LXVIII

And with that, all sound from him cuts off. I can't actually see him teleport away, my sight doesn't even penetrate a fraction of an inch into the fog. Seriously, this fog is denser than actual water, that it doesn't turn into actual liquid is something that could only be described as magic.

Closing my eyes to prevent the already biting bugs from blinding me, I begin to feel my way down the tree lined alley of deep mud.

As I slowly slog through the mud, each step sapping a notable amount of my meager energy supply, I am finally able to think for the first time since waking up. The entire time that I was in that room, all my magic was being suppressed, and that includes DNTI, thus I was unable to really process anything, now, I'm afraid that there will be far too much time for processing.

Even without DNTI, I will be left with my thoughts for at least a day, and likely much longer even if I survive. Though I am hurrying with all my measly speed to warn Reinhart, I know that I will be much, much too late.

This leg of the journey consumed much of a day even when moving with the speed boost from highly leveled strength and speed skills, as well as the significant level 25 bonuses. Without those, I estimate that this journey will take at least a couple days, and considering that I am only carrying moderate rations on me, there is only so much exertion I can handle.

[Actually, how much do I have in the way of rations? I've been storing them in my storage ring, and I haven't really been paying much attention to the amount. Wait…]

As I move my hand across my other hand's fingers, I come across an awful realization. Sure enough, my ring is gone, and with it any extra clothing, food, and books I had. I quickly check my pockets, hoping that, against all odds, I will find it within. However, all I find are that the odds are never in my favor as I come up empty handed.

Whether it was dropped in Lector's shack, into the mud of this forest, or, by far the most likely, taken from me intentionally by that scum wizard, I am not sure. But whatever the case, I have none of my possessions.

"Lector!!!" I roar out, not bothering with any secrecy. "I'll get you for this! You take my skills my level, perhaps even my proficiencies, and even all that is not enough for you?! You strip me off all my possessions and necessities, leaving me to starve to death?! I will kill you, you bastard! I will rip you to pieces for this slight, and the whole world alongside you! For this, you, and the trash world that enables you, will be made to drown in blood!"

[Everything is gone. Everything that I worked for, skills and levels, relationships too, are gone. All my possessions, stripped away. A fool may blame himself in this situation, a situation in which I trusted an obviously shady individual far too much and got burned in the end. That there was something up with that wizard was rather obvious; many masters, proficient in numerous branches of magic, great skill in sorcery - quite abnormal. And while I perhaps didn't know enough of this world when I first met him to make a guess at his country of origin, I did always think that it was a bit odd how eager he was to take me as an apprentice. I passed such things off as him simply being among the handful of good people in this rotten world, but clearly that was never the case; how coldly did he allow for his students' deaths, is that the demeanor of a good man?

[So, if the signs were there from the start, and I was convinced not because he was a good actor but because I was a fool, how could this not be blamed on me? Simply put, the answer is that, as he has now made clear, he immediately recognized me as an otherworlder. Tracing that event back, there are very few ways that I ever could have avoided his presence, only two that I can think of. I could have turned down my buyer when he gave me the opportunity to not join the military, and I could have gone a different way when I was first brought into this world, and perhaps would have avoided the slavers. The direction I went in leading to my capture is fully on the shoulders of the world, and had I turned down my buyer, I would almost certainly have starved to death now.

[No, I have carried myself to the best of my ability thus far, all blame for my current situation lays with this world and that garbage Lector. Even any faults in my reasoning can be attributed to my Madness skill, which again traces back to the wretched world. And besides, was my trust in Lector faulty reasoning? How could it be, when I never really trusted him in the first place? When I allowed that schemer to name me, I viewed it as a gamble, trading the risk of being controlled for the power benefit. I only trusted him for the first time when he didn't immediately take control over me, though my trust for him was still quite limited. Built up a bit more by him getting me out of those political games with noble families, perhaps, but the point remains that I never [really] trusted him, I never [really] believed that he wasn't operating out of his own self-interest.

[I mean, who isn't? Even those who help others with no physical reward are still selfish at heart; they derive joy from aiding others and are willing to give up some worldly possessions for that joy. And even should they not derive joy, they will develop relationships to later exploit, or, at the bare minimum, feel better about themselves as a result of their actions. No activity, no behavior, is not motivated by the perception of self benefit.

[Sure, whether the actor truly benefits is up for question; it is unlikely that most shoplifters are really acting in their own self-interest, and they certainly aren't deriving pleasure through helping others by their actions; however, that can be explained by calling them fools. They still believe that they are acting in their own self-interest, and that is essentially the same when we are talking more of motivation than of results.

[So, that Lector was acting in his own self-interest does not come as a surprise. When I first met him, I thought that he may perhaps have just been a lonely old man looking for anyone willing to listen in order to pass down his knowledge, and I was willing to play the role; from this, it can be seen that even I only act in my own self-interest.

[So, if Lector behaved in such a way as to benefit himself, and if such behavior is normal, how could I blame him for it? The answer is again quite simple. I think of things from my own perspective, from the lens of ensuring my own wellbeing, to me, I am far more important than others and the world around me, I must come first, and anything that impedes that must be crushed as an obstacle in my way.

[Just because I understand why they have become an obstacle, understand that they operate with the same mindset as myself, does not mean that I have to accept or forgive, or even tolerate, their behavior. In this world and any other, anything that opposes me is my enemy and must be destroyed. Anything that limits me in any way is my enemy. Morality is subjectively determined by the individual, and I have determined that standing against me is the greatest immorality, the greatest injustice, and is behavior deserving of everlasting torment.

[Returning to my actions and how all blame rests on Lector and this world, even now I do not regret accepting Lector's naming. Should I return to the time of that decision with all of my current knowledge intact, I would make the same decision without hesitation. And why is that? Such a decision led to me, as I am here and now. Had I declined to accept his offer, I most likley would have been tortured to death for information and would be dead now, as he would have been under no pressure to avoid killing me. Alternatively, he would have forcefully named me anyway, and I would currently be in the exact same situation.

[The point is, I cannot at all be held to blame for my current difficult situation. In every circumstance, I behaved in the right way, and I made the right decision. Thus, my current situation can only be viewed as a conspiracy on behalf of my enemies, namly Lector and this world, to suppress me. Both behaved in their own self interests, with Lector obtaining power and the world obtaining entertainment from watching my downfall, and in obtaining these interests, both have placed themselves in my way, as obstacles in my path. Therefore, both must be punished, and the only suitable punishment for their sins is death.

[Of course, the world was already scheduled to die, and Lector was only going to be a special exception as the world's residents are turned to blood as a result of me furthering my selfish goal of feeling better and getting justice against this world, for justice is what brings about morality, and I determine what is moral. Therefore, I will simply not exempt Lector when the time comes, and that is that. Otherwise, my plans regarding the world have little changed, only my motivation has increased.

[So that brings us to the biggest issue, the question of how I am supposed to obtain enough power to pass judgment on the world when Lector has made clear his intent to continue stripping me of power whenever I amass a sizable amount of it? Simply put, the most simple course of action is to have my name stripped away by a powerful sorcerer. However, such a procedure comes with both great monetary expense and risk of being puppeted by the sorcerer. To find a sorcerer reputable enough to alleviate the second risk is possible, but the cost will be significantly greater. Thus, I will need money.

[As I am a slave, or at least was until very recently, I have recieved no pay for my military service. I could continue in the military, accepting pay in the future, but such an idea reminds me of Lector's warning, to stay away from Eroen if I didn't want my life taken for numerous political reasons.

[I must admit, I am quite skeptical of Lector's warning, considering that he clearly wants me to die of my own accord and going to Eroen would likely result in such a thing if he is correct. Perhaps he merely said that to trick me into going, to think that he was trying to prevent knowledge of his country's classified technique from spreading? I mean, he even explicitly told me to feel free to spread it, perhaps his advice is only an attempt at reverse psychology? Hmm…

[Actually, what would I most likely do in this situation if he had given no advice regarding returning to the military? Yes, I would most likely have set off on my own after failing to save Reinhart, going to seek my fortune in a different country. Dangerous, yes, but the risks of returning to Eroen are obvious even without Lector pointing them out. He was my greatest protection from the angry nobility, if he is no longer around, I will be quite unsafe.

[Yes, I have no intention of returning to Eroen, Lector's comment or not. Without my slave bond, and without Lector around to give me orders, I can finally run off, relatively free until Lector returns to rob from me again. He said that he was urgently called back to his country, perhaps he will be held up for a while before he can come to rob from me again?

[However, now I have the issue of being stripped of all skills and levels, and presumably of proficiencies. When I had dreamed of running away from the army, I had been expecting to have all my power, most importantly the ability to fly. Now, I have to survive in the hostile wilderness with nothing…

[Heh heh. Not quite nothing. The wrath inside me feels ready to burst, I am sure that it will be a useful asset in the future, though whether it will be enough for me to survive is uncertain. I mean, at least I get to start out with a grandmaster-level skill this time around, things could be much worse.

[Yes, I don't think that I will be returning to Eroen or the army, not that I would really be able to if my corps is wiped out with as much certainty as Lector has predicted. No matter how difficult it is, I will just have to raise my skills back up. I mean, I hope I still have my proficiencies, but I doubt it. Still, I will have to press on, to pursue my two goals with all of my strength until they are both achieved.

[I mean, I do rather enjoy the feeling of growing more powerful, though I would really rather not have to do it again so soon after the last time, especially if the process is drastically slowed. If I must undergo it again for the sake of my goals then so be it. I have a long road ahead, a road of training as I gather enough money to remove this blasted name. Anetor… where once it was a source of pride, it now leaves only a sour taste in my mouth. Yes, I must be cut off from such a putrid thing as soon as possible, only then shall what is mine remain mine.

[You know, traveling around and leveling while earning money sounds quite a lot like being an adventurer. I have read that that is as much a thing in this world as it was often imagined in Earth's fantasy stories, and I really must ask, who doesn't want to be an adventurer? Perhaps it sounds rather childish as a profession, the idea of traveling around and earning money from killing monsters, but really, isn't it just mercenary work much like what has existed on Earth since the dawn of time?

[Yes, an adventurer… What a fanciful idea. Still, it shall solve my issues and check all of my boxes as a job, perhaps I will take it as a job. Ha! 'Perhaps'? Who am I kidding? I will definitely take a job as an adventurer, as soon as I am powerful enough for the lowest-level jobs. I have always found appeal in the idea of being an adventurer, I am almost excited enough to momentarily forget the neverending flow of wrath within me!

[Heh. Hardly. No matter how many fanciful opportunities and gifts this world bestows upon me, I shall never forget its slights against me! I will take my revenge, wretched world, just you wait! I shall have my revenge!]

While these thoughts meander through my head, unassisted by DNIT, I slowly pull myself through the muck, eyes closed against any bug attacks. Still, they swarm me, and their bites and stings are quite painful. With every agonizing stride through the swamp, I feel the wrath building up to greater heights within me. I cannot help but fantasize about tearing Lector limb from limb, laughing in glee as bloody gore rains down upon me.

[Betray me, and see what comes of it! Just because your betrayal was somewhat expected and very understandable does not mean that I shall let you off lightly! Merely standing opposed to me is akin to signing one's own death warrant. To strip me of all my power as well, and to hold me against a wall with threats to do it again in the future… Perhaps even tearing you limb from limb isn't punishment enough! I would see you pinned down and shredded apart by rabid dogs! Or perhaps something a bit more agonizing… Yes, perhaps instead, I will flay your flesh and fry it into human bacon and feed it to you! Imagine the humiliation, and the excruciating agony! But perhaps still too quick… It will take me at least months, and perhaps even many years to undo the harm that you have caused me, why should you not suffer at least as long?

[Well, however I may punish him before obliterating this entire planet, I will need power to bring it about. And for power, I must return to practice! Right now, just by undertaking this walk while being attacked by these bugs, I am likely to be building up strength, speed, resistance, and venom resistance, all at once. However, more important than any of these is raising my magic skills up.]

Thinking such, I try to envision the elemental mana particles in the air. To my great relief, I can just barely make out their faint traces, far less vivid than I had grown accustomed to, almost infinitely so. My relief stems from the simple fact that I was unsure if I would be able to use magic sensory or elemental manipulation at all, or if Lector had taken that luck and lineage - based ability from me as well, for if he had, my outlook would be about to get incredibly worse without even magic in this world.

After sensing the particles, I gather them together into a small ball atop my hand. I condense this orb until I feel magically exhausted, before releasing it into the air with a sigh. Even though I couldn't see the orb, I know from experience how condensed it was. And, frankly, it was quite pitiful compared to what I had grown used to. Still, that I can still use magic at all is a relief, I suppose.

My pitiful spell leaves me completely magically exhausted, which I deem to be just fine. A constant state of magical exhaustion is a sign of high-effort training, and only is an issue if an unexpected conflict could arise. And, frankly speaking, I'd have no hope of beating any attacker even if I was in peak condition both physically and magically.

Though I am magically exhausted, keeping magic sensory active as I pull my way up this hill is no trouble at all, and a great thing to be doing as it allows me to passively train such an essential skill.

Though I know that I will have to retrain my magic-related and resistance-type skills, I am hopeful that such will not be the case with my swordsmanship. I recall that after only a few swings with a sword in this world, my skill level naturally adjusted to account for my experience on Earth. While my proficiency for swordsmanship has allowed me to increase my abilities with it far faster than I ever could on Earth, I am hopeful that even without that proficiency and those skills, once I pick up a sword my skills will return to as they were before being taken. After all, it is not as though I have forgotten how to use a sword, and while my ability is sure to be greatly diminished due to the decrease to my strength and speed, I feel rather optimistic that that skill will return to me. Not certain, mind you, but at least optimistic.