Gotta Have It!*

*Months later*

*Tia*

I'm starting my senior year in a few days and I'm anxious to do this class!

I feel like I see the end of the first tunnel, I hope to get there.

I burned like crazy these holidays while your relative Nadine strutted around France with her new pigeon.

I simply told him that if his boyfriend dares to touch me or give me a single look when he comes here, I will fight him and leave an indelible mark on him.

Don't tell me to cure my aggression, no no! I will be aggressive until the end, I only have that to defend myself in this shitty life.

***

I didn't know that doing Terminale was so complicated, so much so that I'm thinking about a very complex choice!

I want to focus on my school year and stop working at the bar in the new year.

But if I stop, it means that I will have to dip into my savings for 7 months.

Me (aloud): Ooh that's hot.

Professor: And what's hot Miss OYE?

Me (realizing): I wasn't following you sir, I was somewhere else!

Him: If you lose your concentration a second time, I'll FUCK you out. If you're thinking about your buddies, this isn't the place.

Me: Sorry? Stop asserting because you're not in my head, it's defamation and (trembling voice) I don't like being attributed intentions especially concerning men!

I got up and walked out of class. Everything about the male race makes me sick!

I don't know if there are people among my readers who have already had this trauma, if so, you understand how I feel.

I'm not doing it on purpose, it's stronger than me, I'm traumatized and this drama has made me aggressive.

I stay seated on the public bench for 10 minutes, the time to reboost myself. When I go back to class, the teacher shouts at me and tells me that I am excluded from his classes for two sessions including an assignment where I have 00/20 automatically.

I didn't try to beg him, you know why? Because M. has made it clear to Cinthya that he wants me. So no, I'm not going to beg a PIG. Let him do what he wants, I don't give a damn!

I'm just waiting for the fatal error to take him to the direction of the school. If he dares to make advances to me, he will know that there are students who will never give in to such bullshit for a few bonuses!

The day continues and the censor comes to talk to us about the files of the stock exchange agency.

He tells us that we are going to do them in January and that we must already reflect on our orientations.

Cinthya: Manita? are you going to do that?

Me: Okay, I don't know! We the poor there, are we even given the purse?

Cinthya (smiling): This is where you have to have small relationships! But anyway, don't bother me, you're going to want to do things on your own!

Me (fixing her): The day you really know me, you'll understand why I can't stick to a man anymore, whatever the reason!

I see her staring at me and I know her tongue is burning, but no, she won't know!

The censor: And I tell you one thing, stop with prejudices like the stock market is for the rich!

The class: Ahhhhhh we know it's for them!

What the censor says automatically catches my attention!

Him (continuing): Precisely this is where you miss things! It has already been two years since the State sends all scholarship holders who have a minimum of 12/20 in class and in the baccalaureate to the countries where they wish to go.

Me (eyes widening): Huh?

Him: And yes! So keep missing your chance because of prejudice! In any case, see you in the second quarter for the files, have a nice day.

I believe that without knowing it, he has just helped me in my decision.

I'm going to stop this weekend at the bar and I put myself in my notebooks until I even die (so to speak).

This is how I gave myself so much that I surprised myself by having an average of 13 in the first quarter, when I was always at 10-11.

At that moment, I understood that I can do great things, I just have to give my all.

But next to that, I lost the little weight I had, I will be the belt so that my savings hold.

I finally made my scholarship file in the second quarter, who was to miss the 83,000 per month? Or the 166,000/month if you have the merit scholarship? Not me in any case, you have to know how to seize the right opportunities.

My choices of courses were obvious: Management Sciences or Accounting-Finance.

On the form, I put as tutor my former owner of the bar!

Who was going to put Nadine on this card? For her to even say to cancel my procedure? I can never make this mistake.

It's giving me a hard time friends, if I don't talk about it it's because it might make me cry and I don't need that right now, just wish me to stay strong in the face of all this because it's really painful what my so-called mother is putting me through in the house.

***

That's it, we are up to date d -3, I am confident on the one hand because I had an annual 13/20 and I think I can get out of it, on the other hand stressed because it is often said that people who win in class tend to fail the bac due to overconfidence. So I study like crazy and I leave nothing to chance. I have too many projects after baccalaureate, too!

But as always, I can never rest easy.

Me (leaving the room): Nadine? Nadine? Why are you doing this ?

She completely ignores me.

Me: You know I'm revising for my baccalaureate and you're having a party in the house while I'm revising! Don't you ever pity me?

Her (pawing): Because I need your permission to celebrate?

I just turned on my heels because I don't want to argue and freak out.

I took my notebook and went to revise in a quiet corner of the neighborhood all afternoon.

When I come back at 8 p.m., I see that Madame is continuing her party! I go back quietly to the road and I trip the meter.

Me: Very good! I'm going to see how she's going to continue her party, especially since I know she's not going to go up to check the meter, too lazy for that. And the best part of it all? Well, it's me who takes the power here, when it goes out, we stay in the dark because she thinks she's not going to pay for the power and a fool like me is going to take advantage of it. (Blowing) it's going to be over soon!

I arrive home and I see that her friends are already leaving

Me (inwardly): Didn't you say you like to party? bullshit.

I go on my way and I will continue to revise by lighting the lamp to enlighten me.

I revise all night and I repeat this until D-Day.

Me (looking at the proof): We die we die!

I did my 3 days of tests then the English oral, after that I was able to breathe.

Saturday, the fateful day!

I went alone to my proclamation while the others were with their parents. Anyway, I don't want to think about that!

The stress overtakes me when the president of the center begins to speak!

Lord, if I miss the baccalaureate there, I'm really going to ask you what I did to you to have so much trouble sniff!

Come rain or shine, I must have this baccalaureate, I fully deserve it!

To be continued....