54 Indeed, I Love Her

Love? Danielle Dyewater loves Asura?

And she thought I loved Asura too? …What?

But how could I like Asura Claremont? That's impossible!

But even as I internally refuted Danielle Dyewater's claims over and over again, I also wasn't able to counter any of her arguments.

Did you not want to see Asura with Cassian Hall?

Indeed, but that's because my goal is to make Asura fall in love with me!

And what was that for?

Amusement. There should be nothing more to it than pure amusement that had spun out of control!

If she did fall in love with you, and your goals were met, would you lose interest and not care about her getting into a fling with Cassian Hall?

Well… No, but that's because if she truly loved me, then she wouldn't look at him! Only I would appear in her eyes!

Ah. I let out a mocking laugh.

Wasn't that just saying that I wanted to keep her all to myself?

I bent down and huddled my head within my arms, tired of thinking so much stuff.

However, the questionnaire didn't stop.

How do you feel when you think of Asura and Cassian Hall together?

I recalled the feelings I'd felt back when I first thought of the possibility:

"My heart clenched every time I thought of it, and for some pesky reason, I had the urge to utterly rip apart this strange and terrible future." (Chapter 46)

"… I mean, Asura belongs to me in the first place! Why do I have to allow Cassian Hall to steal her away? I can make it so that Asura will only see me! She won't even hear of Cassian Hall's name…" (Chapter 46)

Then, I recalled the 'love' which the old servants in King Ernest's palace gossiped about, an obsession in which the one in love is desperate and does whatever they can to get the attention of the one that they love.

Am I obsessed with Asura's love?

How do you feel about her smile? What about her condescending eyes filled with sincere and simple satisfaction, her confidence, and her helplessness when it came to my overload of affection?

"I don't know about anything else, but I'm sure that I don't want to lose any of them to someone else. Those traits are ones only I can see, and I want it to remain that way." (Chapter 47)

More traces of obsession.

And…

I remembered what Danielle Dyewater had said: "I don't care who it was that ended up with her, as long as it was someone that loved Asura and can allow her to be happy, truly happy and not that set of faked emotions she always shows."

I'm not sure if I'm okay with Asura being with someone else, but I do want her to be happy, to smile—but only in front of me.

So… I guess… I love her? Is this love?

I can imagine that if I saw Asura's eyes filled with sorrow, I would definitely, definitely kill whoever made her feel that way.

But what I didn't expect was that I would experience such a situation so quickly, nor did I expect the person who would cause this sorrow… would be me.