9- Breaking Down and Getting Up*
*Tia*
*Phone ring*
Me (sulking): Even when I have the opportunity to sleep in a bit, damn it! (Pick up) Yes what is it?
Cinthya: Eheheh if you attack me, I'll hang up ma'am!
Me: Speak Cinthya! What do you call me on Saturday morning?
Her: Because I have news that will change your life!
Hmm, I already feel that this is not good! Cinthya is still in weird systems. When it's not seducing teachers for grades, it's dating men for money.
Me (aggressive): If it's for a men's story, I prefer that you don't tell me anything OK?
Her: You are the one who wants to get out of poverty but you are always the one who is spitting on the hands that are held out to you.
Me: Is it sleeping with a man who is outstretched? You are completely crazy.
Her: But who told you about sleeping? The guy just wants to see you, he liked your picture in my…
Me (cutting her off): But where do you allow yourself to show my photo to men? (Screaming) don't ever do that again, you hear me? NEVER AGAIN. I don't want a man, I don't want his money either, stay away from me with that. NEVER AGAIN I SAY WELL. Click
I threw my phone on the bed and the anger welling up in my heart was immense.
Where does she allow herself to do this? Did I ever tell her that I need a man?
Men are DOGS, BIG PIGS.
I started shaking with my whole being and painful memories raced through my head.
Lord, how long will I be tormented?
Wouldn't it be possible for all men to disappear from this earth? Why do you let them hurt us?
Tears threatened to flow but I pushed it all back, this pig doesn't deserve my tears.
A few minutes later, I leave the room and I see her burst out laughing.
Mum (speaking aloud): At 13, men sleep, they want to seduce their stepfather, and at 19, they want to play the prudish girl! Anything !
I stared at it for a long time and I found myself wanting to stick one on it! I swear to you that it is painful, it is unbearable to live with MY mother who treats me and talks to me like this. Even though I'm used to it, it's painful. Listen how she speaks to me? How can a mother act like this?
Me: I am the victim in the Hist...
Her (cutting me off): Shut up! And where are you talking to me from? I don't talk to whores. And get out of my kitchen! I don't want to have in my field of vision a person who knowingly destroyed my life. Idiot !
Me (farting a cable): How old are you, Nadine, tell me? To throw spades at your child? What heart do you have? To constantly belittle your child who is the victim in the story. Your heart is BLACK. You are the only reason for your fall. You got me by trapping dad, result, he doesn't like me or consider me. You chose a perverted man who was attracted to your daughter from the start, and you're accusing me of daring to reveal his actions?
Her: Who are you yelling at OYE? YOU ARE SICK ?
Me: NO today you will not stop me! You disgust me Nadine, yes I call you Nadine because you don't deserve to be called mom, I let Yasmine call you mom, but for me, YOU ARE NO LONGER! My heart feels hatred and anger towards you! You despise me, you hate me, if you could kill me that day to stay with your pig, you would have done it! Why ? A beautiful house ? the wealth ? No, but did you really carry me for 9 months? How can you have such a dark heart? It was your sisters and dad who were right, you are selfish, mean, materialistic and you only think about your beauty and your body! And I'm being called a whore here?
At that last sentence, she started pummeling me, I was just protecting myself and not hitting back. Because believe me that if I hit her back, she would end up in the hospital because of the hatred and rage I feel! And I keep in mind that she is Yasmine's mother.
It was Yasmine's driver who separated us since he came to drop her off for the weekend.
I saw his gaze resting on us
Yasmine (5 years old): Why are you hitting my mother (looking at me) you are mean and I will betray you to my father.
I just got up and went to take my shower.
You're probably wondering why in Yasmine's eyes I'm the bad guy?
Because her mother told her that if she doesn't live with both her parents like her school friends do, it's because of me, the witch, the cursed, the wicked.
As a result, I have a little sister who is only 5 years old but who already doesn't love me. For her I am not her big sister but a person who lives in the house.
When I finish washing up, I simply get dressed and go to the Mba high school beach.
I sit down on a log and start venting all my pain.
The other kids have had happy lives, the other 19-year-old girls are having fun.
But I ? I live with a person who doesn't consider me, I have to work hard to pay for my studies, to dress myself, I have to work constantly. Working in a bar, surrounded by men, praying inside that none of them hurt me; walking around with a knife in case someone approaches me! What is this life?
But do I have a choice? No, I am the only one who can help and protect myself.
I sit on this log for a long time and my tears keep flowing, I think I need this. I stayed strong too long. I need to crack and get back in the bath afterwards.
My gaze falls on a family sitting at a table. They laugh and seem happy.
I fix them and they exude happiness! Everyone has their own destiny in this life, because there are people who are surrounded then there is me, the lonely soul.
I stare at them for so long that at some point the eyes of the lady land on me, she seems to be the mother at this table.
I feel ashamed to have stared at them so much, when I want to lower my eyes, I see her say a word to the man next to her and she gets up coming towards me.
Suddenly, I panic, I turn around looking at the beach. Maybe she'll yell at me? Hey Tia you already have your problems and you come to look intensely at strangers.
I hear a soft voice behind me
Her: Miss? Do you have a concern?
Me: Forgive me ma'am I didn't mean to stare at you so much, I'm sorry, sorry...
Her (reassuring): No, don't worry! Can I sit down?
Me (surprised): Uh uh (stuttering) uh
Her: I fell on your sad look Miss and I couldn't help but come to you because I understood that you have a problem.
I just burst into tears.
She sat down next to me, just putting her hand on my back.
Her: You have the right to crack! Besides, I have always cried facing the sea to free myself and the most important thing after that is to get up because you are strong Miss, much more than you think.
These words went straight to my heart because unconsciously, this beautiful stranger had just given me a boost.
After 5 minutes, I told him thank you and especially that I wanted to go home. I don't know if this good lady read me but she asked me
Lady: Did you eat something?
Me (lying): Yes don't worry (avoiding his gaze)
She has a piercing gaze I swear and I have the impression that she reads me like an open book, it's incredible.
Lady: I know you're not telling me the truth, come on, I'll make you a quick meal.
Me (hesitating): Uh no madam, please let it go!
Lady (smiling): Come on! Give me this pleasure! A good pizza to perk you up!
I ended up agreeing, mostly because she was a caring-looking woman. She was beautiful, I would say in the 45-50 age group with dimples and fair skin, in short, a beautiful woman.
On the way to order, we stopped at her table but I started to panic at the sight of the two men seated who appeared to be her husband and son.
I stayed quite far from them, luckily she just took some money and we continued to the checkout where she ordered me two pizzas, I thanked her and she went back to her table.
When giving me the pizzas, the cashier also gave me the change, telling me that it was the lady who asked to give me this and that she insisted that I not decline.
I had no choice but to take! I took the taxi and went home.
Mother and daughter were having a night out, I just charted my course.
That evening, I devoured a whole pizza, it feels good, these are things I can't afford so thank you beautiful stranger.
That night I went to sleep re-energized, invigorated.
I emptied my heart by spitting its truths to Nadine,
I cried facing the sea,
I cracked but it was essential for me to empty myself and regain strength.
I give myself a weekend of rest and Monday, the lioness Tia will be out again.
Life, I am ready to face you and I will not be discouraged, I will get there!
Note from Laya: But who is this beautiful stranger? (smile)
To be continued...