Fifteen

After ten minutes the sample of blood was tested and returned as my doctor prepared to start the ultrasound.

Once the ultrasound had gotten underway there was a pause of silence that was starting to make me feel anxious. At this point in time, I wished I was able to see so I could understand what was going on but I knew it couldn't, thankfully, the silence was soon broken.

"Okay, Kalani I have found the reason behind your symptoms. Before I say anymore I'm going to show Ryan what is on the screen and let him tell you in a moment."

Within a matter of seconds, I could feel Ryan as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance before I heard his footsteps move around the bed and stop where I assumed the screen to be to my right. Though almost instantly began to feel worried when I heard Ryan gasp and his soft crying and sniffing was muffled by his hand.

"Ryan, what's wrong?"

"No, it's alright sweetheart... nothing's wrong. In fact, everything is perfect."

"What do you mean Ry..."

"You're pregnant, eight weeks pregnant darling, we're having a baby."

"Oh, my God... really?"

At that moment, I couldn't help but gasp in utter shock and awe, I couldn't believe we were going to have a baby and with a tender kiss on my forehead, I felt Ryan take my hand in his.

"Here I'll show you the baby."

With gentle movements, I let Ryan guide my hand around the screen so I could get a picture in my mind of our baby.

"There's the head and the body just right there darling."

Somehow, my emotions were sky high but I knew it was because right now in this moment, I was overjoyed with pure happiness it was euphoric and I couldn't wait for what our future would hold with our baby and if the baby would be a girl or a boy, only time would tell.

"I'll give you two a few moments alone, I'll be back shortly."

With my doctor stepping out of the room all was quiet until Ryan helped clean the gel off of my stomach, joining on the bed before wrapping his arms around me, and placing a kiss atop my head.

"I love you, Kalani this is amazing thank you for the greatest gift ever."

I couldn't help but smile as I kissed him.

"I love you too."

Once my doctor had re-entered the room we were given pictures from the ultrasound and were ready to head home. Leaving the hospital both myself and Ryan were overjoyed and learning the news that we were expecting.

On the drive home, we were both buzzing from excitement figuring out ways we could tell his friends and family members of the new family member on the way.

But as the excitement died down a little my thoughts began swimming around my mind and before long the reality of it all hit me and hit me hard. With an uncontrollable feeling, I couldn't help but start to cry as I began feeling overwhelmed by my thoughts.

Would I be able to be a good mother to my baby, would I be able to keep them safe, secure and loved despite me being blind? All in all, I really didn't know and tight now I was starting to feel a little scared.

"Kalani? What's wrong sweetheart what's got you upset?"

"I sorry Ryan, I didn't mean to mood down my anxiety is just taking over and to be honest, I'm a little scared. What if I'm not a good enough mother or something goes wrong?"

Though before anything else could be said I could feel the car slowing down so knew Ryan must have pulled over. In an instant, I was engulfed in a hug and I couldn't help but start to sob.

"Hey, hey, it's okay you're okay. Listen to me sweetheart I can't guarantee that something won't go wrong it might, it might not and I'm not saying that to frighten you but I do know one thing that you and this baby are the best things that have ever happened to me and I love you both so much and one thing I also know is that you will be the best mother this baby will have and I mean that."

As those words left his mouth I could see they were from the bottom of his heart and they meant a lot to me. Hearing it from his point of view, helped me clear my mind and helped me to feel better about myself. I knew that the next nine months would be like stepping into the unknown, but I know that we would get through it together in our journey of becoming parents.