Chapter 4 Bye Bye Cannon

"Alvarcus! Step forward." With a huge sigh and a lot of forced effort I approach Iruka-sensei. "Henge into a person of your choice."

Person of my choice, yeah right. All this time you had us change to the Hokage. That is who I am changing into.

POOF!

I am the Hokage now. Maybe I should act the part? "Iruka-kun! How wonderful you have trained these new shinobi! You are an outstanding member of society! In fact you deserve a raise!"

"Very funny Alvarcus. One thing to know about the henge, without prior knowledge the voice will not change. Nice try, but last time I checked the Hokage does not sound 12 years old. I am fairly sure he is pushing seventy." He says as he scribbles down on his clipboard

I let my henge fade.

"Aw damn. That thought never even occurred to me." Besides, how could I mimic a voice I've barely heard?

"Show me a replacement next." He orders.

I kawarmi with a chair on the other side of the classroom.

"Well done. Bushin next."

After molding the appropriate amount of chakra I created a bushin on the chair in the middle of the room that I used for my kawarmi. Yes! Extra credit for spawning it so far away! Clone-me looks at me, shruggs, gets off the chair and lays down for a nap.

"Alvarcus."

"Yes Mizuki-sensei?"

"Why is your clone napping?"

"I believe he is tired."

"Tired. Really?"

"Well I wanted to show I could make him do stuff, and the first thing I thought of was that I really wanted to sleep. So I made him lie down for a nap." I'm not lying, I am rather tired. I was up all night practicing for today. I refuse to fail now.

"Really?" Mizuki-sensei sounded exasperated. Iruka-sensei just chuckles to himself.

"Pass. Here is your headband, now go back to you classmates." Iruka-sensei smiles proudly at me. Mizuki just seems indifferent. Whatever. Not like I have to make him happy if tonight happens like I think it will. He will be branded a criminal and Naruto will get to graduate.

"Hey everyone look! Even Alvarcus passed! This test is going to be so easy I'll have no problem! Believe it!" Ah, good old Naruto, making fun of me because he is insecure. His verbal tick is really annoying. Sometimes I feel bad for Sasuke and Sakura, they'll have to put up with him for years.

"Naruto! Be quiet and get in here! You're next!" Iruka to the rescue! No need for me to belittle Naruto now. He will do that to himself when he fails.

Walking back up to my chair in the back of the classroom, Hinata of all people talks to me. Well, we have sat next to each other for four years. It isn't that strange. Okay, it is pretty strange. We have to be the quietest kids ever. She's is cripplingly shy, and I just don't want to talk to 12 years old kids.

"W-well done Alvarcus. Did you have any p-problems?"

"Nah. It was rather easy. Congrats yourself. Today is a big day."

Before we could talk more Iruka comes back in. Wow, Naruto failed very quickly.

"Alright everyone! That's it for today. Meet back here for your last day at the Academy. You will get your gennin team assignments then. You are all shinobi now! Make your village proud!" Good guy that Iruka. I'm glad he is proud of us. I just hope my parents will be the same.

Later that Day, at the Mar House

"Oh Alvarcus! Look at you, shiny headband! I'm so proud of you. Our little shinobi!" Namika pulls me in for a closer look at the shiny piece of metal.

"Kaa-san! I am not little!"

"Yes you are. Now come here! Let's see that headband!" Tou-san pulls me away from my doting kaa-san and playfully flicks my new forehead protector. "Keep that safe. It means a great deal to shinobi."

"Yes sir!" I give him a mock salute. The effect is lost on both of my parents, they just chalked it up to me being strange again.

Talk like that went on all night. One of my parents was always congratulating me or talking about how proud they are. We couldn't leave the house since Mizuki and Naruto have the village on lock down.

My parents did seem truly proud of me. The entire night they were so happy for me. They must have finally gotten over their shinobi paranoia now that one is in the family.

"Alright Alvarcus. It's time for bed. You have a big day tomorrow! It isn't every day you meet your first sensei!"

"Okay tou-san. Night kaa-san, night tou-san." Ah, it feels good to be a shinobi! I go to my bedroom and snuggle down to sleep. Then I hear faint whispers. Too faint to make out at first, but if I focus I can barely make out the words.

"Our son is following in that man's footsteps." Fujita whispers to his wife.

"I know. He seems so similar to him. Anti-social, reclusive. They're both smart children, prodigies. The only reason Alvarcus isn't considered one is because he fails on purpose." Namika sounds defeated.

"Do you think..." Fujita doesn't finish his sentence. I don't think he could finish it, whatever he was going to say was too much for him.

"He's still our son. He's not him. Just because he looks similar to that man does not make him the same person. We won't let our son turn out like him."

"Then why did we let him go to the Academy? Why did we let him become a shinobi?"

"I don't know. It was a moment of weakness and neither of us could tell him no after we said yes. It would crush him, Alvarcus never wanted to do anything more than to go to the Academy."

"We should have said no." Fujita grimly says.

"We should have." Namika agrees.

At that moment I realized they wanted me to fail. They don't want me to be a shinobi. Even after four years at the Academy they still don't want me to become a shinobi. The one thing I want to do in this life my parents reject.

It hurts.

Next Day, at the Academy

"Alright gennin! Are you ready for your team assignments?" Iruka calls out to the sea of new shinobi.

Hell yeah I am ready! This is the real start of my ultimate badassery! To become a legend! To achieve the S-rank!

"Once I call your name your jonin sensei will come in and take you. Team 1:..."

At that point I tune Iruka out. I'll pay attention once he says my name, until then I don't care. I'll get my team, we will kick ass, take names, and be awesome! Or die horribly. Honestly it could go either way.

"Team 7: Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno and -"

BANG!

"Oi. Iruka. You are Iruka right?" A tall an imposing man with flowing white hair barged into our classroom.

Who the hell is this guy? This didn't happen in cannon. Did something go wrong? I do a quick head count of the new gennin. There's one extra person here. Did I screw something by enrolling into the academy?

"Jiraya-sama?" Iruka sounds star struck.

Jiraya? He doesn't show up until after the first 2 rounds of the Chunin Exams! What is he doing here?

"Cool. Right place. Hey! Which one of you kids is Naruto?" Jiraya addresses the new gennin.

No. This is not happening. No.

"I am! Who are you old man!" Naruto, shut up, sit down and wait for Kakashi like cannon! I refuse. This can not be happening.

"Who am I you ask! I am the legendary -"

"You are Jiraya of the Sannin. Student of the Third Hokage. Toad sage. Seal master. Pervert." Jiraya face falls. He literally fell on his face. I didn't expect that.

"Who said that? Who ruined my intro!" This is awkward. I probably shouldn't have blurted that out. Note to self: Never interrupt people who can kill you with a napkin and make it look like an accident.

"Sorry? Was I wrong?" I timidly say.

Jiraya glares at me. Actually, the whole class is staring at me. How awkward. This is what I get for being the quiet kid in the back of the classroom, whenever I speak up it is a sign of the end of days.

"Yes! I am not a pervert!" Oh thank Kami. The show was wrong about that. There is hope yet!

"I am the legendary Super Pervert!" Never mind. He is insane. He actually tried to introduce himself with the dance and openly declared himself as a super pervert. Wow.

"Hey! Enough about Alvarcus! He's boring! What did you want with me, Naruto Uzumaki, the future Hokage?"

Right. He wanted Naruto for something. Maybe to check the seal? Tell him about his parents?

"You're Naruto Uzumaki? Let's go." Jiraya then proceeds to pick up Naruto, throw him over his shoulder, and leap out the window. Well, there goes the plot.

THERE GOES THE PLOT!

My future knowledge! All the things he is supposed to do! Sasuke's rival, save the Land of Waves, stop Gaara, and least of all SAVE THE WORLD! What the hell is Team 7 going to do now? I really feel sorry for the person who replaces him. Without Naruto, that team is doomed to an early and violent grave.

"Ahem. How about I get back to the team announcements?" Iruka sheepishly says to the stunned gennin before him.

Oh right. That is still happening. Leave it to Iruka to keep us on track as if one of our classmates wasn't just kidnapped.

"Like I was saying, Team 7: Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Alvarcus Mar."

I am dead. Very, very dead.

"Uh Iruka-sensei? There has to be a mistake." Please say he is wrong. I don't want to be on Team 7!

"There is no mistake Alvarcus. Now, I approve that you are finally voicing your opinion, but please be quiet." Iruka scolds me. Fine. If he won't listen to reason then he will listen to logic!

"But Sasuke is the rookie of the year, and Sakura is the highest ranked kunoichi! Aren't they supposed to be paired with the dead last?" There! Refute that cold hard logic!

"That is correct. They are paired with the dead last." Ha! I knew I would get off that team! Wait. What?

"I'm the dead last? I thought Naruto was!" This can't be happening.

"As you can see, Naruto has his own personal teacher. Therefore, with him out of the running you are the dead last."

Oh hell no! That can't be right. There is no way! I always did my work. Now that I think about it, I always did a really terrible job at my homework and tests on purpose. Why did I do that? I found it funny at the time, but now I royally screwed myself over.

"Now if I can continue, Team 8 is ..." Iruka keeps on talking.

I tune the world out. What am I going to do? I am on Team 7. Team 7! The one that all the crazy stuff happens to. Oh Kami, I have to face Orochimaru during the Chunin Exams. That's like 4 months away! I am not ready. I take it back. I don't want to be a shinobi. I want to be a baker. Baking sounds nice, nice and safe, no snake men trying to give my teammates a cursed hickey of doom.

"Are you okay?"

I jolt out of my internal rant, flinching rather badly. Sakura is looking at me. Sasuke is staring out the window. There is no one else left in the classroom. When did everyone leave? How long was I freaking out for?

"Hey, Alvarcus, you okay? You haven't moved at all for like hours. Even Sasuke moved to a window seat. Are you nervous?" Sakura asked me.

Okay, deep breath, then calmly reply. You can do this. Just because you are on Team 7 does not mean you have to go through all that terrible stuff they do. I doubt I even have Kakashi as a sensei. Who am I trying to fool? There is no way the Elder Council did not get Kakashi to be Sasuke's sensei. He is the only one with experience wielding a Sharingan in Konoha.

"I am rather nervous. I hope we have a good jonin sensei." I calmly respond.

There. Small sentences. Wait until you are done freaking out for big words and tough concepts. In fact just nod from now on. Good plan! Sakura is still talking at me. Have I nodded recently? I'm not sure, I better do it anyways.

Finally the door to the classroom opens. Kakashi pokes his head in. "My first impression of you, I don't like you."

And you're an asshat.

Sasuke's head whips around to stare at me. Sakura opens her mouth in horror. Kakashi tilts his head in mild amusement?

"Meet me on the roof in 5 minutes." Kakashi vanishes into a swirl of leaves.

"Why did you say that!" Sakura hisses at me.

"Say what? I didn't say anything."

Sasuke, opening his mouth for the first time that day, bluntly states, "You call our sensei an asshat."

"That was out loud?"

Sakura nods her head in disbelief.

"Well damn. There goes the good first impression. We better get to that roof."

I sprint out the room. That was monumentally stupid.

On the Roof

"So, now that we are all here, lets talk about ourselves. We're supposed to be a team now!" Kakashi is way too chipper for just being called an asshat. "I'll even go first. My name is Kakashi Hatake, my likes and my dislikes don't concern you. My hobbies... I have many hobbies. My dream I won't tell you."

How informative.

"Pinky! You next!" Kakashi points at Sakura

"My name is Sakura Haruno, I like..." She glances at Sasuke and giggles, "I dislike when Naruto asks me out! My hobbies are picking flowers with Ino. My dreams..." Looks at Sasuke again and giggles loudly.

Oh Kami, I didn't think the fangirlism was that strong in this one. She always seemed more tame in the classroom than what the cannon showed.

"Broody! You're next!" Kakashi points towards Sasuke.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I dislike a few things and I like even less. My hobby is training. I don't have a dream. What I do have is an ambition. I want to kill a certain man and revive my clan."

That I expected. There is no way the massacre didn't scar that kid.

"You. Name caller. Go." Kakashi points to me.

Name caller. How appropriate, I did call him an asshat 10 minutes ago.

"My name is Alvarcus Mar. I like reading and sleeping. I dislike being cold and heights. I really dislike heights. I don't know why though." That is pretty strange. I never disliked heights in my previous life. I even went skydiving once! "My hobbies include drawing, sleeping and imagining creative ways to kill my enemies. My dream is to be a S-rank shinobi."

That got a reaction from everyone. Sasuke looks intrigued, Sakura looks surprised and Kakashi simply raises his one visible eyebrow.

"S-rank? That is quite a ways off for you little gennin. You have to pass my test first." Ah, the infamous bell test. "Meet at training ground 7 tomorrow at 6 am. Oh, and don't eat breakfast. You will just puke it up." Ew, Gross.

"Hey Kakashi where is – oh. He's gone. Where did he go?" Poor Sakura looks so confused. She better get used to Kakashi disappearing on us. I have a feeling it will be a regular occurrence.

"Well, see ya both tomorrow!" I wave cheerfully and head off the roof.

Time to wake up early, wait for three hours, then get my ass kicked by an elite jonin. Can't wait!

Later that Day at Home

"Kaa-san, tou-san, I got my team assignments today." The last time I brought home news about my shinobi career both of my parents hid their true feelings from me. I wonder how they'll deal with this news.

Kaa-san gives me her undivided attention. "That's great! So who is on your team?"

"Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. They seem nice. Sasuke is really moody all the time and Sakura has the most ridiculous pink hair."

Tou-san chuckles at my descriptions. "Not everyone can have a nice hair color like me!"

Damn him and his awesome dark blue hair. How dare my genetics pass on this jet black hair.

"Did you say Sasuke Uchiha? I heard he is the last of his clan." Great, even my (secretly) shinobi hating parents have heard of the Last Uchiha.

"Yep. That's the one. I think he has problems."

Kaa-san smiles sweetly at me, "Of course dear. After what he went through anyone would have problems."

I can't believe social conditioning has advanced this far in this damn village. If he was from a clan that didn't have a bloodline no one would care.

"Well, Alvarcus, Fujita and I have some news too!"

They have news for me? Interesting, maybe the bakery is getting an upgrade? Business has been good recently, ever since I figured out how to make cinnamon rolls and doughnuts with the foods available to me here. I can't believe no one else has made them before. I'm slowly introducing foods from my first life to this world. I can't wait until I make a cheeseburger or pizza, it'll spark a revolution.

"You are going to get a sibling!" Kaa-san, with the biggest smile ever, tells me.

"Sibling? I'm getting a sibling? I'm going to be a big brother?" I look over at tou-san. He just starts laughing.

"That's right. You are going to be a big brother." Both the parents confirm it. It's official! I am going to be a big brother!

"That's great! When is the baby due? Is it a boy? A girl? Can I pick out the name? Please!"

I would like to say with my adult mind I controlled my excitement. I ended up bombarding my parents with questions for the rest of the night. A big brother! Me! That's great news, I've always wanted a sibling.