Annoying

"All this time wasted. So many moments to be had, and yet no opportunities have been seized. Thing, how could you not tell me?" Vlad questioned imploringly of the appendage that he held in his outstretched hand.

Thing attempted to sign his answer using his dexterous phalanges, however Vlad would have none of it.

"No! Thing, just no. There are no excuses to be had and no circumstances that can be misinterpreted. You have failed your city...my apologies, you would not get that reference, but if you did, you would know how serious this is. SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A DRESS!" Vlad finished his dressing down of the appendage, his voice booming throughout his solo dorm room, after he had abducted Thing from Wednesday's, moments ago. Thing had a lot to answer for. His betrayal came swift, abrupt, and would not be easily forgiven. If Vlad had not randomly spread his senses throughout the academy to check on the several insects that scurried about, he never would have learned of such an event until it was too late.

"Okay, Vlad. Take a second...deep breath in, deep breath out. Wait, I don't even need to breath, deep breaths do nothing for me. Well, Thing, I have tried all the ways I could think of to calm down. I said the words breath in and breath out, just like they do in the movies, and yet my anger still burns like the fires of purgatory. Looks like you'll be caught up in them." Vlad spoke, as he made his way to a bucket of water that was 100% not previously beside his grandiose chair.

"No matter how much you moisturize," Vlad's voice took on a low solemn tone as he brought the hand close to his face so it could look into his narrowed eyes, "you will forever remember how prunee you became today, and know that the dry and flacked skin that follows will only be the fault of your own failings."

Just as Vlad was about to move the hand from his sight and plunge it into the bucket of too warm water that both knew for certain would strip the natural oils from Thing that he was so proud of, the appendage sought to make one last stand.

*Tap tap tap snap tap.*

"What do you mean you know of a dress?"

*Tap tap snap snap tap*

"Has she seen this?"

*Snap tap*

"And she truly showed interest in it? Never mind, based on what you've so thoroughly described, it sounds exactly like one she would like. Very goth-chic. Perfect for a funeral or a wedding. She has great taste, but I can find something far better than what this small town has to offer." Vlad stated, a proud smile gracing his face at the preferred fashion of his little death. Style was incredibly important.

"Okay, Thing. Perhaps, there is a way to save yourself yet." Vlad once again brought the hand to his face, only this time, he sported a, while still handsome, very unsettling smile. "If my little death is going to be escorted to a dance, then it will be a dance to end all dances. HAHAHAhaha....perhaps I should get out more."

And with a snap of his fingers just to add flavor, he dropped Thing into the bucket, and vanished, only leaving behind a note of instructions for the grateful appendage to follow, that could only thank his good fortune that he was not trapped within and left to chap.

Vlad appeared behind Wednesday and Eugene in the cozy little cave that seemed to have been used to train a very bad dog, interrupting whatever shenanigans the two were getting up to.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind before either of them could take in his presence. Not for a second considering that they might have been on edge.

Before his arms could fully embrace her waist, she seemed to pick up the sound produced from his weight snapping a bone on the ground, and whirled around, back hand at the ready, only for Vlad to duck underneath the swing, and grab her from the front instead.

He gave her a quick peck on her soft lips. "Hello, gorgeous." He spoke, his voice dripping with that good stuff so sexily that he had to perk an ear in Eugene's direction to make sure his uninoculated heart could handle the heat. Can't have the young boy dying because He couldn't keep his sexiness contained only to those who had gotten slightly used to it. He couldn't help but acknowledge in his mind how considerate he was. Truly a good person.

Wednesday let her arm that had been swung rest on his shoulder, as if she couldn't be bothered to put it down, however he knew the truth. She just wanted to get a feel of the hair that flowed over his shoulders. He understood. As scrappy coco once said, his hair was silky smooth.

"Why do I feel like you're thinking very unnecessary things?" Wednesday droned out in a deadpan, as if she knew that he had gotten caught up in his, while factual, frivolous thoughts. She knew him well.

Vlad placed another swift kiss upon her lips. "I've learned something new. Something that you failed to tell me, no doubt hoping I'd take it upon myself to make the request." Vlad could see the wheels turning in her head. Her eyes, although barely discernible, were searching...right up until she saw the smile that stretched across his face, then she knew.

He could see the slight panic appear on her face.

He couldn't stop the low laugh that echoed out from his chiseled abs. The sound reverberating off the cave walls.

"That's right, scumpa mea. Prepare yourself. It will be a night to remember."

"Wait.." He was already gone.

Wednesday ran, as quick as she could out of the cave, its contents quickly completely overshadowed. She had bigger bats to fry.

Eugene came running up behind her. His presence, she had momentarily forgotten.

"Was that Dracul? He joined the club earlier in the year, but he never shows up." Eugene began a rant of his own. "Sometimes, my glasses disappear and I can't find them anywhere until a little later, when they just show up on top of my head. At first I thought I was going crazy, but look, my glasses are gone again." He points to his face. "They were just on my face. I was wearing them and now they're gone. He disappeared along with my glasses." Eugene stated, his heart swelling with joy at knowing that he was not insane. "Luckily," he reached into his pocket, "I started carrying around another pair, just in case I lost them again. A beekeeper is always prepared." He finished, flicking his spectacles onto his face with a confidence that only comes when one slays a dragon. He had his answers.

"Any idea what he uses them for?" He asked his fellow beekeeper.

Wednesday thought for a moment, then looked back at him.

"To be annoying."

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(Author note: Additional chapters on my patreon.com/TheGreatestHunter , it's still new, but its getting there. As a great individual once said, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single leap. Yea, I know quotes.)