III

Not surprisingly, Mike was waiting for El when she eventually rolled up to Hawkins High School. She dismounted, walking Will's bike up to the rack where Mike stood, thumbs looped in his belt loops as he watched her approach. El slowed, eyeing Mike as she put the bike on the rack and locked it up. 

"What are you doing?" she questioned, shouldering her backpack and walking over to Mike. He smiled, taking her hand in his.

"Waiting for you to make sure you got here okay. Why, is something wrong?" They started walking towards the door.

"You looked kind of creepy," El quipped, quite honestly. "And you do not usually wait for me." She pointed out. 

"Well, today I decided I would," Mike replied, opening the door for El to walk in before following after.

"Hmm," was all El said in response, and all he had time to say before Nancy swooped in on them, wielding a clipboard.

"There you two are. El, I have you on sorting donations with Will, Dustin, and Robin. Michael, you are with Steve and Lucas on sandwich duty." El nodded, pulling her hand away from Mike to head over to where Nancy had indicated.

"Wait," Mike said. El stopped, as did Nancy.

"What is it?" asked the eldest Wheeler sibling.

"Can't I work with El?" he asked. It was almost a whine.

"Hm, let me think– no. You're on sandwich duty, and you worked with El last time and got nothing done. Plus, you're always at Hopper's cabin. I'm sure she'd like a break from you. Now, go make some sandwiches." She walked off to go track down Jonathan.

"I hate sandwich duty," Mike grumbled as he walked away.

El walked up to the designated sorting area, where Will, Dustin, and Robin unpacked garbage bags full of donated clothes. They appeared to be in the middle of a debate.

"Just because it makes things wet does not indicate that it itself is wet," Dustin was explaining as he folded a t-shirt. 

"No, Dustin, water is wet," Robin insisted, sorting baby clothes by month and size. "Otherwise, how would it get things wet? It sure as hell isn't dry ." El sidled up next to Will, who looked tired just from listening to the debate. Dustin sighed. 

"I didn't say that water was dry. I said it isn't wet. How do I explain this in a way you'll underst-" He suddenly gasped, snapping and pointing to Robin. "Who was your gay awakening?"

"Wh- how is that relevant to the conversation," Robin asked, pausing with a 6-month onesie in her right hand. 

"Just answer, I swear I'm going somewhere with this." 

"Okay, well obviously Phoebe Cates," Robin said. Dustin nodded.

"Right, so she made you realize you were a lesbian, just as water makes things wet, but she herself isn't a lesbian, correct?"

"Oh my God, just kill me now," Will groaned, covering his face.

"I mean, who's to say?" Robin asked. "I think Phoebe Cates very much could be a lesbian."

"Well, assuming she isn't , just because she was your gay awakening doesn't mean she  is gay, just as water's ability to make things wet doesn't mean it is also wet," Dustin said smugly.

"Ok, so water water can affect the wetness of other things?" Robin asked. Dustin nodded. "Ok, then don't water molecules make other water molecules wet?" Dustin looked about ready to scream, so El quickly changed the subject.

"Hey Robin, someone donated these…" She held up a pair of underwear, crinkling her nose. Robin sighed, grabbed a nearby megaphone, and marched off.

"PEOPLE, WE CAN ONLY ACCEPT UNDERWEAR DONATIONS IF THEY ARE NEW AND UNUSED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION."

You're a lifesaver, El," Dustin told her. Will nodded.

"I wasn't sure how much more of that debate I could take before I started pulling my hair out," he admitted. 

"Hey, that might improve it," Dustin joked, regarding Will's hair. El found a bag to dispose of the underwear in, shaking her head.

"His hair is at least better than Jonathan's," she pointed out. Dustin rolled his eyes.

"Well, Jonathan doesn't even brush his hair, so the bar is pretty low." Robin came back just then, patting the megaphone. 

"You know, I really like this megaphone. I think I'll keep it."

"Why would someone donate a megaphone?" Will asked. Robin shrugged.

"No clue, but I'm naming her Betty." Will and El exchanged a look. "What?"

"There's no way Nancy will allow you to take that," Dustin said, setting a pair of jeans on one of the piles on the table next to him.

"Which is why I'm not asking Nancy for permission. We're the same age, she's not the boss of me," Robin scoffed.

"Um, Robin?" Will lifted a finger, pointing just beyond where Robin stood. 

"She's behind me, isn't she?" Both El and Will nodded. Robin turned, laughing awkwardly. "Hey, Nancy! Fancy Nance, Nancy Pants, how you doin'?" A blush had risen to her cheeks, but despite that fact, Robin had managed to shoot off some finger guns- one with her left hand, the other with the megaphone in her right hand. Nancy sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. 

"Robin, I asked you to stop calling me that," she muttered, letting her hand fall to her side.

"Which one? Fancy Nance, or Nancy Pants?" Robin tilted her head.

"Either, both- look, how much have you sorted so far?" Nancy asked, exasperated. It was like dealing with a child. A child dressed in a denim jacket holding a megaphone in her right hand.

"Oh, a lot. We've- we've sorted a lot," Robin said, emphasizing 'a lot'.

"How much is 'a lot'?" Nancy asked. Robin nodded, a little over-enthusiastically.

"Yes," she answered. This caused Nancy to heave a sigh, adjust her clipboard under one arm, and step forward.

"Hand me the megaphone, please," she directed. Robin withdrew, cradling it protectively. "Robin."

"Betty."

"That's not my-"

" Her name is Betty."

"Whose name?"

"The megaphone's."

"Um, okay?"

"You need to address her correctly."

"Hand me- hand me Betty, please, Robin."

"Take care of her," Robin told Nancy, surrendering Betty.

"I will, Robin," Nancy replied, taking the megaphone.

"And I want visitation rights, at the very least."

"Sure thing." Nancy walked away.

"Um," Will said, furrowing his brows.

"What was that?" Dustin asked, scratching his head.

"Robin likes Nancy," El observed. "And she wants visitation rights over the megaphone Nancy now has custody over." Robin blanched, and Dustin's jaw fell open.

"El," Will nudged her. "Robin doesn't like Nancy like that. You can't just assume things." El turned to Will.

"She was blushing, called her by two 'nicknames', and did these." She imitated the finger guns. "And then got all awkward from that point on. And she's blushing right now."

"Holy shit," Dustin said softly. Robin crossed her arms.

"That's ridiculous. I do not like Nancy. She's- she's not-" Robin was struggling to find the words. "I- we're just friends," was all she could manage in the end.

"Yes, but you don't want to be 'just friends'," Steve said, now suddenly behind Robin. She jumped about five feet. He grinned.

"Sandwich duty's done with."

"Thank God," Mike said, coming up from behind El and wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he stood between her and Will.

"Anyways, what are we talking about? Who does Robin like?"

Looking across at Robin, El could see that she very clearly did not want Mike to know. He was almost guaranteed to let it slip to Nancy, which would mortify Robin. She swallowed, leaning against Mike and shaking her head.

"No one," she said simply. Robin was visibly relieved. Mike poked her in the side.

"That's not true. C'mon, who does Robin want to be more than friends with?" he prodded.

"Drop it, Mike," Dustin said. "You really don't want to know."

"Who is it?" Mike looked at Dustin, then back to Robin, then at El. 

"Your mom," Will said tiredly. Mike looked at Will, then to Robin. 

"Yup, I am in love with your mom," Robin nodded. "Karen Wheeler's the woman for m. No one else holds a flame in comparison."

"Agreed," Steve nodded. "We should start a club for being attracted to Mike's mom," he suggested.

"It would only be you and Robin," Dustin pointed out. "And maybe half the football team at school." Mike sighed.

"Fine, don't tell me, guys. I'll probably find out soon enough, anyways." He patted El's shoulder and pulled her closer. "I'll get El to tell me sooner or later, huh El?" She rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"Sorry, Mike. You will just have to wait and see. Can you get me a sandwich, though? I am starving." Mike nodded, sighing a little and walking away. Steve raised his hand as soon as Mike was out of earshot.

"Just to be clear, you guys were talking about Nancy before, right?" he asked. When they all stared at him, he scoffed. "Oh please. I've known for weeks. Between Vicky and Nancy, Robin's been a gay disaster."

"I was a gay disaster before them," Robin said defensively, crossing her arms. "They just make me more of a gay disaster, and Steve thinks the Nancy part is hilarious."

"I'm just saying, it goes to show how we have similar taste," Steve began.

"If you start talking about boobs," Robin warned.

"Like for example, I have personally witnessed Nancy's boobies-" Robin groaned "-and I'm simply saying that I don't blame you, Robin. And you know who has also seen Nancy's boobies?"

"Stop saying 'boobies', Steve," Robin said tiredly.

"Jonathan, Will and El's very own older brother." 

"I am uncomfortable by this entire conversation," Will said miserably. Ell nodded. Steve ignored them.

"I bet that between me and Jonathan, we could help you out in your quest to see Nancy's boobies."

"This is why you peaked in high school," Robin mumbled. "Because you still say 'boobies' like an eight year old." Steve grinned.

"Oh I'm sorry, should I say 'tit' instead? Nancy's tits? Or how about 'titties'? Oh wait, no. ' Breasts ', yeah? Ok, Robin. I'll help you see Nancy's breasts-"

"I will pay you to stop talking about Nancy's boobs!" Robin snapped, her face bright red.

"Excuse me?!" came Nancy's startled voice from across the room. She walked over to them, her heels clicking on the laminate floor. "Who's talking about my boobs?"  Dustin and Robin both pointed to Steve, who looked like he'd been betrayed by the both of them. Nancy only stared at Steve in disbelief before sighing. "Everyone go home. I'll finish up here. Lucas left a while ago, so if you want to go find him to play DnD or something, have fun with that." Mike got back with El's sandwich, looking at each of them with a confused expression. "You can go to, Mike." Nancy handed Robin the megaphone before walking away.

"Looks like it's a split custody agreement," Dustin noted.

"What?" Mike asked.

"Nothing," Robin replied. "Who wants to go get slushies?"

They all nodded. Will claimed riding double bike with El, so Steve, Robin, Mike and Dustin all headed to Steve's car while Will and El went to go get Will's bike. 

"How'd your bike ride go earlier?" Will asked.

"Nothing much changed from yesterday. I brought the Walkman, though," El answered, undoing the lock on the bike before taking it off the rack. "You can pedal." Will sat in the seat and waited for El to stand on the pegs before starting to pedal towards the 7-Eleven down the street.

"You think that's where Lucas went?" Will wondered.

"Probably," El mused, then paused. "Maybe. It is likely, but I do not know.

"Some interesting conversations today," Will noted. 

"Indeed. I am not sure we got anything done today.

"I mean, Robin adopted a megaphone and we kept a secret from Mike regarding his sister, whose boobs Steve wouldn't shut up about, so I wouldn't call that nothing. Counterproductive, yeah, but not nothing."

"Do you think water is wet, or do you side with Dustin?" El asked. Will sighed.

"I'd like to think Phoebe Cates could be a lesbian," he responded. El blinked.

"That did not answer my question," she said.

"Exactly."