Chapter 41: Dream of Otherselves

PoV Zane

As we stepped outside, the underground air felt refreshing against my skin.

"Zane," Kaeii began, breaking the silence, "you know she cares about you, right? Arisa isn't just our boss. She's our friend, and she's looking out for you."

I looked at him, surprised by his perceptiveness. "Yeah, I know," I replied, the corner of my mouth lifting in a half-smile. "It's just hard, you know? To step back when there's so much at stake."

Kaeii nodded. "I get it. But sometimes, stepping back is what keeps us from breaking. You'll come back stronger, and Arisa knows that. She wouldn't have suggested it otherwise."

We walked in silence, looking down at the busy town we had built with Arisa. It was a rare moment of peace amidst the chaos of war.

After a while, I spoke up. "I'll take the break, but I'm doing it for the resistance, for our future... and maybe for a chance to see where things could go with Arisa once this is all over."

Kaeii clapped me on the back, a wide grin on his face. "That's the spirit! And who knows, maybe she's thinking the same thing."

I smiled. Hopefully, he was right. But the boss was probably too busy to think about relationships. It was best I also didn't think of it.

My eyes turned toward Kaeii. "Say, you should go take a shower and put on a shirt."

He laughed. "True. But who will take care of you, little buddy?"

I crossed my arms. "Don't call me little! Also, we aren't buddies!"

He laughed. "You're in denial."

"Am not!"

The himbo continued laughing. "Well, if we aren't buddies, then I guess I'm just your guardian angel in disguise."

I couldn't help but crack a smile at his antics. "Guardian angel? More like a constant annoyance," I shot back, but the warmth in my voice betrayed my true feelings.

He raised his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright, I'll go clean up. But you," he pointed at me with a stern look that was all too rare for him, "you better actually take this break seriously. Rest, Zane. It's an order from your 'not buddy.'"

I watched him leave, his footsteps fading into the distance. A small smile crossed my lips. That guy was really a difficult one to understand. He was always flirting with me. His laughter often left me unsure of where he stood, but his loyalty was as solid as the ground beneath our feet.

"Flirting?" I muttered to myself, shaking my head. "More like relentless teasing."

I frowned as I realized his sweat was all on me. It was probably best I took a shower of my own.

Taking a deep breath, I headed back to the barracks as the town went about its morning.

The barracks were quiet, most of the fighters already out training or on duty. The solitude was a stark contrast to the usual bustle, and it gave me a moment to gather my thoughts. Kaeii's teasing still echoed in my mind, a reminder of the camaraderie that kept us all sane in these trying times. Even if at times, it had the opposite effect on some of us, namely me.

I stepped into the shower, letting the cool water wash over me. It was a cleansing ritual, not just of the body but of the spirit. The droplets traced paths down my skin, taking with them the tension and the remnants of yesterday's skirmishes.

As I stood there, the water grounding me back to reality, I realized that this break might be exactly what I needed. A chance to recharge, to reflect on the war and my place in it. And maybe, just maybe, to consider what life could be after victory—after the dust settled and we could all lay down our arms.

Drying off, I dressed in fresh clothes and jumped into my bed and closed my eyes.

As I drifted to sleep, I saw different versions of me. One was a shy boy in a small but somewhat futuristic city by Soleon standards. Several images flashed before my head, including that of a red-haired Arisa kissing the other me. Though there was also a guy who reminded me of Kaeii, putting his lips on mine.

I jerked back and found myself in what looked be a palace.

Another me, this one blond, trained as hard as I was alongside a guy who looked a lot like Kaeii. But unlike the other guy and Kaeii, this guy was well dressed and smelled nice. Was he a prince?

The other me and the prince dissolved into sand, replaced by a black haired me with eyes the color of my bow and a flirty, red-eyed and lighter skinned version of the prince. The other Kaeii was mercilessly wailing on me, not allowing me a chance to shoot the futuristic black Titanos-like weapon in my hands.

I gasped and found myself engaging in sparring matches against other mechas. But they didn't seem to be from Titanos. They looked even more sleeker and colorful. The other me had a large smile on his face.

Next, I saw a pink haired boy dressed in girl clothes, singing in front of mirror with a strange bulbous rod in his hands. He danced around and smiled. Suddenly, the mirror shattered, showing images of the boy getting beaten up by masked individuals.

I gulped as the room shattered like the mirror. I stood in what looked to be a camp, walking behind a lady resembling Arisa. She was wore a black uniform, similar to those worn by the Titanos. My heart beated rapidly as I followed her, but there was something disturbing about the surroundings and our clothes.

Stopping, I shook my head and gasped. I found myself dressed in black like the Arisa-like lady. The same lady waved at me, smiling. I smiled back and turned fo see Ret, also dressed in a black suit. He smiled slightly as soon as he saw me.

"Nice to see you, Commanders."

I shot up from bed and gasped. Ugh. Did I really just dream of being a Titanos Commander? How disgusting. Worse, I was a soldier in one of them too!

The shock of the dream lingered as I sat on the edge of my bed, trying to shake off the unsettling images. It was just a dream, I told myself, a jumble of fears and subconscious thoughts. But it felt like a warning, a reminder of the thin line I walked every day in this war.

I stood up, pacing the room to clear my head. The thought of being anything like Titanos, let alone a commander, was abhorrent. It was everything I stood against, everything I was fighting to overthrow.

I grabbed my bow, the familiar weight a comfort in my hands. I would go to the training grounds, not to fight or to train, but to reflect. To stand where I had stood so many times before, where I had honed my skills and strengthened my resolve.

The training grounds were empty at this hour, the silence a stark contrast to the usual sounds of weapons and fists clashing. I walked to the center, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I could almost hear the echoes of past battles, the shouts of my comrades, the clash of wills.

"Never like them," I whispered. "Never like Titanos."

I opened my eyes, my gaze falling on the targets scattered around the room. They were just straw and cloth, but they represented the enemy. I nocked an arrow, drawing the string back with a steady hand.

I wasn't aiming to hit the bullseye. I was aiming to remind myself of my purpose. With a steady breath, I released the arrow. It flew true, hitting the target with a satisfying thud.

I would return to the fight soon, but I would return with a heart unclouded by anxiety and doubt. Although, what did the others versions I saw represent? And why did Kaeii appear in my dream? And of kissing him. Well, a guy similar to him. Why couldn't it have just been that other Arisa? Was I a two-timer or something?

"Why Kaeii too?" I murmured to the empty room. The question hung in the air, unanswered. The dreams had been vivid, disorienting—a mosaic of possible lives, each with its own set of challenges and relationships. But it was the intimacy, the closeness with people like ones I knew that left me unsettled.

I nocked another arrow, focusing on the feel of the bow, the tension in the string. It was grounding, a physical connection to the world I knew, a world where I fought for freedom, not tyranny, unlike the last alternate version in the dream.

The arrow flew, another thud, another reminder of my purpose. I was not a two-timer, not a traitor. I was a fighter, a protector. The dreams were just dreams. Nothing more, nothing less. There was no way Arisa or I could be Titanos. None! At least, not the us that grew up in Soleon. 

My eyes went to the straw dummies. Did other versions of us really exist? N-no! That couldn't be right... Even in other scenarios, I wouldn't be fighting for Titanos. Or would I? Would a me who grew up in Titanos not realize what villains they truly were? Or would Titanos warp my mind into becoming a villain? The thought alone was disturbing.