Chapter Four

I felt as if i was drifting through time, like I was watching my life in reverse. It wasn't every moment, just the important ones; It started with my very last life changing decision, when I slit my wrist and it progressed from there. My next memory was when I moved out of my parents house and moved into the college dorms, I remember it being an emotional day because I never really went anywhere without my parents for long periods of time; growing up I never really had sleepovers, it wasn't that my parents didn't let me or anything like that, I just didn't like them and would usually end up coming home before I even went to sleep.

Graduation was next and my 16th birthday was after that. That night, I got completely sloshed at a friends house while their parents where out of town. I came home with a wicked hang over whist smelling like weed and alcohol, to say my parents weren't happy with me is the understatement of the century but it was totally worth it.

My 8th birthday where my dad kicked a boy out of the house. I didn't really want to invite this kid to my party in the first place but had asked everyone else in my class so it would have been rude of me not to. When this boy showed up, he didn't bring a present, he ate the food my mom made for snacks and the cake but insulted her by saying it was all disgusting, and called me ugly In front of everyone there. I started crying and my dad called his parents to take him home for his terrible behavior, he was never rude again after that and became one of my best friends actually.

At this point the memories were going a little to fast to pinpoint but some of these memories I didn't recognize... In one of these, It was sunset and I was running as fast as I could out of a very large house. It was in the middle of nowhere but It was beautiful, the house was on top of a hill and on the right of me was in the direction of a steep hill and that was facing this mesmerizing red, orange and pink sunset. In front of me was a very thick green forest and that was what I was running to. I couldn't tell you why, but I do know that I was frightened, so I guess I misspoke earlier; I wasn't run to something, I was running away.

I hid in some bushes until the sun was completely down like I was waiting for something... or perhaps it was someone I was waiting for. I heard a twig snap somewhere near me so I popped up out of my hiding spot. As soon as I did a flash light was directed towards me and into my sensitive eyes. Covering my eyes with my hands I called out to him in a childlike voice, "Would you lower your light please?" Instantly, it was moved to the ground. The only thing that seemed off with my voice was that I had an accent and a proper English one at that. It seems as if I grow up in Great Britain, it doesn't make sense to me though, my birth certificate say I was born in Arizona. Things aren't adding up.

"You speak English miss?" it was a man voice, American too but his voice held suspicion. I couldn't blame him, I was a small child hiding in the woods in the middle of the night. "Yes Sir, of course I do. Just because I wasn't born In the United States like you, doesn't mean I cannot speak English." I had a mouth on me for a child in my situation, I may be intellect but I was also an idiot. Even still, I was twirling side to side with my hands clasped in front of me, acting innocently, as if I hadn't scolded a full grown man. I never really got to talk to anyone like this, or anyone really, I was usually cooped up in the house with only my tutor and the staff who work there. I heard this man chuckle as he crouched down closer to my level he brought the light up to his face and I could see his features, it was my dad..? " Little miss, I'm very impressed by you. You're very young to be speaking in such a way. I'm Michael Staton what's your name sweetheart?" Yes, it was my Father but he's much younger than I'm used to.

I was beaming, no one had praised as this man did, "I'm not young, I am six and a half" I said in a matter-of-fact tone coming out from the bushes, "I'm Nina Nightingale but Ezra calls me his little lioness" I say with little giggle and my dad, or i guess, Michael smile grows as he looks at me in adoration, "The nickname suits you but who's this Ezra you speak of, is he your friend?" It took me a moment to decide if i can trust him, while doing so I crossed my arms, tapped my chin with my right pointer finger and tapped my foot until I decided it was okay to tell him "Yes, Ezra is my friend, we are actually playing a game of hide and seek right now. He said 'Little Lioness, there are bad men here. Let's play hide and seek and when they are all gone, I'll come and find you.'" I said trying to imitate a deep mans voice but failing unbeknownst to me. " I'm just waiting for him to find me." I say the end with a small smile.

The smile on Michael's face becomes more like a grimace, "He sent you into the wood alone? Without anyone to protect you?" He say whilst looking around. I tilt my little head in confusion "Yes, why do you ask?" He gets this funny look on his face, "Nina, I don't think your friend is coming." His statement infuriates my young self, "You don't know Ezra, he always comes. Always! You frustrate me sir! Go away, I don't want to talk to you anymore! Go! Go now!"

Michael starts to look a little panicked "Sh shh shhh! Nina, If you calm down right now I'll offer you something amazing. How about that?" I instantly quiet down, "Like what?" I cross my arms and raise a little eyebrow at him, It seems I was a spoiled child, "Uh... well I give you anything you want! Toys? You can have them! A dog? Just show me what one!" I tap my foot impatiently, "If I asked, Ezra would get me these things, what can you give me that he cannot?" Yup, definitely spoiled, I was used to getting whatever I wanted.

Michael sat there a moment not knowing what to say, trying to find the right to say until it's like a lightbulb flickered on "I can give you a family." Confused, I furrow my eyebrows " Ezra is my family" Michael moves a little closer to me sporting a soft expression on is face "No sweetheart, I mean a real family with a mommy and a daddy. Wouldn't you like that?" He opens his arms and stays where he is, just waiting for me to decide.

The little version of me grows a little sad remembering one of the many times where I have seen families in not so nice clothes, living in small houses and hardly having enough food to eat but still looking so happy, the parents looking so in love and I had always longed for that to be in my life. I can remember asking Ezra if he could find a nice lady so she could be my mommy and he could be my daddy... he'd gotten very upset and left the house. Ezra didn't come back for a for three weeks, leaving me with only the staff and tutor; I felt very alone during that time.

Looking around to the direction of the house, I bit my lip, 'What if Ezra comes? He always comes back for me.' I felt very old for a six year old in that moment and troubled me, children should be playing and having fun, not making life changing decisions. "Okay" I say walking into his arms. Although I knew I'd miss Ezra, Michael was offering me what he could or would not, real family like the ones in town.

I look up towards Michael and he looks shocked as if he was waiting for me to change my mind. "Really?" I giggle at his expression "Yes silly goose!" Michael chuckles, picks me up and starts walking, "Oh I'm the silly goose?".

I jerk myself awake. Feeling disoriented and confused from the dream I had. Panting and gripping the bedsheets, I think about how real it felt. Could it really have been just a dream? I shake my head and cover my face my hands, "It's fine, everything is fine.. it was just a dream." I whisper to myself repeatedly until I'm ready to get out of bed and to go downstairs to make breakfast for my parents. I close my eyes right as I remove my hands from my face. Putting my hands on my upper thighs, I open my eyes and look directly in front of me finding my surroundings to be foreign ones; sitting up frantically I start looking around the room I find nothing familiar in it. Even now looking down at my attire, I find myself in unfamiliar clothes, a silk spaghetti strapped knee length nightgown. "Everything is not fine"