Chapter 12

" I do have a moral and ethical quandary for you to solve," I took a deep breath to prepare myself. The deep frown on Laira's forehead, made me think that she might be able to help.

" Let's hear it," Laira sighed, straightening herself in the chair, watching me with a keen eye. Once, I voiced out my little quandary, there was a good chance that she would figure out who it was.

" So, let's say," I drawled, still unsure whether I should say or not " That you like an older man, and you end up with the very same man," I wryly smiled, and locked eyes with Laira," between the sheets but he is ....not a one woman, man, "That was the best I was able to come up with, in a moments notice without getting into too much detail. Immediately, her eyes went to the door and stood up.

" Lily," Laira drawled, narrowing her eyes at me the moment she shut the kitchen door," Please tell me that, he is not who I think he is," Boy, she was frightening when she was serious. I couldn't deny it. Boy, she was quick at figuring that out.

" It is," I sighed and reached for her glass of wine, but Laira beat me to the punch and took a seat at the table. My only and last source of comfort was taken away from me.

" No, I think I need it more than you do," She said as she downed the entire glass in one go.

As she placed the glass back on the table, her clouded expression was more than enough to make me crawl under the table, ashamed.

" Honestly," Laira sighed " What were you thinking?" Laira questioned with the same deep frown, and I felt a scolding on its way.

" Uhmm, I wasn't," I took a deep breath, as the events that occurred over the course of two months began flashing in my head.

" Morally, what you, both of you did is wrong," Oh, I knew that, " Ethically, also wrong. I don't have all the details but at first glance, if this ever comes out to light, in the eyes of the world," Laira sighed," You will be massacred, and you know it," Laira pushed herself up, to check the food, and I did the same, on shaky legs. Alcohol wasn't for me, I gathered after a few brief moments when the heaviness in my head cleared.

" Please, don't tell anyone," I meekly pleaded, when we locked eyes.

" Don't be stupid. If this ever comes out, your chance to enter the academy will vanish in the wind. And let's not forget the people that live in Morston. If nobody knows who you are, now, if this ever comes to light your name and he will be on everyone's lips. I guess that is one way to stardom. Is it over?" Laira worriedly asked as she pulled the food out of the oven. I froze at the question. It was over. My heart squeezed at that thought, and the knot lodged in my throat made it impossible to breathe. I didn't want to think about the consequences. That was a very grim view of my future.

I nodded and resumed laying the table, trying to keep the tears at bay. Was I ready for it to be over? I wasn't but that was just something that I wanted.

" Good," Laira sighed as she placed the tray on the table, and added two glasses of water.

" Can we talk about something else," I pleaded with my words and eyes. I didn't want to think about it anymore.

She hummed in agreement, " But first, I have one last question," She tittered, embarrassed to even ask the question " How is it? And most importantly, are older men better?" The nervousness in her tone and bright pink cheeks was more than enough to let me know she was uncomfortable asking the question.

I had nothing to compare it with, I sighed, " Uhmmm...He was my first, so yes...," I abashedly added, and shied my gaze away from hers, uneasy at the topic of conversation and questions.

" As I said, I have nothing to compare it with....so I couldn't possibly say," I sighed, " But, in the time we spent together, I have no complaints," I bitterly added, and once again I was dragged back to the nights I spent in his arms, albeit brief," He is cold, distant, though, after everything is said and done," I whispered, more to myself but Laira heard me loud and clear since her expression clouded over just like the storm clouds that loomed over town, at the beginning of the week.

" I see," Laira sighed, " So, do you still want to go to the bonfire?" She changed the subject, and I was glad that she didn't press any further.

" Yes, now more than ever," I replied, eyeing the glass of wine. I need it just as much as I needed air.

" No, no more drinking," She picked up the glass, and the bottle and emptied it in the sink. Awww, what a waste.

" Alright," I agreed, but I had no intention of keeping my word. I just needed an opportunity.