webnovel

This Protagonist Is A Bit Sick!

Liu Xun has lived a tough life for the past 25 years but he never complained about his hardships. However. When he was suddenly brought into a cultivation romance novel after he had just received his hard-earned promotion he finally lost it. "F*ck! Laozi was such a model citizen, Why are you doing this to Laozi?!" To make matters worse, both protagonists were cold-blooded murderers, especially the male lead, Wan Yu who was a bit of a psycho. He seemed to be at odds with everyone and enjoyed torturing people, especially the big villain, Wu Jing who was particularly miserable at the end. And he just happened to be that Wu Jing. Liu Xun: vomit blood jpg. Fortunately, every cloud has a silver lining and this new life of his is not beyond saving yet. Filled with determination, Liu Xun swore not to cross paths with the protagonists and lay low as an Outer disciple. Unfortunately, Heaven seemed to have another plan for him. Liu Xun put on an unfriendly face and turned to glare at a certain little boy, "Why are you following me?" The little boy timidly spoke, "... Can't I stay with you?" Liu Xun immediately replied, "No." Even though he decided not to be involved with him, as a normal grownup adult he still couldn't turn a blind eye toward the child abuse in the end. As a result, he ended up helping the little male protagonist a few more times. After some time passed, looking at the fair-faced harmless little boy, Liu Xun tiredly sighed like an old father. Never mind, I will raise him during my stay as the Heavenly Sect's Outer disciple and we will go on our ways in the future. Unbeknownst to him, in a place where he couldn't see, the little boy's eyes turned cold while silently observing him. Wan Yu who came back to the past a while ago dangerously narrowed his eyes. Who is this person? ... Should I just kill him? After some time passed, looking at this not-so-bright and foolish person, Wan Yu pinched the space between his eyebrows and gave an almost inaudible sigh. Nevermind. As long as this guy doesn't betray him he is willing to take him under his wings. A comedy-romance story with a model citizen (?) transmigrator shou x a black lotus reborn gong, no dog-blood drama. The cover doesn't belong to me. Everything is fictional and shouldn't be taken seriously.

B1ackDiA · LGBT+
Not enough ratings
10 Chs

The Debut Of Chef Liu

Some time later, Liu Xun returned with a featherless and motionless chicken.

Seeing the burning fire, he was surprised to find that Ji Yan was actually a reliable kid.

Watching as the poor child fan the flame while coughing fiercely due to the smoke, he generously praised, "You have done a really good job!"

Ji Yan coughed a few more times before pointing his index finger at Wan Yu who was standing a distance away from him, "It was Little Yu who started the fire."

Hearing this, Liu Xun turned to look at the little protagonist in surprise.

Wan Yu was merely seven years old and much smaller than Ji Yan so he didn't even count on him for this job.

Not to mention, the little protagonist was squeaky clean from head to toe with not a single strand of hair out of place whereas Ji Yan...

Liu Xun: "..." Why do you look like you have been mining coal for the past 10 years?

Regardless, he still complimented the one who did the job, "You are so capable at such a young age!"

Wan Yu lifted his eyes and faintly smiled, "You too."

Liu Xun merely grinned at his compliment and didn't take his words to heart.

Walking into the kitchen, he found a big pot and filled it with water before bringing it to a boil on the stove.

Liu Xun then started to prepare the ingredients.

He first started with the chicken and cut it into small pieces. Afterward, he diced some sweet sausages, carrots, and Matsutake before setting them aside with some green peas.

Chop some scallions, peel some garlic, and ginger, and then put them together with some red chilies in a small bowl for later use.

For the leftover intact mushrooms, Liu Xun sliced them and arranged them neatly on the cutting board.

Just as he finished with the ingredients, the water boiled. Grabbing the prepared chicken, he added it to the boiling water alongside peeled ginger and some scallions.

Nonchalantly added some seasoning, he closed the lid and let it simmer down.

Wasting no time, Liu Xun went to wash the rice until the water turned clear. Next, he grabbed another big pot to put it over the stove.

Adding a bit of lard, a sizzling sound was heard and it rapidly dissolved into liquid. Liu Xun proceeded to add the diced sausages, mushrooms, carrots, and green peas into the pot. He stir-fried them for a bit before adding the washed rice and slowly mixed them.

Not long after, he put some water into the pot and added some sliced mushrooms on top before closing the lid.

Soon the water boiled and Liu Xun opened the lid for a bit. Until almost all the water on the surface was gone, he covered the rice pot with the lid and reduced the heat by taking away some firewood.

Liu Xun went to clean the table and then washed his hands with water before wiping them with a clean towel.

It took another while for the food to be ready. Liu Xun finally had the time to look at the two children who were silently watching him busy around the kitchen outside the door.

At some point, Ji Yan went back to his courtyard to clean his face and changed into another set of clothes.

He was the type of person who liked to eat but couldn't cook. Therefore, he admired those who could cook well and viewed them in high regard.

Even though he hasn't tasted Liu Xun's cooking yet, judging from the way he handled ingredients and moved around the kitchen it was easy to tell that he was familiar with the kitchen.

Ji Yan's eyes were so hot that Liu Xun felt a bit overwhelmed. He quickly said, "Don't expect too much. My cooking is just so-so."

Ji Yan comforted, "Don't worry! Even if they taste like dog sh*t, I will still say that they are delicious!"

Liu Xun: "..." Do you think that this will make me feel happy?

Anyways, Liu Xun was rather curious about something, "Is Elder Chen not fasting?"

According to his understanding, cultivators used the spiritual energy of heaven and earth as nourishment. Mediation as rest which benefited greatly to their cultivations.

Things like eating food and sleeping were considered useless.

It came as a surprise to hear that someone of Elder Chen's caliber would sit down and enjoy meals like mortals do.

After hearing his question, Ji Yan nodded his head in understanding and sighed emotionally, "I initially thought that Immortal cultivators like Shizun would only drink fairy few, eating clouds and winds. I almost rejected his offer to be his Disciple because I thought that I would be forced to eat those bitter pills instead of meals every day."

Liu Xun subconsciously pictured Elder Chen's constipated face upon being rejected by a rural kid due to this reason and silently lit a candle for him.

Ji Yan didn't feel anything wrong with his words and continued, "Shizun eats three meals a day and usually sleeps for 8 hours every day."

Elder Chen is living a healthier lifestyle than a normal human. Was what Liu Xun thought in his head.

"Enough about Shizun. Xu ge, What's about you?"

Wan Yu who has been staying quiet for all this time suddenly spoke up.

Ji Yan didn't feel the question abrupt and his eyes eagerly looked at Liu Xun, "That's right! Other than your name, I barely know you! Since you are not under the same teacher as us, are you learning from Elder Su?"

Liu Xun didn't expect the topic to suddenly shift to him. Although it was a bit sudden, he still managed to give out a proper reply without being flustered, "I am not."

"Why don't you live in the courtyard prepared for Outer disciples?"

Liu Xun didn't expect the little protagonist to know about his whereabouts and said with a bit of shock, "How do you know that I don't live there?"

The little protagonist seemed to realize that he was being rude with his question. He hurriedly explained, "I knew that there was an abandoned shed nearby. Since not many people came to the stream I assumed that you were living there. Am I wrong?"

This explanation sounded reasonable and Liu Xun would come out as strange if he were to continue pushing the topic.

Since it had already come to this, he lightly explained, "As you can see, I look like this and can't cultivate so no one likes to see me breathing in the same space as them. I left and accidentally found that place."

Even though Liu Xun spoke lightly of this matter, both Ji Yan and Wan Yu knew that it must have been incredibly hard for him back then and possibly even now.

Ji Yan might look to be tactless and clueless but he was not a fool. Since the beginning, he never mentioned the injuries on his face and treated him normally as he did to everyone else.

In addition, this was the person who helped him search for food and even cooked for him, Ji Yan had long considered him to be one of his people!

Thinking that his good brother got bullied and shunned by others, Ji Yan abruptly stood up and smacked his chest, "Brother Xu, don't worry! Next time, if someone dares to disrespect you, tell me! I will beat them up for you!"

Staring at this chubby child with such a serious face, even if Liu Xun had no intention of hiding behind the child's back, he still felt amused, "Thanks but the Sect forbade the internal stifle along fellow disciples. No need to get yourself into trouble because of them. It isn't worth it."

"I may look like this but I am really strong!" Ji Yan argued thinking that Liu Xun turned down his offer because he didn't come off as a strong person.

To his response, Liu Xun unhurriedly stood up, putting his hands on the boy's shoulders, and pressed him down letting him sit back in his original position. He helplessly chided, "Just study hard, eat, and sleep well."

Ji Yan pouted, "How old are you? Why are talking like the uncle who lives next to my house?"

In terms of real age, Liu Xun should be indeed referred to as Uncle by Ji Yan. As a fake child, he couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed introducing himself as a 10-year-old.

Putting on a dignified expression, Liu Xun said, "That's right, I am your uncle from your mother's side. My parents who are your grandparents had me incredibly late which is why we are of similar age."

Ji Yan: "... I remembered your surname is Xiao."

Liu Xun didn't get stumped and gave a long sigh, "Hah, it seems that there is no secret in this world. Fine, I was floating on the river and got picked up by a Xiao couple. Unfortunately, they were too poor to raise me so they sold me to your grandparents. Since your grandparents didn't have a son, I became their son."

Ji Yan: "... My grandparents had 8 sons and 2 daughters."

Hearing this, Liu Xin stopped with his nonsense and exclaimed in disbelief, "How many cousins do you have then?!"

While the two were on about with their nonsensical talk, Wan Yu slightly lowered his eyes.

There is no mistake. Xiao Xu is indeed in the same situation as him but their attitudes are completely different.

Wan Yu wanted to catch any negative sentiments from the other party by deliberately asking those questions.

Unexpectedly, Xiao Xu didn't show any adverse reactions as if he had already gotten over them.

Wan Yu had always viewed Xiao Xu as a weaker opponent but at this moment, he suddenly felt that he was the inferior one.

Not knowing the little protagonist's thoughts, Liu Xun chatted some more with Ji Yan until it was time to check on the food.

He first went to check the steamed rice. The rice was well-cooked and smelled wonderful. He poured some light soy sauce over the rice and sprinkled it with chopped scallions before taking the pot away from the stove.

Opening the lid of another pot, white smoke arose along with the gurgling sound of water. The smell was fragrant and lingered in the air causing one stomach to rebel. The soup turned slightly golden due to the chicken, the meat was soft and tender.

Liu Xun poured some sliced mushrooms in and reclosed the lid. In the meantime, he went to grab a small wok and put it on the other stove.

Taking some burning wood from the other stove to increase the heat, Liu Xun started to make the last dish.

Dumping the fat removed from the chicken into the heated wok, a loud sizzling sound was heard, and soon it produced oil. He tossed in some peeled garlic and chilies evoking a loud sound and an amazing spicy smell.

Stir-frying them for a bit, he added the remaining damaged mushrooms. Some seasonings followed after and all the ingredients were tossed over the fire for another short while.

Three simple dishes were made and ready for dinner.

After letting Ji Yan bring some food to Elder Chen, Liu Xun, and the little protagonist sat down in the small kitchen to have their dinner.

Wan Yu moved his chopsticks and first tasted the steamed rice.

The rice was soft but not sticky with a distinct taste of mushroom and sweet sausage. The green peas would pop in his mouth adding another texture to the dish. The light soy sauce added some flavor so the rice was good enough as it was without the main dish.

Without saying anything, he moved on to the soup.

The soup was still hot and the taste was neither light nor heavy. It was well-simmered as the broth was full of flavor thanks to the chicken and rather refreshing due to the mushrooms.

Wan Yu grabbed a piece of meat together with a slice of mushroom and put it in his mouth.

The mushroom was extremely soft and sweet, each bite would squeeze out the soup making it even more delicious. The meat seemed to fall apart with a slight touch of his teeth so there was no need to put too much work into chewing.

Wan Yu silently moved on to the stir-fried dish. With one bite, the spiciness exploded in his mouth and he couldn't help but choke for a bit.

"Don't eat if you can't handle the spice."

Liu Xun warned while pouring some water for him.

Wan Yu gave a small thanks and drank some water. Pausing for a bit, he lightly coughed, "The dishes taste great."

"Glad to hear that." Liu Xun smiled in satisfaction.

Halfway through their meal, Ji Yan suddenly ran back and sat down unceremoniously. Serving himself a bowl of rice and soup, he wolfed down his food as if he were starved.

He made some comments in between eating, "I almost died from watching Shizun eating on the sideline! Ah, the rice is great! The soup is delicious and this stir-fried mixed mushroom is so flavorful and spicy! This is how food is supposed to taste like! Brother Xu, your cooking is the best!"

Liu Xun as a chef was both grateful and fearful at how fast he was eating.

As someone who lived alone and was poor, he started to cook around the time he was in middle school. However, after starting to work, he rarely cooked and mostly ate outside.

"Here, your medicine."

Wan Yu still took the job of boiling the medicine and bringing it over.

Liu Xun secretly grimaced at this bitter medicine. After another short pause, he hesitatingly blew the medicine and resigned himself to drink it.

As expected, even after drinking it for the second time, it still felt terrible. Liu Xun thought as he squeezed his eyes.

"Here."

Just as Liu Xun put down the empty bowl on the table, a candy was placed beside the bowl.

Wan Yu casually explained, "I got it from Yan ge but I don't like eating sweets."

"Thanks."

Liu Xun no longer cared about his old face and tossed the candy into his mouth. The sweetness spread quickly and soon overwhelmed the bitter taste.

Seeing his expression somewhat improve, Wan Yu slowly put his hands behind his back and smilingly said, "It is getting late. Xu ge, how about you spend the night here?"

Raising his head to look at the innocent face of the little protagonist, Liu Xun dumbly replied, "Ah?"