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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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100 Chs

Pre-Academy Jitters. Shadow Clone abuse.

She wasn't nervous, she wasn't! Okay, so maybe she was. But here's the thing, her Shadow Clones on the best of days were just as bad as her, and sometimes even worse when you allowed them to conversate!

She was going to be sending a Shadow Clone to the Academy, after all in reality they weren't actually different from her, except for the fact that if you told them to suicide bomb they'd do it with a smile on their face while cackling. 'So, the worst that could happen is that they do something crazy because they know *they* won't have to deal with it, but *I* will.' 

But in truth, she knew for a fact they would only do something she would do in that situation 99% of the time, but still! 'No, it's not that. It's that I'm just procrastinating because I know that social interaction with the people I'll know for decades in the future when I'm still positively insane and trying to hide it is bad.' Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes for a minute, she'd finally release her breath. 'Alright Shadow Clone, time to face the world.' POP!

-Shadow Clone-

'Really, what was I worrying about?' Stepping into her new classroom for the Semester Naruko's eyes would dart around looking for a seat before plopping herself down into it. She was the first one he- nope, Shino was here. Placing her stuff down at her newly claimed desk she'd stand right back up, saunter on over, and plop down next to him. "Sooo, how was your summer Aburame?"

He pushed up his tinted glasses a little, his jaw flexing a little, whether in surprise or another emotion she didn't know - "I did fine. I helped start a new colony, practiced my Taijutsu, and finally could make ten clones."

'Considering the standard is 3 clones to graduate, that actually is impressive.' "That's great! Over the break, I started on Tree and Water Walking."

His eyebrows rose from behind his glasses. "I see, Father stated that with new standards we were only to learn it after the Academy, it appears I will have to inform him otherwise. Thank you for this information Uzumaki." 'Thought so. It made no sense that neither Sakura nor Sasuke knew Tree or Water Walking and that Ebizu didn't seem surprised he was teaching a genin in the Chunin Exams how to water walk - standards must have changed. If you're going to be promoted to Genin, you should be a Genin in skill. If you're taking the Chunin Exams, you should be a Chunin in skill. Someone must have changed that at some point...'

After a few moments of awkward silence as she had her internal monologue she finally shrugged. "No problem! So, what kind of Insects are in your - er, colony?"

Time passed as they conversed, before finally, people began to trickle on in. "Talk to you later Shino!"

Ending the conversation she'd saunter on down, not to her seat, but to the brooding child himself. Not giving proper greetings, she'd just slap two scrolls down onto his desk. "Found someone selling them, figured you'd want them broody." Emblazoned on each of the scrolls was the famous Uchiha clan symbol.

Not even waiting for his response, she'd go back to her desk and faceplant into it, intending to sleep. 'What better way to ignore questions? Anyways, you're welcome Itachi. As promised, Tree-Walking and Water Walking. I even added in some Fire Style and Lightning Style Jutsu's and their first steps. I even translated them into a language people can understand instead of my Dads!'

"Hey wait! Come back here, what are the-" 'Aah. Blissful silence.'

Time passed, and as class started, she found herself utterly bored. Younger Naruko hated school, it was too still. Far too much sitting around. The older her hated school because it was the same things over and over again, just stated a different way. The new her?

'When do I get to kick people's asses?' Rolling her eyes as Iruka droned on and on and onnnnn she began to snooze off when... "Alright class, it's time for Sparring! Let's see how much you all improved."

'Yessssss. Start of the semester tournament where I get to beat everyone up!' Honestly, it was just unfair. She had mastered water-walking to an absurd degree, which of course, meant that unlike the the rest of the students who had Academy-Level Control for Academy-Level Reserves, she had Chunin-Level Control for well. Really large reserves. Which meant of course she was absurdly faster, stronger, and more durable than them. 'It's honestly not fair what improving your Chakra Control does to a Shinobi's body with chakra active.' After all, Sasuke went from not being able to beat a Zabuza clone, to well. Slaughtering them. 'That's not to mention I've had the next set of weights for a bit now, and because I'm a clone I'm not weighted.'

Yeah, she recognized this was going to be a slaughter. Did it make her sadistic that it was going to make it so much more fun? 'Probably!'

With a mad grin on her face as she left the classroom with the rest of her fellow students, she finally found herself in the academy sparring grounds. "Now remember class, while in training and sparring we stretch first! Now follow along." 'Stop ruining my fun Iruka-sensei! Let me BAP people already.' Even though she was internally complaining she followed along.

Finally, after a boring ten minutes of stretching, he began calling names. 'Background vs Background. Background vs Background. Ugh!'

The fights, even when named characters were fighting, were well. Slow. She hadn't realized how much faster her chakra control and training had made her until this very moment. But, they were just 8 to 9-year-old kids, and she had mastered exercises they weren't meant till years from now. 8 to 9-year-old kids on a peacetime training schedule at that! 'Aah. Okay, maybe this is just going to be more sad than anything.'

As her name was called up and she was facing across from Ami, this purple-haired girl that she knew was a bit of a bully, she couldn't help but feel a bit of pity. 'I thought this would be a fun slaughter, now it's just a sad one.' As she made the sign of Seal of Confrontation and the start of the spar was called she began to think. 'Maybe I should get Ramen for dinner? But that Barbeque place does look good. Mhm. I wonder how my other clones and the main me are doing? Maybe they've finally managed to use multiple water jutsu back to back?' Focusing in on Ami she noticed she was finally halfway to her.

'In a month or two we should probably start working on some lightning jutsu, then wind as the third. It's a bit funny that I'm only taking Wind as my Tertiary Element when it's my Primary, but learning to strive through difficulties will be good for me.' Dodging the blow that finally came, she'd take a step to the left and use the side of her palm to get the second punch off target.

She'd slowly begin to parry, deflect, block, and dodge all of Ami's blows while slowly pushing her back. 'It's not that I'm that much more skilled, albeit I am more skilled. It's that I'm just THAT much faster. I should probably from now go main body working on Shunshin, one working on Kunai, one on Taijutsu, and one on Water Style. This clone should go to the Academy, and probably start working on the first Water-Style Control exercise. I can drop Fuinjutsu until I can safely use a fifth clone for training.'

Remember to pay a bare minimum of attention to the spar, she finally decided that was enough training for Ami, and landed a solid blow to cause her to stumble out of the arena. "That was a good spar Ami!" Helping her on up, Naruko would make the seal of reconciliation with her.

"Thanks, hey! You started working on the Defensive Style, do you think I should too?" Thinking for a moment at the actually good question from someone she had just passed off as a background character, she'd finally nod. "Learning the Defensive Style would help you improve your temperament in battle like it did for me! Hey, that's a great idea, I think it would actually be the best fit for you!"

Both of them walked off to the side as other spars went on she couldn't help but feel a bit... surprised. 'I had passed her off as a background bully who liked Sasuke too much. That IS the case. She is a bit of a bully, and she does like Sasuke. But... anyone who joined the academy didn't join because they liked Sasuke. They joined because they wanted to be a Ninja. Especially the civilians.'

A grin made its way onto her face as she discussed the differences between the more Offensive Academy Style and the more Defensive one with the girl. 'I guess what the Academy can really teach me... is comradery. But I suppose you knew that, huh, Tobirama Senju?' Indeed. How could a systemized learning academy EVER compare to the teachings of a clan or a sensei teaching a small group of people? But that wasn't what the academy was about. It was about giving the opportunity to the non-clan shinobi, and also, to teach one thing that people lack - camaraderie outside of the clan.

Time passed as she sparred with more and more people. 'Quite a few of these 'background' characters don't use the Academy Style. They use their family or clans. After all, it's noted that Konoha has quite a few clans, it's just that most of them aren't named, or don't have anything special to them. Let alone I'm sure some of them, and those in other classes are actually boarding somewhere and are from clans outside of Konoha but in Fire Country.'

Learning more about her village a smile would almost permanently reside on her face no matter who she faced. Time passed before Naruko was getting down to her final matches and the people she most wanted to face. Of course, so far she hadn't lost a match, or even gotten hit. Yet, the remaining three were the ones she was by far most excited for. Hinata, Sasuke, and Shino. 'Choji and Shikamaru are throwing matches as expected. That was just boring really. But then again, the Akimchi and the Nara always seem to like to take the background and let the Yamanaka be the spotlight, at least in the public eye.'

Her match with Shino was interesting, to say the least. The Aburame were methodical fighters who in hand-to-hand combat would slowly decimate the defenses of their foe, only to strike like a viper with whatever bugs they had on them. 'His is unmastered, unrefined. But I can see numerous places where different kinds of bugs could have been useful. Truly an interesting clan!'

Helping him up and making the seal of reconciliation, she could see no negative emotions even for a brief moment as he made it as well. Raising an eyebrow he responded, apparently understanding her thoughts enough. "It is to be expected you would win. With your Chakra Reserves and Control, only the Taijutsu Specialists will ever have a chance while in the academy." 'What a smart one!'

Grinning at him she'd go to clap him on the back only to stop. 'Don't want to crush anything on accident.' "Well, I hope everyone else sees it like that!" 

Some more time passed, and her Sasuke match wasn't that interesting, which was a shame. But without the Sharingan, Kunai, or Shuriken the Uchiha Taijutsu Style wasn't the most interesting thing. But, what was interesting was his reaction. This wasn't the Sasuke corrupted by the Curse Mark. This wasn't the Sasuke that had been Tsukiyomi'd again by Itachi. No, this was the little brooder who would grow up to sacrifice his life for his teammate he'd only been on a squad with for a short while.

So when she looked into his eyes shining with determination as he made the seal of reconciliation she had a realization. 'Damn, these poor kids never had a chance with that kind of attitude.' Giggling internally at the thought she'd grin at him. "It was a good match, I just finished some training ahead of time. I bet next time will be closer!"

As they parted ways she couldn't help but feel a little proud. 'This is the Ninja Academy. Not the mockery of it made from Naruto's biased perspective. Not the Ninja Academy made fun of because people don't realize Naruto WAS a slacker. No, this is it. An Academy meant to grow students as Shinobi and People, not in strength, but in mind and heart... Albeit the way Kunoichi classes are structured is still stupid as shit.' 

But, the most interesting match spar he for the day was also her last one - against Hinata. Not because she was particularly skilled, albeit she was actually a bit better in Sasuke, she was a Hyuga after all, no. It was because Naruko had to change how she fought. She couldn't block any of the blows, or potentially she'd go POP!

So, she went on the aggressive, which was actually for the better. 'If I'm going to be mauling these poor kids, I might as well focus on their weaknesses, and Hinata was never shown to have Kaiten - thus defense is her weakness.' It showed in her sparring as well. Sasuke's blocks, parries, and deflections were smoother and crisp. So where Shino's. This Hinata had been trained for pure offense. While her blows were smooth and efficient, her transitions to more defensive postures and movements showed inexperience. - Although everything about all of them was inexperienced, it was noticeable. At least to her when she had time to plan a few hundred steps ahead in such a slow-paced spar.

'Alright, out you go!' Throwing out a palm thrust to Hinata's sternum, Naruko would step out of the ring in a familiar motion, and make the Seal of Reconciliation. Hinata said nothing, just having a blank look on her face, and so in response, Naruko said nothing as well before turning around.

"Alright, class! It's clear that some of you have made improvements, and some of you need some help! But that's for later on. For now, the rest of you enjoy your day! Come back bright and early tomorrow for ACTUAL classes. Remember to turn in all the summer homework you have for your classes before leaving the academy however."

Naruko said her goodbyes to Shino and Ami, before turning in her Summer homework, which blegh, and then went to the bathroom and popped herself out of existence. 'The start of the day was a bit boring, but that tournament...' She disappeared from the world with a smile on her face.

I won't be showing the academy too much, but I wanted to show that it wasn't just the 'HAHA SABOTAGE NARUTO' that some fanfictions make it out to be. If you want for me to show/write about anything in specific before I start the time skip galore, please do tell me! Also, I hope that this chapter showed the purpose of the Academy isn't to churn out powerhouse after powerhouse right out of the gates. Instead, in peacetime its goal is to groom and teach commanders and squad leaders, and then to let their Jonin (or Special Jonin/Chunin depending on grades, and other factors) teach them to grow in power.

Send help, please. Chapters are on average getting longer and it scares me. (Holy shit we're number one on collections, number two on Powerstones, number two on popular, number 6 on active, and number 4 on updates!)

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