Feuer Frei!
Delirious, Nogla, Moo, Basically, and Terroriser met up with Vanoss, who was currently in full diamond armor with an Enchanted Netherite sword in hand.
"So what the fuck are we dealing with?" Brian asked as he and others arrived in front of Vanoss.
"I'm gonna be honest with you. I've got no clue. I just know that one minute I'm trying to figure out how the hell we got to this place, and on the way out I see a bunch of weird looking mobs coming towards our home with clubs." Vanoss replied with a complicated look on his face.
"The enemy is approaching!" Nogla announced.
Turning their heads towards the entrance of their commune, 500 monsters, with over 445 small ones, 50 large and fat ones, and 5 very large ones with horns, all with clubs, and all wearing.
"Oh! And they're also wearing nothing but loincloths." Vanoss whispered to Terroriser.
Looking at Vanoss with a deadpan look, all Terroriser could say was...
"Oh, how do you know it, Holmes?" He sarcastically asked Vanoss in a British accent.
"I kinda wish they had a little more to wear. I think I can see some of their junk." Brock said as a small look of disgust filled his face.
"Bleugh!"
Basically stuck his tongue out to the side in clear disgust.
Right now, it was nothing but a stare off as the monsters and the crew looked at each other dead in the eyes. However, the reason why the monsters haven't attacked yet was because within the group, the monsters notice a beastmen, an undead, and... a strange looking human which they weren't familiar with according to their scents of smell. They had smelt humans all of their lives but smelling the one wearing jet black clothes was the most peculiar one among them. Some of them think it isn't human at all but a disguise.
The next thing to happen was a human-size green piglin with furs on his skin, he wield a large club twice his size, covered in metal spikes, probably the leader of the monster band, walked a few feet away from his army and started to holler towards Team 6... with Moo in it.
"Greetings, summoners of the Gods, for as I, Strurruilk, The Mighty King of all Things Under His Feet and Ruler From His Throne of the Burning Hill and Sea Master of Thieves and Giver of All Goblin Life and Conqueror of All Lands and Grand Lord of Magic and Happiness! And Only Chief of Love and Destruction! Now which kingdom do you serve!!"
The green furry piglin called out.
"That's some long ass title." Brian whispered.
"Most longest title in 2022." Evan stated.
"I never knew we were gonna meet Wildcat's long lost father, hehe." Delirious said, giving a laugh from his friends.
"Except he looks green and fatter." Nogla added.
"Like he drank too much alcohol and drugs for the past 30 years." Brock did the same.
"Everybody shut the fuck up, be serious, we don't really know the full situation we are in.
After what the furry piglin says, looking towards each other in clear confusion, Team 6 looked back at the humanoid green pig.
"What do you mean!?" Marcel asked loudly.
"Shut it, Night man. I'm not talking to you!"
"Night man?" Basically asked himself, finding the words to feel... offensive for some reason.
"Do these fuckers have brain damage or something?" Nogla slurred out, still trying to get his body fluids moving from resisting the urge to just fall asleep there now.
"Practice what you preach, Nogla."
Delirious whispered to the Irish idiot, getting a low-five from Moo in return.
"Hold on a sec, I got an idea."
Moo said as he came up to Terroriser and Vanoss, whispering something in their ears, soon causing them to start grinning like loons.
"Oh, you're a genius, Brock!"
Terroriser whispered back to him, patting Moo on the shoulder as he and Vanoss walked a little forward from their group.
The next thing Terroriser did was speak out to the so-called Wildcat's father, in a...
...French accent?
"Oui monsieur! Though I must ask, what is it that you want!"
He asked loudly in his French accent, his answer being something that brightened up the monster horde, and being none the wiser, though they were in luck.
Grinning to each other, the monsters could only imagine that these supposed servants of their wise and Mighty king could give them a place to rest for the time being, and perhaps some women for them to have fun. Though that one guy's voice sounded funny for some reason.
"Do you have any breeding cows with you!" The same Furry Green Piglin asked.
"Come again!?" Vanoss yelled.
"Breeding Cows! Whores! Women!!"
"Uhh... what for!!?" Delirious questions.
"Fucking, of course!!" He answered without hesitation.
Now this took some time for Team 6 to process, albeit quickly though, as they figured out what the monsters might have wanted. However, they needed to be sure.
"Why though?!?" Moo asked.
"So we can reproduce for my kingdom!"
"You mean r*pe!?" Marcel stated.
"You can say that!"
...yep, that did it.
...they wanted to actually R*PE women. And the monsters wanted to know if they had to offer them. On the outside, Team 6 kept a calm expression for the most part, but deep down they are pretty much pissed. Of course they are big assholes and idiots and sometimes talks about sexual jokes on each other but they have red lines, topics about something like rape and other cruel stuff is something that they don't want to across.
They definitely don't want to ruin their careers because of that stuff.
Let's take Lui for example.
While they are pissed on the inside, Nogla however was the most verbal one of their common thoughts.
"Well boys... I guess this means we're definitely slayin' their asses." He said in an even tone as he neutrally looked around his friends as he motioned to the monsters.
"Hold on, hold on. Let's play these fuckboys for a little longer. That way we can milk this out till it gets hilarious." Terroriser whispered back to Nogla as he soon faced the Piglin leader again.
"Oui! They are quite nice, no?!" He asked back to the green Piglin in his French accent.
"Then bring them out!! My boys are dying to stick out their dicks in some whores right now!!"
"Oui! Right away monsieur!!"
That's when Vanoss turned to face Delirious and sole to his frenemy is his own French accent.
"Obtenir la Grande Bertha,"
"Quoi?"
Vanoss just moved his hand towards Delirious in a "shooing" motion, indicating for Delirious to get going.
Nodding right away, Delirious ran off to go get what was needed for this fine occasion, though that didn't go unnoticed by the furry Green Piglin.
"Where's he going!?!?" He asked as he spotted Delirious runs back.
"He's going to get the cows you asked for!!" Evan answered as time flew by.
Not even two minutes later, everyone heard the sound of wheels turning, the monsters looked behind Team 6 to see Delirious pushing a large Artillery Cannon towards them, something inside in the cannon echos a "mooing" sound a bit.
[IMAGES]
'Huh, It's a good thing I still have the Artillery addons I downloaded last year.'
"Hey, what is he doing!" One of the goblins yelled to their king.
Before any of them could speak, Terroriser beat them to the punch.
"FEUER FREI!"
(Translation: Fire at will!)
The cyborg yelled, this time he spoke in a perfect German language as Delirious opened fire the artillery cannon.
*BOOM!!!*
The Artillery cannon violently exploded, letting loose something large and alive as it soars through the air at terrifying speed. The monster didn't even react in time until it was too late as the projectile hit them, killing more than 10-20 in an instant. They were utterly confused as to what was being thrown at them.
They were being attacked by Artillery Cows!
*BOOM!*
*BOOOM!!!*
*BOOOOOM!!!!!!*
Three cows mooing loudly at fast speed, snapping the monsters out of their trace, seeing that the cows were way too close to landing on top of them. A majority of the monsters moved out of their way in time, but the same couldn't be said for 10 goblins, 3 hobgoblins, and one Ogre were crushed and killed by the force of the impact or the weight of the cows hitting them.
Back to Team 6, the monsters saw that they all had glowing bows and arrows, all aimed and ready to fire at the monsters.
"Enchanted arrows at the ready!!" Marcel called out.
"Aim!!" Brian follows.
"Let loose!!!" Evan added the last words.
Hearing the Owl boi's word, all of Team 6 fired their arrows towards the horde while Delirious continued firing Cows after Cows in his Artillery Cannon without feeling even tired for some reason.
One thought raced through the minds of the monsters before tens of arrows and few Artillery Cows hit their marks. Each arrow and Artillery Cows fired, it killed more than 20-30 monsters, by the time they all open fired at the same time, the monsters all began to panic while arrows and shells continued hitting upon them, including the green piglin leader.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??!!!?!??!?!?"
Being cursed with immortality and lived more than 900 years, Strurruilk never felt this kind of fear in his whole life.