a spare, well at least up until that moment.

" Ahmad: I need to go, talk later.

Amal: I love you *kissing smiley*

Ahmad: *kissing smiley* "

The chats were hurting her, she felt like they had hands that threw punches at her insides every time she took a glance at them.

"Fuck fuck fuck" she wasn't one to swear, or have dry eyes at unbelievable moments. She wasn't crying but she knew it was just a delay, her tears never seized to betray her. Habiba held each temple with her hands as she rested her head on the dashboard, the glove box she retrieved the phone from was still open. A thousand thoughts were running through her mind.

Why, why would Madu (Ahmad) do this to her? After everything they've been through? After everything he said? Was he lying? He definitely was lying. All and everything he ever said and promised was to fool her. How stupid could she be? Did she really think she was enough to change him? He was a man after all, and all men are scum. All men are scum and she should have known better than to think he was different.

"Baby?" she heard Ahmad's voice which was muffled by the cars side windows which were rolled up, a habit she always exercised whenever she was left alone in a car. The car keys were with her and the doors were locked as well. Habiba contemplated driving off in his car leaving him stranded but unfortunately, she couldn't drive. "Lolo are you okay?" she could tell he knew something was wrong. She wasn't smiling and being a chatter box like usual.

Ahmad heard the sound of the car unlocking as Habiba pressed the unlock button on the car keys. He opened the door and sat down facing her. Immediately, Habiba's heart felt ten times heavier, her throat got so tight she knew if she spoke too much her tears would spill and the last thing in the world she wanted was to cry in front of him, he did not deserve it. She hated him so much she wanted to slap him, but such action would've caused all the tears she had gushing out and she didn't want to look like a pathetic crying woman who was hitting her partner for being unfateful.

"Lolo na mene" (my Lolo what's wrong?)he said as he took her hands in his.

That was the breaking point for Habiba, she couldn't control her tears anymore. She had earlier made up her mind not to say anything about it until he dropped her off at home, but seeing him in front of her with a hypocritical expression on his face made all rational thoughts fly out of the window. How dare he pretend to care, how dare he.

Tears blurred her her vision as she looked up at him, she couldn't believe that the man she loved so much, the man she trusted and hoped to spend the rest of her life with would betray her like this. She never saw it coming, but again, didn't she?

The tears from Habiba's eyes startled Ahmad,

He had left her in the car to get the baking pan her mum had asked her to pickup on their way back. Habiba hated going into the local store because she always met people she knew so she asked Ahmad to get the pan while she waited in the car. What could have happened in the short time he was away? She looked so hurt Ahmad almost couldn't bare it. He was just about to ask what happened again when he noticed the phone in her hands. Ahmad could feel his heart dropping to the ground.

"Calm down" Ahmad told himself "she didn't see anything, she's not one to snoop" his heart was beating so fast, he had no idea how she even found the phone. How could he have been so careless, how did he even leave the phone in his car?

His thoughts went back to earlier that day when he left his house to refill his oil tank.

Ahmad remembered he was chatting with Amal after Subhi (early morning prayer) when his mum (Mama Umma) had asked him to refill his car early because she wanted him to take her to the local market that was outside town by eight am. He had gone out to the filling station with the phone, he remembered sending Amal a text that he had to go. The last thing he could remember was throwing the phone in the glove box.

Habiba's tears glistened, they were at the very tip of her eyelids. All they needed was a push to come running down, Ahmad could see she was fighting very hard to keep them at bay. She saw him notice the phone in her hands, she saw the look on his face and it made her even more angry that he was ashamed of being caught, not of cheating.

"How could you"

"Lolo I.."

Ahmad trailed off... he had no idea what to say. He was filled with guilt.

Habiba stared at him with so much disgust, he didn't even have a decent word to explain himself.

"Take me home Ahmad"

She only called him that when she was mad but this time her voice was filled with disappointment, and it felt ten times worse.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Lolo it's not what it seems I can exp..."

"Take me home or I'll walk there myself" Habiba cut him short. She had no idea what she was saying, she just wanted him to shut up. She couldn't stand him, Habiba wanted to safely ball her eyes out at home, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of unnecessary drama.

She would just go home, close the door and never return into his life.

Simple.

Or not.

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