8. My Past Life

It was a relief that I could speak calmly without any wave while my heart was beating so fast.

I didn't know why it was hard for me to breathe when I talked to Hugo earlier.

My face was expressionless all the time we spoke, but my heart wanted to explode.

I looked okay from outside, but my body trembled silently inside. Did Hugo use his pheromone to dominate me?

I don't know anything about pheromones because there isn't anything like that in my world.

I need to learn more about it later. I didn't know why my body trembled at that time, and for now, I would only guess it was Hugo who tried to dominate me with his pheromone because he is my Alpha.

My heart is heavy right now, and I know it won't be easy to step back from the one you love.

I could never leave my boss before in my past life. When you love someone, you give him your whole heart, and when you break up, it is not as easy as you think.

You chose him as the last port where your feelings will rest. You pick him as your last place to stay, but you won't ever know if he thinks the same as you or not.

The real Lea and I are stupid to think that our man will be our last place to stay while they only think of us as their shadow couple.

We are a fool. We believe one day he will love us. But in reality, our hope will never become a reality.

You can not force someone to love you, so you can only hope that someday he will realize your existence, but what will you do when he never turns back & is aware of your presence?

You will only live in endless suffering. I don't want to experience the same thing anymore.

I already experienced it once, so I am not that stupid to choose the same path that I used to choose before.

No one believed that I lived in pain because everyone only knew that my boss gave me everything.

After I became my boss's shadow girlfriend or Everyone called me his mistress, even though my boss and I didn't get married yet.

My boss already started to give me the luxurious thing that a noble girl likes.

My boss bought me a villa near our company which was not cheap at all. Our company was located downtown and all of the houses downtown were expensive.

My boss also gave me a recent dress from a famous brand. I didn't know why he bought me something that I wouldn't wear on a regular occasion.

My boss even gave me a luxurious bag and jewelry. He even bought me a car that was so expensive.

A regular girl like me couldn't afford to buy expensive things like that. I never used all of his gifts when I went outside.

Because I understood my position as a shadow girlfriend that things were not mine at all.

I would only use his present when I went to work or attend a ceremony together with him.

As for him, I was only a piece of jewelry that he liked to show off around the place.

My boss never thought of me as a human, and he only thought of me as a pet that he raised under his protection.

My boss never knew that I never lived in the villa he gave me except when he came to pick me up.

I would wake up earlier than before to arrive at the house he gave me and acted like I really lived there.

My rented house was far away from downtown, so I needed to wake up earlier for work or attend a ceremony with him.

My boss never cared about me, so he never knew if I really lived in the house he bought for me or not. My boss also didn't know the location of my rented house.

My boss did not only give me an enormous payment, but he also gave me an unlimited black credit card, which was only used by the rich.

I never used his credit card, and I only left it on the house that he bought for me. He thought that giving me anything that a noble girl likes would make me happy.

But he never knew that I didn't need any of them because I only wanted his heart that I wouldn't ever have even after death came to me.

I already had a plan to run away from my boss to another city to avoid him.

When I attended our last banquet, I already decided to run away after I came back to my rented house.

But before I could leave the country, I died in his arms instead. I never touched the enormous payment that he gave me.

I already left everything that was not mine in the mansion that he gave me as a gift.

I only took my payment as a secretary because I am not a call girl he could pay when he rented me.

I left everything he gave me, and I also finished moving out of my rented house.

I moved to a city far away from Apple city, and I hoped we wouldn't ever meet again in the future.

In the end, I was not successful in running away from him.

I even got punished because I decided to run away from my boss by transmigrating to a novel world and became the wife of the man who has the same name as my boss.

At least, I was far away from my boss. Hugo, in this world, is not my boss in my past life.

I won't get hurt when he gives me a harsh remark because I never love Hugo in this world at all.

I will say goodbye to the past and welcome the future. I won't think about my boss any more.

My dissatisfaction with this world won't make me return to my previous world.

The real Lea has a family, but everyone doesn't like her except her mother, Marina.

I am relieved because I am an orphan in another world, so I don't know the feeling of having a complete family.

The real Lea never talked to her family except for her mother. The real Lea never shared her feelings with her mother about her fiance.

It is lucky for me because I don't know how to face a family while being an orphan. I don't want everyone to know there is something strange about me.

I am not the original Lea, and I can't act the same way as her either. I only got her memory, but I didn't know her personality at all.

I walked away from the private room, but my heart was still beating hard.

I was anxious, but it wasn't my feelings at all. It was Lea's feelings.

The real Lea was worried that Hugo would leave her when she acted that way earlier.

I shook my head and said, 'Lea, I know it is hard for you, and it is also hard for me too. Leaving someone you love is not an easy task at all.

Everyone said that if you don't feel happy with your couple, then leave them. But no one tells us that running away from someone you love is not easy.'

The real Lea's feelings towards Hugo are deep, so even though her soul is not in this body, her feelings remain in my heart.

My heart was heavy as I brought so much weight on my back. I shook my head helplessly and tried to talk to Lea that surged within my soul.

Even though Lea has already died, her feelings are still inside my heart.

I took a deep sigh and said to Lea in my mind, 'I know that it is not easy to move one, but how long will you wait for him to love you? I don't want to hurt your feelings, but he won't ever love you even after death picks you up.

I know because I experienced it myself. I am already tired of waiting unclear like this.

My heart is exhausted, and also my body & soul. I will live for myself from now on. Love yourself more is significant for now.

Do you know that he gives you pain as a reward for your sincere heart? Do you think that he is worthy of your love, Lea? If he is your destiny, then he will be with you at the end.'

I tried hard to run away from the private room because I didn't want to spend time alone with Hugo.

After all, it made me remember my boss. I didn't want to remember my past that would only torment me.

I believe that Hugo won't ever chase after me because I am not as significant as Nia, his beloved first love.

When I ran away, I saw Her Redrich and her omega woman, Rika Aria. Hera is Hugo's older sister, who dotes on her brother rotten.