118 He is alright.

Darrien. 

I don't know what to do. How do I even do this when he is not even breathing? They all say I need to feed him my blood. I didn't feel the need to last night. He didn't even crave it. With vampires, there is usually a craving. Both parties crave each other's blood. I thought things were different with Jabi. He is a werewolf. I thought he didn't need my blood. 

I asked everyone what we needed to do. They all said that I would feel it. I did everything I felt, so now hearing that what I did wasn't good enough, hurts me so bad that it feels like I can't breathe.

I am supposed to handle this with the same strength I use to handle everything in my life but looking at him on that bed. The paleness of his skin. Jabi has always been skinny, my plan was to fatten him up, give him the kind of life he deserved. On this hospital, he looks dead. The fact that I am even standing right now is taking all the strength in me.