Chapter 4: Poor Environment
While things were already on a downwards spiral, like a prop plane with a blown engine. Things, believe it or not, got worse. Everything that happened next revolved around my stepfather and is the reason why I loathe him so much. The Drinking, The smoking, the swearing was okay, I could deal with that. Even though It wasn't good for me as a, then, six-year-old child. Because of all the second-hand smoke, whenever I was with them I'd cough my lungs out. Of course, I wasn't the only one the smoke had an effect on.
One day at the end of September my mother picked me up from daycare after she had gotten off work. Afterward, we'd gone to a corner store to grab something to fix for dinner. As we got back to the apartment we could hear a loud sobbing coming from inside. Mom pushed the door open revealing drunk out of his mind Gaben sitting on the floor. That was the day he found out he had lung cancer.
Back then treatment wasn't as good as treatment someone can get today. So he was almost certain that it was going to kill him. This was where the promises began. Those famous promises people make, and never keep. One like "I promise we'll get through this." "I promise I'll stop smoking" and so on. It's interesting how many promises people make when they think they're going to die.
The very next morning Gaben went to work drunk as a skunk. Obviously this didn't bode over well with his boss who promptly called him a cab and told him to go home and never come back. All he could do was grab his things and oblige, after all, there was no point in him making himself out to be an even bigger idiot than what he already had. Being arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct isn't exactly something anyone wants on their record.
On his way home he asked the cabbie to pick me up from school. I was surprised when I walked out to see him in the back of a taxi. Though I was happy to be able to go home early as school was never really my thing. Weirdly enough he was so friendly as I got in the car he greeted me with a "Hey buddy". Maybe he was trying to hide the fact that he was so distressed. angry and mad at the world for kicking him while he was already down.
To be fair to the dirtbag he did have a lot go wrong in quick succession. He lost what he thought was his kid, found out he had cancer, and lost his job. The problem is that he let those things build up into anger. Gaben wasn't the type to get a membership at a gym and take out his anger on a real punching bag. Rather, he was the type to pick me up early from school, get drunk and beat on me instead. He beat on me while telling me why I was so worthless.
One would think that a mother would see this and immediately put an end to it. That, a mother would never allow a man to beat on her child. But in her mind, the excuse he gave was enough, not to prompt any more questions. "He got into a fight..." he said... "Had to pick him up early from his school." For some reason, she was okay with that. Maybe it was out of fear, knowing that if she said something, he could do the same to her. Whatever her reason, I hated her for it. As long as she didn't question It, she was promoting it.
Once he knew he could beat me like I was some stray dog and get away with it, he'd beat me over and over. Apparently It made him feel better about himself... Some sick kind of way he got off from watching me bleed and cry. And I couldn't do anything about it, seeing as how he threatened to hurt my mother if I said anything. I guess I didn't get back then that If he was in jail, it wasn't like he'd be able to hurt anyone.
I guess that warning served as my parting gift because the very next week, I'd be back at what I really considered home with my Dad and my baby brother. In a way, I kinda forgot what it was like to live in a peaceful home again. My dad didn't smoke, he never swore, and he hardly ever drank. In comparison to Kait and Gaben, he was like an angel. I loved it, I felt like I was living in one of those tv shows where the family is perfect.
My dad wasn't blind though. He asked me about the bruises which I would just lie about. It wasn't like I could tell him the truth. Nor was It like my dad couldn't tell when I was lying. He'd never given up trying to gain full custody over me after the day he saw my bruises. and burns. Burns from where Gaben would put his cigarettes out on my back. But It boiled down to me, who constantly denied any accusations against the guy who had done those things to me. So as July came around, there was nothing my dad could do other than send me back.
After all, there was a chance that Gaben would have changed. That Gaben wouldn't be so angry any more like he was before... But in the end, thinking like that was nothing more than wishful. As I got off of the plane I was greeted by Gaben. When I asked where my mother was, I learned that she was away on a business trip.
She had to translate overseas for an important conference between a ton of different companies. After she found out Gaben lost his job, she went and got a better one to help pay the bills. She started working as the lead translator for some fortune 500 company I always forget about. But she wasn't meant to be back in Washington, DC until the week after I got there.
Gaben was different though. He was nicer, and he seemed more receptive. One of the first days of that first week we'd gone to the park, and he bought me ice cream. Even still though, I feared him. Anytime he'd lift his hand or anything of that sort, My body would freeze up. It was due to my body trying to brace itself for being hit. Regardless of all the nice guy stuff, he was doing my nerves in, and I knew better than to let my guard down again.