Chapter 37 - Water 7 Pt 2 2/3

"Oh, yeah, sure. Check it out!" And without further ado, he grabbed his right wrist and yanked his forearm in half. While the rest of my crewmates recoiled in shock, I whistled in awe and leaned forward to give the separation a closer look. Besides his arm being hollow inside, less than an inch of Franky's epidermis—no, of an epidermis-like facsimile—was wrapped around the metal of the limb. Overall, it was damn impressive.

"What on earth!?" Vivi breathed in shock.

"Even I know that that's not normal," Conis gasped.

"What the heck are you!?" Su demanded.

"I'm a cyborg, of course!" Franky proclaimed proudly as he refastened his limb. "This body you're looking at is known as Battle Franky 36, my thirty-sixth custom creation! I went through my own level of hell that wrecked my body something fierce and rebuilt myself from the ground up. Pretty sweet, huh?"

"To be clear, you made this badass monument to all things manly yourself?" Boss clarified as he gestured at Franky.

"Eeyup!" Franky chirped, popping a firm thumbs-up.

"…I am intrigued," Boss finally admitted, stroking his chin.

A cough sounded out from Vivi's direction, drawing attention back to her. "Well, now I see why Cross wanted your expertise." I grinned in response to her glance in my direction. "But I think we might have gotten off-topic. Anyway, to clarify why I brought that particular ordeal up…" She sighed and hung her head. "Cross… wasn't the only one of us crippled in the fighting."

"Seriously?" Franky sat up in shock. "But I don't remember—?"

"We… didn't find out until today," Vivi clarified. "During an altercation with one of Eneru's priests before the war proper, our comrade was thrown just the wrong way and…" She bowed her head, forcing her voice to remain steady. "And her… her keel cracked."

It took a few seconds for that to sink in. When it did, however, Franky's expression was equal parts awed and horrified as he leaned back in his seat. "…Your ship? The… The Going Merry, right?" His eyes widened in shock. "And… And you said you only found out today? She's been sailing with a snapped keel for—?" Apparently our expressions were answer enough, going by how he slapped a hand to his forehead. "Holy shit…"

"Precisely…" I nodded gravely. "We… We'd love to fix her somehow, we really would, but—!"

"Not possible," Franky interrupted, shaking his head in denial. "For a ship to sail for even a week with a snapped keel is a miracle, but two months is utterly unheard of. The damage that your ship's infrastructure must have suffered since then…" He gave us all a sad look. "This goes so far beyond just her keel now. I'm sorry, but you'd need to replace… almost every other part of her hull from the keel out to fix her. I don't doubt that she's strong, she'd have to be, but… Water 7's her grave now."

We all flinched and lapsed into miserable silence as the harsh reality of our situation washed over us again. I thought I had already exhausted my grief. I was wrong; I had to try hard to not start crying again. There was a respectful moment of silence before Franky spoke again, more softly. "So, if you came to someone like me with this, then… I'm guessing you want me to handle her… end?"

Boss recovered first, shaking his head as he bit down on his cigar. "Ah… no, not… exactly. Merry's our ship and our responsibility, we can give her a dignified end on our own. No, we're not here concerning an ending. We're here about a new beginning."

"Eh?"

"Mister Franky." Vivi drew herself to attention as she pinned Franky with a gaze practically shining in its intensity. "We are here on behalf of the Straw Hat Pirates in order to commission the construction of our new ship by yours truly."

The cyborg immediately fell into a more guarded expression. "Wait, you're asking me to make you a new ship? Because that's Galley-La's forte, my reputation is as a ship dismantler. Why would you think that it'd be a good idea to come to me for this?"

"Because as you yourself have so aptly demonstrated, you're one of, if not the best engineer on this side of the Grand Line, surpassed only by Doctor Vegapunk himself," I cut in. "You literally built yourself from the ground up. Any ship made by you would be a work of absolute perfection."

"Eh? Doctor who?" Franky asked in confusion.

"YES!" Soundbite started to cackle…

SMACK! "AGH!"

Until I forced him back into his shell, anyways. "Not the time, Soundbite."

"Killjoy…"

"…Alwight, moving on fow the sake of sanity?" Carue suggested.

"Agreed," Franky said, his eyes narrowing as he looked over us. "Because I've still got questions. I'll admit that you'll be hard-pressed to find a better engineer than me, even in Galley-La, but that still doesn't connect to ship-building, so how the hell did you know to ask me to do this for you?"

"You were actually recommended to us as the best person to ask," Conis provided.

Franky was silent for a second before slowly rising to his feet and looming over us, his expression shadowed but not doing anything to hid his flinty glare. "Who. Told you. To ask for me?" he demanded, his voice promising nothing but pain if he didn't like the answer.

It was a true credit to Vivi that she didn't even flinch before the display, instead favoring Franky with a cool stare. "It was the station-mistress of Switch Station, one Granny Kokoro," she replied, producing and holding out the letter from said station-mistress as though it were yesterday's to-do list written on the back of last year's receipt.

Franky's expression changed again, from barely concealed murderous rage to equally barely hidden shock and then just as swiftly to deliberate neutrality. Without giving anything away, the cyborg took the letter and opened it. He raised his eyebrows as he read the message, and then sank back into his seat in wide-eyed shock as he reached the finish. A few seconds later, he slowly folded up the message and replaced it in the envelope before locking eyes with each of us.

"You spoke… to a Klabautermann? She… She came out in plain sight when you asked?" he breathed.

One and all, we grimaced anew and struggled to hold back our tears as the memory came back to us.

"…I wasn't expecting that." Franky bowed his head with a quiet sigh, tearing up again. "For a ship to love their crew that much… to keep going past her own limits, and to show that much emotion to you… IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER HEARD!" he declared, bawling his eyes out again.

My eye twitched as he sobbed miserably. "Ah… not that we don't appreciate your support, but if we could get back on topic please—?" I requested as my hand drifted down to my bag.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" everyone else in the house roared furiously.

"Alright, alright, no need to yell!" I snickered as I snapped my hands up.

"Starting to see why the Government wants your head…" Franky grumbled as he wiped his eyes and got his composure back. "Alright, so, Granny sent you to me, huh… look, let's be clear here: what exactly are you looking for from me?"

My smile faded, and I glanced at Vivi for confirmation, to which she responded with a nod, prompting Boss and I to place our briefcases on the coffee table. "We came to you, Franky, because besides being a genius in the field of engineering, you also have extensive connections in the black market. We'd like to hire you to build us a ship worthy of a new Pirate King, one to rival the Oro Jackson itself." I kindly ignored the slight twitch in Franky's eye at that. "Of course, for this endeavor to be accomplished, a necessary component would be wood from the Jewel Tree Adam."

Boss and I clicked our cases open, and Franky's jaw all but hit the ground as we showed off the amount of wealth we were hauling. "What we have here is ฿500 million in gold and cash. Should you accept, we'd like you to use it to buy what you need for our ship, but before that…" I scrunched my eyes shut, struggling to fend off the image of the fire and snow. "Before that, we want you to at least try scouring the market for any chance, no matter how remote, that we can keep Merry with us. We've all accepted that we have to move on and let her go, but…"

I gave him a truly desperate look. "I… back on Skypiea, I talked to Merry, and I promised her, promised her that I would do anything that I could to save her. I… I know now that she lied to me when she said that she would be fine, that she still had a chance but…" I shook my head. "But damn it, I'm a member of the Strawhat Pirates, and I wouldn't be worthy of our flag if I didn't do every last thing I possibly could to keep a promise. And at this point… at this point the black market connections are that very last thing. So if there's some way Merry can stay with us… then we'll take it in a second."

Franky stared silently at me for a few seconds before exhaling. "I promise you, Cross, if there's anything that can help her, I'll get it. Saving the Merry after all I've heard about her would be worth more than twice this money."

I managed a weak, grateful smile, but it faded as Franky folded his arms and continued. "But, in the event that I can't find anything… The going rate for Adam wood is currently about ฿200 million a shipment, and extra materials shouldn't cost more than that. You're offering me more than enough for the supplies for your new ship, but my question is, how much of this is for your ship, and how much do I get to keep? And before you say anything!" He snapped his hand up to forestall any protests. "I still have my family to take care of, and the going has been rough lately, what with the Marines coming around more often to get their ships from Galley-La. I'll still help you, that's decided, but I just wanna hammer out the details is all."

I took a second to process that before snapping my case shut—which Boss mirrored—and sitting back with a nod to Vivi. "You're up, Princess."

Vivi sat up straighter as she locked eyes with Franky. "How much of it do you want to take?"

Franky folded his arms. "Like I said, with my connections, it'll take about ฿200 million to buy enough Adam wood to build you the ship of your dreams; any other odds and ends I can get from what's already on this island. So, straight up, I'd like the remaining ฿300 million."

"Unacceptable," Vivi declared without hesitation. "฿25 million, at most."

"T-Twenty-five—!? You must be kidding!" Franky scoffed as he slammed a hand on the coffee table. "No freaking way! I have fifty-five people and two King Bulls in my family, they're as big as Sea Kings! Twenty-five wouldn't last more than three days! ฿275 million!"

"฿50 million, we still need to live with Nami," Vivi retorted.

Franky winced sympathetically at that. "Alright, that's fair…" His expression became set in stone a moment later. "But my sympathy only goes so far. ฿200 million, final offer."

"฿75 million."

Franky's expression didn't shift. "200 million," he repeated firmly.

A flash of worry shot across Vivi's face. "I… 100 million, final offer."

The cyborg slowly crossed his arms over his chest, not even so much as a muscle twitching. "Two. Hundred. Million."

Vivi and I exchanged panicked glances, and for good reason. What the heck were we supposed to do!? Franky wasn't budging, but we both knew that if we came out of this with less than two-thirds of Nami's money, our lives would be utterly forfeit. Unless we came up with something fast—!

"Ahem."

We snapped our attention over to Boss. The dugong was sporting a supremely serious expression.

"If you don't mind," he announced gruffly. "I'll do the job you brought me here to do."

And without further ado, he ripped the cuff attaching him to our gold clean off his arm, removed his flak jacket, folded it onto the sofa, and hopped onto the coffee table.

"Whad da heck…?" Carue muttered, scratching his head in confusion.

Franky, for his part, didn't even flinch. He just kept staring dead ahead with stony impassivity. The expression was mirrored muscle for muscle by Boss. Then, slowly, Boss began bending over, stretching his flippers down and out and stretching out his shoul…ders…

"…Is he…" I started slowly, completely and utterly incapable of of believing what I was seeing. "Is he… flexing?"

"…Yes," Soundbite nodded in awe. "Yes, he IS."

And indeed he was. Boss was flexing his body in one of the most iconic bodybuilding poses known to man, his muscles bulging to the absolute maximum that his relatively diminutive musculature allowed. Franky merely raised an eyebrow at the display while the rest of us looked at Boss in confusion and awe… though mostly confusion.

Vivi leaned over and whispered, "Uh… Cross, any idea what this is in aid of?" into my ear.

"Not a clue, but we did bring him here because he can relate to Franky. Let's just trust him and see where it goes for now," I whispered back. "I mean, he is our crewmate, so—!"

CRACK!

"—eh?" I started as a sound much like cracking glass sounded out. "What the heck—?"

CRA-CRA-CRACK!

Su gasped in shock as a rapid staccato of cracks sounded out before shakily pointing her paw out. "L-Look! His shell!"

We all looked at where the fox was pointing, and then my eyes shot wide as I saw that Boss's turtle shell had a whole spider web of cracks running through it.

"Boss, be careful!" Conis warned desperately. "Your shell, it's starting to—!"

SMASH!

Conis's voice—and everyone else's in the Franky House, for that matter—died in her throat as the dugong's shell shattered, fragments of it flying in every which way you can imagine.

But that wasn't what really shocked us.

What shocked us all into silence… was what was underneath his shell.

Muscle. Pure, hulking slabs of muscle. Somehow, against all forms of logic, beneath Boss's shell he was completely and utterly ripped. I had seen Zoro's muscles more times than I care to admit thanks to our far-too-numerous training sessions, and by God, that man had absolutely nothing on the beast before me. It was like staring at a few-feet tall Olympic-grade weightlifter prepped for a bodybuilding competition.

For the longest time, nobody dared to move as Boss posed. Finally, however, all while maintaining his stony expression, Franky stood to his feet, looming over us again, and then… drew his forearms together as he mirrored Boss's pose?!

Vivi's jaw promptly dropped. "You have got to be shitting me."

RRRRRIP!

"…Appawently not," Carue said through his gaping beak as Franky's Hawaiian shirt practically exploded off of his taut physique.

They were… posing at one another. There was no other word for it. They were just flat-out flexing and posing at one another, their muscles rippling and their expressions utterly determined as they squared off against one another. Muscle against muscle, buff against buff. A battle of two forces of raw flesh and will clashing against one another.

This confrontation was… it-it was… it was… I honestly don't know what the hell it was. A melee of mental fortitude, maybe? A brawl of brawn? All I know was that as I stared at the display before me, this exhibition of pure manliness, I was… moved.

Honestly, I think I felt something new within myself. A shift or a change or… or…

…wait a second…

I pulled my collar out and looked down at my chest in disbelief. "Holy shit, my chest hair is growing."

Conis and Vivi both stared at me for a moment before turning their attention back to the bodybuilders. They maintained their stances for a few seconds more. Then, all at once, they moved—

SLAM!

—and the next thing I knew, after a thunderclap of flesh-on-flesh… they were clasping hands, staring in each other's eyes with what could only be described as mutual adoration.

"฿100 million it is. Pleasure doing business with you," Franky announced.

"Indeed, brother, indeed," Boss nodded in solemn agreement.

SLAM!

Far from being relieved or happy, Vivi moaned miserably as she ground her forehead into the coffee table. "I spent over half my life learning the fine, fine, fine art of diplomacy…" she lamented. "And he succeeds where I was utterly failing with mere flexing…" She turned her head on its side, displaying twin streams of tears trailing down her face and an utterly shattered smile. "This officially tears it. Even with everything I know, even despite being born in it, I'm never going to stop being surprised at what the Grand Line throws at me."

"There, there…" Conis breathed soothingly as she leaned over the couch to rub the traumatized Princess's back. "Better this outcome than having to go back and tell Nami that we gave him 40%."

Vivi's only response was a pained whimper.

It took me a second to get my jaw moving again. "…Well, this is still something to remember, eh, Soundbite?"

Silence.

"Uh, Soundbite?" I looked at Soundbite curiously, only to find that the snail was gnawing on his lower lip in what appeared to be a desperate attempt to stay silent. I opened my mouth to ask again, but then, all at once, he snapped his mouth open and bellowed out in an announcer's voice.

"BOSS USED SHELL SMASH! IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!"

"SUPER!" Franky bellowed as he slammed his forearms above his head before blinking in confusion. "Eh? Wait, what just happened?"

I blinked as I processed what he'd just said and then I leveled a flat look at the snail as he panted with a relieved smile. "That was just killing you, wasn't it?" I deadpanned.

"You have NO IDEA!" Soundbite groaned.

"Speaking of…" Su cocked an eyebrow as she looked Boss over. "Didn't that… I dunno, hurt?"

Boss glanced up at her before blinking as he realized that he was naked, covering up the embarrassment with a deep cough. "Ah… no, no it did not. Apropos of nothing, could someone please hand me my jacket? It's… It's chilly in here."

We all stared blankly at him for a moment before hanging our heads with simultaneous groans.

"Pride: the ultimate steroid," Su muttered knowingly.

"Agreed…" the rest of us chorused.

-o-

"…and after that, Franky went off to get things arranged on his end before he could take off to buy the materials, and you had no trouble on your way back to the Merry?" Nami asked, concluding the summary of what happened to us after our two groups had parted ways.

"Yeah, that pretty much covers it," I confirmed, before glancing in Boss' direction. "So, Boss, tell me, what are you going to do about your—Boss?"

The Dugong's jacket was lying on the deck, but the Dugong himself was nowhere to be seen. I made to glance at Soundbite—

SPLASH! "Sorry, did you call me?"

Before noting that Boss had just jumped out of the water, back onto the deck… and with a new shell on his back that was utterly indistinguishable from the old one.

"You—but—I… no, you know what? You know what?" Vivi threw her hands up and marched towards the women's quarters. "I don't want to know, I really, just do not want to know. I am done. Done!" she declared, entering her room and slamming the door behind her.

Nami stared after her for a second before sighing and looking towards the quartet of ship's guards staring in starry-eyed awe at their teacher. "Raphey, can you please go and try to calm Vivi down? Hopefully your… expertise in Grand Line madness will be of use."

The pink-clad Dugong promptly snapped a salute at our navigator before pumping her tail and belly-sliding towards the women's quarters. And with that, Nami stood up with a clap of her hands. "Now, Cross, Zoro? Staff meeting. Boss, you and your boys know what to do."

"Aye, Nami," the four Dugongs saluted as we headed towards the storage area. There was silence for almost a minute before Nami spun around and grabbed my shoulders.

"Cross," she stated with dead-serious conviction as she stared me straight in the eyes. "Are you absolutely certain that Kalifa, Kaku, and Lucci are with CP9?"

I blinked at her, but promptly steeled my will as I replied with equal firmness. "Some time soon, most likely tonight seeing as they'd want to use Aqua Laguna to cover their tracks, those three plus Blueno will tear through Galley-La like an unholy storm, striking down their comrades and coworkers without so much as a hint of remorse before attempting to assassinate Iceburg in cold blood. Of this, I have no doubt."

The second I finished, Nami's pupils dilated in horror and the blood utterly drained from her face. She slowly stumbled back from me, a shaky hand raising to cover her mouth. "Oh… Oh, God…"

Zoro started towards her with an expression that could be vaguely interpreted as concern. "What did they do, Nami?"

"N… N… N-Nothing," Nami whispered, desperately shaking her head in denial. "T-That's the whole problem! I have years of experience in long cons, for the majority of my life I have been anyone but me, I have been them… and I was scanning them for any cracks whatsoever! I-I was subtle, don't worry, they never noticed, I made sure of that!" she reassured me when she noticed that I looked ready to puke. "But… But that doesn't change the fact that they put on such a good show that I… that they made me actually doubt Cross!"

I sighed grimly. "I… I'll be blunt: you were firmly out of your league, Nami. You have a few years of experience, however harrowing, but they've been doing this for their entire lives, literally. There's a Government island somewhere not far from here that's exclusively devoted to training orphans and offspring of previous CP9 agents into the next generation of the World Government's personal killers. They've never known anything but sabotage, corruption, intelligence, and assassination. Make no mistake, CP9 is so renowned because they are damn good at what they do."

Nami stared at me for a second before leaning against one of the crates with a tortured groan. "And we have to deal with four people like that?" she asked.

I shook my head with a grimace. "If worst comes to worst and we still have to storm Enies Lobby, there will be seven. But I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you; out of those seven, three are in league with the Monster Trio, and the rest are way weaker. Superhuman and with a few unique and deadly tricks, sure, but ultimately, with our current roster and power-level, not to mention the fact that I know their playbook inside and out, we'll still be able to win."

"Who's the third one, Cross?" Zoro asked. "Lucci's obviously one of them, and Kaku has to be another if he's a match for me."

I shrugged indifferently. "Hopefully it won't become relevant, but the third one, barely weaker than Kaku, is Jabra, a wolf Zoan and CP9's specialist in the Iron Body technique. Sanji only beat him thanks to his Diable Jambe, just like you needed Asura to beat Kaku. He's a sadistic and deceitful son of a bitch, but so long as we're ready, we should be fine."

"And what about their chief, Cross?" Nami asked tentatively. "The one you said got the authority to use a Buster Call? Whoever the World Government put in charge of people that powerful must be a monster too."

I snarled as that particular trainwreck of a human being flashed through my mind. "Only morally, Nami. Physically?" I slammed my fist into my palm and ground it in, hard. "Suffice to say that if I get my hands on Spandam, I'm going to turn him into a literal fucking pretzel and he'll be able to do jack all about it. The only defense he has for himself is Funkfreed, a sword that ate the Elephant-Elephant Fruit. Apart from that, that… entity is weaker than your average Marine. But morally?" I ground my teeth as image after image after fucking image of the Bridge and everything before it flooded my mind. "Let me put it this way: I didn't kill the Unluckies because I didn't think they were worth it, because I feared I'd regret it. Him?" I let a vicious smile crawl across my face. "I could hand him over to Chopper as a guinea pig, and that would be kind compared to what I'd do to him if given half a chance."

Zoro and Nami both stared at me in something very close to horror.

"Cross—" Soundbite started fearfully.

I cut him off with a raised hand. "He. Abused. Robin," I enunciated firmly, causing every other person in the room to freeze. "In every conceivable way except for the sexual one, from the moment she arrived at Enies Lobby to the moment we rescued her. Mental, physical and emotional torture on a level I didn't even think was possible. Make no mistake: Spandam is the epitome of everything wrong with humanity, in that he is a weak-bodied, weak-willed and weak-minded evil bastard with far too much power and pride. If we invade Enies Lobby, I'm going to make sure that he ends up either dead… or worse." I looked around the room, staring everyone straight in the eyes. "Any objections?"

"NO," all three of them intoned without hesitation.

"Good," I nodded gratefully. "Now, then, moving on… how did the meeting with Iceburg go?"

Nami took a second to breathe deeply and calm herself down before schooling a neutral expression on her face. "You mean apart from him being as irresponsible as you implied?" she deadpanned before shrugging casually. "Perfectly fine. He listened to our request and accepted a ฿100 million down payment after we gave him Granny Kokoro's letter. He said that he'll either send one of his foremen here or be along himself in a while." She paused and frowned. "We don't have to worry about the other foremen, right?"

"Eh…" I waved my hand in a 'so-so' manner. "If CP9 manages to frame us for hurting Iceburg or Galley-La in general? Quite possibly, strong sense of camaraderie there. But otherwise, the most dangerous thing about them is their quirks, and of those, the worst is Paulie trying to cut and run with a brick of gold. Basically, they're like us: we don't tick them off and we're all good."

"So," Zoro grunted. "Now we wait?"

"Pretty much, yeah," I shrugged, then reached for my side and withdrew the transceiver. "Well, I guess I may as well start up another SBS—"

"Puru puru puru puru!" Soundbite said suddenly.

"Or take a call, that works too," I continued smoothly, pressing the caller ID button. "MI4," I confirmed to Nami and Zoro, who turned back towards me. I made to pick up the receiver, then paused as a wicked grin played over my face. "Oh, Soundbite? Make my voice sound like Apoo."

"OH, CROSS, you son of a—Puru puru puru puru!" the snail chortled.

"And proud of it," I snickered, and then picked up the receiver before cackling. "Apapapapapa! Hello, you've reached Scratchman Apoo! Sorry, but Mister Cross has been disconnected!"

Nami facepalmed with a groan while Zoro smirked in sadistic amusement.

I swiftly chopped my hand across my throat and burst out cackling as Soundbite's expression contorted in panic and horror. "Oh-hoh, MAN, you should have seen your faces! I-I'm sorry, but that was just straight up hi-hi-larious! PFFHAHAHAHAAA!"

As my laughter trailed off, I noticed Soundbite glaring at me with a look of intense concentration. "Uh…"

"Oh, don't mind me, Cross," Tashigi's voice said, sounding about two seconds from snapping. "I'm just trying to kill you with the POWER OF MY FUCKING MIND!"

"If that were possible, Tashigi, he never would have escaped from Loguetown," Smoker cut in.

"Or Alabasta," Hina added.

"Or Skypiea," T-Bone wheezed.

"Or Navarone," finished another voice.

"Alright, alright, I get the point alre—huh?" I blinked, and then grinned as I processed who had just spoken. "Jonathan, you devious chess-bastard, I knew you'd come around! Good thing too, now Vivi owes me a hefty chunk of change."

Nami tsked and tossed a wad of beris at me. "Here, I bet her the opposite."

"That makes this doubly sweet!" I crowed as I counted out the cash.

"CHA-CHING!" Soundbite whooped ecstatically.

ZOT!

I flinched slightly as light and ozone flashed inches before my eyes, but I swiftly recovered and stuck my tongue out at Nami. "Nice try, but no dice!"

"Damn Chopper and his damn freaky good therapy…" she scowled as she spun her staff-third back into place.

"Hmph. Good to see that you're as composed as ever, Mister Cross," Jonathan chuckled. "And I'll admit, I did have some apprehensions at first given the risk involved in the undertaking. But time and the SBS wore them away, and after talking to Commodore Smoker, I was quite satisfied to join what's now MI5 and claim the codename of Sagittarius. My four officers and Jessica have signed on as well, and they're in the process of informing the remainder of the base."

"Great to hear!" I wrung my hands eagerly. "Now, then! Before we get to business, I believe some of you owe me an apology?" I pointedly ignored Nami facepalming and muttering something about 'idiots' and 'pushing your luck'.

"I don't apologize to many people for many things, Cross. I'll be damned if I add you to the list of people I do apologize to for not considering that someone could or would trick Akainu like Jonathan did," Smoker grunted.

"And on that note, Hina wonders how you found out Jonathan's secret when he managed to fool everyone else in the Navy," Hina cut in dryly.

"Well—!" I began.

"I'd like to know that as well, Mister Cross," Jonathan interrupted, his voice and demeanor shoved deep in his 'serious as a prowling Sea King' mode. "Aside from my laid-back demeanor since I took over G-8, I've never given any indication that I've failed to learn the spirit of Akainu's lessons. True, I wasn't as guarded with my emotions as I should have been in our encounter, but for you to have been as comfortable as you were makes it clear that you knew more than you possibly could have. And while you may have a reputation for being impossibly well informed, this borders on being genuinely impossible, if not utterly. So, considering the fact that anyone beyond the present company and my soldiers learning it would be potentially fatal, I insist on you answering me: how did you find out?" Jonathan asked, a stern frown on his face.

"Ah…" I hedged uncomfortably as I shot a desperate glance at my equally shocked allies before flinching as I realized that that look had just been broadcasted.

"And don't give us any more nonsense like you were spouting on Skypiea, this time we're not leaving without an answer," Tashigi intoned firmly.

I winced as I tugged at my suddenly too-tight collar. Why had I thought that bringing in the hyperintelligent chessmaster would be a good idea!?

"Cross."

I snapped my attention over to Zoro, who was staring at me with an uncharacteristically analytical gaze.

"Tell them," he ordered in a firm tone.

"What!?" Nami and I hissed simultaneously, though Nami was the one who followed up. "Are you out of your moss-ridden—!?"

"They deserve to know," the swordsman interrupted, his gaze frosty. "They might not fly under our flag, but they are our allies, and I seriously doubt they'll tell anyone. And even if they did, it's that chess-guy all over again: they spill our secret, we spill theirs."

"Glad to see you're as insensitive as ever, Roronoa," Tashigi deadpanned.

"Glad to see that you're as grateful as ever, four-eyes," Zoro shot back.

"Glad to see that you're still a barbarian."

"Glad to see you're still a novice."

"BASTARD, I CUT PEOPLE!"

"For the love of GOD, FUCK OR KILL EACH OTHER but don't use me to pussyfoot around!"

"SHUT IT, SNAIL!" the sword-masters roared simultaneously.

"Enough," T-Bone wheezed, his shaky voice as firm as iron. "Cross, we're waiting."

I grimaced as I processed the fact that I… really didn't have a choice here, did I? Dang it, I wasn't expecting to have to give the explanation again before I told the rest of the—

The rest of them… now, there was an idea.

I took a second to get my composure about myself before adopting a determined look. "Let me make this clear: the explanation is of a magnitude that you can't begin to imagine, to the point that I haven't even told our most recent crewmates yet. I do not want to say it more times then I absolutely have to, because it's a damn long story and there's gonna be a lot of disbelief. So, here's the deal: there's only one more decent Marine of significant standing that I'm relatively sure you can convince to join you right now. When you've recruited Vice Admiral Tsuru, I'll tell all six of you my secret. Fair enough?"

Soundbite adopted a doubtful grimace. "Tsuru…" Smoker grumbled to himself. "You don't ask for anything easy, do you, Cross?"

I blinked. "Wait, what? You didn't object when I recommended her the night before you met with T-Bone."

"I imagine that admitting one such as a Vice Admiral to a list of potential allies is vastly different from actually trying to recruit her, Mister Cross," T-Bone wheezed.

"Nail on the head there, sir," Tashigi moaned.

"Hina is uncertain about this…" Hina grumbled. "Vice Admiral Tsuru is as wise and righteous as they come, of that there is no doubt, but she is also one of Sengoku's closest confidants, and while the Admiral of the Fleets is not himself corrupt, neither does he oppose the World Government. It would take a cataclysm of untold depths to fracture their bond in even the most minute of ways."

"I see, I see," I nodded casually. "Then in that case, I just have one question: T-Bone, would you happen to currently be on assignment to… mmm, given the timing, I'm gonna say… Enies 'Kangaroo Court' Lobby?"

Dead silence rung out for a few seconds before T-Bone groaned. "I won't even question it."

I chuckled. "Ohohoh, you guys would be nowhere without me, absolutely nowhere."

"Clearly," the skeletal captain scoffed. "I don't suppose you'd happen to know what my assignment is to be, would you? They merely ordered myself and a number of my men to present ourselves and await further orders. The mood here is… tense. I've never seen the Lobby garrisoned so thoroughly."

I smiled grimly. "Security detail. You're going to be safeguarding the return of a Cipher Pol 9 hit-squad who'll be bringing with them the blueprints of the Ancient Weapon Pluton AND!" I cut off Tashigi's horrified gasp and Smoker and Hina's hisses of breath. "And… our kidnapped archaeologist."

Once again, silence.

"…Oh, for fucks' sake, Cross."

"Right there with you, Tashigi," Jonathan sighed.

I chuckled grimly while Nami shook her head with an exasperated sigh and Zoro smirked. "Don't get me wrong, we're going to fight tooth and nail to stop this shit from going down. But if we fail, well…" I injected a tone of pure savagery in my grin. "Then I'm going to do more to the World Government in a span of hours than I have in all of my past broadcasts combined." I widened my grin by a few teeth. "And should we win, well… I can only imagine the kind of holy hell that the confirmation of CP9's existence, the complete destruction of one of the Government's three sacred bases, and an exclusive interview with Nico Robin covering the events on Ohara will raise. Is that cataclysmic enough for you?"

"Enough that Hina is sorry that she asked," Hina replied weakly. "Cross, I hope you realize that if all of that does happen, your name is likely to be spoken of in the same breath as the likes of Dragon and the Emperors."

And just like that, my smile flipped to a scowl. "You don't seem to get it. Even ignoring how much I hate the Government based on everything I've seen, I stand by the same standards as my crew, the same standards as Whitebeard and Shanks: if anyone lays so much as a finger on our crewmate, it's nothing less than a declaration of war. It should have been clear from the very first SBS broadcast: if it's for one of our friends, we welcome infamy with open arms."

I sighed and shook my head as I stepped down from my mental pedestal. "Anyway, enough preaching. Is there anything else you called for?"

"…Only that I made an attempt to convince 'Black Bart' to join us, and he almost agreed, but he requested proof that we were in contact with you. Mention the words 'Rooster' and 'Integrity' in the same sentence on your next broadcast," Hina replied.

"I'll see if I can work it in somehow," I said.

"On a lighter note, Mister Cross, pass my thanks on to Miss Robin for the suggestion she offered in regards to Major Shepherd," Jonathan put in, smirking again. "He was so flustered in front of the court that he all but confessed the charges he was presented for, and they subsequently uncovered a significant history of corruption."

"How significant?" I asked eagerly.

"Ooooh, where to begin~!" Tashigi sang in an uncharacteristically eager voice. "Extreme embezzlement, framing several of the investigators who were looking into him, and acting as something of a 'fixer' for other Marines of similar demeanors. He'd make reports about them go away for a price and then transfer them to, shall we say, 'sympathetic bases'. Like, say… Base 16 in the East Blue under one Captain Nezumi, who has also been scheduled for court-martialing?"

"Now, that," Nami snapped her head around with a sadistic grin. "That is good news; that money-grubbing rat-bastard is the biggest reason that Arlong never got reported."

"Oh, really?" Jonathan asked in much the same tone. "In that case, I think I'll put a word in myself, for Bellemere's sake."

"Besides that…" Tashigi trailed off slightly before perking up. "Oh, right! And he was a chronic stealer of office supplies."

The three of us fell silent as we processed that particular tidbit before I gave the Marine a flat look. "Seriously?"

"Don't diss the Marines' logistics division, Cross," Hina scoffed. "Next to the Admirals, their accountants are some of the scariest bastards in the whole of the Navy."

I exchanged disbelieving looks with my crewmates again. "Yeeeaaah, I'll take your word for it."

"BY THE WAY," Soundbite spoke up in a curious tone. "What's with the good mood, TASHIGI? Steal another sword RECENTLY?"

"Eeheeheehee~!" Tashigi giggled ecstatically. "Not even your vile words can bring me down, you petulant pest! I'm riding on a power high!"

Aaaand now I was thoroughly creeped out. "Someone wanna fill me in?" I pleaded.

"Marine HQ tapped the good officer to lead the investigation into Shepherd for her excellent intellect and analytical skills," T-Bone rasped.

"Not only did I have the immense honor of pinning that scumbag to the floor, but I hauled in a nice and juicy promotion to go with it!" Tashigi squealed, the grin she was sporting almost ear-to-ear. "Ensign no more, you now speak to Lieutenant J.G.—soon to be Lieutenant proper!—Tashigi! Haha, woo!"

I took a second to consider this development before adopting a thoughtful look. "So, to be clear here…" I queried innocently. "You're excited about moving up the ranks of a vile and corrupt system that you are actively working to tear apart. Did I get that right?"

Tashigi's smile froze as though I'd injected it with liquid nitrogen before shattering into a positively blistering scowl. "Can… Can you not ruin my good mood?" she bit out, a tic mark clearly pulsating on Soundbite's—and thus her—brow. "For, just, five seconds? Is… Is that honestly too much to ask for?"

I made a show of thinking long and hard before answering with the utmost seriousness. "Yes. Yes, it is."

Tashigi's eyelid straight up jerked. "Goodbye, Cross."

Nami facepalmed as the connection chopped off out of the blue. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

I spread my arms in a show of innocence. "I have a naturally aggravating personality. Sue me."

Nami's sigh of exasperation sounded more like howling. Zoro simply rolled his eyes before looking at me. "Anyway… this Franky guy who's gonna be helping us build our ship, what's he like?"

"Hm..." I tapped my chin thoughtfully as I considered how to put it. "Well, first, he's kind of…"

"SUPER!"

"Exactly like tha—the heck!?" I demanded, bolting towards the door and wrenching it open. I then gaped with no small amount of surprise to see Franky on the Merry's deck in his typical pose… though I was not surprised by the sight of Boss and the TDWS all posing along with him and Luffy and Usopp laughing and clapping eagerly.

"AWESOME!" Luffy cheered. "So, you're, like, half a robot, and you run on cola?!"

"Yep! I keep it right here, nice and cold!" Franky confirmed, opening his abs to demonstrate a refrigerator filled with three bottles of cola.

Nami's eyelid twitched as she stared at the sight. "Well, there's something I can never un-see."

"Whoa! That must be way useful in the summer! But how the heck did you manage to fit a refrigerator in your own body without any negative effects from the temperature?" Usopp asked incredulously.

"Well, my belly is always cold because of this, but—"

"I have a question!" Luffy snapped his hand up in the air without warning.

"DON'T INTERRUPT MY QUESTION!" Usopp yelled as he slapped the back of our captain's head.

"Yeah? What's up, Strawhat?" Franky asked.

"You're totally metal, right?"

"Weeell…" Franky surreptitiously scratched his speedo-clad ass. "For the most part. Why?"

"Do you—?"

Right, the insane train ends right now. "OY!" I cut in.

"Eh?" Franky said as he glanced in my direction before laughing and waving at me. "Oh, hey, Cross! I was just about to tell your crewmates here how my insides work! Wanna sit in?"

My eye twitched viciously. "Yeah, not a chance in all hell…" I muttered under my breath before raising my voice. "What the heck are you doing here, Franky!? I thought you were supposed to be headed out to St. Poplar with our money!"

"Eh?" the cyborg frowned and crossed his arms as he tilted his head in confusion. "The heck are you talking about? Yeah, I've taken care of business with my family and I'm heading out soon, but I had to come here first!" He flexed his arms in a square.

"Uh…" I hedged as my mental gears failed to grind properly. "And you… had to come here why, exactly?"

Now Franky out-and-out stared at me in a lack of understanding. "Uh, because Granny Kokoro's letter told me to? Duh? She told me to show up… here… ah." Going by how he smirked in wry amusement, my confusion was clearly displayed on my face. "Lemme guess, she didn't tell you anything about that, huh?" the cyborg snickered, running a hand through his pompadour. "Aaah, yeah, that brings me back. That old hag does whatever she wants whenever she wants, and only she ever knows the true breadth and width of her plans. You know, one time—!"

I tuned out Franky's reminiscing in favor of letting my mind fly at a million miles an hour as I put together the new pieces that I'd presented, and once I reached a conclusion, the implications hit me like a fucking meteorite. Thinking fast, I spun around, fully intent on calling for Nami, for Zoro, for anyone I could get my hands on—!

"Ahoy, there! May we come aboard?"

When a sickeningly familiar voice came up from the shoreline, causing both me and Franky to freeze in place. Almost as one, we both snapped to the ship's railing and looked overboard. What we saw caused us both to jerk, though for Franky it was merely out of surprised confusion, while for me? It was out of nothing less than pure existential terror.

Because standing right there, plain as day, without a care in the world and with a mouse in his shirt pocket, was none other than the beloved Mayor Iceburg of Water 7 himself, with his trusty chain-smoking and rope-slinging second Paulie trailing right behind him.

Honestly, in retrospect, I should have seen it coming sooner. I mean, she gave us letters for both of them, so logically that meant that the two of them would have to come into contact with one another at some point in the process. But I thought that they would have been kept apart longer! Franky would provide the materials and his designs, Iceburg would provide the experienced manpower and facilities to make the Sunny the best ship born of the island since Tom's passing. At worst the two would meet up once or twice and grind against one another, but that would have been it!

But ultimately, their quarreling was an obstacle that we could surmount. Them meeting each other here was unexpected, and far from the most pleasant thing that could have happened, but it was far from cataclysmic. This situation would have been little more than a minor difficulty at the absolute worst!—if it wasn't for one itty bitty, teeny tiny, utterly fatal detail.

Paulie wasn't the only Galley-La employee Iceburg had brought with him.

Standing right there, right beside him, were a very professional-looking woman with blonde hair and glasses and a kindly grinning man clad in orange with a long, square nose.

Half of CP9's team on Water 7 was here. Half of CP9 was feet away from me. And the object of their fucking mission was standing right next to me.