Cluster: <classified>. System: <classified>. Planet: <classified>. Code name: Red October. The frigate Normandy-SR2.
Once out of FTL, we immediately headed for the planet. Everything was ready there, but the operation would take five hours. Eyes are too difficult an organ to transplant, even with our technology.
- It's-- It's..." Liara tried to say, looking at Nargul, who..... Finding his toy again. Well, or a Batarian dreadnought. Poor Batarians, they're all alive in there. And Nargul's so obsessed with experimenting on the living. But I didn't bother him too much. Mostly he was experimenting with methods of curing infection from husky bites, faster healing of burns and fractures, protection against indoctrination at the cellular level, and doping for biotics. Also, Nargul became a reproductive Ark. Himself, he collected a huge amount of eggs and sperm of all races (how he managed to get the gene material of the Quarians, I was afraid to ask), which he caught among pirates and drug dealers. In fact, it was the most extreme method of survival in this Cycle. If the Reapers' victory was inevitable, we were to hide somewhere, wait out the Harvest, and then raise babies of all races in incubators and raise them as parents. So there would be a union of all races, a union of organics and synthetics because if we raised them, they would consider us parents or at least friends. And then we would have to hide for thousands of years from whoever would take the place of the Overlord, prepare for the Harvest, and then destroy the Reapers. After all, they are not infinite; they can be interrupted.
There were also gene storage facilities on Kila's Light, Heshtok, Parnak, the capital of the Rachni, whose name was unintelligible, and several other planets where they were already building bunkers with reactors, warehouses, and everything else. This was Xad's solution, though he meant just cryostasis; I told him that it was impossible to instil friendship for machines in such intelligent people, so we'd have to educate them from the nappies. Literally.
But I still hoped it wouldn't come to that; I didn't want to see a Harvest of that magnitude. But I still had to consider all the options and prepare for them.
- It's Nargul. Cute, isn't it?" I said, and Liara stared at me like I was a leper.
- Yeah, very." Garrus replied sarcastically. Then Normandy was locked up, and Tali was sent to surgery. Mordin and Chakwas were still allowed to be present. Such an experience, after all. And we stayed in Normandy to calm down.
****
The frigate Normandy-SR2.
- Who's next in line?" Shepard asked while the two of us were in the conference room.
- Well, we have two candidates. The first is the test subject Zero, or Jack. Mercenary, sectarian, pirate, Cerberus' test subject, the strongest biotic of the human race, and just a criminal. How much she's killed, I don't know. She's got a very... dark past. I gave Jack the short shrift.
- Yeah, you really know how to pick your teammates. Are you sure she's even allowed in?" Shepard asked. She was still deciding about taking me up on my offer.
- She has one good thing going for her. She hates Cerberus. We help her deal with her past, and she'll follow us. But first, we'll offer her a reward, and there's money to be made.
- Are you sure she can be trusted even after we help her? The Captain was still hesitant.
- If we helped her kill someone or save a life, it would mean nothing to her. But getting revenge on Cerberus... Believe me, it means a lot more to her.
- Okay, who's the other contender?
- The second, or rather the second. Kasumi Goto. Human. The best thief in the galaxy but not the most famous. She has to try to keep it that way.
- I see. Well, we could use a thief. And it'll be easier for Thane to work with someone who knows stealth.
- Well, that's true. So, who do we go after first?
- Where are they, anyway? The Captain asked.
- Jack is on the Blue Light prison ship, Purgatory. But the rendezvous with Kasumi will be on the Citadel.
- The Citadel. Are you sure I'm allowed to shine there? Shepard was worried.
- What they'll do to you. The criminal law of Citadel space doesn't provide for resurrection. The Alliance even got proof of your death. And you're not going to pass up the opportunity to troll the Council and Udina with your Reaper stories," I said, using my fingers to make inverted commas.
Don't start with the "Oh, yes, the Reapers!" story," the Captain grinned, "by Councillor Sparatus. It makes me sick.
- No way, Captain. I have a Reaper built by the Reapers. I know you're not delusional. Although.
- What? Shepard noticed I was thinking.
- To tell you the truth, Captain, I wish this was all a figment of your imagination. I didn't just want to believe it and comfort myself by believing it; I wanted it to be so. That there were no Reapers, no Harvest, no Cycles. Everyone would live a normal life, dealing with their internal problems. But unfortunately, that's not the case. And that knowledge is very... Depressing. You realise you have to do everything you can to prepare, to save someone.
- Yeah. I know the feeling," Shepard said. It's hard. You know you're right. Still, nobody listens to you. They think they're right. Okay," she changed the subject as she was thrown back into her memories, "So it's either go to the space prison or go to the Citadel and troll the Council. We'll go to the Citadel. But we'll wait for Tali first.
- Of course, Captain. I said.
- And Legatus. Thank you for saving her and doing this operation. I did. I talked to her on the flight over here. She was-- She was really scared. She didn't even fully believe that you could help.
- I'm not surprised. I agree. It's hard to believe in pro bono these days.
- Yeah, well, I'm already in it. I'm convinced," the Captain hinted at her resurrection, "All right, you're free to go.
- Yes, Captain," I said, quickly leaving the conference room.
****
The frigate Normandy-SR2. FTL. Tali Zora.
- Well, your eyesight is perfect, Tali," Mordin told me after running some tests.
- I asked you to address me as 'you'," I reminded him because it didn't feel good when he addressed me as 'you'. Not strangers to each other, after all.
- I can't. You're a patient. Doctor's ethics. Consider it a habit," the doctor said in his favourite manner.
- All right. Can I go now?
- Yes. Time to get back to work on the genophage.
- Well, I'll leave you to it. How's Melon, by the way?
- Low and behold. He's afraid to get out of the SHU. We'll drop him off at the Citadel.
- Understood. Thank you." I replied and quickly left his lab. Or Kyla might decide to involve me in all this. Brrr!
The thought gave me goosebumps. I was afraid to imagine what Mordin might do for the sake of science. But I had to admit that he was a good friend.
When I got to my quarters, I began to think about a few things. In fact, everyone here had already become friends with me. Shepard, Liara, Garrus, Rex, Joker, Adams, and Chakwas, of course not even discussed; they remained friends. Mordin, Grant, Samara, and Thayne also became friends with me. Even Zaid, who sometimes creeped me out with his smile. Combined with his scars and his eye, it looked creepy. Susie became a good friend, too, even though she's an AI. Still, you could share thoughts with her without fearing she'd tell someone. And then there's Legatus.
I didn't know what was happening to me. Yes, Legate was more than some geth, AI and everything related to that. I would have safely mistaken him for a human if I hadn't seen him live. Yes, he really did his best to not annoy everyone. He stayed out of the way, always talking business, but in a special way that made me want to talk to him. I realised a long time ago that he was completely different on the inside, and I didn't care that I was constantly talking to the geth platform. It's clear that he just doesn't have another one. Except...
I couldn't understand what was happening to me. Why did I want to spend more and more time with him? Why did it feel so nice to feel metal on my hand when I couldn't see anything? I could feel Shepard's hand when she was sitting with me, and as unnatural as it sounded, it felt better to feel Legatus' hand than Shepard's. And it wasn't the first time. I remember being scared for Legatus when Morinth threw him a few kilometres. Maybe it didn't happen on Omega, but there was no time for that, and then there was genuine gratitude. But on Illium, there was fear. Fear. But fear of what? Was it fear of losing him? Losing a friend, yes, that's understandable, but... If it was fear of losing someone else. Who is Legatus to me, anyway? A friend or-- Something more. But what does it all mean? What's happening to me?
- Hey, Tali, can I talk to you? Shepherd's voice suddenly snapped me out of my reverie.
- Oh, Shepherd. Come in, of course," I said, standing up from my engineering desk.
- I'd like to know how you are doing. After the surgery, after all.
- Oh, I'm fine. It's good to see everything with my own eyes again. Mordin said everything was fine, too. So I'm back in the field," I reassured the Captain. I wanted to be alone but didn't want to kick Shepard out.
- Well, that's good," she said, then squinted at me suspiciously, "Is something wrong?
- No, no, n-nothing..." I denied it, but I started to wring my fingers. I couldn't lie on the fly, and it was easier to think when my hands were doing something. So it gave me away a lot. And Shepard was already good at reading me and my body, no matter how strange it sounded in my mind.
- Tali. What's wrong?" Shepard said with a little smile, but her voice didn't require any objections.
- I don't know, Shepard," I breathed out, trying to gather my thoughts. Я... You know, there's one, I don't know... Intelligent. And I just don't know what's happening to me.
- Okay, Shepherd said, and you could tell from her voice that she was interested; keep going.
- There's really nothing to go on. I don't know what I have to do with him. I... I don't even know what he is to me.
- You don't know, or you don't realise?" Shepherd suddenly asked, and it was spot-on.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know how I feel about him. I'm afraid of losing him; I want to be close to him always like he's the only one who can protect me... Я... I trust him more than anyone else, even you, Jane... Я... I just don't understand what it is.
- But I do," Shepard said, and I could've sworn Kila could've sworn that Shepard was laughing at the whole thing. Keela, I'm pouring my heart out to her, and she's laughing. And you're not gonna tell me why? Tali, you're in love.
- What? That's something I didn't expect. No! It's-- It's-- No.
- Why, Tali?
- Well. It's-- I... It's definitely not love!
- Tali, what is love?
- Love? It's such a-- I... - that's the thing, I didn't know what love was, so I just had to stutter nervously about it - I don't know - I gave up.
- Look, Tali. You're in love. The first time is always like that. You think about someone all the time, you don't know what's wrong with you, and that feeling and the thoughts of that someone eats you up inside. There's a... hopelessness. Shepherd explained. And the worst part is, she was right about everything. She described all the feelings I've felt these past few days.
- So that's what it's like. Love.
- Yes, that's the one. Jane seconded it. So... Who is it?
- Huh?" I didn't understand, as I hardly heard her. I was too deep in thought.
- Who's the lucky winner?
- Um. Lucky. Me, and how do I tell her that? I mean, she's probably gonna say it's a load of bollocks.
- All right, all right. Don't bother. You don't want to say it. But I'll tell you one thing. You don't want to wait too long to confess.
- Really? You-- You think so?
- Yeah. I remember when I realised, I loved Liara. I wanted to wait, figure it out. I thought I'd confess in a month, maybe two, but I did. A month later, I was dead, and Liara-- Well, it's been hard on her. So it's best not to delay. I didn't even know what to say to that. Shepard was right, but... I was scared. I didn't even know what I was afraid of.
- Thank you, Shepherd. Really." I thanked the Captain and gave her a hug.
- You're welcome, Tali," Shepard said and hugged me, too. It was nice to have someone who could help with things like this.
****
The frigate Normandy-SR2. FTL. Tali'Zora. Legate's quarters. In ten hours.
- Legatus," I said as I entered his quarters. He was working on his computers as usual. Many people wouldn't understand why he didn't do things at light speed. He said it was more pleasant for him. He preferred to do things slower. The pleasure was, in the process, whatever he was doing. He sometimes said that with his ability, it didn't matter what he did. Just something to do to keep himself busy. May I?
- Oh, Tali. Sure. Come on in.- he looked up at me while switching off all three computers he was working with. He didn't even trust Shepard, let alone me. His quarters were similar to the others. He also had a bed and furniture, which was odd, but he said he enjoyed it. That could be what made him more... human.
- Legatus, can we, um. talk?" I asked, already doubting that I'd decided to rush off in such a hurry. But there was nowhere to run.
- Yes. About what?" he said calmly. He doesn't know anything.
- It's about-- Us." I started hesitantly, trying to get to the bottom of it. I couldn't just say it like that. I was afraid to tell him, or rather I was afraid that he would... Just turn away. And I was even more afraid that love was... alien to him. Sometimes I thought that all these emotions, jokes, and simple human conversations were just a simulation. That he's really just a machine that follows cold logic. Those thoughts had seemed silly before, but now..... Now I was afraid of those thoughts. I was afraid that now I'd confess and he'd-- He wouldn't feel anything. He'd just stay silent, trying to understand the meaning of the word "love". And that probably scared me more than the attempt to confess my feelings.
- Us?" he said, surprised. "Come on. About what?
- You know, I've been thinking. I've noticed for a long time that you're-- I don't know how to put it. You don't look like a car at all. You know what they say, looks can be deceiving. And that's exactly what they say about you. You're not a machine at all; you're very much alive. I don't know who's right, but you're not a get. And you know, I've noticed for a long time that you've become a friend to me.
- I'm glad to hear it. You and everyone on Normandy have become friends to me." he said as if nothing had happened. Did... No, no, no, he's not like that. He feels something. You may not be able to see it, but I just... I feel it.
- Yeah, it's just. I realised recently that you-- You're-- Oh, Kila, why did I come here?" I gave up, as I didn't know how to continue.
- Tali," the Legate suddenly stepped forward and took me by the shoulders, "Don't be afraid. Speak as you are. It's just you and me.
- Yes... Me and you..." I repeated those two words, which suddenly meant a lot more to me, "In general, I realised that you are to me... More than a friend. I always think about you; I think about your hands when... You were sitting with me. And I'm also starting to get scared. of losing you. I don't understand why; I thought it was normal, but... I've already realised that you're more important to me than Shepherd. Ehhh..." I exhaled and then took a deep breath, but I decided to do it, "I... I love you, Legatus.
He didn't answer at first. Just mockingly focused his camera. Then he lowered his head and only occasionally moved the plates on his head. They strongly resembled eyebrows. And then he just turned around and took a few steps away from me. No, really... Is all this really alien to him? I lowered my head, too, trying to hold back the tears. I was wrong. Looks can't be deceiving, after all.
I was about to leave when Legatus suddenly started.
- You know. I've been thinking about us too for quite some time. Three weeks, I don't know exactly. It all started quietly. I... I was scared of losing you. And then when that thing took you. I just couldn't take it anymore. I flew after you, not really thinking about the consequences. I didn't think about myself. I didn't even think about escaping or anything. I just thought about you surviving. And when I found out you lost your eyes, I felt like I was the last piece... I felt guilty. I didn't know what it was. But now..." he turned around and walked up close to me before touching my face with one hand. I looked into his torch, which wasn't burning brightly, and he gently wiped away my tears. His fingers were cold, made of metal, but I didn't feel uncomfortable. "Now I know what this means," he took me by the waist with one hand and pulled me close to him, "I love you, Tali. Even though I know I will not make you happy, I can't deny it.
- I don't need happiness as many people think of it. Just stay with me, Legatus. I... I'll be happy.