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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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109 Chs

It has come.

Standing in the center of the arena at the start of the semester Naruko would look around for a moment before beginning. "We come to a new semester. For some of you, this will be your last semester." She looked over each of the students whose last semester this was. 'Team Gai will be formed in a few months.' "For others, this is your first semester. Our cycle is always churning. Some of your old friends are now gone, but new ones have come. It is a joyful, but also sad moment."

She stopped for a split second, eyes tracking something no one else noticed, before silently substituting herself with a clone. A second later she'd silently move outside of the arena, and jump up into a tree next to an ANBU. "Yes?"

There was a heavy set to the ANBUs frame. "Hokage-sama has called for you, immediately." A frown would appear on Naruko's face before she nodded and pulled on her chakra. A moment later a swirl of leaves would fall off the branch of the tree.

A few seconds later she standing on a massive windowsill. 'Shit, what happened?' Knocking on the window a moment later it would open. "Come on in Naruko." His voice held all of its age and had hints of rage and at the same time sadness.

Hopping on it, she'd silently stand in front of the desk for a few moments as Hiruzen scribbled something out, before looking up. He sighed. "Kumogakure has declared war on Sunagakure for 'unknown reasons'. Iwagakure has declared war on, well everyone but Kirigakure. Kirigakure has declared war on Kumogakure. I suspect within the month Kumogakure and Kirigakure will declare war on us for some reason or another."

Naruko grimaced. "So it's finally come?"

Hiruzen nodded. "Indeed my dear, you know what that means."

She slumped slightly. "No more sneaking my main body onto missions. No more disappearing from my ANBU."

He nodded. "Indeed. You also can't ever be on the verge of chakra exhaustion, in case you need to be teleported to deal with another Jinchuriki. I don't expect that to happen until at least Kumo and Kiri declare war on us, however."

Naruko nodded in ascent. "Can you tell me who will be leading each border?"

He stared at her for a few moments before finally saying, "Jiraiya will be stationed near the Land of Hot Water." 'Near Sound.' "Kakashi Hatake, Might Guy, and Yuna Senju will be near the Land of Jungle. Tsunade will remain wandering about the eastern side of Fire Country. The various clan heads will be spread across the three borders."

He stood up slightly and pointed towards a wall where a map was, before slowly making his way towards it. "In the beginning stages of this war things will be different than usual. We won't be able to use the Land of Storms as the staging ground for the battle between Kumo, Suna, and ourselves. Kiri and Kumo for once aren't attacking us at the start, so we have time to prepare, but at the same time for Kumo, we don't know their forces in the Land of Hot Water and Land of Frost, and for Kiri, we don't know where their staging ground will be. Will it be Wave? The ruins of Uzu? The land of Forests? Even the Land of Tea or the worst case scenario - the land of Hot Water alongside Kumo."

With each nation he said, he tapped on the map. "There are too many unknowns as of now. Will the battle again Iwa be in the Land of Jungles? Land of Fields? What about the Land of Stone or Birds? I've already explained Kiri and Kumo. But we also don't know how Amegakure will act. Will they remain neutral? We just don't know."

He sighed, "What's even worse is that the Land of Demons has requested aid, and the Shinobi we sent haven't come back." 'Fuck, there's like, a Proto-Bijuu there or something right?'  "You wouldn't know it, at least you shouldn't but there's a gate to hell there." 'What. The fuck did you just say?'

"Woah! Hold on. Gramps, did you just say a gate to hell? Like, hell hell?"

Hiruzen would grimace. "We aren't sure if it's actually hell. Horrifying beasts occasionally come out of it, and when we explored the surrounding terrain it was incredibly... hostile. Any sealing attempts were only temporary."

'Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck. I don't want any crossover bullshit!' "Nothing sentient has ever come out of it, right?"

His head turned back to the map. 'Kami damnit.' "I'll give you all the information we have on the other Jinchuriki, even those previously classified to you. As well as all-known Elite Jonin and Kage-class Shinobi. But I suspect you won't need most of it, after all, you seem to know everything about them even though that information shouldn't be possible for you to get." There was a quirk of his lips at that.

"Gramps I don't know what you mean, y'know! All information I have was legally obtained in a sane and understandable manner."

"I'm sure. Speaking of other matters - the war will be announced later this evening. I expect tomorrow for you to have a speech prepared for the academy." 

Naruko grimaced but nodded. "Fine, but don't think I forgot about you not saying anything about anything sentient leaving that portal!"

"I didn't expect you to." Stepping back to his chair with a small groan he'd sit down. "The last thing I have to tell you is that your Jonin Exams are being scheduled and arranged, but it will take a long while to have the proper examiners be free."

Nodding like a penguin about to tip over a bright smile would fall on her face for a moment. "Alright Gramps! I'll beat the shit out to those examine- I meant exams."

He let out an amused sigh. "I'm sure you will. Now get back to your students Naruko." 

-Danzo-

"You told her about the Demon Realm." He watched as Hiruzen's eyes closed in exasperation at his sudden entrance.

"We're old Danzo. Ohnoki is as insistent on ignoring the truth and as strong as Rasa is, he can't handle it himself. As usual, it will have to be Konoha dealing with it, and it can't be us the older generation for much longer."

Danzo tapped his cane on the ground in irritation. "I agree. The clone Itachi left with the Akatsuki has told me that they intend to use this war to gather funds for Amegakure."

He watched as his old friend grimaced. "So Nagato still has the belief that if he gathers all the Bijuu, all wars will stop?"

"Is he wrong?" Danzo's retort was quick and sharp, causing Hiruzen to sink into his chair.

"No. But what happens when he dies, and there is no one in the next generation to inherit his power?"

Danzo chuckled at that. "I know Hiruzen, a peace gathered through borrowed power like that will never last. A peace built on one, two, or even nine people will never last. But we've tried to tell him this before. But his childhood and the whispers of that masked person have deluded him into believing it's the only path."

"It's such a shame. Because he truly is quite a pleasant person. He sent me some local coffee he himself grows you know?"

In response, Danzo thwapped Hiruzen's shin. "You're always like this you old monkey, just because you like someone doesn't mean they're on your side. Besides, we both know he laced that with narcotics."

Hiruzen grinned. "Didn't stop it from being really good coffee."

In the future, I'll only be responding to power scaling stuff on the rd disco app/service - gvu53aPBuX - there's the invite. Because I come off really fucking pissed when I see something obvious to me.

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