314— Are You Considering Going Back To Him?
"If you provoke him, be careful, so as not to die the second time. Because this time, there's no guarantee of an intact corpse, and therefore, there would be no chance to magically rise up from the dead."
Having said his piece, Gao Tinghua got into the car and drove off, leaving Han Leifeng standing there, wiping away tears.
*****
In the ward, Li Chuanmo held Pei Yueran's right hand, warming her cold fingers in his warm palms. He hadn't changed his posture for the last five hours, and it was now in the early hours of the morning.
Pei Yueran still hadn't woken up.
Li Chuanmo sat there like a statue, unmoving. Even when the doctors and nurses came to check on her, he didn't let go of her hand. It was as if he was infusing energy into her to make her wake up.
In the prevailing darkness, he had thought about countless things. All sorts of emotions had washed over him, some he could name, and some he didn't want to name.
But the most prevalent, was fear. Not that he was ready to unpack the reason for this mounting terror just yet.
The first thing he had done after sending the troublesome duo away the night before, was to call his right hand man Gong Anwei.
When he picked, he intoned, "Investigate a man called Han Leifeng and his connection to my wife for me. He's from the Capital. I want every little detail, as soon as possible."
"Yes sir." Gong Anwei's sleepiness disappeared quickly.
After the call ended, he began thinking. What could have happened to make the Boss sound that way? He hardly ever ordered background checks on people.
The only time he ever did that was because he wanted to deal with that person. Gong Anwei shuddered. Whoever this Mr. Han Leifeng was, he was praying for him oh!
Qiao Mingran had called as well, but he didn't pick, only sending her a message not to worry. He knew Gao Tinghua will fill her in on the details.
He spent the rest of the time holding her hands, sometimes talking to her softly, at other times just quietly keeping her company.
He could very well understand her shock. His own shock when he saw Xie Weiwan for the first time in City M was nothing compared to hers, after all, he knew she was alive and well.
He could not imagine how he would feel to see someone he had buried and grieved for suddenly appear before him alive and well.
When the doctor informed him that she might not wake up until morning, he relaxed a bit. At least she was no longer in danger.
But then, the terrifying thoughts invaded his mind and threatened to overwhelm him. Long forgotten feelings of his inadequacy swarm in.
Next to her perfect first husband, he felt lacking in so many ways. She loved him so much that she could not forget him for many years. Now that he was alive and well, would she want to go back to him?
The mere thought made him shudder. How could he live without her?
His head bowed as if in prayer, he clung to her hands, assuring himself that she was still here, with him.
For now at least, she was his and his alone.
*****
Pei Yueran felt like she had fallen asleep and had a long, distressing dream.
She was chased by an apparition till she got to a fork in the path, and she stood still, confused. Then Li Chuanmo appeared to her right and beckoned on her to follow him.
As she moved towards him, another voice sounded to her left, telling her to follow him instead. Looking towards the voice, she saw Han Lei, complete with the boyish smile he always had on for her back then.
Confused, she looked from one man to another. The her in the dream didn't know who to follow.
Seeing her hesitate, both men reacted in different ways. Han Lei grew visibly angry and insistent, while Li Chuanmo had a look of sorrow and longing.
Finally making up her mind, she started in the direction of Li Chuanmo, who stretched his arms wide for her. Just as she was about to embrace him, a hand yanked her back and dragged her far away in the opposite direction.
Screaming, she tried and failed to hold on to Li Chuanmo. She felt herself been sucked into a vacuum, and she was back to the day the doctor announced Han Lei's death. How the grief washed over her, how she felt life was no longer worth living.
The dream continued on and on like a never ending tragic film, cleanly bypassing the sweet moments she had had over the last year and replaying the sad and lonely nights she had spent crying into a pillow.
Then suddenly, she was abruptly transported back to the night before, to the moment she saw him again.
The shock slammed afresh into her like a visible force and she gasped awake.
Li Chuanmo heard her gasp and raised his head to see her eyes open.
"Honey, are you okay? Can you see me?"
Li Chuanmo's anxious voice brought her attention to him. "Chuan!"
She didn't know what to say, but all her emotions were gathered into that one syllable. She was glad that he was the first person she saw.
It made her feel more assured.
Li Chuanmo responded to her cry and wrapped her in his arms.
One person sought the other's lips, and they kissed gently, lovingly as if reassuring themselves that this is real.
Both of them stayed for long moments in each other's embrace, seeking comfort from the other person.
Then Li Chuanmo broke the silence in a low tone.
"I don't mean to sound abrupt or burden you. But Ran, if you decide to leave me, I think I'll die."
Alarmed, Pei Yueran tried to leave his embrace to look at him properly, but he held her fast, "Don't move, just listen."
He was afraid that she would see the insecurity in his eyes and subconsciously compare him to the other guy.
Pei Yueran did as he said, but she spoke in a bewildered tone, "Leave you? What are talking—"
"I know he was your first love, and that he holds a special place in your heart. I can't forget how heartbroken you looked the day you told me about him. Now that he's back—"
He paused so that his voice would not break, leaving Pei Yueran confused, "Now that he's back, what?"
What was he expecting her to do?
He closed his eyes and said each word as if it was inflicting physical pain on him, "Are you considering going back to him?"