Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR

Taylor Night

Reading is the only activity I've got.

It's not my favorite activity but it keeps my mind from wandering. However, I can only do so much of it. My eyes are throbbing as I glare at the words in the book. They're floating now which tells me I should probably rest my eyes.

I'm just considering that when I hear the door of the vault move. Wondering if it's my dinner, I'm about to sit up when I see another unexpected face pop in.

"Hey," Kathleen smiles at me. "You're a hard person to find, Taylor."

Unlike the others, Kathleen never rejected me. I may have blamed her for what the others did but she remained steadfast, refusing to flinch from me, no matter how I looked.

"First Beth, and then you?" I sit up. "What's going on?"

She sits across from me, a short distance from the bars, "Beth and Quill have been sneaking out every night, trying to find out where the Director kept you. Those two have gotten in a lot of trouble."

"And you didn't join them?" I feel a flicker of amusement, despite my situation, and Kathleen shrugs.

"I knew you were in the tunnels. But I'm not good with directions so there was a chance I could have gotten lost and ended up dead. I didn't think I should take that risk."

Kathleen is always so refreshingly honest.

"Fair enough," I study her. "So why did you come now?"

"Oh, Counselor Ferguson showed me the way," Kathleen tells me. "He's not a very nice person though. He called me a midget. I'm not that short."

"Wait, what?" I frown.

"Oh, you don't know," Kathleen blinks. "Beth went and fought with the Director. Finally, the Director gave us permission to visit you, but only once we let her know."

"The Director did that?" I feel surprised.

"Yes, well, Beth thought she was planning to kill you and she and Quill got hysterical but Quill is under lock and key for what he did to that student, and well, Beth went to confront the Director, and then you know the rest."

I don't know. 

I didn't think Beth would go and fight with the Director. Never thought she had those kind of guts or that she would do that for me.

"I see."

Kathleen cocks her head, "You know, you're going to have to get past your own anger and hurt, Taylor. Nobody has fought harder for you than Beth and Quill. Not even Jesse."

"What did Jesse do?" I can't stop myself from asking.

Kathleen sits down on the floor, across from me, "I don't really know but he's been talking to the Director a lot. Overall, he's not doing so good."

I hate myself for the flicker of concern. "He’s sick?"

"No," Kathleen blinks, slowly. "Well, he's just not very pleasant to be around, recently. Not that I try to spend time with him. But ever since we all came back, he's been sitting with us a lot."

I want to ask but I hold my tongue.

I made this mistake once. 

Only a fool would repeat it.

Jesse and I have nothing to do with each other. And it's best it remains that way.

"Well," I give her a small smile, "I can't say it's not good to see you."

Kathleen is quiet for a moment, "Word got out, Taylor. Not of what you are but of what happened. If you are released, I don't think things will be any easier for you."

I stare at her, absorbing her words. I had suspected something of the sort after what Beth had told me about Quill and Anderson beating up another student. 

"How?"

When Kathleen is silent, my brows knit together. "Which one of you talked?"

Finally, Kathleen admits, "It wasn't me, or Beth, or Quill. I know for a fact that Jesse didn't say a word. Surprisingly, Anderson is also keeping quiet over the whole thing."

I stare at her, before saying slowly, "So, it was Isabel."

Isabel is a relatively new student at the camp and she joined us when we all became Level Two students. Mistfall Wilderness Camp is spread over five islands, each island representing a level. Beth and I started out as Level Zeros which is usually for students who not only have no idea what they are but also needed the push to let their abilities show. Once Beth and I discovered what we were, we were moved to the Level One island and later on, Level Two. Isabel joined us weeks before the Black Wreath organization infiltrated the islands and kidnapped Jesse. She never liked me but she had desperately wanted to be friends with Beth and monopolize her, which is why she joined our mission to retrieve Jesse.

But we never got along, more so after my seal was broken. She was the most vocal about me being a freak. I'm not surprised to know that she was the one who blabbed. 

"I don't know," Kathleen shakes her head. "Beth's been pretty cold with her lately because she talked to the Director. All of us agreed not to say a word. Even Anderson. But she - You know she's not exactly your number one fan."

"I don’t have a lot of those around these days," I mutter.

Kathleen just rolls her eyes, "I don't know if she said anything, Taylor. But out of everyone, she's the only one I can think of. I know she sang like a canary once she was inside the Director's office. We were all interrogated once again after her. The Director just began confirming things at that point. She knew everything. I don't know what Isabel told her but it was clearly exaggerated. I had to end up setting the record straight. I think Jesse did as well."

I don't really care at this point but I look at Kathleen curiously, "You don't seem to like her very much."

"I liked her well enough, before," Kathleen says, her voice cool. "Or at least I tolerated her. But I'm not very happy with what she did or how she behaved afterwards, as if she was the only one who did the right thing. The Director had to put a gag order on all of us. We've been told if we open our mouths about what happened, we'll be expelled."

She stretches her arms over head, "Like I said, Beth isn't thrilled with Isabel either. And Anderson straight up called her a snitch which had her running to the bathroom in tears. Girl watched too many teen movies, growing up. I've never once run to the bathroom, sobbing, and my life hasn't exactly been a walk in the park."

Kathleen has never been this chatty and it's obvious to me that she's venting. It would be funny if I didn't find listening about Isabel irritating.

I chuckle, "I'm glad you came to see me."

Kathleen's own lips twitch, "I told you. I'll stick by you, Taylor. I meant it."

"Thanks."

"Happy birthday," she suddenly says and I blink.

"Ah, yeah."

"I was asked to give you this," she reaches into her pocket and takes out a small stone or more like a polished pebble. As she slides it over to me and I pick it up, I realize that it's not the normal gray color; its surface is shiny and multicolored. I recognize it from the lake where Jesse had taken me. It was his secret spot and there were so many of these there.

I don't have to ask her who gave it but as I stare at it, my heart aches in a hollow emotion, and I slide it back to her, "I don't want it."

"Taylor," Kathleen begins but I shake my head.

"I don't want it. Not from him. Just throw it away."

She studies me for a long few minutes before nodding, "Alright, then. I have to get going anyway." 

As she gets to her feet, she gives me one more look, "I know you're upset, Taylor, and rightfully so, but I think you should forgive the people who've fought the hardest for you. They've not been themselves since we've been back."

I know who she's talking about and I stay silent. However, as she walks out, I sink heavily onto the bed. 

The hurt has not gone away, but seeing Beth cry and hearing what she did makes me want to forgive her, forgive both of them. But it's hard. There's a hardness inside of my heart, this ball of pain that hasn't softened or gone away. It's easier to be angry than forgive. If I forgive them, what if they do it again? What about the next time I can't control my powers? How will they treat me the next time?

I stare at the bars, my mind wandering.

I don't know how I feel about this new piece of information. So, the Director just intends to hold me prisoner? For how long? The rest of my life? 

Throwing myself back on the bed, I mumble out loud, "Death would be kinder."

"Don't say that."

I close my eyes. Is everybody planning to pop in today?

"What do you want?"

"You could at least look at me," Quill said, calmly.

I stare up at the ceiling from where I'm laying on the bed, "No, thanks."

"Taylor."

Annoyed, I sit up, "Why are you guys constantly -?"

My words get stuck in my mouth when I see him carrying a small box.

"I got you a birthday cake."

I bite my tongue, "And if I don't want it-"

"I know you like cake," he scoffs. 

I stare at him, not knowing how to feel about any of this.

I catch him glancing at the bars and a pained expression crosses his face. However, he forces a smile and says, "These are fancy."

"They burn my skin off if I try to touch them or move my hand through them," I reply, flatly.

His smile freezes on his face. "Oh."

He looks down at the box in his hands, as if struggling to figure out what to say next. That's a sight to see. I've never seen Quill struggle with words. But then, he wasn't very talkative after he saw me kill the enemy.

"Okay, I'll slide it over."

He doesn't ask if it will hurt him and I see him clench his jaw, as if preparing himself for the pain as he tilts the box slightly to fit through the wide bars. I watch him, not saying a word. He doesn't hesitate, moving his hand quickly through the bar, and then he blinks, his gaze meeting mine.

"It's not meant to hurt you," I drawl. "It's meant to cause me pain."

"You could have told me."

I shrug, "I just wanted to see if you would do it."

"Sadist," he mutters under his tone and my lips quirk before I can stop myself. He sees that and stills. 

After a moment, he says, "I got some cards and that one thousand piece puzzle from the game room. Thought we could play some cards and -"

"What are you doing, Quill?" A slow sadness fills me at his fumbling voice. "A game of cards isn't going to reverse time or fix things."

His hand, which is reaching in the bag, stiffens, and his voice is low, "I know. But apologizing won't make you feel any better either. It won't make you feel any less betrayed."

I close my eyes for a second. As always, Quill can see right through me in a way not even Beth can. 

"You're right."

He hesitates, his eyes still on his bag as if he can't bear to meet my gaze. "I don't know what else to do, Taylor. I don't know how to fix anything. All I know is that I don't want to lose you."

This time he lifts his head and looks me straight in the eyes. I don't miss the agony in his eyes. 

It makes my heart ache in a way that makes it hard for me to draw in air. 

I look away.

"Beth and I can't come together. We're not allowed. I think the Director is worried we might try to break you out. But we can come one by one, with permission. Or we can try and sneak in at night. But we will come, Taylor. We won't leave you down here by yourself. And we're going to figure out a way to get you out of here."

"Don't be stupid," I suddenly say, angrily. "Do you guys want to be kicked out of this place? One more wrong step and the Director will throw you out. Beth will have to go back to her brother who will kill her."

"We'll figure something out," Quill says, tightly. "You, me, and Beth, we can all find a place together. I'll be eighteen in a few more months, and Beth will be eighteen next year. And we-"

I groan, "Are you hearing yourself? You can't go on the run. You think the Director will let two werewolves and a monster out into the human world? Use your brain cells, Quill, and drop this idea. I'm fine where I am. I don't need your help."

"Look, I know you're angr-"

"This is not about how I feel," I snap at him, frustrated at his hard-headedness. "You don't get it! You help me, and you and Beth have a lot more to lose. Don't try to do anything stupid because you think it'll make things okay between us. I don't want you guys getting hurt."

Quill looks at me, a strange expression on his face. "Even after what we did, you still care about us?"

I walked right into that one.

"Go back," I glare at him. "I don't want to see you."

He doesn't seem deterred, "You'll eat the cake, right? You won't throw it away?"

When I don't say anything, he sits down and crosses his legs. "Then I'll stay."

I roll my eyes.

I'm in for a long night.