The wanderer series: A Bleach fanfic

The sound of chirping filled my ears as I opened my eyes and caught a glimpse of a bird as it flew above me. Sitting up to look at the bird I;

'Wait a minute, sitting up. I hadn't sat up, stood or moved any part of my body below my neck in years'

Standing up I realized it was for real. I could actually stand which confirmed it, I was dead but where was I. Looking around my jaw almost dropped to the floor at the view, I was surrounded by what had to be the greenest grass I had ever seen and it smelled better than the perfume of that one cute nurse who was always coming to check on me and they were giant bonsai trees scattered across the plains.

"Beautiful" I unconsciously blurted.

Looking into the horizon I saw the same bird from before land beside a figure who looked a little familiar, no it couldn't be but just in case and since I didn't have any plans right now I began to walk towards the figure. It took a while but eventually I got there but unable to control myself I had to ask;

"Captain Yamamoto" I asked as the figure stared at me before smiling.

"Sorry kid, nope"

"But you look just like him"

"I needed to appear some way which wouldn't cause you to explode into atoms as soon as you saw me"

"Huh!"

"The names Cosmos, I'm what you might call reality"

He may have looked and sounded like captain Yamamoto but he acted nothing like him,

'What blasphemy'

I was broken out of my thoughts as a bird flew down from God knows where and landed on his shoulder, looking closer I realized that it was the same bird from earlier. I had never seen a bird like it before, it was black from the neck up while the rest of it was grey and its feathers struck out like a cartoon character that had been electrocuted but the creepiest part was it's bones. I could see it's bones through it's bones and I watched as it puked a golf ball sized ball in the hand of the bootleg Yamamoto. It then made a series of noises as he nodded and responded to it,

"Thank you, but this one will say yes. Yes I'm sure, don't you have anywhere better to be"

I don't speak bird but it made a few noise which I'm pretty sure meant your funeral and then flew off disappearing into the horizon in seconds.

"So shall we begin. From what I can see here, you're quite interesting" he said twirling the grey clump.

"And what is that exactly"

"Oh! This, it's your existence"

"Riiiiiiight. Can I go back to being dead now"

He didn't answer me and put his hand out, the clump levitating from his hand before exploding. I shielded my eyes from the bright light and when it died down there was a sphere surrounding us showings images of my life. A lot of it were images of me in an hospital bed while the rest was me with a screen in front of me or someone helping me to read Manga and light novels.

"Quick survey, how would you rate your previous existence"

"Pointless" I answered in an instant. It wasn't exactly my fault, living paralyzed from the neck down at a young age meant that I couldn't do much in the way of physical activities and despite trying to sharpen my mind I couldn't be called a Stephen Hawkins. All my life I had to watch as people squandered what I would kill for, I had to watch them be ungrateful. What was the point of living a life like that, well there was anime. There was bleach.

"Your existence didn't mean much did it"

I nodded

"Would you like a do over"