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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Anime & Comics
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100 Chs

End of the fight & Jonin

Patting the dirt off of her Naruko with a grin on her face would begin to hum as the dust around her settled, three chakra tails flicking eagerly behind her. "Hey, hey. Roshi! You're good, right? Would be boring if you died from that!"

There was groaning through the cloud of dust, and the sound of someone getting up off the ground. "Damn brat. Don't you have any respect for your Elders hitting me like that?"

"Nope! No respect. Besides it's your fault you underestimated me so much!"

The dust settled showing Roshi's entire form covered with lava, four bright red chakra tails behind him. "You're right. I should have remembered what kind of monsters Kyuubi Jinchurikis are."

She threw him a thumbs-up. "Yup! That's us, big monsters! Rawr." She paused flushing slightly, "Ignore I said that. Uh, you want to continue or?"

He chuckled slightly at her blush. "No, I'm good. My mission is over. Unless you'd like to force me to attack your fleeing Shinobi?"

She shrugged. "Alright, I'm off then Roshi! Oh right. I should probably actually chase you off instead of letting you flee right?" There was a gleam in her eyes as Roshi prepared himself. "Prepare yourself Roshi, Gramps would yell at me if I just let you leave like that!"

Naruko raised her right hand up into the air. "Oh for fucks sake why are all of you Kyuubi Jinchuriki so fucking crazy?!?" His skin began to peel off as it turned a vibrant dark red, his tails shifting from bright red and see-through to a dark red that couldn't be seen past. 

"Because IT'S FUN!" With that, she surged her Chakra through her arm into her hand, and a Rasengan formed. It grew larger and larger, and larger. Until a titanic house-sized vermillion Rasengan appeared in her hand.

"Cho Odama Rasengan!" She lept forward the usually yellow Rasengan turned purple from the Kyuubi's chakra tearing through all the trees in the way as she brought it down upon Roshi who's mouth was now wide open, a purple ball forming in front of it.

The Bijuu Bomb clashed with the Cho Odama Rasengan, and for a brief moment she was stalled - before it crushed the miniature Bijuu Bomb and slammed directly into Roshi.

"Whoops?" Her eyes tracked the figure that went soaring off into the distance. "Eh, he's probably fine? Yeah, I'm sure he's fine, y'know." She ignored the clone staring at her with a deadpan look. 'All is fine is Ba Sing Se clone-me.'

Turning around the three-tailed chakra cloak would fade. "Well, that looks like a mission well done! The best part is I sense Kakashi and Guy rushing over... that means I can leave all the post-mission work on them!" 

With a little skip in her step, she'd start shouting "Genma, Raido, Iwashi! Hurry up, we need to leave so we can leave all the boring stuff too Kakashi and Guy!"

-After mission- 

"So then I went BAM! He went flying, but he landed a kick so I went flying. So then I decided it was time to have some fun, so I went ZOOM! Stepping it up into high gear and shoved a Rasengan into his gut! Sadly his lava and tails blocked it, so I pushed more chakra, and then we kept using more chakra. He made a few Bijuu Bombs. I used a few really big Rasengans, and then he went flying!"

There was a slow blink before Hiruzen slowly sighed. "So should I expect your written report to be the one that actually explains things like usual?"

Naruko pouted. "You just can't understand my story-telling skills."

"Mission reports aren't supposed to be storytelling moments." There was an utterly done-with-life tone in his voice. In response, Naruko humphed before putting her arms under her chest with her cheeks puffed out. He sighed. "Fine. I like your storytelling. Happy?"

"Thanks, Gramps! I knew you liked it, so that means I'll continue doing it!" 

There was a groan before he waved his hand. "Just take your Jonin Flak Jacket and get out of my office, please. I have reports to do."

"Yes head paper-pusher sir!" With a salute, she'd snag the Flak Jacket that was on his desk, and form a hand sign. A moment later she'd disappear.

"The Hirashin doesn't even work inside of my office, why does she keep doing that?!?" Sadly, no one answered the baffled poor Hokage. 

-Yuna Senju & Tenzo vs Han- 

Yuna looked over at her compatriot who had begun to flag slightly. 'Damn. He's not ready to fight against someone like Han. Even I'm not.' Looking out at the destroyed field she'd grimace slightly at the man turned beast, five dark red chakra tails swaying behind him as his skin was no longer visible. 'We'll have to use Wood Style if this continues...' 

A horn blared from behind Han, and the man-turned-beast that was prowling forward halted. She could see the beast turn its head slightly back towards its head towards the horn, towards them, and let out a snarl, before rushing away from them. 'Thank Kami.' 

Next to her Tenzo let out a sigh of relief before dropping to his knees. "That was close..."

She sighed sitting down herself sweat beading on the back of her neck. "It was, the next time this happens we can't hold back."

He frowned before slowly nodding. "I didn't expect a Jinchuriki was actually that strong... Have you ever faced one before Yuna-senpai?"

Yuna grimaced, "No, not like that at least. I once suppressed Naruko Uzumaki - but it was nothing like that..." her eyes grew distant. "I can't believe that Hashirama-sama could suppress them all so easily. Or that the Sannin or Sensei could actually fight them and even manage to win."

Tenzo slumped slightly. "If only Hashirama-sama or your sensei were still around. This war would be so much easier."

Yuna patted him on the shoulder, "It's alright Tenzo, we'll make do. Now let's go rally our Shinobi. Kakashi and Guy went to deal with Roshi, remember?"

Pulling himself up he'd compose himself before nodding. "Yes, senpai."

-Kakashi Hatake & Might Guy -

"Aah. It appears Naruko was here already." Kakashi lazily rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess that means we have no work to do?"

A heavy slap on his back made him stumble slightly. "No, my rival! You see, we have an even greater duty! We must compete. To see who can rally the Shinobi the best! You see our shinobi are faltering. They have broken the line running in fear of the great Roshi! It's our duty to fix that."

Kakashi blinked. 'How is that a challenge Guy?'  His eye closed in a smile, not showing his internal thoughts. "Maaah. Looks like I'll be winning this challenge then Guy."

"Your hipster 'cool' attitude will not beat out my springtime of YOUTH Kakashi!"

Kakashi shrugged, slouching slightly, and pulled out a book. "You say something?" He strolled forward.

Behind him, Guy slumped. "He did it again, why does he always do this to me?" He straightened up flashing a smile, "No matter. I'll show you Ka-kashi! My YOUTH will beat your hip and cool ways!" He rushed forward quickly overtaking Kakashi.

Super freaking busy today probably gonna be the only chapter. It's also why it's a bit of a *meh* chapter.

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