Starting Over

"Hi, how's your ramen?"

I asked 'this version' of Haein with the sincerest smile I could manage, which probably made me look like an unalarming idiot. 

"Oh… it's very nice"

"Do you come here often?"

"…no, it's my first time"

"This place is great, right?"

"Yes, yes…"

The timid 19-year-old girl was blushing at this sudden attempt at chit-chat by an older stranger sitting next to her. 

I was disgusted at myself that I was doing this only 'a day after' what I had done to 'her'.

"Do you live around here?"

It's not that I was ever socially adept or good at small talk, but although I'd hate to say it, I was already a murderer and rapist. It's not like I could pretend to have any sense of shame anymore. 

"I come from Incheon"

Right, so she also came from a side city, just like Busan. This time only in the West.

"Are you supposed to meet someone?"

"No…"

"Oh? What brings you here then?"

In a way, I was abusing her passiveness. I knew this Haein couldn't say no. 

"I don't actually know"

"Eh——?", that was a bit exaggerated but probably lost on the simple girl. 

"...I just..", she mumbled. 

"Excuse me?"

"I just wanted to get away"

"From what?"

"Gosh, I don't know. You'd think I'm a weirdo or something…"

Yet you are still talking to this weirdo stranger next to you.

"It's OK. You don't need to say anything if it makes you feel uncomfortable"

"Are you from around here?", she changed the topic, taking my cue. 

"Yup. Born and raised in Seoul"

I've lived here now longer than 'my age' allowed. 

"Can you… I'm sorry, but can you please show me around?!"

The sudden rise in her voice as she mustered up her courage was too cute, as well as caught me completely off guard.

"I-, I'd love to!"

"Thank you!"

I couldn't tell anymore if this girl was daring or stupid. But we finished our meal and I paid for her meal. She tanked me about 15 times. 

"So is this your first time in Seoul?"

"Yeah…"

"Wow, that's really odd. Incheon is only like an hour and a half from here"

"I know, right?"

That doesn't explain anything…

"Anywhere you always wanted to go?"

"Any place you recommend?"

"Hm, let me think"

A NEET I may have been, I spent a lot of time during this time loop going around just to kill the boredom. But to find a place where this girl might like to go….

"Well, if you like shopping we could go to Myeongdong or Dongdaemun. Myeongdong has a lot of cosmetics and skincare product shops - not that I use any, haha… Dongdaemun has a lot of clothes shops that sell at very good prices"

"I see…"

Somehow she didn't sound very up for it. 

"How about Garosu-gil? Have you ever heard of that place? They have a lot of cool cafes there"

"There are lots of cool cafes in Incheon too"

"True. Hmmmmm… Ah, I know. Hongdae has a lot of clubs. At your age, I suppose you've never gone clubbing before?"

"How do you know my age?"

"Well, you look pretty young"

I know your age exactly, girl…

"I-, I'm an adult!"

:Pffft:

"Please don't laugh at me! I'm an adult! Do you want to see my ID?"

DON'T JUST GO AROUND SHOWING YOUR ID TO STRANGERS!!

"No, it's OK. :Sigh: I'm lost here. Is there any place in Seoul you heard about and wanted to go?"

"….I heard about…"

"Could you repeat that again? I didn't quite catch it, sorry"

"How about… Lotti World?"

"The shopping mall?"

"The amusement park…"

That's like where middle schoolers go in Seoul…

"Sure! I haven't been there for ages! Let's go!"

Her face brightened up like a blooming flower in the sun.

Ah, I feel blessed.

About 40 minutes later on a taxi, which she felt about taking as it was so expensive and I paid for it yet again, we arrived at Lotti World. Unfortunately, though, October 1st is Armed Forces Day and a public holiday so there were a lot of kids queuing.

"Wow… so many people here"

"I'm sure it's packed everywhere in Incheon today too"

"Heh, true"

"I guess we'll just queue up and wait"

"Yeah… I'm sorry I made you come all the way and have to wait so long"

"Nah, it's fine. It's not like I have anything to do today"

"It's your day off, right?"

Emotional damage. 

Every day is a day off for me. 

"Ahem, yes. Normally I'm VERY busy with work"

"Wow! Where do you work?"

At home. Writing web novels that nobody reads - and it's a moot point whether it actually is a work when I know for a fact that I'm never going to be paid for it.

"Ah, boring stuff. Just some company in Gangnam"

"Gosh, that's so cool"

Yup. For a 19-year-old girl who's yet to go to university just any office job in Gangnam reminds them of the romanticized company life they see in dramas.

"It's hard work, but the pay is good"

"I wish I could get a good job after I graduate from university"

"Oh, which one are you thinking about?"

"Probably one of the SKY universities. Not quite sure which one yet. I'll have to see my exam results first"

Emotional damage. 

Here I was, bigging myself up in front of a girl who could go to one of the top 3 universities in Korea. 

"You must be doing well at school then"

"That's just about all I'm good at…"

Yeah, I'm sure saying that makes you really popular in class. Have some tact, little girl. 

"Do you have any hobbies?"

"I like listening to music"

"Cool. Me too"

"What kind?"

"You… might think I'm a bit weird"

"It's OK. I like all sorts of music too"

This much was true. 

"I like rock music"

Oh?

"Any band you like?"

"I don't know if you'd know them… nobody in my class listens to them"

"Try me. I'm a bit of a rock music fan myself"

"Really?!"

"Yeah"

"Do you know… Nirvana?"

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?!!

"Of course! I LOVE Nirvana!"

"Really?!!! That's so cool!"

"Yeah, one of my favorites since my school days"

"Wow, I never met another Nirvana fan before in my life"

"Which album's your favorite?"

"In Utero… does that make me a bit weird…?"

Yeah, because most people would say Nevermind, but to me, you are just perfect. 

"No. It just means you are a girl of culture. That one's my favorite too"

"That's amazing! You want to listen to them together?"

"Huh?"

"Here!"

Haein then took out earpods from her bag, opened the case, plopped one into my ear, and put another one into her ear. My ear felt a tingle as her soft finger gently brushed against me as she did so. 

Then we waited in our queue while listening to Nirvana together, which was probably the most - and only - romantic thing that I have ever done in my life.

The only cringy irony was that the girl was making such a wholesome face while we listened to Rape Me together.

If I ever die, I'm definitely going to hell.