to help out
portion of this unfinished
writing project
Prologue
Hello, my name is Dr. Rehjnh Sayorn. I'm going to be asking you some questions,
hopefully, your ok with that. It really won't be too trying; have you been to a hospital,
or been to, for similiar reasons in the past? "
" Hello, no ".
" Ok, and, your name is?"
Omniscionce.
" ok, are you feeling ok ? on
a scale 1 through 10 one being normal
10 extreme distress".
I feel, normal.
That's good. this is going to be something, dependant on your stay, from time to time, sporadic, possibly. If not I'll be able to be here constructively, on my own volition.
yes I understand.
i know that you feel nornal, but, do you feel like you are going to hurt youself or anyone else
right now?"
no
"Good. Now i've read a little about you your history, relatively, not so much though, there's
not much here. which is a good thing. a good sign. is it ok if we go further?
How do you feel about that?"
variances and variation.
"hmm ,..... that's better, i mean to say, appropriate. I'm sure you aren't going about this as if you were somewhere, anywhere
of your choosing.
So what you just said.....
Is this your current state?
Variance and variation?
That's all.?
That's all you feel? or put it this way:
Why don't you just tell me how you feel, just,
tell me about yourself....."
myself. If i look at my self i am,
hair, skin and nails...
" Why,.., do you respond like that ?"
I respond before or after variances
or analogous or analagies or concepts.
I am either obtuse to arbitrary variences or concepts betwixed those. or, juxtaposed or synonymous. I'm emotional analagous analagy or concept. Or some linear order or patterend
in an order synonomously in some order.
i am moral lackthereof or moral empowerment in positive response connection, connections.
"Why, do, you respond like that?"
i don't know i have no, idea why.
'And that makes, you feel?'
i just told you
"umm.. i mean, what do you like to do?"
....i like seeing...
difractions. ... I cannot look at myself, even
in a mirror. that is not myself.
when i look at others, it is not how i feel, i am told i'm like them. I like difraction, though. i think.
Anyone can look at difractions...
Its input or outputs...
CHAPTER 1
From the palest height of sky on top this window reflects in unison of light, sky, pale sincere. Built from machine, man, skyscrapers becoming as all others from that height of flat perpendicular reflections of shade about back inside the building's ceiling invisibly through to the top outer view if standing stories high overseeing the people at their most in visions glance universal due to distance and the car kept them safe away from the forgot conversation of walk signs of the letters w, a, l, k, as the streets are crossed by the homeless and the ones of on lunch break back to inside where no beds resided yet in china they let their large building factory workers sleep during shift break timed next to eachother as if a cubicle seperated the phones at this building where the telemarketers of today all read scripts and try to annoy the couch driven sight of television boredom as it is now 1:30 pm and at least for most, another 4 hours, pretty much till the cars keep crossing the walkers on sidewalks with no need of a day off some these homeless who were like home to these suited priorities of the class systems of a lazy discourse on who cares about strangers everday. Yet these onlookerss of in front of this or that would fill these crosses of gravel in shoes or tires and at night the place was either happy on liquor moreso in the past and it was rare in this area to find anyone under 18 years old.
In diagonals wind or breeze dependant on sight of a tree or higher up a hill or early everday after stairs under where?
Underneath stairs and stairways smoking a ciggerette thinking about how much more they cost ten years after parking lots where filled at jack in the box and everywhere this the downtown or before or after exits of just, winds as if cars ice skated by when your at the park and their silence flowed from a distance, as the summer heat was thick like the still heavy air. Why did everyone forget that the freeway was three quarters their life someplaces if some only lived up to 49, and some did from that ciggarrete or that steak and some were rich and some were rich and both upper and lower class the some of them did not give a care or liked to the middle class as well but in china bitter means growth and a Chinese american walkin down the street told me why when i was 10 years younger than 4 years before when we actually chatted in high school. But today i just saw someone who reminded me of the guy who told me, "chah,....yeah thats why obviously to the chinese bitter would mean growth! ya know.
So the memory of narrative message messaged everywhere and to some the rain and piss that came off the pavement meant some dude had to go and the narrative message said nature is everywhere and in this place, it was not the nicest pacific coast highway but in hunington beach people go to alchoholics anonymous and swear they have been sober for 25 years. What does that have to do with this porch outside the furniture truck with that overweight mother of his saying hey bud i'm not getting here any faster yes, mom i know your so beautiful why don't you tell me that three more times so i can reach out and hand the mail from that delivery driver so i can eat my salad with the town jew at the pizza pie parlor when things get out of hand with uncle figeroa at the barber! This place might as well have narrative messages stating the said conversation when i cant cross the street without noticing i don't really have a job and you need to be here again bro....
Tall trees overllooked the monotony of horizons blocked by someones buisness and the mix of arpartment and buisness was not on peoples mind and somehow it was 1993 in the summer time in a place that would never call this place a place, u know the earth is full of places, and such is the way of a world. Light hearts and sweet hearts are all her and she is never gonna know that we all know eachother but not a single person on this side walk is spoilled. But the heat everynow and then replaces the sun because when i walk or bike next to a brick wall that is barren, eroded, and next to a buisness that just isnt, anymore, i still find the time to have that ciggerette here in good old 2015 and that fucking pack cost like 8 bucks now. Remember all of those buildings, and cars that i mentioned earlier. they smoke
alot. Now, i am here you are here no wonder we got to get to the other side street after street after i met my old boss 5 years ago and now this last moment is for the air because the birds are nowhere around here they are asleep like all those brothers of fathers who was someones second cousin who was my nephews dad all jobless smoking a 75 cent ciggarette because those fuckin buildings have those suited non chalants and no one around here is ever under 18 years old until saturday and maybe 8 or 9 pass through and start their life early again, and again, maybe once on thursday. I'm glad i was smoking 10 cent ciggarettes when i was his age. In this good old i'm not from around here i'm the voice of sayin walk and this way or that is up down windy hot and crowded and i have a dry throat and the sun is setting.
Chapter 2
The driver's side is occupied. next to,, an empty side from, the driver. On a road.
The driver, driven, by relief from daillies, stresses, their projenator, passion. It so seemed and still, sometimes, moreso, even often; on the roads that lead us fron job to job or, job to homewards on highways, freeways. Being a looky-loo on traffics destiny of many a car to car higways. And now. in this driver's unawares, of the control group emotion: Temporal division of time in nature, variable of this said division, one part temporal, one nature the control group again emotion as almost a placebo in comparison to desire or curiosity: he was back at his job, wondering in his car about the mysterious patient 'omniscionce', but not the least
opinioned by his name. He was a doctor. A science driven opinioned, exclusive of opinion, at work. He knew that this man had his own road, that led him to him. And, that, his answers were somewhat universal. The patient had a different experience leading him to him. And,
that there were many hims and now this was the current mystery. This human being, who to the doctor was the person he was seeing, not the road he was on: time.Time: the experience variable of observed experience away from the control emotion of auto pilot, natures timeless equilibrium with people within never too far away like memory. Because of this lack of space, you really can't have a weak memory. all are too close in vicinity, as if you were to forget something in your house for example. its really not even usually the perimeter
that is not opaque as well as the core. in terms of space and time in motion the emotions of
ponders in people to people not in eachothers way gave the control natured time of one either in his experience and to the side the peripheral another might as well in say your experience be either working and in time-cards last hour before you get time flying with loved ones in simpler more temporal moments that contrast the nature of the control pacebo yet valuable, timeless preperation for elswhere; after;
and?....
And, furthermore, now; before he dreams: sees with eyes closed, laying down at 11:30 pm, after all else from the days priorities, to the rest that was always in a way to his later years, faster, and yet needless, perhaps, as he aged.
He now was again, wondering, pondering on, the patient Omiscionce. .....
Why is it important for you to say you like, seeing'...
I'm reading: something; stains or pattern recognition perhaps, microcosm of representation; to the upside down nature of biological eyesight are modified, by the eyes eyeing process of sense and variations. Not as solid as I presume others 'concrete classifications'. they become words; the words are interpreted as me, as I understand language; light, is converted, into my brain, to visual concrete, 'classifications', supplied; then,neurons somehow envision my surroundings: contrast,, color, patterns, space relationships, and motion. Then, I began reading and I'm distracted, known to me as desire:reaction occurs in the brain or desire is possibly a consciousness: action is applied. I take a sip of coffee while reading"
And now omniscionce, was to the dr. A question, this person, full of possibilities. was he a questioner? And to an answer, this: intelligence is more about the questions you have, not so much about the answers given or found or discovered or observed, which always leads to further observations, observation does. Questions, now full of, and in the doctor's mind. Yet they did narrow in focus. He remembered his statement about seeing, and pondered the discourse with occurred, then superimposition of unity
"hair skin and nails"
Why? Thought doctor sayorn. He decided to be objective more so after brief time his decision.
he looked at himself, then another observation, spontaneous yet he kept to timed chronology.
"When I look at myself" he thought,
"I really am hair skin and nails. And I can't see myself holistically as others, I can. I don't feel like them either, I see that. " I can see them!"
just then thought opened him, somewhere inside. He wasn't the type that was completely silent when some universal was upon him, like to a crowd in terms of response. You may be aware of this hypothetical like a forgotten or unseen truth and...silence.
"I see them ". This led by silence. He was curious and mostly full of known facts complexities."I see them".
And the secrets of his thought process distinctly, distinction, in relation to the patient's observations of his experience of himself to others, was the honesty that stems from that honesty. Genuine aptitude and, it gave more than silence. Now, some say that silence is all knowingness possibly, perhaps, though; Dr Sayorn's observation: was giving: conventional innovative givings, allowed. Something meaningful that, allowed him, to think about this person, omniscience, Omniscionce: a person that was becoming more dimensional by the exact awareness, of his observable words, words, allowance of a human that led to questions, more than answers.
"I, see them"
Thought he sought, " I cannot see myself" , he said, "as I see them" holistically, body-head to toe " he's right "he thought.
"I can't see my whole body and, I really am hair, skin, and nails.
Again, my omittance rested, by this:
The doctor's thoughts recognize our identity not-crisis.the seeing of others in ourselves, as an example contradicting the next example with the same result. Result: full Independence and identity. if I could see myself,the whole inwards and anyone could do as well, we would never have our own identity everyone would be the same.
Dr. Sayorn, synonomous yet detached in narrative as double exposure, easily recognize these truths, in a very I could not explain wordlessly innately instinctively unconscious semi-conscious
" I can see them"
" I know myself, I don't feel like omnisconce, but I know what he's saying now," and wanted to know more.....
Chapter 3
The day passed his walk away from the house he told the dr. he would be. He was medicated now and tired. He knew he would give them the staff time to not find out. So he checked into the home as if normal. He left soon after. He knew he couldn't explain why he, left to himself, why he was not to the Dr. satisfactory. He wouldn't know how to understand if, switching places, representation rested to understanding, and then here, why on earth.....
....
Light ,. dark sky. houses in. Around never I was always outside not around, everything else is around this.
.human, dreaming in. parks, young people and noise. ...We, by ects. Eyes look like identical looking eyes, once I walk to that the moon. Blanketed he saw the moon at early next, to continued, distance, reflection man made pond reflecting lack of white night, the moon into the body of water where the park, bench would wherein he breathes. left to two young lovers he didn't see. because it was so young. They kissed! The tree top touch, a leaf from, kissed, a street sign, as he leaned his neck in front of her to the right street sign he eyed that tiny leaf and sent it in motion he watched it touch that kissing leaf. far sight of a light pole. I saw that, she said. Smile. She wasn't imagining. He knew then. she leaned her neck and watched the edge of a branch kiss a light post with her eyes, and he knew. Sunscloudskyoung awake at night passed the actual radiation that somewhere else eyes would love I too know but, the next morning, continued....,. , he didn't know they were so clever with what was around always telling anyone what they saw with love at first sights, nature and two love birds....
and at last the thinking him that he was walking with him he and him closer towards in 3 feet away in bill...iahhhhhhns...of 1. The passed is respectfully so past in inconceivability the only new billion year old word that can be a link respectfully is a number not a word. The numbr1 one is logical. If there is something no one could know. It would have to at least Be a something. One way I passed my fellow we crossed sidewalks on our way home future away from 1 or one place two points a to be. That is several logically analyzed. Where the fuvk is one fucking 1 this paraphrased is an encyclopedia, one. He didn't know this he was too too busy and he was alive too all the beauty passed his walk past his a to be and the distance in-between was well, he isn't talking right now. He lives and he chose this. Never to be continued. Tommorow the next day, he walks next to, loved ones.into the past wonders of time, in him was.
Chapter 4
Hallways across in these places. Patients walking next hall. Some were, and where else is, the difference. The staff were to some, where.
Where all were to be met. the staff works for the same people. They all look the same in here. They all needed a staff. Before
the life that gives leads to, places. Who expects respect when needed. This place was sanctuary and fear from either or the closest of them. The closest depended the both of them, selves, the staff. Life the staff fought
and God, didn't disagree. The reasons didn't have to be an aliance with any questions. The hearts of people guide from their soul, or heart, or higher mind, or ethic, or love, or priority, or desire, never not altruism. The time was a shcedule, but time is not to be looked at, sometimes, (omitted respectfully) questions are not to be asked or statements, rely on work of course in this respect instead. An example:
The Literature of medical peer review journals show the hard work of lifesavors,
and anyone can read these specialized writers, with years of experience. And who watched ever, did they discuss, how it represented entertainment. Of
it inspired them to respect. Every one has their reasons, a patient his. Had his reasons because of no deterministic causal relationship.
The derminism of the mechanism as functional trillion celled organism is the question with theonly tangible empirical answer to free will. Other causual chioce relationships in a causal nature on earth are innate seperates that nuture our survival such as food, or water or sunlight. all innate to this world as we function in our deterministic process yet we are more than funtion and the functions of the outer world are innate intheir mystery of creation and functional to the point neccesarry to our survival nurturing us in the determination of seperate and connected realities proven as will not limited to yet not free and our free will is always a dertemined eneffable definition. ennefable as the qualitty of hope in our will to free others with less will and just as much ennefable though dis harmony still is observavble to the person who uses will in its deterministic functional humility as a person lending his time to use in arbitrary terms his hands to lend a hand to a functional person willing.
Omniscionce's personal life was a traditional humans. He, borne of, social, cultural family
life, adulthood, father and mother: was not second or first to all others of time, history,
tradition, connection, similiarity, and the like.
Never would anyone be of the said pieces
of life, any person named Ominiscionce,
even himself. An older man neither willing or unwilling to the cause of current life, or llife in general, perhaps. When you feel the structure
allows that same feeling, felt, belonged to. His apttitude was even, par with those of all the peoples who felt yet in a way a part unless the
feelings were not together, but somehow mysterioussly unconscios and civilization
a priori exceeded to evolutionary proportions.
Yet there were the said determinants of free will.
Dr. Sayorn has his cause.
Chapter. 5
Nigh safely all. Sound the repitition. Higher pitch through eyes voice in.
The desert voiceless seen, to one. not there the desert dry, the sun alone, a voice.
Past walked now gone 80 million miles a way. Or, not still. Here, wrong; 50 miles
or maybe here or there, away. In houses, air conditioned, high deserts try. To
work out and back away from his or yours. Desert, with sun shines the question.
A fool? Is that person? When then was there now. Is not is that person still here there.
That sun is where's that desert? Now pause this next interval, now is this again.
He is.
"They just don't know how beautiful they are. Sometimes, it keeps them,
a little off point ".
Chapter 6
To Mr Rejhn Sayorn life started a couple times in his life, to lucks quantifications he wouldn't say. Yet when you are hopeful moreso when age heightens than even to the eagerness of any man's success early in adulthood, this eagerness what his hope is described now as without full ability due to maturity of a man who didn't allow this hope to be successful in the conventional manner. This hope was not for him and it was for to some realist, an unrealistic even vulgar attempt to hide in the name of sainthood and allow your belief in yourself to be hidden too as if you were the root of descartes choice to abandon his education without integrating it into his 'from the ground up' historical successes in any a scientist, gratitude. In other words from other collegues 'psychology does help the human spirit, and, is, very helpful in all practical matters as well, Dr. Sayorn. Thats why Dr. Sayorn was respected, and always eager to be a very welcoming fellow in his areas of proffesional ettiquite and impersonal relating by his mild manners and integrated education of his coupling his contituents and his qualifications, and a humble from the ground up heart felt intention, soon to be never expressed until he realized a patients, pratical human spirit, couldn't be shown as his expressing of his hope to his again collegues.
..... ....
.